Sexual Behaviour

Common L- and R-brain human behaviours

*** WARNING ***

This research topic focusses on human sexual behaviours from a L- and R-brain perspective. By the very nature of this topic, its content is restricted for the protection of young L-brain readers. This material should only be read by persons aged 18 years and over (it won't matter for all balanced individuals, or those who already possess a strong imagination for determining all aspects relating to this issue using the R-brain). By choosing to scroll down the page and read the material contained herein, we must assume (i) that you are honest and mature; (ii) that you have acknowledged the work is purely for research purposes; and (iii) that you take full legal and social responsibility if you are not suppose to be reading this material.

As a parent, you may need to determine whether this information is suitable for your children (i.e., people who are not yet "young adults" with reasonable knowledge of sex education or who have already engaged in sexual activity with other people). Listening to your children's responses, you can determine which of the following is appropriate for your family members:

  1. If your children do not understand the words "penis" and "vagina" (the currently accepted scientific terms to describe the biological tools for procreation and/or sexual pleasure) and how they interact, it is unlikely they will find the information below of interest and will naturally go elsewhere. But if you like, please purchase a web page filtering software program such as Web Nanny to ensure your children are unable to access this page.
  2. If, however, your children do understand the terms used (i.e., they have thought about them at some point together with an interest in looking at the crotches of other people or seem overly fixated by breasts on a female), we recommend that you begin talking to your children about sex education now before letting them read this material. We believe the more children learn about this topic, the more quickly they can grow into mature, balanced and responsible young adults; and can make appropriate and well-informed decisions when certain situations involving this issue arises.

NOTE: Pictures shown on this page DO NOT reveal scenes of sexual intercourse. They have been chosen from freely available sources to be the more socially acceptable for publishing, and to help highlight certain important L- and R-brain patterns associated with human sexual behaviour. The images presented below are for scientific and research purposes only.

The L-brain approach to selecting sexual partners

L-brain people rely significantly on direct observation through their eyes to make all sorts of decisions. When a decision is made, it is often accompanied by rapid changes in behaviour (such as a quickening of the heart rate, a hardening of the penis etc).

Because so many decisions tends to be made by sight alone, L-brain people are likely to emphasise good outer appearance as important to choosing the right sexual partner rather than knowing about the person on the inside. Thus it is not unusual for L-brain people to be influenced by young sexual partners because of their high probability of being attractive in the eyes of L-brain people. In fact, L-brain people are, particularly fond of young potential sexual partners who they believe, or like to believe or think, are still a virgin.

Showing a sense of competitiveness in being the first to date, sexually conquer and, if they are committed in the sense they will not be affected by the attractiveness of other partners, have children with a particular usually attractive partner, is another common characteristic of L-brain types. We see this in the way L-brain people anticipate a potential sexual encounter by approaching someone else before anyone else does, striking up a conversation, and getting permission to go on a date.

If successful, and if there has been any form of sex that has taken place, L-brain types use their strong social skills to usually brag to their friends about the experience (perhaps to fend off the competition, or to show how successful L-brain types can be and so boost their own egos).

NOTE: Even pretending to call yourself a virgin is enough for L-brain types to think they are the first if it means the possibility of having sex with you for the first time. This also explains why changing the scenery and/or clothing prior to and during sex can often reinvigorate a sexual relationship among L-brain people.

The L-brain approach to sex is a common characteristic of men. (2)

This is natural as men have evolved the need to observe, remember, quickly recognise, and spontaneously act on whatever they see through their eyes especially of a survival nature. For example, the presence of a predator is a crucial pattern needing to be observed, remembered and recognised before the quickest and most direct set of actions (i.e. the behaviours) can be applied (e.g. fight or flight response). Otherwise it could end up becoming a life-and-death situation.

After many years of co-ordinating the eyes and the brain to perform these almost spontaneous and overt behaviours especially at a young and inexperienced age, men have realised this observing can also result in spontaneous sexual behaviours. Because of the connections between the eyes and behaviour, the sight of a attractive female can have great impact on men's emotions leading to familiar physical behaviours such as the appearance of an erection and a rush of various pleasurable hormones. As a consequence, men think the best way to solve the situation is to apply the same L-brain approach in a direct, quick and efficient, often forceful, hard and rough manner to help achieve what they think is a survival-based goal (perhaps males think females are like spiders and will eat them alive unless they can do the "quick bang and out" action). And since the lives of men have been in the past (and usually still is) relatively short, hard and filled with danger when dealing with numerous predators, it is likely the same forceful L-brain approach will be used when approaching sex with a female.

Such an approach may explain why L-brain males often say to other males that you should "go hard" because men tend to realise life is short and soon most men will die and probably "die hard" in life. Since everything else is pretty much a hard on life, so to speak, when you are L-brain, so sex with a female is learned by men to be considered hard, rough and fast as the rest of life.

L-brain males are competitive when it comes to choosing a female. This is understandable where there are more men than women, or women tend to be reserved and keep away (understandable if they fear the possibility of falling pregnant). Furthermore, the biology of sex makes it clear woman can only hold one penis at a time during the moment of ejaculation by the male even though a woman can potentially produce a number of children from many different fathers over many years if she so chooses. Indeed, it only takes 9 months before a female can reproduce again. But there are other reasons for the competition. L-brain males are more likely to feel jealous of a female going out with other males, and this can have consequences.

Again it goes back to the L-brain idea of being the first and only sexual partner for the female. If men are not the first, L-brain types tend to feel inadequate or not worthy of the same love if they see a female go out with another male.

Due to the forceful nature of males to get their way (and reinforced behaviourally if women allow it), men tend to reach positions of power in a L-brain society with relative ease. As a result, women are more cautious and reserved around L-brain men.

This explains why in a group of L-brain men how a woman will prefer to wait for "the best looking and fittest" man to approach her (often after a fight by the man with other males to prove he is the strongest). If women are focussed more on the strongest surviving genes, this is usually fine since only the strongest will approach them (unless there is a concern among the males that another more powerful male may be lurking in the wings in which case some of the men may try to find sneaky ways to scoot around the stronger male to achieve their sexual aims with a woman, assuming, of course, she is happy with this approach). Women merely have to sit back, look pretty, tease a little and, accept whichever male partner appears the strongest out of a group of males. And, with a bit of luck, a male that is reasonably good looking. And if that doesn't happen, women are likely to choose their partner., secretly or otherwise. In fact, choosing a partner is especially important in a group of young spontaneous L-brain males with no definite strong leader having the strong physical attributes, and because of the risk of accidents leading to pregnancy taking place with inexperienced L-brain males, in which case it is better for women to choose a male for sex.

Of course, this approach to L-brain sex will only change once enough males learn to think about their actions and consequences, to slow down sexual behaviour, to listen to their partner before, during and after sex, learn different approaches to sex, and take on more biological responsibility and experience when presented with a vagina so that males can control their desire to ejaculate during intercourse (perhaps learning to withdraw the penis prior to ejaculation, or remembering to wear a condom) and let females enjoy more of the sexual experience as males have already learnt (since they are not the ones to carry babies). Then single women will finally be able to feel sexually liberated and choose any male without fear or concern when the time comes to fulfil a sexual needs with the help of a male (without needing to worry about procreation).

When this happens, a new R-brain society will develop.

NOTE: Another general observation is that L-brain males who are likely to be messy at home and leave things in disrepair are more likely to get involved in mishaps or "accidents" during sex leading to situations of unwanted pregnancies. Other males who show great care for their own property and show more thinking skills are likely to listen, have a reasonable amount of experience, and work with a female as a genuine partner and friend to ensure her sexual needs are met and avoid pregnancy.

How L-brain people approach the issue of sex with someone else

When a L-brain person finds someone fitting into this outer "attractiveness" criteria, it is not uncommon for the person to take the initiative by approaching and talking to the person of interest. Well, they are the communicative types, aren't they?

A true L-brain person will be particularly confident about many things in life, not least of which is presumably sex (even if they have to pretend when they are young), to the point where he/she will usually ask straight out to see what the reaction is. Or if the person feels a little nervous (especially in a public place as L-brain types are concerned about what others think about them), he/she may decide to whisper in the ear or pass a note to the person of interest expressing his/her intimate sexual desires.

French women have a reputation for whispering their sexual desires in men's ears. It is possible such women might be described as the L-brain types? Or perhaps French woman are more experienced and tend to be the more balanced types?

For a few L-brain people with even less experience and/or confidence about sex to ask directly (usually the younger ones), they will find the courage to ask for a date.

Whilst on a date, initial conversations usually involve talking about a whole variety of everyday (i.e. innocent) things, but not necessarily the item he/she is really interested in (i.e. sex). Later, as a L-brain person feels more comfortable with the other person, he/she may choose certain words during conversation to suggest the possibility of sex, but are extremely careful to use a double meaning or to be subtle at the very least as this helps the L-brain person work out whether the other person is really interested in sex as well as protecting his/her own self-esteem in case the other person is not sexually inclined.

For example, a L-brain person with a sexual interest in someone else may ask very early in the relationship words to the effect of "Do you have the time?" (a common technique used by women). If the other person looks at his/her watch and says, "Oh yes, the time is a quarter past 4" then this is usually enough of a clue for the L-brain person to think the other person is not yet sexually-inclined or ready to have sex with the person. However, if the other person says, "Hmmm, what did you have in mind?", then this opens the door for the L-brain person to be more direct in his/her intentions and sexual desires.

Similarly, if the conversation heads in the direction of discussing what's it like to try out some sausages and mayo with some eggs on the side (a common technique used by men), then it is possible to tell whether the partner is on the same wavelength.

In general, L-brain people are quick to work out in their minds what they really need or want from sight alone. If they are confident, which they usually are in most situations, and no amount of clever and carefully contrived 'sexual' talking of an indirect nature will do, they will simply ask straight out on the first day what they need or want and then go ahead and do it spontaneously, usually without thinking.

The L-brain types can be somewhat forceful on others when it comes to sex, especially with someone who is young and attractive. Because of this and the fact that many L-brain people tend to act almost impulsively on what they see in a relatively quick and spontaneous manner and, especially if they are young, do not always think about the consequences of their actions, laws have been established in a L-brain society to ensure there is a minimum legal age people can engage in sexual activity. In fact, the law for controlling human sexual behaviour at a certain age only exists because of the actions of certain L-brain people, mostly males, when they seek sex with another person and don't think about their actions until it is too late. (3)

Furthermore, it is also common to find L-brain people having babies by accident when they are in their teens or early twenties.

This L-brain approach to sex is common in the the animal kingdom (insects, reptiles and most mammals). Because of the harshness of the environment with many predators, combined with other complicating factors such as poor reproductive abilities, and the number of females and males available in a given area, animals quickly learn and retain in their genes a specific way of having sex.

Once a seemingly successful solution is found to the problem of sex, there is little time to be thinking about the issue any further due to the vulnerable nature of sexual behaviour in a harsh and unforgiving environment. Males already have enough problems to contend with such as trying to survive long enough to achieve the ultimate purpose of transferring sperms to a female and then afterwards it doesn't matter, and for females to find ways of protecting themselves from predators and find adequate amounts of food to support their growing offspring(s).

For example, if you have a predator that successfully reduces your population with relative ease, sex within your own species can and do take on the form of regular and large-scale group sex, or sex orgies as they are known. Once the decision is made to see group sex as normal, sex performed is essentially L-brain in nature between many different partners (this is an especially common trait for insects) with no variation in the act itself and is often very quick to achieve the goal.

Or some females may evolve the ability to produce many eggs and have them all fertilised at once and later have them released into the environment. A classic example of this is the long lifespans of turtles having significantly delayed reproductive systems. Another is the frog. Both animals take advantage of the large number of fertilised eggs to help maximise the chances for perpetuating the species.

Sometimes sex in the open environment may not be feasible because of the number of predators. Consequently, the sexual act must take place early enough to the point where the males of some species must literally grow and impregnate his "sisters" inside the womb of the mother (e.g. termites). Once the job is done, the males usually die of starvation. This is also common among species where the males cannot serve any other purpose such as protecting the females and/or itself because of the nature of their natural predators.

On other occasions, the availability of food in the environment may be crucial as to how females will evolve within a species and the way uncreative L-brain sex with males is performed. In other words, where food is limited, sex can involve females eating the male partners (e.g. spiders). This again is a natural evolutionary response where in times of famine the males provide a source of valuable nutrients to help keep the female alive long enough until the offspring(s) are fully developed and ready to be released.

In other species, the males may evolve benefits beyond supplying sperms, such as protecting the female from predators. In this situation, eating a male during sex would not be in the interest of the female. Hence the female will make use of these males to protect them during the period of incubation until the offspring(s) are born. This approach is common among mammals.

In reptiles, the ability to protect itself and the offspring(s) can often be achieved by the females. So there is little need for interaction by the males with females except to reproduce.

In other situations, males and females of a species may be few and far between. Where the lifespan of individuals for a particular species is considered short, some species may develop a penis and a vagina on the same body as a backup mechanism to help maintain the genetic code until such time as a partner becomes available. When given a choice, most animals don't rely on this method for creating offspring(s). The preference is to find a partner with sufficiently different genetic material to help maximise the survival of the species.

In other species, the solution can be solved simply by creating a male offspring to act as a mate for the female that produced it if no other male arrives. We see this among certain insects.

The ways to reproduce are quite diverse in the animal kingdom (especially in the insect world). But once a solution is found, the process is relatively quick and straightforward with almost no variation and becomes what psychologists call L-brain in nature.

Fortunately for humans, we have the ability to break free from the shackles of L-brain sex. We can do different things (and so avoid having men eaten by females — a pity perhaps for some dominant women) because we can apply more R-brain skills to the behaviour. We have more time to think about the process more deeply than any other species on Earth.

Generally, where a species is able to survive more easily, perhaps by defending itself better against predators (e.g., building a strong house/nest with fences) and/or there is adequate food supplies, sex can become more R-brain in nature and need to be performed over a short period of time. This is one of the great gifts bestowed to humans after millions of years of evolution.

The R-brain approach to selecting potential sexual partners

R-brain people can use their eyes to seek potential partners, but more often than not will rely on their imagination and strong visualisation skills to initially create the ideal sexual partner in their minds first instead of going out, observing and meeting different people to see what characteristics they would like the most. This means the choice of a suitable sexual partner in the real world can be significantly delayed.

Because of this delayed approach, R-brain people are usually more careful in choosing the right sexual partner of their dreams.

This R-brain approach to sex is usually exhibited by women. (4)

This imagination for creating an ideal partner usually starts young when females have time to think about things, to dream, and be well protected at home with little or no stress or problems to worry about (e.g., fighting predators or competing with the more L-brain types of females, or males for that matter if females want true equality in all things). These females tend to develop strong R-brain skills to help visualise sex and the ideal partner and will often use strong emotions to guide their thinking.

On the other hand, a more balanced-thinking female will use a combination of (or selectively use either of the following depending on the situation):

1. The R-brain side — mainly to imagine some of the character and behavioural traits she would favour in a partner (often acquired from a close relationship with her father and/or other males); as well as various kinds of things she would like to do with her preferred male partner of a sexual nature once she is settled with the one person for the rest of her life. The thinking can also extend to long-term goals to achieve together including the long-term benefits sex can bring to her and her partner, the families and to society as a whole;

2. The L-brain side — the immediate and short-term goals such as general attractiveness and in the practicalities of how to satisfy immediate emotional and physical needs of, say, having to see the partner again, who can provide the food, the need for sex and what to do, etc.) and;

3. The primitive brain — the need to generate the right emotions of love and the corresponding physiological effects on the rest of the body when the feeling of love of an intimate nature is there and helps make it easier for the body to prepare and experience sex.

For example, a balanced-thinking female may initially rely on her L-brain for "attractiveness" in a partner (this may be learnt from being with other males or L-brain females of how they see the world). Once the primitive brain is stimulated by the necessary emotions of love through the L-brain, the R-brain may kick in by painting the bigger picture of what happens when "doing things together" and whether it is important to have children or not etc. All this may be repeated as the female learns more about her partner until such time as she will decide how to bring it all to fruition.

At other times the balanced-thinking female may initially rely on the R-brain first to create an initial picture of an ideal partner in the mind and then, with enough time, eventually observe someone through the L-brain and using the eyes to observe in real life having the same or very similar qualities of the "imagined partner" while considering other useful traits. Then the primitive side of the brain may kick in for the emotion and sexual drive and eventually sex may be experienced.

Whichever approach is taken by females, when all aspects of the L-brain, R-brain and the emotions are satisfied and all the issues have been thought through deeply enough, thoughts of sex will develop in the female mind and this will translate into reality at the right time and place with her preferred partner.

Once a decision is made to have sex after satisfying all these aspects (it probably explains why females are described by men as complicated creatures to understand, and why some men would prefer women to have almost no brains just so they can get into the act of sex with the females with the least amount of hassles), the female may have difficulties to finding someone else once she is settled on the one preferred partner. If necessary, the female can be very patient waiting for the right moment. Or she may take risks in approaching the potential partner to learn more and perhaps make subtle suggestions.

However, if all aspects of what females are looking for, especially by the R-brain types, are not available or accessible within reasonable time (as most women realise they is only so much time to reproduce), they will compromise by choosing to find one male who can at least provide the basic neccessities of food, shelter etc (i.e. someone who is rich) but may choose on the side if the secret moment arrives another partner (i.e. someone who is more attractive and healthy) for L-brain sex in order to provide the genes for her offsprings. Or occasionally the females may simply accept the genes of the male providing the necessities of life but would read romantic novels to help imagine having sex with a more attractive and ideal partner in their minds.

This R-brain approach to sex is not exclusive to females. Males can also learn to develop a similar R-brain approach by relaxing and not having to deal with survival-based issues in life (e.g., not worrying about whether there is enough money to pay the mortgage, there is a stable jobs, adequate food, a stable shelter, no predators, no wars to worry about etc). In general, where there is more time to think about long-term issues, males tend to listen and think. No always about females and what they want to see in their ideal partner, but rather to learn more about working with females and just being more a companion. Soon men become more attentive to the needs of females. More relaxed males with time up their sleeve will also think long-term by being more co-operative, helping others to survive and help them to achieve other goals, and apply simple and effective contraceptive techniques (e.g. facesitting or full/partial withdrawal) where woman who need sex can enjoy the experience of sex to the fullest.

If enough males develop such broad-minded and more imaginative R-brain skills in everything they do, society will undergo a massive sexual revolution where females become the ones who will dominate the bedrooms, be more sexually aggressive, and often be the first to approach (and probably even compete) for single male partners. This is perfectly normal.

In a balanced world, the approach to sex should be roughly equal among each gender. This is the ideal goal we should aim for.

How R-brain people approach the issue of sex with someone else

It may be the case for nearly all L-brain and a number of the more balanced-thinking types that they will, or choose, to apply their L-brain first to the issue of sex in a given situation by observing and then showing immediate action. However, sex for genuinely R-brain people actually starts in the mind (i.e. in the frontal cortex before the information sweeps back to the rest of the brain) together with any previous experiences held in memory, and not usually in the eyes (i.e. visual cortex first followed by immediate muscle action). It is the area of creative exploration for R-brain types before it is ever applied in the real world. As Aveline Rubinshteyn, a female project worker for Sex Worker Outreach Project in Sydney, said:

"If your approach to great sex starts in the mind then it leaves it open to all sorts of areas of exploration." (Taffel 2004, p.5)

It is here in the mind where a R-brain person begins to develop characteristics of the ideal sexual partner.

When a R-brain person does "finally" find the right person in the real world with sufficiently similar characteristics to that of the ideal partner in his/her mind, the R-brain person will usually observe at a distance while he/she contemplates the thought of how to approach the issue of sex with this person, and/or what it would be like to be with the other person when having sex with him/her.

The R-brain person, while working out these intimate issues in the mind, may also follow the person of interest to his/her home and/or place of employment, watching him/her to see what the person does, with whom the person associates with, and so on. Although this may be seen as a form of stalking, the behaviour is actually quite normal and healthy for R-brain people and should not be seen in a negative way.

NOTE: Stalking is actually an illegal behaviour in many countries where it can be shown that the person doing the stalking has the intent to cause harm to the person being stalked. It is also illegal to stalk someone if the person being stalked is aware of it and does not want the behaviour to continue., but yet it persists resulting in a genuine fear of something negative will happen at some point in the future. However, in normal and friendly cases of stalking as we see in R-brain types just to learn more about another individual and while the individual is not aware of it, it is not an illegal behaviour unless the person being stalked becomes aware of it and states it is an unwanted behaviour. That is why R-brain types usually keep the behaviour very quiet so as not to cause harm or surprise. The intent of R-brain types are almost always to learn more and find ways to express the love they have to another person that will, hopefully, be interpreted in a positive way.

When a R-brain person does finally decide to become sexually committed to a particular person in the real world, it is rare for the R-brain person to approach the other person in a direct sense unless he/she has to. Thus R-brain people may be seen by L-brain types as somewhat timid or shy (i.e. the quiet types). Or if a R-brain person does approach someone, he/she will usually do so by making indirect hints or suggestions of their interest without necessarily talking to someone.

To give an example, you may discover how a R-brain person may make herself regularly and suddenly "available" to the other person especially around needy times, wear more revealing and sexy clothing (especially if the R-brain type wants to attract the more L-brain type), tend to gaze her eyes on the person for long periods of time at a distance and then perhaps look away if the other person happens to look in her direction, or perhaps even "accidently" brush past the person using some intimate part of her body such as the breasts, and/or regularly help the person indirectly or directly in other areas of his life as required.

Or at other times, a R-brain person may try to get some of her friends to act as a go-between to learn more about the person of interest. In this way, it may be possible to help the R-brain types to work out how to approach their preferred sexual partner.

Although a R-brain person does not stop another person from approaching him/her, he/she usually prefers to wait for this to happen. When it happens, the R-brain person will usually appear a little nervous, may touch his/her hair, and perhaps even look away while trying to maintain interest and conversation with the other person. All this is perfectly natural for R-brain types.

Because of the shy and reserved nature of these R-brain types, it is not uncommon for genuine R-brain people to regularly touch or give a hug to that someone special in the real world. This may especially occur if the other person approaches the R-brain person and gives an expression of interest, or simply says "Hi, how's things?" Or sometimes the person reaches a milestone and the R-brain person won't hesitate to come up and hug the other person in a genuine and very caring way.

However, if the chosen sexual partner does not respond or approach a R-brain person to ask for something or express a similar interest after a while, it is likely the R-brain person will almost certainly find the courage to communicate his/her needs, usually without words, or ask their friends to encourage the other person to approach and talk with the R-brain person.

In rare circumstances, it is possible for some R-brain people to apply their imagination to such an extent that they learn to believe they are with the person they love in their minds until eventually they become totally devoted to, and almost obsessed with, the person both sexually and non-sexually even if the person at the centre of the R-brain person's affection ends up marrying someone else. This explains why R-brain types are not always L-brain equipped to act upon what they think on the other person in an immediate sense before that persons ends up marrying someone else. This is perhaps their greatest weakness.

Hence they are most likely to keep their distance, be very patient, and perhaps wait for the opportunity (or find the confidence) when the R-brain person can get physically involved with the other person. And this is only if they want to be sexually involved with another person.

When it comes to having sex with young people, R-brain people neither impose their sexual needs on others, nor do they expect to have sex with a "young person".

This reveals one interesting situation. The strong visualisation skills are designed to help R-brain people to imagine sex for all of their lives without necessarily experiencing it if they so wish. Or, if R-brain people do choose to experience sex with someone else, they can use their imagination to see beyond the person they are with. This ensures they will always be careful about how they approach others on the subject, or whether they should get involved with someone else who wants to be sexual in his/her needs, as well as how they sexually get satisfied from the experience. In other words, issues of appearance such as being young and attractive do not have to play an important role for R-brain people when having sex.

Also R-brain people will take appropriate action to ensure certain consequences are not experienced if required (e.g. making babies) because of the extensive thinking skills they have already carried out on the subject and, therefore, know what to do.

Indeed, R-brain types tend to have broader and more altruistic goals for engaging in sexual activity which goes beyond the mere need to make lots of money or fulfil one's own desire for sexual gratification. We see this in Eastern mysticism where sex is understood and practised to the point where such strong R-brain skills can be acquired, such as the Tantra. Maria Martins of Tantrananda School of Tantra, has an example of this Eastern religious approach:

"Tantra has many aims — pleasure, wealth, spiritual inspiration and purpose in life — so it's not only sex. Sexual energy is a power; you can use it. Our aim is to transmute the energy to grow spiritually.

'Trantric sex is very long and very qualitative. You prepare before so you don't aim for orgasm or ejaculation, you meditate on it and then you maintain pleasure for a long time. Tantra's philosophy is that you share the divine attributes through sexuality and other different practices.

'It's not about spontaneity [a L-brain response], it's about control [a R-brain response]. The positions are different, you control your breathing, there are a lot of techniques to control ejaculation. You go beyond the mind. Your sexual energy rises and gives you peace and ecstacy. So you go from the lower level — sex is the lower level of love — to a higher place and then spiritual liberation.

'If people already have great sex, they have more potential to go further, to manifest whatever they want. It's a subtle, healing energy. The pleasure is more refined and intense and there is no guilt because there is spirituality involved." (Taffel 2004, p.5.)

Because of this knowledge and understanding of the consequences of sex and how to control the situation as well as the long-term benefits to be had from the sexual experience, there is virtually no need to establish laws in a R-brain society on setting the age limit for young people to have consensual sex. Thus it is not unusual for young people in a R-brain society to know when they are ready to have sex without worrying about their age being "too young" or face social pressures from L-brain types. When they are ready, they will go ahead and experience sex with someone perhaps of the same age, or more often than not with someone much older than themselves as this helps them to learn sex in a responsible way and to use that knowledge and experience of sex as a tool for effective learning and greater human development rather than worry about making babies.

Among responsible R-brain types, age is considered no barrier to experiencing this intimate moment. And with no social pressure, young R-brain types can decide when to experience the moment.

The moment just before having sex

The clothes worn by L-brain and R-brain types

The purpose of clothes worn by people about to engage in sex is usually to attract and, consequently, evoke a certain sexual response in their sexual partner either immediately or in a delayed fashion. Hence certain types of clothing will have different sexual responses depending on whether people are more L-brain or R-brain in their thinking.

For example, the most common way for a woman to attract a L-brain man is to wear as few, somewhat "revealing" garments as possible to allow the man to see more of the woman and her needs. But not to go completely naked or else the woman will have trouble preparing herself in time if the man feels the need to immediate acts on what he sees.

Thus it would not be unusual for a woman attracting a L-brain man to choose a mini-skirt to help show off her legs and accentuate her buttocks, high-heel shoes to make her legs look longer, and a top that barely covers her breasts.

If, in the rare circumstance, this is not quite enough to attract the L-brain man (he must be very busy), a woman will deliberately (or pretend to accidentally) lift her dress higher (perhaps by bending over slightly) to allow the L-brain man to see more of her legs and possibly her lacy underwear (if any) in order to excite him some more. Fortunately this is not necessary for most L-brain men. In fact, usually the downside to wearing very little clothing to a L-brain man is that the sexual response can be very quick. Perhaps too quick. In which case a woman may need to wear extra clothing to help slow down the process.

If the woman, on the other hand, is described more as a L-brain person and can readily prepare herself for sex quickly enough, it may not be necessary to wear clothes at all for sex to take place with a L-brain man. If clothes are worn, then just prior to having sex with a L-brain man, the lingerie worn by a woman is usually very small and/or almost see-through material as this helps to initiate an immediate sexual response in the L-brain man. And if sex is to take place immediately, the underwear may have a slit to allow sexual intercourse to take place (or the underwear can be easily pushed to one side). Although it is not impossible for a L-brain man to be stimulated by the sight of more solid and larger lingerie or other clothing that covers more of the woman's body, it usually helps the L-brain woman who wants to sexually attract a L-brain man to use her assets, so to speak, in a more revealing way. Use fewer and thinner clothes to help accentuate certain parts of her body. Thus if the lingerie can lift the woman's breasts and make them look larger and in a fine position for a man to admire and touch and with a clear cleavage (to further emphasise the size of her breasts) and/or emphasise her wide hips, long legs and shape of her buttocks, this is usually enough to help a L-brain man become sufficiently interested in having sex with her.

To attract a R-brain man to have sex, on the other hand, wearing less clothes need not be necessary (although it will make the message fairly clear if you do). In fact, the woman does not necessarily have to reveal her naked body or her lingerie underneath her clothes in order to sexually attract a R-brain man. Even a simple long dress covering much of her body would be enough to reveal she is a woman (i.e. the clearly defined mounds of her breasts, the natural "female" shape of her buttocks, her long hair and natural smile) is usually more than enough to get the attention of a R-brain man who may be genuinely interested in experiencing sex with the woman. Otherwise, if the R-brain man is shy or not yet ready to experience sex in the real world for himself, just being there for him, showing simple signs of affection without necessarily going for immediate sexual intercourse, and possibly helping him to achieve certain "non-sexual" goals important in his life is usually more than enough before the man visualises, and eventually experiences, deep and meaningful sex with the woman. Also, a R-brain man will not be perturbed by the sight of a woman walking around naked or wear just her undergarments. In fact, if a woman is not ready for sex, she can be confident that she can walk around wearing the type of clothes she likes, even at close range to the point where she can touch him and she will feel safe with the R-brain man that he will not do anything unless she explicitly wants something from him. This is the other advantage of a R-rain man. He need not have to connect the eyes to his basic physiological responses leading to possible sex. His imagination is powerful enough to see through it all and visualise the scene for what it is — two people being comfortable wearing whatever they like as they work or play together on other things. And if sex should crop up in the conversation, the couple can decide what it is they would like to experience.

The same is true in the reverse gender situation. In other words, to attract a L-brain woman, a man will have a better chance of revealing more of his firm and muscular body and accentuate those specific areas that would naturally attract the attention of the L-brain woman. Thus he might exercise in a gym to help the woman see his muscles working (women who go to gyms tend to prefer seeing men in this way because of their L-brain preference or way of thinking, which is usually strong). Or he will usually wear a tight T-shirt to emphasise his naturally strong pecks and arms, and/or walk along a beach wearing just his speedos or other single piece swim suit so he can reveal more of his assets between his legs (so long as he has the body to pull it off; if not, you might as well forget it as L-brain types really do need to see something attractive). Or, he might just act more natural and wear a simple skintight and/or smooth pair of trousers to accentuate the "male" shape of his buttocks and his strong muscular legs. Just prior to having sex with a L-brain woman, he will normally wear a simple g-string that barely covers his penis as this gives the woman something to look at and imagine as she prepares herself for sex.

To attract a R-brain woman, it is often better for a man to act natural as if he is not interested in having sex with her. Don't try to force the issue on this kind of woman. Wait to see what she does and find out what she is thinking about. Don't assume anything unless she says "Yes". This means wearing simple, but not too revealing clothes that look consistently good to the woman's eyes and yet practical enough not to reveal anything "too sexual". He will do natural (i.e. non-sexual) things either to help her or on his own so she can see what he is up to. It is particularly important for the man to simply help the woman out in her other non-sexual pursuits in her life (e.g. doing the cooking for her, going out on a date with her and having fun in the games parlour or at the cinemas, have a relaxing conversation with her during or after dinner, drive her to where she needs to be, or just sleeping on a couch together, with no expectations of sex whatsoever etc). By doing this, the R-brain woman can develop the picture she needs in her mind. Then she may see the man as a potential sexual partner in her life.

It should be noted that a genuine R-brain woman is usually not afraid of a man who can do these things for her by helping her out so long as it does not mean the man must have immediate sex with her. In fact, it would not be unusual for a R-brain woman to accept the man's offering of help with a kiss or a hug or to ask him out on a date from time-to-time as her way of saying "Thanks", so long as there is no immediate expectation of sex. In other words, the act of helping her out should not have "strings" attached to it. The love should be unconditional and need not have to be of a purely sexual nature.

You should remember, it is important for such a man not to overdo it with his clothing when attracting a R-brain woman. Never try to take off all the clothing to this type of woman the moment you see her in case it might be a turn off (no matter how muscular and fit the guy might look). And anyway, a R-brain woman is more than equipped in her mind to visualise the man reasonably accurately underneath his clothes and in other areas of his life if she wanted to. Her secret x-ray eyes you might say. So there is no real need to make it obvious to the woman what assets the man physically has underneath his clothes.

But if the man should continue to emphasise his naked body and eventually highlight his assets between his legs more than his own character and genuine desire to help her out in other areas, then it is likely to be a turn off for her or at least make her worried that the man is only interested in having immediate sex with her.

It is far better for a man attracting a R-brain woman to just make her feel comfortable with the idea of being with the man while she achieves her non-sexual pursuits perhaps with the help of the man at certain appropriate times. Later, the man may introduce a simple kiss, do some touching on her arms, face and/or hair, and even give her a hug on occasions. And this may be all that is needed to entice the R-brain woman to relax and visualise sex. Then she will be ready to experience sex in a direct sense (i.e. the penis inserted in her vagina) or at least let the man know how she would like to have her sexual needs met without actually having to experience penetration of her vagina with the man's penis if this is what she needs (depending on her understanding of sex).

Or she may allow the man to quite freely and regularly engage in direct sexual penetration with her. It all depends on the circumstances — that is, how accurately she has visualised sex to be, how considerate the man is during sex, and how her body copes with sex in the real world and whether she derives pleasure from the experience.

Understanding the power of clothing in L- and R-brain human sexual behaviour through pictures


If you want to attract R-brain types, just be yourself unless you want to make it absolutely clear what you want from the R-brain types. R-brain types are usually quite happy to see you looking like the one above as they can easily use their imagination to see what they want to see in you. But even if you do wear nothing, R-brain people are just as comfortable seeing you naked as they do seeing you with clothes on. They see you as a person, not as an object of sexual desire unless this is your intention.

Again it is all about the power of imagination.


If you want to attract L-brain types, wearing less clothing is definitely effective. Or alternatively, because many L-brain types are more likely to engage themselves in conflicts with other L-brain types, images of a person wearing a kinky military uniform and/or having the appearance of an aggressive-looking girl like this one can usually attract the more L-brain types.


Showing clothing that is either more revealing or less revealing of your body to help accentuate or hide your sexuality will have roughly the same effect on R-brain types. The person might say, "You have nice clothes on today. Anyway, how's life? Treating you well I hope?". Such a statement clearly shows the power of imagination to avoid the R-brain person being influenced by the clothing of another person. So it won't always make much difference what you wear to attract the R-brain types. But don't despair. If you are trying to use clothes to get a response or behaviour you want because there is an intimate need to be with someone, relax. A R-brain person is always willing to listen and understand your needs and will help you if you genuinely talk and express your feelings. In fact, R-brain people always understand how you feel and the needs you have are perfectly normal and will help you in the end. But never assume that if they help you it is automatically guaranteed they will always be there to fulfil your needs. Unless they choose to be committed to you, R-brain people usually are happy being on their own.

On the other hand, L-brain types are usually more attracted to the person who wears less clothing (i.e. left picture) unless the material worn can accentuate certain parts of the body such as the cleavage between the breasts (i.e. right picture) if the breasts are the things to attract L-brain types to sex, in which case the interest in the female would be more intense. Then the person might say, "Geez, you look hot tonight. Want to go out on a date?", as he thinks in his own mind what he really wants to do to her.


One-piece swimsuits does have the power to attract L-brain types if they can accentuate certain parts of the body (in particular the thighs, the cleavage between the breasts, the thin waist and wide hips and so on). But if women (or men) want a very specific sexual response from L-brain types, less material may be required.

Also if you lie down on the ground instead of standing up, this will usually have a greater sexual significance to L-brain types. To R-brain types, they will assume she is merely tired and needs to lie down. Nothing is ever assumed even if the imagination can suggest many different things. R-brain people would prefer to leave it up to the female to decide what she really wants from the situation.


Opaque clothing can attract L-brain types if it again accentuates certain parts of the body (i.e. right picture). However, a more effective way of attracting L-brain types (and perhaps some R-brain types) is by wearing semi-transparent clothing (i.e. left picture). Again this reduces the need to imagine and hopefully achieve a reasonably quick sexual response from L-brain types.

On the other hand, R-brain types will naturally show a slight delay in their response as they think about the situation they are seeing and quickly assume nothing unusual is happening and, therefore, can imagine the situation as perfectly normal.

For example, if the female in the above picture wanted to sit on top of a R-brain person in the sexiest clothes she could find, he will still use his imagination to imagine all sorts of possible explanations of why it might be happening, especially of a non-sexual nature. A R-brain person never assumes anything. As a typical explanation, the R-brain person is likely to assume the female just wants a comfortable place to sit and the person's body just so happens to be more comfortable at that very moment in time (probably because there is no chair in the room). Indeed, a R-brain person can come up with all sorts of possibilities to avoid seeing the situation too superficial to suggest sex. For instance, he will be happy to talk about all sorts of things, and all the while making sure not to notice anything unusual about the female of a sexual nature in order to avoid and, therefore, control how he might feel should the situation turn out to be not as he had expected. He may even assist the female in suggesting alternative clothes to further enhance her sexiness if this is the aim of showing her clothes to him, such as:

"Nice lingerie! Where did you get it from? Oh, did you know you can get one with a lace design around the edge? I reckon that will really make your buttocks look hotter. And did you know your skin colour is perfect against white, or black for the lingerie?"

Basically anything to make it look like the R-brain person is unaware of the possible sexual signals the female might be trying to show.

And don't always assume that if a R-brain person comes up to the female and touches her slightly that it means sex will take place. For all we know, it is possible the R-brain person is merely brushing off a bit of fluff off her body, or to adjust her bra slightly to make her more attractive. R-brain types will not be afraid of this, although they will ask first especially on the first date or visit. But even after regular visits, a R-brain person will not automatically assume the female wants sex. Perhaps she just wants his general comments on how she looks in her lingerie and nothing more. That's perfectly fine for the R-brain types.

NOTE 1: If the female is more R-brain in her thinking and wants sex, there is no mucking around in such situations. No trying to wear sexy clothing unless she knows this is how she can attract a L-brain type. Otherwise, she will be quick and direct in the right situation to show exactly what she wants. With R-brain types, it is usually with lots of hugs, followed by kissing. And when the R-brain guy understands she has certain needs, he can carefully introduce a plan to ensure the experience is safe and without complications. Then we will respond in kind by asking how she would like to experience the sexual moment. In fact, two R-brain types will do a lot of communication to understand how to meet the needs of each other.

NOTE 2: As mentioned before, if a female in lingerie decides to sit on a R-brain person's face, the R-brain person can still imagine the situation as not sexual if the person chooses. As incredible as this may sound, this is one of the fundamental aims in female domination where men are tied down and women are allowed to try anything with a man, even to the point of sitting on top of him. For R-brain types, being tied down is often not necessary. This is because the R-brain person can imagine the situation in a different way to help avoid a sexual response. Perhaps an opportunity to keep his face warm in the winter time. But things do get difficult and much more difficult to explain away if the female decides to push down and rub her erogenous zone over his face and is coupled by her fingers pushing aside her lingerie to give the R-brain person greater access to this zone. This is usually enough for the R-brain person to assume there is something sexual taking place by the female. And even then, as in femdom domination, the aim may be to control the sexual behaviours of the person lying underneath despite the effort of the female to reach her own sexual satisfaction. How? There are many ways available to a female to achieve this aim.

Or else the R-brain person must use extremely powerful mental imagery, such as the idea of licking vanilla ice cream. And as we all should know, licking ice cream should not cause an erection. So if he succeeds in imagining and preventing a sexual response, you will have one mighty and powerful sexual partner to satisfy the needs of any woman no matter what she does to him.


While the act of lying on the floor, bed or couch can arouse L-brain types, a lifting of the breasts and a slight widening of the legs will usually increase the sexual response from L-brain types.

R-brain types, however, will still choose to pretend that the female merely wants to feel more relaxed. As R-brain types don't take advantage of the situation, they will simply assume this is natural for the woman and think of other things. This is why in a R-brain society women can do virtually anything in the presence of R-brain types, even if extreme sexual behaviours are performed. R-brain types are comfortable about the situation, see it as perfectly normal, and can imagine other things to help control their own behaviours.

Even if the female sits on the face of a R-brain person, it is still possible for the R-brain to control behaviours by assuming a different situation is taking place.

NOTE: In a true R-brain society, it is really up to the female to decide what she really wants from the situation.


If the emphasis to attract someone is not so much on the breasts but rather the buttocks, this position is usually sufficient to do the job for L-brain types.


Or to emphasise both the breasts and buttocks at the same time and so help increase the chances of attracting someone else who relies virtually entirely on sight to be sexually stimulated, use the mirror effect (i.e. right picture), or allow the body to sit in this position at a roughly 45 degree angle (i.e. left picture). The aim is to allow someone else to see as much of the body as possible (both profile and front on) and therefore have a better chance of increasing his/her sexual interest.

The power of appearance on L-brain types

In a predominantly L-brain society, L-brain types are likely to express concerns about the way something is worn by a person, especially if it might conjure up thoughts of sex or lead to themselves expressing behaviours that might be construed as of the sexual kind (e.g. having an erection). For example, if a person chooses to wear and feels comfortable in a very short dress or a pair of shorts that might be tight around the buttocks and revealing a lot of naked leg and some material covering the breasts (yet show a belly button to the public), all hell would probably break loose with L-brain people as they complain about the clothing and how the person should cover up more of her body. Even the current trend to wear stretchy cotton black thin fabric pants that cling tightly to the legs and buttocks can still cause consternation among L-brain types. And if the person added any movements that might further remind people of the way we seek sexual partners, it gets worse.

In a R-brain society, such clothing would never cause offence to anyone. Indeed, it would be seen as an artistic expression of the individual's appearance if the clothes look nice and different, or simply an expression of the freedom for the individual to wear anything knowing the safety the person has in the R-brain society. In fact, if the person wanted to wear nothing, a R-brain society would not be concerned by it. Why? Because R-brain people don't have to focus on the surperficial aspects. They tend to see the person for who they are and understand the intention. And if the intention is not to seek sex, then everyone else will see it in the same way. Not even the movements of the individual should ever evoke sex in the mind if the intention is not to seek sex, but as an artistic expression or something that makes common sense (e.g. the person is clearly bending over to pick up something off the floor).

Need more evidence?

Take for instance the clip that had been shown on Yahoo / Channel 7 web site on 2 June 2010. As the clip showed, the adult females (probably in their thirties) calling themselves the Pole Dancing Angels appeared on prime time television in front of a live and large family audience both in the studio and at home. The women were dancing while showing off their exceptional acrobatic skills. People seem to appreciate it. The female judge saw it for what it was — an artistic expression developed from the art and physical prowess of pole dancing. Great. While one could associate pole dancing with sex, this was not the intention and as such the female judge appreciated it. However, the two male judges also appreciated it, but in a different way. Both were staring at something else well after the act had finished as if trying to say something but couldn't for family reasons. Why? It was clear what the male judges were looking at. And no it wasn't the branding of the clothes the women were wearing. They were looking at the very short and tight shorts the women were wearing revealing the long, well-shaped and naked legs, a clearly defined female shaped muscular buttocks, and a belly button? Did they notice the women had breasts? Apparently so. You can't miss them. But so what? It is clear they were thinking of some kind of sexual thought. Perfectly fine if they wanted to. But why? The women weren't doing anything unusual. Yet it caused a problem for the male judges.

NOTE: In a R-brain society, male judges can stare as much as they like. If they are sexually inclined to think that way, it just shows they had very little sex in their lives, or they haven't gotten over it by now. Perhaps a sex brigade of women should come over to their houses, tie them up and sit on their faces for a good period of time until they are fully satisfied! Then the male judges can get on with life as they should without having thoughts of sex running through their minds every second..

Actually, the following day, when the clip was re-shown on the Yahoo/Channel 7 web site (What for? What makes this clip so unusual that it had to be shown and not the other acts?), some L-brain females wanted to defend the male judges in terms of the importance of covering up the bodies of the female dancers to avoid another similar reaction or in case other males might assume it was a sexual act.

One reader going by the name of Amy commented:

"There's no doubt that these girls are talented, but perhaps some more appropriate clothing would've been all the families out there watching this on TV really want to look at their crotches in their skimpy knickers? I know I don' just made me feel uncomfortable watching this with my children."

Why is it uncomfortable? Clearly the women weren't doing anything to themselves or to anyone else to show they were having sex. If it was for the sake of the children, the question we should be asking is whether the children were actually looking at the crotches and breasts of the women? If so, it is time to explain the birds and the bees to the children now and make sure the sex education is provided for them before they work it out for themselves. And while parents are at it, teach children the power of imagination to see things in a different way. But if not, why impose a personal view on the children? In all probability, the children would not have seen anything remotely relating to sex. The idea that children might assume something sexual in the act is really an adult thinking mentality that is probably not founded in fact or reality. And if in the slightest chance children can understand further into the act of what it represents, start buying a book on sex and give it to the children.

This explains why other readers tried to defend the act by explaining "the intention" was not to create thoughts of sex, but rather emphasise the artistic expression and excellent physical abilities of the acrobatic artists for which these women have displayed. Nothing else should be seen in the act unless for some reason we have allowed our deep seated memory of something else in the scene and with it came a flood of memories and intense feelings of what sex is probably all about. However, just as quickly it should be possible to use the imagination to see it a different way and that should be the end of story.

Our brain is designed to create different images in the mind to help change the way we see something in reality and at the same time change how we feel about something. That is the power of the R-brain when we use it properly.

As Beckie, another person to have understood something of the power of imagination, has said:

"If you did not associate the pole dancing with a strip club but saw this act in a circus that you took your children with you then you would all be amazed with the skill of the acrobats and not think of strippers once. That was mind blowing!"

Come to think of it, one could argue the same way for gymnasts, swimmers and beach volleyball players in the Olympic Games. Why have these women (and probably men too) wear skimpy outfits? If we take the L-brain thinking to its logical conclusion, then we should expect the Olympic Games committee to have banned the wearing of anything that might cause readers to focus on the crotches and perhaps the breasts (if they have any at this level of fitness). Of course, it hasn't happened. Why? Because you cannot hide those natural physical attributes already developed, and at the same time these athletes need to keep the body temperature cool while exercising. Unfortunately for some L-brain people, that means wearing thinner and less clothing.

You really cannot do anything about it.

Does this mean there are parents out there who actually switch off the television to prevent their children watching the Olympic Games? If you are Christian, you might. But everyone else too? Where is everyone's imagination to control these situations and see them in the right context for what they are (i.e., athletes competing)?

And what about ballerina dancers jumping around in the air and spreading their legs? Surely legs spreading apart is an unavoidable aspect of what happens during sex. But so too for the dancing itself. If one were to let L-brain people dominate the thinking and laws of a nation, this move should be banned. Yet people understand the move is entirely an artistic expression.

As another example, in April 2010, a parent recorded on his mobile phone a school dance play showing children aged around 8 or 9 years wearing virtually the same type of clothing as the pole dancers in the previous example. The children were having a great time. And the parents of the kids watching them should have understood this too(and would appear to be the case as no one tried to stop the show). However, it was discovered later that someone had recorded a movie of the show and was later put on YouTube. And that should have been where the story ended were it not for the fact that it caused great angst among other parents (either from the school or elsewhere) seeing the footage online and eventually it became an apparently worthy news item for the Australian Channel 9 television news team because of the fear a peadophile may have been among the audience, or could be promoting paedophilia among certain men on the internet, by having the footage on YouTube. To make it worse for the L-brain types, the children performed certain moves such as bending down and up again that might suggest how an adult female would sexually attract a male. But this is not the case. The bending action is a dance move.

And if that is not clear enough, bending down has been usually accepted as the action people perform in everyday life to pick up something off the ground.

If bending down is such a significant issue for L-brain types, imagine how many men must be feeling right now if they ever tried to bend down to pick up something off the floor. The last thing men want to see are homosexuals looking at them and thinking, "What a nice arse! I wouldn't mind having a crack at him." Fortunately, common sense general prevails in such circumstances. The act of bending down to pick up something has been understood by society since the beginning of time itself (we all do it).

The same should be true of a female bending over to pick up something. It does not matter if the female is wearing a very short skirt to the point where you just happen to notice her underwear as she bends over to pick up something. She could even be naked for all anyone cares and still it would not make any difference. It is still a question of intent. You must assume the intent for her is to pick up something off the floor. Nothing more. The intent should not be for you to go ahead and touch her backside, maybe stick a finger in there and swirl it around, or even to have a pinch of her ass cheeks, In fact, you should not even be sexually aroused by the scene. But if you do get aroused, that's not a problem. It is not your fault. Don't be embarrassed. It is perfectly normal for a L-brain person. So yes, if you are more L-brain in your approach to life, you can potentially say jokingly to yourself, "Hmmm, this sounds like McSex time; I'm loving it already". Or perhaps it is nothing more than a thought like, "Damn, I just got a bit of a stiffy". It doesn't matter really. You are who you are. You can think what you like. The female may have influenced your thinking and feelings slightly. But you can control how you feel and think through your imagination. And if it doesn't work at the time, don't get all upset by it. If your penis happens to go up, that's fine. It is normal. Perhaps the female might notice something when she gets up and turns around and will probably blush a little when she sees what has happened to you. But she will understand and move on (maybe help you a little by being more careful next time or wear more solid clothing covering more of her body if she wants to make it easy for all L-brain males, but even if she doesn't, you have the power to control yourself). Likewise, you will move on and forget what happened, which means your R-brain should tell you of other possible reasons for what actually happened. And the L-brain should choose the one that is the most probable and safest route unless she has provided very clear evidence of her true intentions (for example, she wants to push her butt back and starts to grind it on your crotch, then that is pretty good evidence she is looking for something else). In the majority of cases, however, it is simply to pick up something off the floor, whether she is wearing clothes or not. So see it that way. Simple and innocent really. There is nothing more to read into the situation.

As another example, suppose you are in an aerobics room and using weights during the class. The class finishes, you walk over to put away the weights. You remove the weights from one end of the bar and as you approach the stand that holds various weights, a female suddenly walks or runs almost in front of you and bends over acutely. Yes, you can see how easy it would be to move one of your hands a few inches in front of you (perhaps a little to the side) and virtually touch her bottom assuming your L-brain is telling you her bottom looks attractive based on your memory of what an attractive female butt should look like. Certainly it is not everyday you will get the chance to feel a good-looking female butt. One can be sure it would be nice to find out at least from a male's perspective. However, it is still a question of intent. Of course, you can allow your R-brain to suggest all sorts of imaginative possibilities. Perhaps she might be trying to indicate something else to you? Or maybe she isn't? Or is she playing a certain game: one that may suggest "Yes" but she really means "No"? However, you apply some L-brain skills by being a little more rational. You look at the situation and all the imaginative possibilities you have come up with and you chose the most probable situation, which is that she is putting away the weights. It is clear the larger weights go at the bottom, that is why she has to bend over. Perfectly understandable. Maybe she is not performing the technique correctly and could be straining her back as she carries the weight down instead of squatting. Or maybe there is another reason. Then again, it could easily be nothing unusual about it. So why assume there is anything sexual in the situation? You shouldn't. Of course, it is perfectly fine for you to a"ccidentally" bump into her as you are walking to the point and suddenly she runs in front of you where you may be forced accidentally (or deliberately in a cheeky sense if you want to, but always make sure it looks plausible so she can't assume anything into it) to place your hand on her butt to stop yourself from falling over. No problems. Even if you are naughty in your own mind and wanted to pretend you had trouble avoiding the situation because she came in very quickly and you wanted to place your hand on her butt, fine. No one can prove for sure it was intentional or not. Should your hand just happen to land on her bottom because it is positioned at the right spot to help you balance yourself, that's fine. So long as your intent afterwards is not sexual by quickly apologising to the female (and don't try to move your hand around and do a little squeezing or it will seem a little too obvious what you are doing) so she can see (or assume) it was an accident and how there was nothing you could do about it, then it remains fine. So assume the intent is the same for the female unless she gives clear evidence otherwise. End of story.

Remember, if you had been slightly aroused by the situation with the weights while the attractive woman is bending over, you have two choices: use your imagination to control yourself and see the scene differently and assume nothing unusual has happened; or, if you like the female or find her attractive, then ask. Don't be embarrassed or afraid. It is okay if it happens. Of course, there is nothing stopping you from asking her so long as there is clear evidence to show she is definitely on her own (i.e. there is no guy looking like Captain America or Roger Ramjet with her all the time) and is looking at you fairly regularly (although perhaps your weight lifting technique is not quite right which could be the real reason). Or better still, just do your own thing. Really, there is plenty of fish in the sea as they say. Unless you are so L-brain that the sight is too much and, therefore, have to ask or do anything to attract her attention, okay that's fine. But make sure it is mutually consenting when you do. If she has any intent to show interest in you, it is up to her to decide if this is what she wants. And then she will be a lot more clearer about her true intentions. Never assume too much from a situation no matter how it may look.

Remember, it is all a question of intent.

In the case of the children dancing in the previous example, it has an artistic expression. The intent is to be creative and having a great time in the dancing There is absolutely nothing in the movement that should cause sexual arousal or conjure up images of sex in anyone watching it. If you ever need more evidence, ask did the children see it in any sexual way? If the answer is "No", then the intention is clear. The children were enjoying a dance and were in no way trying to go further with it. All parents who were there must have understood this. If not, we have some serious mind balancing issues to attend to.

It seems more imagination building skills are needed (especially among men), and these need to be linked to our emotions through meditation. Or more femdom situations of training men to use imagination while being tied down is the other solution. These are the best ways of teaching L-brain people to stop relying so much on what they see with their eyes and stop it from instantly evoking a sexual response. It really shouldn't.

If L-brain types are still uncomfortable by this argument, why not focus on the person who published the footage? They should be asking, "Why was it necessary to publish this movie online?" In a R-brain society, it won't matter. Everyone can understand the situation because he can think and we can see a simple explanation of what's happening. But in a L-brain society, the dance itself should have been left at the place where it happened. It never needed to be distributed beyond the confines of the school gymnasium.

As another example, a 33-year-old single mother named Debrahlee Lorenzana was allegedly fired in August 2009 from her job by her Citibank employer in the US on the basis that, according to her claim, she was too attractive and was distracting an unspecified number of male managers. Two managers were singled out as having the biggest problem. According to Ms Lorenzana in court papers, it is alleged:

"Shortly after the commencement of her employment, branch manager Craig Fisher and assistant branch manager Peter Claibourne began articulating inappropriate and sexist comments concerning plaintiff's clothing and appearance.

As a result of her tall stature, coupled with her curvaceous figure, she [was told she] should not wear classic high heeled business shoes as this purportedly drew attention to her body in a manner that was upsetting to her easily distracted male managers."

She made a formal complaint and requested a transfer to another branch. She was transferred in July and later fired on alleged grounds of "disciplinary problems and poor performance".

If a judge discovers the woman's behaviour and work performance was good and no evidence of inappropriate behaviours were shown by other workers not affected by how she looked, this would have to be a problem with the more L-brain male managers, not the woman. The men are there to work in a professional manner as true business people (that is the intention by dressing up in a business suit and going to a place to work professionally) with the aim of helping clients and providing the expected business services as required of their duties. They are not there, and being paid, to make lurid comments about how attractive or sexy someone else might be. Nor should the men have been distracted in any way. Even if the breasts of the woman are right in front of their faces, it should not make the managers think of sex in the environment in which they are in. If necessary, there should be management courses on imagination building to help balance the thinking of the men. Otherwise what would happen if women started making comments about how small the penises were of the male managers? Would the managers be sacked because of this? No. It is likely the women would be sacked.

So why aren't the male managers in her situation sacked?

In the case of Ms Lorenzana, it is clear the male managers were not sacked. The woman was sacked for allegedly doing nothing more than maintaining a high level of good looks while focussing on the task at hand in a professional business environment. The two male managers should have done the same thing. If they couldn't, how about playing a game like placing a bunch of socks in their pants and walk around with a big bulging crotch to show to the woman. Not that you should try this at work in case you get caught, but it would be a funny way to get the message across that the woman doesn't need to go over the top with her appearance. And it can help to test everyone to see if people are focussed on the job. Alternatively, the guys can make an effort to make themselves look more attractive. For example, do more exercises and eat healthy just as the woman has done. But no, the male were more interested in how the woman looked in a work environment. As a consequence, the decision was made to sack the woman from her job because of her looks.

The problem is not her, but in the men themselves.

This can be shown by the fact that there were differences in the way all the males behaved in her presence. In other words, not all men were affected in the same way as the two male managers singled out in the court papers. If it was consistent across all the males, then maybe one could ask how the woman was affecting all the males. Was she deliberately bending over to reveal her lacy underwear to every male in the office? If so, then fine. It would be a matter of changing the behaviour and/or appearance. End of story. But if at least one male was able to work and behave as a normal work colleague in her presence, then how was this possible? Clearly another male can cope. Therefore, she cannot be deliberately trying to do anything of a sexual nature to the male managers or making them uncomfortable. The problem lies with the male managers.

This has to be seen as a classic example of sexual discrimination.

Just before sexual intercourse takes place

Prior to having sex with a L-brain man, a woman will usually have to prepare herself. Preparing is most common with R-brain types.

Thus a R-brain woman will often say she will need to go to the bathroom to make herself feel comfortable. Or she will get into bed first and ask the L-brain man to take off his clothes slowly as she prepares herself underneath the bed sheets and in her own mind.

If she is more a L-brain type, this preparation process is less important as it may take very little effort for her to be ready. Indeed, a kiss or two, a touch of her nipples with the tongue, and a stroke of her pubic hair with the fingers may be enough for the L-brain woman to be ready.

When a woman makes herself feel comfortable and "prepared", especially for the R-brain types, what we mean is not just a change in clothing, but also, in the case of having sex with a L-brain man, to prepare her vagina for sex by touching herself just before revealing her body to the L-brain man. This is important because a L-brain man, as soon as he sees her naked, will almost immediate engage in sexual intercourse. In fact, this is one of the reasons why special clothing such as lingerie have been developed to help get the message across in the bedroom of something intimate is to take place but at the same time ensure the woman is able to prepare as she or her partner slowly takes their clothes off. Or else the other alternative is to make sure the man is willing to perform some form of oral sex on the woman as a means of helping her to be prepared.

An inexperienced L-brain woman wanting to have sex with a R-brain man may discover getting into sex straightaway with the aim of having his penis inside her vagina can be difficult due to the way the man will need to visualise unless she wants to achieve a climax by sitting on top of him and move her hips around. Instead, she may learn. to relax and allow the R-brain man to prepare her for sex (usually orally), or for the woman to prepare the man (e.g. licking his penis to arouse him and provide extra lubrication).

This is an important fact. Women who are about to have sex with R-brain men usually do not need to "prepare" themselves on their own. A R-brain man will more than adequately help her prepare for the moment by doing such simple things as kissing her, giving her regular hugs, and licking her clitoris if she allows herself to experience this from the man. There is no need for immediate sexual intercourse.

If a R-brain man is about to have sex with a L-brain woman, it often helps if the woman can relax and hold back her need for immediate sex and reach her climax as quickly as possible. In this way, the R-brain man can prepare himself by touching her body (such as feeling her breasts and sometimes resting his penis in the crack of her ass cheeks from behind, sometimes allowing her to facesit him etc.) or for the woman to touch him in other ways as she likes without necessarily going straight into sex as this gives the R-brain man time to prepare.

In L-brain woman/R-brain man situations, facesitting is often a very common activity prior to engaging in full intercourse, or perhaps no sexual intercourse at all. In fact, it is not unusual in these relationships for the L-brain woman to learn to feel comfortable releasing her sexual tension and climax on top of the man while he licks her in the place she needs him to be.

The reverse is also true for a R-brain woman having sex with a L-brain man. It is important for a L-brain man to slow down his own experience of sex to help the R-brain woman become properly prepared for sex and thus have a better chance of being completely satisfied from the experience. In some circumstances, setting up the scene in an imaginative way can be a turn on for R-brain women. For example, dressing up as the pizza delivery boy even though the final delivery will definitely not be pizza may end up being more exciting for a R-brain woman to watch and participate and may likely hasten the moment of sex.

What happens if sex is performed by opposite-thinking (i.e. L- and R-brain) types and the same-thinking (L-to-L or R-to-R-brain) types over time?

If sex is performed by opposite-thinking types on a regular basis (i.e. L-brain with R-brain), there is a tendency for people to balance the extremes in L-brain and R-brain sexual behaviour so long as the couples are prepared to learn during the sexual experience.

If, however, the sexual experience occurs among people of the same-thinking types, it tends to amplify the type of sex that occurs from a purely R-brain or L-brain perspective. For example, it is not unusual for L-brain couples to perform increasingly quicker and more spontaneous sex, often in one main sexual position, perhaps in the same or similar room (e.g. bedroom in the home, and a bed in a hotel). The position is usually the missionary position (the best way for both couples to see each other as they experience sex).

Similarly, it would not be unusual for R-brain couples to consistently have slower and increasingly prolonged sexual intercourse (possibly lasting what may seem an impossible two or three hours) and to try as many different sexual positions as possible and can do it all with or without lights (so there is no need to always see each other when having sex just to satisfy their needs).

Some sex therapists describe this form of sex among same-thinking types as running to their own "sexual scripts". As General Practitioner and sex therapist for the Sydney Centre for Sexual and Relationship Therapy Martyn Baker said:

"Sex for most people is an opportunity to share intimacy with someone and have fund doing it. If you place goals and criteria on sex that requires it to be a high-octane [ie. L-brain] experience, I think people [especially the R-brain types] can wind up thinking, "That was disappointing" or "That wasn't great sex".

'Everybody has a sexual script. Over the course of your own personal experiences you find what works for you. Probably the best sexual relationship you can have is with someone whose sexual script and yours are very compatible.

'Often you find out intuitively rather than through good sexual communication. Most people just do it by rote and do it again next time and before they know it they've developed a sex life.

'[But] I think for most couples in relationships great sex is achieved by communicating better." (Taffel 2004, p.5)

True, communication will be the key to handling the opposite thinking types when performing sex. It is the only way for each partner to explore new ideas and try different things so that eventually everyone can balance their thinking and actions and hence see a whole new world of sex (or other activities) in the process.

Remember, sex from a purely L-brain or R-brain perspective is neither right nor wrong. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. In fact, it is not unusual for a L-brain couple to be happily performing sex in a very specific and L-brain kind of way for the rest of their lives (e.g., by following a formula or script of rigorous, hard, fast and extremely vocal sex). Similarly, a R-brain couple can be happy for all their lives performing sex in a totally R-brain and creative kind of way by exploring different options, dressing up in different clothes, trying different sex toys etc, and just taking their time to explore each other.

It seems the only advantage in balancing sexual behaviour is to give your sexual partner and yourself the skills to be properly and consistently satisfied should the situation change and you wish to achieve different goals from the sexual experience. In other words, the act of balancing one's own sexual behaviour over time, if done properly, will result in sex being much more closely attuned to your sexual needs and those of your partner irrespective of time and place. Thus "balanced" sex can be either very quick or very slow, lots of preparation for sex or none at all and so on, depending on the circumstances and what the sexual needs of those engaged in sex are at any given time. And by being balanced, you can always achieve the sexual satisfaction you long for.

But if you find one way that is totally satisfying to you and you don't want to try other ways, that's fine too. You have searched and found a way that satisfies your needs. Communicate this with your partner so that he/she can fulfil those needs everytime.

To talk or not to talk?

The great question on everyone's mind: should we talk, or not? There is no right or wrong way. It depends on what's comfortable to you and your partner.

Looking at the human behaviours during sex generally, it appears that just before there is a lot of shedding of clothing in anticipation for sex or perhaps just prior to actually having sex, L-brain people will love to talk a lot. They will talk about their own feelings about sex and how they observe the person of sexual interest to them. The conversation may also include how they will have sex and what the L-brain person would love to do to the other person or what the L-brain person would love to experience from the other person during this intimate moment. Or L-brain people may ask their partner what they are thinking after having sex (perhaps looking for a reassuring word that she is still attractive and will stay with her). In rare circumstances where L-brain people do not need words, spontaneous sex usually occurs and can be very quick and physically demanding.

For R-brain people, talking is not always necessary or a prerequisite for sex. Simply being there for a R-brain person and perhaps touching his/her hands and face is usually more important for the person than anything else. This touching can involve a long period of kissing. Later, as R-brain people feel increasingly more confident and relaxed with their sexual partner, do they allow for the other person to touch their intimate areas. When the act of having sex in the physical sense does finally arrive, it is usually prolonged and extremely emotional.

During sex

The consequences of sex

Sex with a L-brain person is usually spontaneous and quick. For young and/or inexperienced L-brain types, it means there is little time to think about the consequences of sex other than to reach for orgasm as quickly as possible. Unplanned pregnancies are, therefore, quite common among this group of people.

Genuine R-brain people, on the other hand, do understand the importance of sex and all its consequences. Sex is not a mystery to them, nor is it a competition to see who comes first, scream the loudest etc. In fact, R-brain people have gone to such considerable lengths to understand the issue so deeply that it can often go well beyond the mere procreation purposes or simply meeting one's own sexual needs. In other words, R-brain types have ways to ensure certain consequences of sex need not have to be experienced if required (such as making babies), or to seek ways to enhance other consequences (such as reinforcing good behaviour and increasing one emotional and intellectual development). All this is natural for the R-brain person.

So we should not be surprised if making babies is not the priority for R-brain people when having sex with someone. Also, R-brain people are usually considerate enough to protect themselves and/or their partner (especially when sex is with L-brain types) to ensure the pleasures and long-term emotional benefits of sex are the only things needed to be experienced if this is the aim of sex. (5)

Such an in-depth understanding shown by R-brain people towards the experience is based on the belief that sex is a means of achieving certain goals in life. When they are ready to experience sex, R-brain people know whether the goal of sex is to procreate or simply as a means of pleasuring someone and helping them to emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually develop as a human being. Therefore, R-brain people will take appropriate action to ensure the goals are met.

When R-brain people are ready to experience sex, they usually have no need for words to express their own sexual desires. Instead, they usually make it clear of their intentions through body language either in a subtle way at a distance (e.g. looking, dancing and touching themselves such as their hair), or in a more direct means at very close range (e.g. kissing and caressing another person). But the critical thing for R-brain people is the fact that they go to great lengths to think about things and prepare themselves before the moment comes, so they know what to do under the circumstances and will go ahead and achieve it. And even during sex the thinking may continue just to ensure sex is sufficiently well-planned (but can be very creative within the "plan" when trying different things), especially if natural protection is being considered, emotionally intense, and properly understood as a powerful instrument that goes beyond merely making babies. Sex has the power to transform society in a way we have never seen before if done with care and with great thought of the long-term benefits.

The speed of sex

As alluded to earlier, during sex we know that L-brain people are more likely to be quick and direct. This is mainly because L-brain sex is more about meeting one's own needs (i.e. the climax) without necessarily worrying about the other person (the other person is assumed to be enjoying it, or can find ways to ensure this is the case we hope). It is more an individualistic concept when it comes to L-brain sex.

Men often think this way, especially at a young and inexperienced age (or those who don't experience sex regularly or encounter a new sexual partner). You will often see this by the way men are more likely to commence sex quickly (i.e. as soon as he has an erection, he will understandably be eager to insert his penis into his partner's vagina for the immediate sense of security, ownership, recalling the experience and/or developing the positive emotions he needs) and engage in rapid-fire sexual intercourse (sometimes looking at a distance more like the couple is fighting each other rather than making love) from beginning to end over a short period of time (usually lasting between 30 seconds and 10 minutes, more commonly the former).

On the other hand, R-brain people are more likely to take considerable amounts of time having sex as well as ensuring their partner's needs are fully met and are happy before fulfilling their own needs. It is more a socialistic concept when it comes to R-brain sex.

NOTE 1: The speed of sex for L-brain people with the same partner often slows down over time as the L-brain types gain experience of what it feels to have a particular penis or vagina of a partner for sex on a regular basis and learn to explore different ways of having sex. And it isn't entirely because the couples are getting too old for quick and energetic sex. Rather there is a likelihood of L-brain behaviours becoming more balanced or may experience the more R-brain world of human sexual behaviour. Once balance is achieved, people can often achieve what is known as a form of spiritual sex.

NOTE 2: L-brain men who don't get experience from or have insufficient opportunities to try creative sex with women are more likely to develop strong L-brain behaviours, often reinforced by the type of sex these men are familiar with or come to expect in their mind. If the behaviours are extreme the L-brain men could, in some cases, lead to acts of groping with women in public places to more serious cases of rape. In the worse case scenario, strongly L-brain men could resort to violence as a way of getting what they need or want through a change in their environment. Examples of this can be found in most Western nations relying heavily on L-brain skills including Japan. In fact, in this country, it is not unusual to find bars for Japanese men where the only women allowed are young waiters wearing nothing from the waist down so that men can observe and sometimes ask the waiters to give them a "closer look" and "touch" from certain angles. Can women do the same? It is not unusual for strongly L-brain women to follow a similar trend. Although it is extremely rare for women to use violence against men to obtain sex, the usual method would be as we see in places like in Texas, USA, where L-brain female executives with little time for socialising outside of work will join an exclusive club for women and the only men allowed are those chosen and able to provide intimate services for the women (either in groups or one-on-one situations in private rooms). But there is one area where a form of hardship can be imposed to men by L-brain women. We call this female domination (or femdom, for short)..

Does size matter?

There is a tendency for L-brain people to believe that more is better (or size does matter). This is usually translated into sex as having a preference for those particular sexual partners possessing a larger and/or longer penis (or instead using a hand to perform the act of "fisting" if things get really desperate) as far as certain L-brain women's needs might be concerned; or having excessively bigger breasts, unusually large nipples and areolas, larger thighs (but preferably with a thin waist because it gives the impression to L-brain people that the woman might still be a virgin or at least has not produced a baby in the past with someone else) and so on when it comes to satisfying the sexual needs of L-brain men. They feel this issue of just size in the here-and-now moment is what makes for great sex.

## UPDATE ##
May 2004

The overemphasis in extreme size in genitalia and various other things when it comes to sex is particularly of great interest to men. For example, it is rare to find nowadays male underwear sold in sizes of "very small", "small", "medium", to "normal". Instead men prefer to find underwear showing sizes of either "Large", "Extra Large (XL)", "Extra Extra Large (XXL)", "Ludicrously Large" and so on. In that way, the men's egos are boosted, or so they think, when they know they can buy the XL or XXL sizes for their underwear. The same is true of L-brain women except the underwear would normally be described as "medium", "small", "very small", "almost microscopic" and so on. Why? Because these women are usually self-conscious of their appearance and want to be seen as thin and/or small in size. In this way, they can give the impression to the opposite sex that they are still attractive and potentially a virgin and, therefore, capable of having sex at the right time.

Many pornographic magazines and internet sites of "westernised" countries (i.e. so-called developed, or overly-developed as the case may be, nations such as Germany, USA, Australia and other L-brain dominant societies) have an extraordinary obsession for extreme size in genitalia and other erotic parts of the body (or will choose women who are small enough in stature and thinness but having just big enough breasts so they can look like they have "bigger than normal" sexual features during sex as well as make the men look larger than usual when they are performing sex with these women).

Women are chosen to have almost abnormally large breasts, large buttocks, and even a large vagina (as indicated by some gruesome pictures of a person's hand or arm being inserted inside a woman's vagina, or more rarely a watermelon is used instead, or a special suction cup is used to enlarge it). As for the men, they are chosen either because they have a genetic abnormality that makes for an overly large penis (e.g. some black men, as if some women want their men to be hung like a donkey), or they use those vacuum pumps to make their penis look unnaturally larger than normal. Whatever the case, L-brain people seem to have a fascination for watching someone having sex with a "tree trunk" for a penis so to speak as if this is how things should be when in reality most people are not built like that (nor do every woman appreciate having sex with a "tree trunk"). (6)

On the other hand, R-brain people don't expect men to be hung like a donkey between the legs or women to have breasts the size of two large pillows for resting another person's head on just to enjoy sex. People need to get real for a moment. Kissing, touching (e.g. a gentle rhythmic pressure on the clitoris using the fingers, tongue or nose and/or moving a wet tongue over the folds of the vagina and occasionally teasing inside), some communication, looking into each other's eyes and other natural human behaviour is considered more important to this group of people. Why? Becomes it reveals a greater sense of love in their minds.

And anyway, the physical size of the genatalia does not guarantee the best sex.

What turns R-brain people on is the ability to touch someone else in the right way to help trigger the right picture in the mind and with it the right sexual response over a long period of time and with great emotion.

This is why women, generally considered to be more R-brain in their thinking, are happy to reach orgasms through simple oral stimulation of the clitoris while visualising sex rather than being overwhelmed by a massive penis penetrating a vagina.

Hence it is not unusual for R-brain women to enjoy more facesitting or other forms of oral sex. The penis is just an optional extra which she may choose to experience, but is not a necessity.

Even if sexual intercourse does occur with R-brain people where penetration is performed with a man's penis, size is still not seen as the most important issue for R-brain types. Rather it is how you use those assets and the rest of the body to bring pleasure which is more important. And anyway, if a R-brain person really wanted to experience the "fullness sensation" of having a large penis at a crucial time, all the person has to do is use her vagina to stimulate the man's penis until it reaches a certain size and then by squeezing the base of the penis through the tight ring of a woman's vagina, a R-brain person can maintain a satisfactory size for long periods of time (i.e. using the natural vacuum effect generated by the vagina and penis).

To R-brain people, it really doesn't matter if you are built like a "tree trunk" or have a normal penis. It is what you can do with it and the rest of the body and mind to achieve pleasure for someone else which is considered the important thing.

As a further example of the L-brain nature of pornographic materials in L-brain society, the advertising on the video covers and the scenes themselves tend to show women and men completely naked (and usually without evidence of any clothes shedding) with sex taking place immediately and traditionally with the usual penetration of the penis into the vagina as well as close-up camera shots to "see the action". This is understandable if the aim is to allow a L-brain person to see "everything" in detail in order to initiate a quick behavioural response of a sexual nature. But when R-brain sex is applied, seeing all the details is not always needed. Indeed R-brain sex tends to be less staged for the camera and more voyeuristic while watching what appears to be a more natural setting where females can choose whether or not to wear clothes and how they wish to be sexually stimulated. For example, it is possible to have a scene where a guy is tied to a bench inside a female change room. A bunch of females are allowed total freedom to run amuck with the guy in any sexual way. Females may choose to take turns entering the room, or a group of females may come in. The guy could still be wearing some clothes. One female may be more shy and prefers the security of her dress to remain on her body. And she may choose to sit on his face. But she doesn't have to take her clothes off to "let everyone see her all of the time". Perhaps initially when she settles herself on top of him. This might be a moment where you see her underwear, or without it. But then, after settling down, she may choose not to keep her dress up but let it ride down the front to cover herself. Perhaps her buttocks and side of her legs might show to gain a slightly more L-brain response. But it is not always necessary. And if the aim of the porn is for each female to achieve climax, then from a R-brain perspective, the simple movement of the female's hip to rub herself all over his face and the fact she is sitting on his face is sufficient evidence of "sex" taking place. R-brain people can imagine what is happening at such close range contact. Perhaps occasionally to activate the L-brain, another female may come in to lift the dress to see how the guy is coping. This may reveal more to the eye. Or the female on top may decide to life her dress to see what is happening.

This kind of scene tends to evoke more imagination where the situation is already clear something must be taking place, but it is not necessary to see all the details. The kinkiness of the various different aspects (e.g. clothing etc) and using the imagination is usually enough to sexually stimulate R-brain people.

Even when it is probably obvious actual penetration with the guy's penis is performed, it need not always be necessary to show the detail mechanics of what is going on. Once the penis disappears in the vagina it doesn't really matter, The audience can imagine and fill in the gaps and still achieve a sexual response if the audience chooses. Or it can be seen as a girl just sitting on top of a guy and that's it. It all depends on the R-brain person to decide how he/she wishes to see the situation at that moment in time.

And why every female having sex? In the example of the female change room and one guy, one's imagination would expect some not to participate in the sexual act with the guy. Some females might just ignore what's happening, getting their clothes changed as usual, even having a shower, drying themselves, getting dressed and walk out. Whereas other females may choose to have a sweaty exercise session, walk in to the change room and choose to sit on the guy to give him something to think about. Other females may choose to shower and them come in to do what they like on the guy. Females need not have to look like models, but can still be considered "attractive enough" for L-brain types. Yet the sex can be more R-brain. So the age of the females do not have to fit the "young" stereotype all the time. And not everyone has to be completely naked if they choose not to. Everything will be more natural even if the sex scene itself may seem improbable in reality.

NOTE: There is a push to combine some elements of an imaginative storyline, some sexual fetishes and giving women more control in order to satisfy R-brain types as well as graphic "L-brain satisfying" images of full-on sex lasting more than 5 minutes.

For R-brain people, the reverse tends to be true. In other words, they believe less is more. This means that R-brain people do not necessarily emphasise the importance of an exceptionally large and/or long penis, or having extremely large breasts or extraordinarily big vaginas to overwhelm men during sex. Rather it is what you do before sex, how you use your body and mind during sex to achieve certain goals for everyone concerned, what happens after sex, and how sex is implemented to increase the positive benefits of learning in human development over the long-term which is considered far more important to R-brain types.

Should adult material depicting sex scenes be classified under certain categories (i.e. R, X, XX, XXX etc)?

In a R-brain society, classifications are considered unnecessary and even a waste of time. If R-brain people wanted to see sex in any situation, they can do so using their imagination to evoke any level of sexual response in themselves. Even if a sex scene in a video or magazine may be classified as R-rated in a L-brain society because of the kind of sexual response it would evoke in L-brain people watching this material (i.e. probably an erection in the pants, hardened nipples showing through a dress, a wet patch between the legs etc), any R-brain person can see through it all with his/her mind. Hence the R-brain person can choose to see the sex scene as X-rated. Or, if a R-brain person is not thinking about sex but just two people hugging each other (even naked), the original material could be classified as Adults Only (AO), Mature Audience (MA), or even General (G).

Classifications are only useful for L-brain people who need to know precisely what they are going to see in certain adult material before actually seeing it because of the level of immediate emotional and sexual response in L-brain people. Because the last thing you want to do is embarress L-brain people in social situations if they get caught having a "hard on" by someone else, now would you?

Seriously, the classification is purely to help prepare L-brain people for the expected behavioural response of watching two people hugging each other depending on how intimate the hugging becomes. If it doesn't cause any blood rush to certain intimate parts of the body, then two people hugging each other may be automatically classified by L-brain people as MA, AO or possibly G. But if the scene causes erections and so on (possibly because of the positions and/or motions of the couples and possibly the likelihood of seeing graphic details of a penis penetrating a vagina, this will evoke a different and more intimate sexual response in L-brain people and as such the material will have to be classified for L-brain types as R, X, XX or XXX depending on the level of detail shown.

Generally the more a society requires classifications to be imposed on films to help restrict its viewing or access to the public, the more likely society will be described as L-brain. Where the society is more sexually-liberated and free to show such material to the public, the more R-brain the society is likely to be.

NOTE: People who currently do the work of classifying films and other information are usually of the older L-brain types. Thus do not be surprised if you find these people raising concerns for the most trivial matters like a mother breast feeding her baby (7) in a television commercial or in public, or to reduce or even eliminate the number of lingerie catalogues in the mailboxes of people's homes, or the number of seconds permitted on television advertisements to show women or men wearing "sexy" underwear or bras. Most older L-brain types prefer not to look at sex at all or anything that might be vaguely associated with sex in public places and perhaps even at home unless it is absolutely required (e.g. to procreate), and only then would they try every conceivable excuse in the book to put an X rating on it or avoid having to look at it by saying things like "I've got a headache!", "This is not in the Bible I am reading", or "I really like to solve this crossword puzzle if I may please" if they can.

If this is the concern for L-brain types, why not be consistent by restricting all violent films in a similar manner (including what we see in the news)? As Western nations currently have it, the worse kinds of horror films are not likely to get a rating higher than MA15+. And war movies with pure blood and gore can attract the same rating (i.e. young teenagers and possibly children can still sneak in and watch). Yet a single and highly relevant sex scene in a story (and certainly not one to take up the entire film's duration) say held in a darkened hotel room and therefore not able to show any graphic details except to vaguely see two or three people heaving back and forth into each other as they perform apparent sex (more likely to be simulated sex) or just simply showing the love of two people for each other can still attract an R rating or higher? And if you do actually see a clear shot of naked breasts and perhaps the rest of the bodies under bright lights in action, it would receive an X rating or higher!

If we were to follow this logic, then surely a shot in the dark leading to the death of a character in a movie showing at most a body lying on a ground should attract an R rating. Any more gruesome details of the dead body up close, possibly dismembered or head blown off (e.g. the science fiction film from the US called Starship Troopers), should receive the equivalent of an X or XXX rating.

So why the discrepancy in classifications?

As journalist Alexa Moses said:

"How is it that characters having sex, which is so often about love, pleasure and intimacy, make us so willing to toss R and X ratings about, while we tolerate characters maiming, torturing and decapitating each other as a normal part of mass entertainment?" (Moses, Alexa. Plot's lost when horror wins out: The Sydney Morning Herald. 16-17 July 2005, p.35.)

If anything, people should see less violence and be encouraged to see more thoughtful love on the screen to reverse the trend of more and more young male "L-brain" people becoming violent because of video games, movies and the news. If a choice should be made, sex should be emphasised more than violence, especially of the R-brain form as this brings greater positive benefits to society rather than images of people getting killed. And it doesn't matter if people see a penis and vagina. What makes humans more special than any other living thing in the animal kingdom that we must feel uncomfortable about showing it?

Just walking down the paddocks in the countryside will reveal the sight of horses and cows with penises and vaginas hanging out. You may even see the occasional bonk take place. Is this really a major issue for society to see? Or will L-brain people be vouching for animals to wear nappies to cover their intimate regions?

## UPDATE ##

To give an indication of how L-brain people can get when it comes to sex, the publication and release of the first Playboy magazine in Indonesia caused uproar among older L-brain men, especially of the religious Islamic types. Why? Because they can somehow automatically see sex in the photographs of the Indonesian woman published in the magazine. Consequently law enforcement officers had to interrogate and frighten a young woman named Kartika Gunawan after posing tastefully in the magazine. Well, let's put it this way: she is definitely not trying to push aside her garments or lingerie and finger herself. She looks nothing more than a woman in nice makeup wearing lingerie that clearly covers all the essential areas (it should not arouse any sexual response in L-brain types when observed unless they are specifically thinking about sex, in which case use the imagination to see it differently). Yet we get the impression some L-brain people in Indonesia don't have the imagination to see Ms Gunawan as a pretty women wearing simple clothing and hence see the art of the picture. Why should Indonesian L-brain men get upset? Or are they not thinking as they should? To be upset is basically saying you can see images of sex (e.g. erect nipples and a moist vagina) when clearly this is not displayed in the photographs.

Even if the young Indonesian woman had sat on the naked chest of a male and simply posed to the camera, it should still not evoke any sexual image whatsoever. Our imagination should tell us she is simply looking for a chair to sit on but none were available. So a male was happy to be the human chair himself for her. Yet it does not imply sex is taking place. Otherwise pictures of a naked baby sitting or lying on top of a male would have to evoke the same sexual response, which we know it is untrue.

Most importantly, Ms Gunawan has chosen on her own accord to pose for the magazine. No pressure whatsoever on her part to do anything she does not want to do.

And she definitely does not feel degraded by the experience as Christians are likely to make the interpretation just by looking at the pictures. For example, in the publication titled The Problem with Pornography: A DVD resource for young men of independent and christian colleges, addressing the issue of pornography and its impact by the christian-based Choicez Media Pty Ltd (2006) written by married couple Jonathan E. (a Master's Degree in Leadership and Management in Education and a Masters in Theology (Marriage and Family Studies)) and Karen (a registered nurse and author) Doyle, it stated:

"[The media]...commonly portray women in a sexualised, animalistic and degrading way and convey the message that to have any worth you must be sexually aggressive and highly sexually active." (p.14)

There is no indication of this Christian-based view in the the young Indonesian women. She has not indicated feelings of being degraded by posing in front of the camera (it requires other people to make her feel degraded, which she was not by the people professionally taking the pictures). The only sexualisation ever made of the images were those Indonesian L-brain men (and possibly Christians in Western nations) who are not able to apply their own R-brain skills to see a different situation (i.e. the art of the picture), not the sex.

There is no sex, there is just a beautiful woman. And with or without the posing, she still remains a beautiful and worthy human being just like everyone else.

You see, the R-brain is your tool to filtering the images you are shown. You can be shown a bunch of words strung together to form a picture and if you don't believe in the picture, you can always say to yourself I disagree with these words and the picture formed by them by visualising another picture and a different set of words to describe it. Likewise, it you are not shown words but an image you may be more easily accepting of the image especially if you are tired after a long day at work and want to passively sit there and look at something because it is sitting there in front of you. But you can still think and use your imagination to say this picture is not real or doesn't show what others are seeing.

You are the one in control of your mind, not the outside world controlling you. You can decide whether or not to accept the picture and how it should be interpreted. Your imagination can determine this very easily. And this means to think in a R-brain way in order to see a different picture. And soon as you see a different picture, your behavioural response will be different. And no longer will you assume sex is inherent in the picture.

If there is enough R-brain development in certain rational societies in the world, no picture of this sort should ever cause offense to anyone and no "erections" taking place among L-brain males. It should be seen as a form of art.

And as a real test of a person's R-brain abilities, it shouldn't even matter if a picture does show more intimate details or people engaging in sex. So what? Should it arouse sexual excitement in anyone? Does the image of a vagina or naked breast has to cause problems for L-brain people seeing these images? No, it shouldn't. Again the R-brain should tell you a different story. For example, we have all seen other animals having sex. Is it really that odd or extraordinary? And when humans are having sex, it should tell you people are making love; the mechanics of sex should not come into the picture if you see it as a form of love.

As for the people themselves, they are expressing love and are not afraid to show it to the world. Those who watch are happy to celebrate and admire those who are loved.

For anyone who thinks these pictures will create social problems, what about the killing and violence that takes place on the streets? The latter is of greater concern, more so than people having sex or showing their naked or partially naked bodies to the world. Really, we have to take some fresh perspective on this.

If images of a woman posing in front of a camera or even showing acts of sex is such a big deal to certain L-brain types, it is probably because the people concerned do not love everyone else as they should, have chosen to restrict their experiences in the area and hope others would do the same to avoid seeing something to stop a certain response, and so have probably created their own relationship problems and ultimately affected society in ways that is leading to world problems (e.g. violence). Or they simply have not developed a sufficient R-brain approach to life. Instead they continue to apply their L-brain behaviours to segregate and treat people negatively instead of showing equality and love to everyone in a more balanced sense through application of the R-brain as they should.

Because of the L-brain restriction on sex and the laws created to enforce it, it is not surprising to find males (and some females too) secretly and quietly watching sexually revealing pictures and videos especially if the poor treatment continues until we all learn to see each other as emotional human beings in need of love and need the affirmation that love exists through the images they see of others in magazines or elsewhere.

Then, through love, we learn to balance ourselves.

For a more extreme nature in the way L-brain men can get themselves into when it comes to sex and the female body because of a lack of R-brain development, just have a read of this article.

As you can see, there are men in the world who erroneously equate semi-naked women to starting earthquakes. Maybe the muslim religious leaders are thinking these women are the equivalent to the devil (or opposite to God). As they say, "The devil wears Prada". Or sounds like an indication of just how much time males have congregated with other males — obviously for too long — to the point where their brains have become too sensitised by the sight of a female showing just an inch of naked skin or the well-defined curves of a female body fearing a mountain-sized erection will occur. For goodness sake, these men are in need of some imagination rebuilding in their lives just to become more balanced.

Seriously, forget about Iran or other muslim countries getting attacked by missiles from a Western country. Places like Israel and the US would have greater success sending in 100,000 naked women soldiers to form a massive nudist camp right in the middle of a muslim city and the L-brain muslim men will drop dead like flies from the ecstasy and subsequent earthquake. Better still, send over military aircraft over the country and drop down tons of soft and hard-core porn magazines and the L-brain men will be forced to see glimpses of naked women all over the place. Then a big enough earthquake should change the face of the muslim country.

Really, if a war should ever begin between muslim and Western nations, you can be sure the war will end just as quickly as you have started simply by throwing enough pictures of naked women into a muslim state. And probably Western nations might even fall apart from the shear laughter after doing it too.

As a result of this religious approach to having women covered up completely as a way of "protecting" men from experiencing certain sexual behaviours if they somehow observe a woman not wearing a massive veil is how the men, after a while, discover the need to seek sexual gratification from young boys.

As another example, in northern India, it has been reported that an unusually high number of female foetuses are killed known as selective abortion (or female feticides) in preference for having male babies born in an Indian family. Why? Because of money. You see, the family of the groom can take advantage of a traditional religious view that the bride's family has to pay lots of money to the other family because girls are seen as commodities and not able to achieve anything useful in society (other than producing more male babies and giving lots of money to the groom's family). Even the act of burning a dead body in India can only be performed by a man. No female can be present to perform this act.

However, as the deficit in the number of girls falls below a safe and balanced level, the excess number of males start to wonder why they are having trouble finding females. Then the males have to resort to kidnapping of the remaining girls to sell them to families whose sons need to be married in a form of coerced marriages, or end up in prostitution. It is either that, or men must rely on young boys.

Over time, the excess number of men soon find themselves stuck in a rut in terms of their thinking and ideas of other men following certain L-brain behaviours and old ideas known as tradition. Soon the men lose the benefit of the human touch and more balanced thinking from the girls, as well as how to learn to co-operate with one another rather than compete. Soon the men follow their own usual behaviours leading to a reduction in the amount of other resources (and not just girls). Food supplies are no longer reliable. Men start to fight one another. Wars between nations are fought as the only solution, which is to reduce the numbers of men in order to bring back some balance.

And all because men must follow certain religious traditions or old beliefs because it has always been that way for centuries, as well as the profit one can obtain from the families' daughters is pushing people to think this is how to survive and get rich.

No wonder we live in a strange world. Some people's thinking needs to be more balanced. And the only way to achieve this is by getting everyone to undertake better education.

## UPDATE ##
26-27 May 2007

Adele Horin reported in The Sydney Morning Herald how cyber porn is believed to be causing relationship breakdowns and in some cases divorce. In one quote, research fellow in gender studies at La Trobe University named Michael Flood said:

"This is not about couples going to the porn store to spice up their sex lives. Men in growing numbers are using porn in ways that are secret, shameful and damaging. It is having a damaging impact on intimacy and sexuality." (Horin, Adele. How cyber porn is wrecking relationships: The Sydney Morning Herald. 26-27 May 2007, p.25 (pp.25-26.).)

Flood wrote a report in 2003 explaining his findings, titled Youth and Pornography.

This may well be true. The ones who are most likely to experience these relationship breakdowns are those described as L-brain types. You see, as we grow older, the L-brain tends to identify which individual(s) tend to look more physically attractive. So if a person relies too heavily on the L-brain to behave and sees others as more attractive, your relationship with the L-brain person is likely to falter and you will feel alone and long for that moment of love and affection you had when you were younger. It is the way the L-brain has makes comparisons in how you compare to other people in the eyes of the L-brain person. That's the greatest weakness of the L-brain. The L-brain will see these differences and remember them. And the differences may not be interpreted as something to stimulate the sexual behaviours of L-brain types with their own partners. Rather, the L-brain types may see the attractiveness in other people more than you.

For R-brain types, this is not an issue. Sex can be performed at any age with anyone no matter how we look. Yet for the L-brain types, how we look is considered more critical to determining how sexually satisfied we are.

And how is this solved?

Naturally for L-brain men (and probably some women too), they will use internet pornography as a tool to help them find the love they are missing, or to get new ideas of how to stimulate the mind to visualise sex instead of relying on the eyes for sex. And, in fact, the latter approach tend to be the solution for L-brain types looking to rekindle sex with their life-long partners.

Where the problem lies is when internet pornography is used to find another "secret" sexual partner without telling one's own partner about it. Among R-brain types, it doesn't matter. In fact, R-brain types with their indepth understanding of L-brain types will do more to be creative and open-minded to various approaches in order to retain their preferred partner. It is natural. Humans with their L-brain are not exactly designed to be monogamous creatures. But with practice and through visualisation skills and ways to set up the environment to make the sight of a partner look different and sexually appealing can potentially teach humans to be monogamous. But until that happens, it is difficult for L-brain people to maintain sexual commitment to each over a long period of time. As a result, should the relationship consist of two L-brain people, the L-brain person who sees his/her L-brain partner going out with another partner will have a tendency of jealousy and feelings of hurt because they think they are not deserving of the same love. When this happens, it is time to be honest and upfront about the reasons for accessing pornography and ultimately another partner.

There is nothing wrong with pornography if there is communication with your partner about it and you are both willing to learn and seek new ways to improve the sex life from it. Perhaps a L-brain male partner wants a little creativity by trying a different form of sex that involves, for example, a L-brain women sitting on top of his face, wearing all kinds of sexy underwear or lingerie. To a L-brain woman, this might seem degrading or embarressing. But it really isn't at all. It is natural for men to experience this. And if anything, it teaches the brain of males to control their behaviours to the point where they are relaxed and should not be perturbed by the experience. This is actually a good thing for females who want to experience sex but not the unintended consequences of sex such as pregnancy. Or perhaps a L-brain woman may want to try having her partner lick her clitoris instead of engaging in direct sexual intercourse throughout the entire sexual experience. Not a problem at all. But to know if it is normal for some couples to do it or to get some inspiration or ideas, pornography can be a way to extend the range of human sexual behaviours and so appreciate some of the advantages in trying different things for the partners seeking sex.

Similarly you may learn from pornography how an older woman in a relationship may introduce a younger woman to her predominantly L-brain male partner. What the younger woman gets out of it is probably some sex education and experience as well as the enjoyment of sex while it is done under controlled and safe conditions. In other words, a younger woman may see the comfort of an older woman being present to teach the finer points of sex and to show how it is done, what to look for and the signs of when a man is getting close to reaching his orgasm, the forms of contraception available and how it is used and so on. On the other side of the equation, the benefit would naturally be for a man who can more easily develop an erection and have sex by observing a younger woman. As for the older woman, the benefits to her might be to experience sex with the man once he achieves an erection or to allow the man to perform sex with the younger woman while the older woman receives oral sex from the younger women or man or is happy to look on.

Or it may simply be nothing more than for the older man to see the sights of a younger woman, possibly sitting on his face, while the older woman sits on top of him for sex. It really doesn't matter.

In other L-brain couples, it would not be unusual to see people swap partners with other couples. These are known as swingers. The sight of a different partner has a remarkable way of stimulating the L-brain to prepare and engage in sex. This is how the L-brain works. This form of sex can only work if the exchange in partners do not cause jealousy, all the partners are healthy, and safe sex is performed.

Or to avoid sex with different partners, it is possible to fool the L-brain into thinking sex has not been performed with the same partner should the partner and/or the environment be presented in a fresh and different way. That's why a female partner can potentially have sex twice with a man (i.e. he can come twice) in a spacing of say 30 minutes (so yes, men can have multiple orgasms, except the period between each climax is longer than for a woman) because all it takes is for the woman to change her lingerie and/or scenery and tempt the man to have sex with her and with his L-brain observing the whole situation, he can suddenly be fooled mentally into thinking he hasn't had sex because the brain looks at the situation and thinks it is looking at another woman and/or a different place.

Likewise the same is true for L-brain women. A male could wait for a week or longer before a L-brain woman might be physically ready for sex and only if she can overcome the boredom of having sex in the same position in the same room (i.e. usually the bedroom) all the time. On the other hand, if he chooses to wear a variety of different clothes, all designed to make the guy look attractive in the eyes of most women (although preferably the one he prefers to be with), and to change the scenery and storyline instead of constantly staying in the bedroom, the L-brain woman is more likely to be receptive to sex sooner. Why? Because the woman learns to imagine sex with what she thinks is a different sexy male and wants to try sex in these different situations.

That's why some women are sexually stimulated by the sight of say their male partners dressed up as a pizza boy and delivering what was thought to be a pizza when in fact we know it is going to be something else altogether.

If sex is presented in a more creative and different way while still ensuring the act is performed safely, responsibly and with care, then the relationship should last for a lifetime. Yet, on the same token, we have to accept the likelihood that sometimes some L-brain partners are not designed to stay married in a relationship forever. In which case, the most important thing is to make sure the bond between parents and children are strong and will be maintained even after a marriage has ended.

And should enough experience by gathered by L-brain couples they may eventually learn and realise it is not always necessary to get involved in a pompous religious ceremony called marriage in order to stay together or even to look after the children. So long as the bond between the parents and their children is strong and willing to look after the offsprings until they become independent-thinking adults and can look after their own needs, the need for the parents themselves to be tied together by marriage and therefore "forced" to rely on each other for sex is no longer seen as necessary. We see this situation in those societies described as more R-brain or creative in nature. For example, some environmentally-friendly and generally isolated human societies that also value creativity in art and in their relationships will tend to follow this trend.

One shouldn't think this is exclusive to humans. In the animal kingdom, there are species that can stick together for life as mating pairs while looking after the offspring(s). Take, for instance, the penguins in Antarctica. Yet you never see penguins go through a religious ceremony to show the love and commitment of two penguins mating, producing an offspring, and looking after it.

But do animals have to stick together for life? Not always.

In other animals species , life is understood to be hard and often the lifespans are short and staying with the same partner for life may not always be the best solution. So having multiple partners may be better so long as the offprings are well cared for in the long run. And anyway, if an animal is unhappy to be mating with a partner, would you expect the animal to stay together for life? Of course not. Animals are not silly. They will move on and try different partners.

So why do humans need a religious ceremony of marriage to show commitment and love to another person until such time as when people decide to move on. And should marriage be a necessary part of our lives to show our love and support for any children brought into this world through any previous relationship?

To the Christians the answer is a definitive yes to marriage. Marriage is seen as a necessary part of people's lives and must be maintained throughout the ages well into the future (probably for eternity) because of the benefits to the health and well-being of developing children who need stability in a family unit and to avoid harm to one of the partners who may discover his/her partner has chosen to seek another intimate relationship. For example, in Issue 4 of Your Family, Your Faith: Making it Meaningful (September 2011), the article titled The Genius of Marriage — A Social Science Perspective stated:

"The genius of marriage, and the reason why every society throughout the ages has enshrined its importance in law and ritual, is that it gives children the very best chance to grow up in a secure and loving relationship with the child's own two parents."

And as far as the relationship of the man and the woman involved in the procreating activity is concerned, Christians say the act of sex should only be performed in marriage and as part of a family life. As Choicez Media, a training organisation supplying christian information, stated in its brochre titled Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll:

"The Church actually has a truly human and divine attitude to sex and relationships. It celebrates the body, it celebrates the joy of intimacy and attrraction and upholds the great goodness of intercourse based in the commitment of marriage and family life."

And apparently it should be done without a condom or other suitable contraception methods (unless some devine intervention takes place during sex to prevent this from happening) if the words of editor of My Family, My Faith - Making it Meaningful and mother of four, Felicity de Fombelle, is anything to go by when she said in Issue Eight 2013:

"By the time you read this, our fourth child will have arrived, a much wanted sibling for our three boys. Paul and I will be content to stop at four children, but for me the real lesson is accepting that I'm not in control. God is. And to trust in his plan for our happiness."

On reading this quote, one gets the impression that every time Christians attempt to put on a condom, God magically makes it disappear during sex because this is what God wants. Or is God providing the invisible hand of guidance to push the butt of the man to force him in further when he ejaculates just to ensure God gets the child he wants?

Makes one wonder what happens if the Christians can tell the difference between the devil or God if one is telling the Christians to have babies while the environment has been degraded so much to the point where it can't provide the necessary food for nourishing the Christians.

Furthermore, the Christians seem to believe with absolutely certainty how vital it is for the parents to be a man and a woman because it is claimed the child will have the best opportunity in life when the parents are of opposite sex, or so we are told. Is this true? Or are the Christians defending the real purpose of having parents of the opposite sex because it is really about providing a combination of L- and R-brain skills as well as good emotions to a child for the development of a more holistic perspective on life and a better understanding of people in the same and opposite sex as well as solve everyday problems in the most efficient and effective way possible? In which case, is it necessary for this kind of L- and R-brain and emotional development to be strictly between a man and a woman?

In fact, not mentioned by the Christians is how balanced individuals working as a single parent can provide equally effective (if not more effective) parenting and teaching L- and R-brain skills as any other family, as well as encouragement and just being a friend (and not always to act as a mother or father all the time) to their children. Whereas adequate education in the public domain and socialising can fill in many other gaps in their children's mental, physical and emotional development whether or not one gender or the other is missing in the parenting role.

And what happens if Christians discover sex in marriage isn't exactly all that it is cracked up to be or they had imagined? What happens next? Is more communication the answer? Apparently this is the preferred solution for many Christians. Or else learn to focus on loving the person in general and in a non-sexual way. A very noble thing to do if you can do it. But if it doesn't work out right, then what? Stay unhappy in marriage and abstain from sex for the rest of your life, never to experience the full love of another person? How will pretend everything is hunky-dory in the relationship while deep down you wished you had the sex you wanted with another person?

It makes some people wonder whether Christians would be better off just having a go at sex before marriage rather than leaving it so late and having children only to find potentially insurmountable problems during the relationship. It could even teach some Christians about how to apply effective contraception before marriage so that God doesn't try to accidentally create a child. Just find out everything you need to know about a person including what happens in the bedroom, and practice contraception techniques, before making the final plunge (i.e., commitment) and perhaps celebrate the decision with marriage if necessary (if two living things really love each other, you don't see other animals setting aside time to celebrate the moment with fanfare and going to Church just to show the love and commitment, they just do it). If you don't "try before you buy", you may find yourself stuck in a horrible relationship for a very long time (perhaps the rest of your life according to the Christians) only to change your own personality in a negative way when unhappiness sets in for the long term.

Not exactly love we think.

About the only thing one can agree on with the Christians is how people should show friendship before becoming intimate and possibly having sex (although Christians prefer it happens during marriage). To the Christians, this is how we begin to know whether we might be compatible with someone for the long term. As the Choicez Media brochure stated:

"A successful relationship begins with friendship and takes a natural progression towards intimacy, marriage and sexual intercourse. If this process is rushed or any of the stages skipped then it sets a relationship up for challenges. When time is taken to allow these stages to develop and settle it gives a couple the opportunity to get to know each other, experience challenges and work through these to develop the key ingredients of a good relationship: respect, communication, trust, honesty, friendship."

Blimey! This is about the only common sense thing we have heard from the Christians so far.

But let us look at this statement more closely. Because we discover something interesting.

Firstly, how many people can achieve intimacy and ultimately sex through fighting, hatred and other forms of non-loving behaviours? None. Being nice to people, communicating and going out to share in various "fun" experiences are all part of being "friendly", which is another form of love. So what the Christians are saying is clearly sensible. In other words, you can't have sex if you don't show friendship in the first place.

However, it would be an absolute bugger if people have to leave out sex until marriage and discover at such a late stage it was a fizzer to a potentially good relationship. Yet Christians will argue in the case of young people contemplating sex:

"With schoolies, parties and the end of Year 12 some young people make sexual and relationship decisions they regret for the rest of their lives."

Young people will only regret the experience if they forget to put on a condom and realise they have extra responsibilities as well as extra money and time to look after a baby. Then Christians add:

"When you add alcohol and other factors many people end up in situations they wish they could have changed."

Well yeah. That's an unfortunate part. Alcohol can impair the proper thinking functions of the brain, especially in the frontal cortex region, in order to make a reasonably rational decision. Somehow society has to deal with the profit motivation of certain businesses willing to sell alcohol to teenagers. Even so, it is a age old problem that has extended well into the older adults. Nothing unusual here. All we can do is provide adequate education at an early enough age on all these other issues such as alcohol so that teenagers can make a more informed decision when the time comes. The same is true of peer pressure to get involved in alcohol and sex. Beyond that, sex education should be provided to help the teenagers know what to do when those horny feelings do start to develop.

But even if a young person is not intoxicated but rather is swept up by the emotions of the day or any celebratory event they have attended with friends and want to have sex because he/she knows it can be done (i.e. he/she has practised enough to know it is physically possible) and the feelings are mutual with another young person, why not? Young people will defy any adult who tells him/her not to do it. In the end they will find a private place, take off their clothes, or enough clothes to make the intercourse a reality, and do it no matter what. All we can ever do is give young people enough sex education as early as possible so they can understand the consequences. Then give them easy access to protection, especially condoms, and they will never regret the experience — not once!

Still the Christians are not happy. Instead they have to resort to explaining the beauty of sex and marriage as the ultimate way of attaining unity with God. As the brochure stated:

"The Catholic understanding of relationship, marriage and sexual intercourse is that just as God is three persons in one God, we are called to become a new unity in marriage and intercourse — in essence two bodies, two persons, two lives become one through the beautiful gift of marriage and intercourse."

Don't people experience the same unity with God when sex occurs outside marriage? When we hear some people yell out, "Oh God!" and climax, the feelings of unity should be there in the same way as those couples who are married especially when the sexual activity is prolonged and done with great affection and love.

And again:

"Each human person is a mystery and discovering the depths of that mystery can take a lifetime. That is why the Church has seen marriage as a place where people can share that mystery together, spiritually, emotionally and physically."

Getting married is not going to make the understanding of another human person any quicker or easier. It will still take a lifetime "discovering the depths of that mystery" with someone no matter if we are married or not. The mystery is always there. In fact, not even a lifetime can resolve the mystery of anyone. There is always a mystery in each one of us. Only time and regular interactions by the couple in a concerted effort to show love making that is considerate, intense and prolonged will help to better understand each other. But never are we going to know the ultimate truth to all things during our intense and close interactions. Marriage is not going to change this situation.

So why isn't sex, which is just another form of love, included in the friendship stage talked about by the Christians? Why separate intimacy and sex from having a friendship with someone should those feelings develop naturally and mutually? Surely when people are having sex, they are still friendly and showing friendship to the other person. They aren't doing anything else, unless Christians see what looks like to them is fighting when people are making love. But it isn't fighting at all. It is just part of sex. It is perfectly natural. When the bodies of two people are fully ready for sex, some people just like it rough and fast. That is all there is to it. But if people want to experience this "unity" feeling, take it slower, a lot slower. Make the sex last considerably longer. And when climax is mutually reached, the intensity of the feelings will culminate at a point where everything will feel as one.

When people get together and choose to stay together is because people are being friendly and showing friendship to each other. Having sex shouldn't change the situation. Sex should be a part of friendship.

As far as the development of a good relationship through respect, communication, trust and honesty is concerned as mentioned by the Christians by taking the friendship road with someone before sex, this is automatically understood and provided for by R-brain people. R-brain people understand other people to a deep level. They know people need love. It is a right given to all people. Love encompasses respect, trust, honesty, communication and anything else people need to feel loved. They don't need to be developed with someone. It is already there because of the knowledge and understanding R-brain people have gathered. Even a stranger should be treated the same way as if he/she is a close friend. Of course, you don't expect to have immediate sex with a stranger. That's just plain silly. The body chemistry and mind has yet to adjust to the situation before the feelings can arise to promote the possibility of sex. But while the feelings are not there, there is nothing wrong with being friendly and showing other forms of love such as trust and respect with someone you have met for the first time just the same as someone you have met a thousand times.

Friendship and, when the feelings arise, sex are really one and the same thing. If the feelings are not there, it is still love through the other positive actions we perform with another person. We should not separate love from friendship, and love from sex. And when the feelings are there, friendship from sex.

This is the difference between a genuine R-brain person and a Christian. In a L-brain society where we don't know what people will do because of how we have set up the institutions to demand people to earn a living in order to survive, Christians have become more L-brain in their thinking in order for them to discriminate strangers from a family member or another friend and so determine who should receive the love (or whether the love needs to be developed). This is not the true principle of love as promoted by the New Testament in the Bible as spoken of by the leader named Jesus Christ.

The Bible is promoting a more R-brain approach to love.

Alright. Assuming marriage is meant to be critical to the success of a relationship between a man and a woman, how do Christians view the benefits of marriage to the children? Do these benefits outweigh those children with unmarried parents living together or living apart, or who have a single parent? Returning to the article Your Family, Your Faith: Making it Meaningful, it stated:

1. Girls whose parents marry and stay married are three times less likely to end up young, unwed mothers;
2. When a child's parents fail to marry and stay married, that child is statistically more likely to experience 'deep and persistent poverty', even after factoring race and family background;
3. The divorce or non-marriage of parents is likely to have a 'significant, long-term negative impact' on children's educational attainment;
4. Children who live with their own two married parents enjoy better physical health, on average, than children in other relationships;
5. Children born to married parents have lower rates of infant mortality;
6. Children whose parents marry and stay married have lower rates of substance abuse and are less likely to experiment with tobacco or alcohol;
7. Children whose parents marry and stay married have lower rates of psychological distress and mental illness;
8. Boys raised in stable marriages are less likely to engage in delinquent and criminal activity;
9. Children living with their married parents are at less risk of child abuse.

It is not clear how point 1 is a benefit unless you are a Christian believing in the sanctity of marriage. The only reason girls are more likely to wed after growing up in a family of married parents is because girls have observed parents who were generally happy while being married. But is this an outer appearance thing? Deep down, there is a lot of work to make it happen. Parents have to choose to be happy when married (which hopefully both parents love each other enough to make the choice easier) or else make a concerted effort to make it look like a happy household. Should it be the latter case, it will usually involve being more creative as parents find ways to express the love either for each other, or else focus the creativity and other forms of support on the children. Then the children, seeing the facade of seemingly happy parents working together, go away thinking marriage is "okay". However, there are parents who don't get married, may live under the same roof or in separate houses, and regularly see the children and there is still no harmful effects to the children in terms of their emotional, intellectual and physical development over the long term. So long as both parents understand there is a commitment to the children if not to each other, then all the children will see is the appearance of happy parents. Then marriage is seen as a choice.

Marriage is neither a guarantee parents will love each other and be happy until "death do us part" according to one's vows, nor is it critical to the healthy upbringing of a child. It just increases the likelihood of a successful upbringing because parents have to either make an effort within marriage to make it work, or can benefit from another persons skills and abilities to assist in the children's upbringing and/or help the other parent. However, if one parent has the skills and abilities and is creative enough to find solutions to helping children grow into healthy and well-adjusted young adults, one parent can succeed just as well (if not better than most) married couples with children.

In point 2, there is no such thing as "failed" people who don't marry, or can't make a marriage work. People are not failures. It is a personal choice, and no harm is done by not being married so long as there is an effort to look after the children. The fact that some people cannot make the necessary adjustments or changes in their lives for whatever reason to make the relationship between each other work (whether in married environment or not), does not mean they cannot be good parents to their children should they decide to have children in the first place. Perhaps work commitments are a major issue for one parent, the other, or both? Or the views and ideas of each person are so different yet both parents understand the importance of diversity to a child's education that we cannot force one another to be who we want. Nevertheless, so long as each parent do make the effort to commit a reasonable amount of their time to the healthy upbringing of children, it really doesn't matter if you are married or not. And you are certainly not a "failure" for not marrying, or even choosing to divorce. Only Christians will make you feel negative about not being married; that is there opinion. You have yourself and your own life to decide how best to achieve anything you want.

As for the poverty issue, it is a combination of ensuring that if parents do decide to divorce that the process doesn't get dragged on and on through a court process. It will only make the parents more upset, which in turn can affect the children who, most of all, need stability in their lives and want to see happy adults willing to show them encouragement, provide regular rewards, provide advice and be supportive. Without this love and happiness from the adults, it is difficult for children to develop properly into healthy and free-thinking adults, which is where the poverty begins. Also, not everyone taking on a parenting role are sufficiently balanced and skilled enough to perform both work and family commitments and still be creative to solve a diverse range of problems. If parents are balanced in their thinking and have good skills, the only benefit of another parent is to share in the time to look after the family in terms of the children and/or the other parent's needs (e.g. making breakfast in the morning for everyone). In other words, two parents can give extra time to each other to rest or spend extra quality time to the children to help them develop and grow.

In point 3, what significant negative impact are we talking about? Are the Christians trying to say that if the mother cannot ask the child to see dad about how to solve a maths problem set by the school that the child will experience a significant negative impact in his/her development to become a balanced young adult? Sounds rather extreme. Again it must come down to the remaining parent and how balanced and skilled he/she is when managing the different roles of being a parent and working to earn a living, and how he/she can solve different problems. Furthermore, access to a wide variety of free education online from quality sources and other tools, as well as letting friends of the child come together to solve the problems, can provide just as much benefits as, say, a knowledgeable father helping the child with a problem. Beyond that, it is really up to the remaining parent to find time to go out with the child to gain experiences, or meet up with other families whose parents are of the opposite gender to help gain an additional perspective on life.

And why in point 4 are we saying children have better physical health in a married relationship by two parents (presumably has to be between a man and a woman)? Or is the real reason because the extra parent will have the extra time to cook better foods, so giving the children the extra physical benefits of healthy eating? Or is it because the man can earn extra income to pay for the extra higher quality foods? And do you have to get a woman to provide all this good healthy cooking? A man can do the work just as well if he puts his mind to the task and learns to balance himself. Nor does it mean a single parent cannot provide healthy cooking consistently to children, especially if his/her income will support it. And a woman can just as easily earn enough income to achieve the aims of any man in a family. As for exercise, the parent(s) have to encourage children to try different exercises (e.g. karate classes, aerobics, dance workshops etc), get them to join clubs where they will be encouraged to develop their fitness, perhaps by bringing along their friends, or at least be guided and encouraged by other adults or new friends in the group of the same age. There is no absolute necessity to be married in order for children to have better physical health.

In point 5, it suggests children observe their parents looking after a baby and other children can help them in later life to apply the same or similar skills in looking after a baby of their own, thereby decreasing the likelihood of infant mortality. But is it necessary to be married in order to benefit from this claim?

As for point 6, it isn't the marriage that could be reducing the likelihood of children getting involved in substance abuse. It is the parents whose lack of encouragement and quality time spent with the children to help them try different things of a more positive experience is what's often missing in the children who end up trying certain drugs out. They get bored, don't know what to do, parents (married or not) are not around to give them guidance and encouragement to try different things and give them regular rewards in doing so. It is what happens when parents are not sufficiently skilled and balanced enough to earn enough money so they can find extra time to be at home looking after the children. So what are children to do when they are not loved enough and given the regular opportunities to try different experiences? Obviously they are going to try something they should not, encouraged by peers who have falling into a similar trap. It is our parenting skills that have not been up to scratch, which probably brings us back to the issue of insufficient education in the first place.

Substance abuse can occur with children of married parents just as easily as those who are not married.

Education and lots of love and encouragement from everyone in society is all that is needed to help children to try different things.

In point 7, that's a question of providing a long-term relaxing environment with access to easy-to-use and quality resources for learning in order for children to gather the core knowledge forming a good education. Then we must give children plenty of opportunities to apply the knowledge through games, physical exercises, socialising, and various other worthwhile and useful activities. Do this and when the stressful moments do arrive, the children will be more resilient and have skills to manage the stresses more effectively than those who don't. Basically anyone can do this. You don't need to be married to make this happen The only benefit in being married is the possibility of receiving extra income and this can make an enormous differences in gathering enough resources and give extra time for children to grow healthy in the mind and body. But again we must stress how any single parent or parents who are separated can achieve the same thing just as well, if not better, than some married parents. It depends on the situation and who is helping the children to become healthy, happy and sufficiently well-educated with the right knowledge.

In point 8, we get back to point 6 and why it is important to encourage and reward children for doing different things of a positive and worthwhile nature for society and themselves so the children aren't wondering what they can do next (after they have slept and relaxed) when no one seems to love them and have nothing to do to give them worth and something to believe. As a result, children tend to meet up with other young people who have fallen into the same or similar circumstances and all will use their creativity to solve the problem, often in a negative way to what society is expecting to see. One should also stress (an unfortunate word) the importance of letting children try things out and not constantly nag at them to stop this or that. If there is nothing inherently wrong with what the children are doing, let them pursue the activities as far as they can take it. Remember to regularly reward children for doing different things as they reach different milestones. It is so critical in a child's development to know what they are doing is right and to be rewarded for it.

And in point 9, one could easily argue the opposite. In other words, children can be abused in married families. In unmarried families where the parents live separately, it is much harder for children to be abused as they can easily move between parents' homes and talk about their experiences, gather extra knowledge and insights from the other parent they are with at the time, and are able to recognise abuse should it ever take place and do something about it. In a married situation, the children come home and the pressure to keep quiet as the abuse takes place is often greater in this situation. The Christians are basing their argument of less abuse in a married family unit on the assumption that children are always free to discuss everything within the family and both parents have the skills, confidence and knowledge to handle such situations. This is not always the case.

Surely there must be more to this marriage thing than simply looking after children.

Come to think of it, is there any other reason for people to go through a religious ceremony of getting married?

Perhaps marriage was created by certain (religious) leaders after observing a relatively common behavioural pattern among L-brain people of pain, jealously and suffering (and sometimes taking revenge). To ensure people do the "morally right thing" (and especially in the event where children are to be conceived and brought into the world), the religion promoting the institution of marriage will use God as a witness (together with the presence of a large number of family members and friends to the wedding ceremony just to ram the message through) followed by hints that you might go to hell (for Christian types) as well as take a serious blow on your social life if you introduce another person to sex within the marriage (especially if the other person has not consented and is highly L-brain enough to believe love should be monogamous). Certainly the benefits of marriage can be seen when people understand how there is a responsibility to look after the children brought into the world. Also, we can't deny how some L-brain women in love may find it difficult to share a man with another woman and need the sanctity of marriage to affirm the love of a man to themselves forever. Likewise the same would be true of a L-brain man. So maybe marriage is nothing more than a grand ceremony to ensure only L-brain couples are committed to each other in the presence of God and other witnesses and to instil religious fear into these L-brain people to do the right thing by sticking with their partners or else face social hardship among the people who witnessed the marriage and eventually the wrath of God in the end when they die.

In fact, marriage is usually considered so important, it is not surprising if some religious people express shame (or try to make people feel guilty or bad) on those who don't take up marriage if they intend to have children or even make love outside wedlock. A habit that many Christians get into with others.

For R-brain types, this is not necessary. The understanding of showing love is already there right from the beginning after many years of careful thinking and gathering all the knowledge behind the issue.

This is probably why some Christian men and women believe it is better not to have sex and children until they are married because of this L-brain issue of not causing harm which would otherwise be seen as not a form of love in the eyes of God.

R-brain people, on the other hand, just have the knowledge to know what is right and will make sure the love is for one person if the other, more L-brain, person does not want to "share" the love with other people. Otherwise it does not matter whether to get married in order to provide love to another person(s). And where children are involved, the commitment is naturally there from R-brain types.

Certainly these are deep-seated emotional issues to contend with for most, if not all, L-brain people "in love" with another person to the point where marriage may seem like a necessity to get the other person to commit his/her love to one person. For instance, the last thing we want to do is hurt people by making them feel alone and unloved (powerful weapons to hurt any social creature). And there is the physical responsibility of properly looking after the kids. Understandably, these two factors alone are usually enough for marriage to be seen as a powerful and necessary religious and social ceremony not only to advertise the love of two people to the rest of the world but also to acknowledge a genuine partnership ready to fulfil the aims of working together in achieving certain shared goals including bringing into the world and looking after new human beings.

However, if couples are sufficiently R-brain in their thinking and fully understanding of the issue of love with all people, the power of sex in showing love and affecting each other to the deepest level, and know the long-term consequences of their actions and how to solve them in order to achieve the most positive outcomes (we call this applying the principle of love), marriage should not be seen as absolutely vital when getting the responsibility of a partner to help with rearing children, or to achieve the emotional needs required of each other through sex. It should be automatically provided naturally. We all deserve love. There is no need to deny another the love they need.

Our level of knowledge acquired over time will quickly determine this fact when genuine R-brain types get together.

Getting back to the pornography and relationship issue mentioned by the newspaper article, one should be careful in using statistics to show the level of porn viewing by a population (e.g. Nielsen/NetRatings NetView suggested 2.7 million Australians visited an adult website in March 2007 and 4.3 million in the first three months of 2007, not including repeat visits according to the article reported by Adele Horin) and then use the figures to argue how porn causes relationship breakdowns. This is a simplistic approach to understanding the more complex problems in a relationship.

There are a wide range of reasons for relationships to breakdown. And not all are related to the viewing of pornographic materials as the one and only cause. Sometimes people in a relationship are not able to problem-solve or cope with certain everyday issues for a long period of time. More communication may help in this regard. Access to experts to help understand the issues or problems and search for a range of solutions or ways of perceiving the situation differently could be the way to go. At other times, people may simply not be interested in maintaining the relationship, a kind of incompatibility issue that cannot be resolved through communication and seeking professional advice. Short of brain washing someone, you really cannot force a person to love you no matter what you do. If the relationship is to be a true test of endurance and the long-term success of those two people involved in making it happen, sometimes it is necessary to let each other go.

If your partner really loves you, he/she will return. If not, your partner was not the right person for you in the first place.

Also if one partner is highly manipulative because he/she is not getting what he/she wants, the relationship can also breakdown. So you cannot blame pornography on this situation. People can only take so much manipulation from a partner and then the relationship will have to end at some point. In these situations, you can never expect the partner to return until the manipulation is gone and a genuine effort to accept each other is made and make the most of our strengths to achieve great things.

Actually the percentage of relationship breakdowns caused solely by pornography (and not by any other issue) is very small. And an even smaller percentage acknowledge porn viewing is compulsive whether or not the relationship was successful for a time when porn was not discussed. Most viewing of pornography is done by single men, a number of women, couples within and outside marriage, researchers and psychologists understanding human sexual behaviour, and curious young children reaching the age of sexual maturity in the physical sense and need to know what it is about and how it is done.

Where L-brain women express a concern for their partners' apparent "obsession" for watching pornography in secret (possibly because they are not experiencing sex themselves or sex is not of the R-brain type needed to stimulate feelings for sex), it is remarkable how there are other L-brain women who don't complain about their partners' viewing of pornography when they do get sex in the way they want it. So maybe the real issue here is not so much about whether men are looking at porn, but rather whether women are able to get the sex they want from men as often or as intimately and creatively as they can? And if not, why? Are women doing enough to be creative in getting the sex they want? Are they making active efforts to exercise, eat healthy foods and try to look reasonably attractive? And are they understanding of the situation men are going through as well?

For example, men who resort to drinking alcohol, smoking and taking other drugs could be another indication of a potential relationship breakdown. It is important to communicate the issues out in the open and with great honesty before things get out of hand.

Or maybe it is as simple as the woman not exercising, eating healthy foods and making reasonable attempts to look attractive to her partner. Some women think the only time they need to make themselves attractive is when they are seeking a partner. After they find a partner, it is an automatic ticket to stop being attractive because the partner will presumably always love them for the way they are and not how they look. A noble thought and one all L-brain types should aspire to (i.e. become balanced in their thinking by applying more R-brain skills). But the reality is that many L-brain types may need to see the attractiveness in others for a long time, even after they are married.

NOTE 1: There is a view by some commentators that people's jobs should indicate whether a person is likely to be creative or R-brain in bed with their partners. Again this is too simplistic. The idea that creative jobs (e.g. graphic designers) must also be creative in bed and therefore any relationship problems must lie with the men is a fallacy. A creative job does not necessarily make a person genuinely R-brain in his/her thinking. If the relationship of a graphic designer with, say, her partner breaks down, it may be because the partner is more L-brain in his thinking and has developed an understanding of what makes for an attractive partner in his eyes. But also, the graphic designer may not be sufficiently R-brain enough to find ways to make the sex more interesting, creative and satisfying for herself and her partner. Many supposedly creatively jobs may be nothing more than accessing a wide range of known designs and then choosing this or that with perhaps a change in colour(s) to make something look creatively different. But a genuine R-brain person can often develop a completely new style or idea that no one else has seen before. The difference in a genuine R-brain person and someone who is doing a creative job is quite significant. Therefore, the occupation of a person is no definitive proof of the type of one-sided thinking a person will take and hence the likelihood of a relationship succeeding or not. Other factors must be considered such as age, diet and exercise and how these may affect the behaviour of a person who is likely to be more L-brain dominant in his/her thinking. For genuine R-brain types, these factors are not seen as important. If both couples are genuinely R-brain types, the relationship will always be successful no matter how they look. There are no expectations in how they should look to each other. Each person understands each other well enough or can certainly use the imagination to see why and how we have become the person we are and where we are heading. There is almost no need to talk in this kind of relationship because the needs are clear and can be easily fufilled by each partner. But when it comes to a L-brain person, a genuinely R-brain person already understands the consequences of his/her actions to the L-brain type and how a healthy diet and exercise are seen as an integral part of his/her life. But when it comes to others, a genuine R-brain person doesn't make it a necessity for others to do the same for him/her.

NOTE 2: It is natural and healthy for men to see pornography (no matter how much a L-brain society may frown upon the idea), usually more so than women. The brains of men are naturally designed to observe, which in turn reinforces this L-brain way of thinking (i.e. observing and recording into memory). Men are naturally inclined to behave and learn from what they see with their eyes. This is how humans have survived for millions of years when men were given the task of protecting society from attacks by predators as well as to find food. For R-brain types looking at this situation, they are neither shocked nor surprised by the discovery. No major revelation for R-brain types to see people looking at pornography. It is perfectly normal. They naturally see this as how L-brain types obtain their sex education by observing others and understanding how the female and male bodies works and obtain ideas on how to spice up the sex life of couples. It can even teach single men to start imagining what it is they see in enough images to help the R-brain kick in and realise there is a different type of sex that women find enjoyable. Then over time men learn how to become better lovers for women. It is either this, or society has to go through a massive sexual revolution whereby a designated group of experienced women go around in society seeking out young men who have reached the age of being able to have sex and then teach these men everything needed to know about real sex beyond the idea that a young man just has to penetrate a vagina with his penis. But it is unlikely society will go this far. So the only other option apart from finding a very open-minded R-brain girlfriend is to learn about the subject through magazines (either in picture form or a combination of text and pictures). But once a sexual relationship is established, you have to understand something about the way other people think. With R-brain types, this is less of an issue. However, when pornography becomes continuously a focus of men even within a sexual relationship with a L-brain woman who is not into pornography, then understandably it may be necessary to discuss the issue in case it leads to a relationship breakdown.

Communication is a vital part of any human relationship, especially when sex is involved.

## UPDATE ##
10 January 2010

Proposed new child pornography laws in NSW, Australia, will see artists no longer able to use art as their defence for showing any image of a naked child. Instead, artists will be forced to account for their works to the authorities. And consent from the child and his/her parents will probably not be enough for the artists.

The recommendations came after a working party investigating the case of an artist named Mr Henson showing photographs of a naked (but hidden appropriately with shadows in the right areas) girl aged over 12 years found there was enough in the images to suggest to certain L-brain individuals that the image could be sexualised.

Even if people with more than half a brain can see the images as art, there is a concern among the L-brain members of society (most prevalent in politics and law) that an image of a naked child will automatically be seen as a sexual object of desire and hence some L-brain people will allegedly turn into child molesters etc.

And it may even be seen by authorities as promoting child pornography even though there is no indication the child is engaging in any form of sexual activity.

Once the proposed laws gets passed in NSW pariliament it is likely publications of calendars showing naked babies presented as art or even a family photo of a naked baby sitting on a wall would be interpreted by L-brain people as illegal.

Manipulating the partner's body during sex

L-brain people love to manipulate the environment, and this usually translates into a quick desire for a L-brain man to try grabbing hold of a women's breasts with his hands, or for a L-brain women to use her mouth and tongue to create an immediate reaction in the environment (e.g. an erection in men).

For R-brain people, manipulating the environment (i.e. their partners) in a direct sense is not crucial. Just looking into the eyes of their partner or closing their eyes and holding each others hands as they imagine having sex with each other is usually enough to initiate actual sexual excitement.

Outer appearance

L-brain people are usually concerned about the looks of another person they are having sex with. L-brain people feel this emphasis on good looks is vital for a successful sexual intercourse. It seems L-brain people love to pay homage to good looks, but tend to run away from those who don't have "the looks".

R-brain people tend to have the opposite view. While good looks may help during sex, it is not absolutely vital. A R-brain person will not complain nor deny others from experiencing sex if that is what others want or need. For example, if a woman has significant facial scars or deformities after a car accident, a R-brain man would still accept the woman as she is because she is a human being with the same sexual needs as any other person. What is more important for the R-brain man is the actual person underneath the "package" and to ensure the woman's sexual needs are properly and completely met. This may include facesitting and for the man to close his eyes as the woman gets on top for sex.


L-brain people usually don't have a major long-term goal to reach for during sex other than to experience an orgasm (i.e. the short-term goal). If, especially during marriage, there is a slightly more longer-term goal, it is usually no more than to create babies and perhaps to ensure their partner is happy from the experience.

R-brain people almost always associate sex with not just short-term goals (e.g. experiencing pleasure and making sure their partner is happy), but also long-term goals. The goals of sex for R-brain people can be to procreate, but more often than not the long-term goal of sex for R-brain people is actually much more holistic and far-reaching to human development than merely making babies.

To observe or not observe during sex

The ability to observe the act of having sex is actually an important part of a L-brain person's life. This observing is quite common among males because it is easier for a man to observe sex just by looking down to see the actions of his penis as it penetrates a woman's vagina. Hence it reinforces the L-brain skills of men.

For men, who have a naturally greater tendency for being L-brain in their thinking and approach to solving problems, the act of observing the penis and its effect on a woman's vagina, as well as watching other parts of her body (e.g. her breasts and her facial reactions) is usually enough to help men reach their orgasms.

However, there are certain L-brain women who do find it important to observe sex as well, especially early in the sexual intercourse as this helps them to relax and eventually achieve an orgasm during the sexual intercourse. Thus a woman may do things like pull her knees back to her ears and have a pillow behind her head so she can observe the man penetrating her vagina. Or, if she is not jealous, watch in great detail the effect of her partner's penis as it penetrates another woman's vagina.

R-brain people, when having sex, may observe the act of sexual intercourse at times. But more often than not will lie back, close their eyes, perhaps turn their heads to one side a little as they visualise and imagine sex as they are actually doing it.

Specific sexual behaviours performed during sex

Because L-brain people are more likely to watch the act of sexual intercourse with their eyes, there are usually certain types of sexual positions these people enjoy the most.

For example, a L-brain women is more likely to get on top of a man, move her body slightly forward, and look between her legs to see the action of the man's penis penetrating her vagina. A L-brain women would also try to lift her knees higher and spread her legs wider than usual while lying on her back on the bed at an angle (with pillows supporting her back), so she can observe the man's penis penetrating her vagina. The L-brain woman may also like to touch the man's penis during sex.

For men, reaching an orgasm while observing sex is quite easy. He merely has to look down and observe the actions of his penis in various different sexual positions while it is penetrating a woman's vagina in order to make him sexually excited and eventually reach orgasm. Also, genuine L-brain men are more likely not to slow down or stop having sex at certain times (unless it is to change sexual positions) to see whether the woman is reaching her own orgasms and is comfortable in doing so. He will usually continue at a pace he is most comfortable with and helps him to maintain his erection while he achieves the goal of an orgasm.

For a R-brain woman, having sex may be as simple as lying on her back horizontally on the bed, not being too concerned about whether she would like to observe what the man is doing. Rather she would be quite happy to close her eyes, move her head to one side, arms above her head and quietly relax and smile for as long as the man requires sex while she feels and imagines the sex experience for herself.

For a R-brain man, his concern during sex is not to go straight into sexual intercourse and achieve immediate orgasm. In fact, this type of man, usually an older L-brain type who has gathered a lot of experience and knowledge about sex or a naturally rare young R-brain man, will normally be happy to spend a lot of time just closing his eyes and allowing the woman to sit on top of him or for him to lie between the woman's legs as he teases her clitoris and gently penetrate the folds around her vagina with his tongue or fingers. A lot of facesitting could also take place where the woman sits on the man's face. A R-brain man will, therefore, not necessarily require to have actual penetration of the woman's vagina using his penis to fulfil a woman's and/or his own sexual needs. However, if a woman asks for the R-brain man to use his penis to pleasure her vagina, he will be happy to do so. But he will continue to listen and feel for the needs of the woman until she wants him to achieve an orgasm inside of her. But until then, R-brain men are able to slow down the experience of sex to ensure the woman is completely satisfied.

Can older L-brain men be more responsible and caring about sex compared to the young types? If these people have R-brain skills and the ability to learn, the answer is yes. As sexologist Gabrielle Morrissey said:

"Older men often appreciate sex more. They are often slow, generous lovers." (8)

Sexual positions

In the early stages, L-brain people will try to have sex in as many different positions as possible in one session. But later they quickly settle down to just one or two sexual positions for the rest of their lives, and often in just one room (usually the bedroom), at a particular time (usually at night or early in the morning).

R-brain people will primarily engage in sex in one main simple position for the entire session. The next sexual intercourse may be performed in a different position. The sexual position will usually change with each moment of sex for quite some time. And when all the positions are exhausted, they will try sex in different rooms, at different times of the day, and wear different kinds of clothing prior to or during sex. This approach to sex continues as R-brain people explore the many different avenues for achieving the goals of life during sex.

Competition vs cooperation

L-brain people, especially the young and inexperienced types, think sex is a kind of competition to see who can experience it first and to see how quickly they can reach an orgasm.

This is why many inexperienced young L-brain men prefer to be the only male to have access to so-called "virgin" girls for sex and why they tend to climax first before women do because of their strong L-brain characteristics learnt from prehistoric times when sex needed to be quick and competitive (i.e. more than one male for one female tends to bring out this need to show who is the dominant male, especially in times when the survival of the human species was paramount).

Also the lives of men tend to be short, and therefore usually need to impregnate as many women as possible in the shortest period of time.

R-brain people do not have to think in a competitive way during sex. In fact, they prefer to think of sex as a two-way street. There is much cooperation going on during sex between R-brain couples. In fact, the cooperation and understanding of the sexual needs of human beings are so great and deeply engrained in the minds of genuine R-brain men and women that it is not unusual for sex to be performed among three or more individuals in one session. Thus it is quite possible for two or more males to be having sex with one female at the same time, or vice versa. But this assumes the people involved are sufficiently R-brain. If there is any chance for one to be L-brain and capable of being jealous, this would not work.

Sex as a tool for conflict resolution?

R-brain people find sex as a powerful tool for solving conflicts and not just as a means of accelerating learning and reinforcing positive behaviour. Sometimes communication may take place prior to sex to see if a solution can be found. At other times, R-brain people find it better to have sex first to relax, bring more positive emotions into the situation, and so later think more clearly about the problem. In that way, R-brain people learn the problem is not in the people themselves but in the things they do, the beliefs they acquire and sometimes in the environment in which the people are living in. This makes it easier for R-brain people to have sex even when a problem has not yet been resolved. Once a solution is found, R-brain people usually engage in sex again to reinforce the new behaviours learned by all concerned.

For L-brain people, sex is usually not seen as a conflict resolution tool. Sex is only for procreation purposes or to meet one's own sexual needs such as reaching an orgasm. Sometimes L-brain people have trouble having sex at all until a conflict is resolved, a common trait among L-brain women who often ponder and strew over any minor problem and cannot move on to do anything else until the problem is properly resolved in their minds.

L-brain men, on the other hand, can easily and temporarily put aside the most difficult problems in their lives. In fact, sex can be seen as the way L-brain men can balance the extreme conflicts and horrors they may have experienced in their lives. This is incredibly common in war such as when soldiers decide to rape the enemy's young women. Sex among these men is more the conquering of another women and knowing they have achieved an orgasm in someone else as they balance their emotions. Rarely do L-brain men see the benefits of sex in resolving social conflicts. Afterwards these men usually do not learn anything new (except perhaps to think it is okay to rape women when there is a problem in their lives).

This is probably why L-brain men like to marry R-brain women because they are quieter, have no hang ups during periods of conflict, and are able to relax more often to allow the men to engage in sex with them, even if the experience might be quick and potentially unsatisfying. Or some L-brain men may marry a L-brain women with a strong enough interest in quick L-brain sex not to be affected by anything around them.

It all depends on how people see sex and whether it is a tool for whatever it is they wish to personally achieve from it, or see grander goals for the rest of society from engaging in the activity.

Chimpanzees in the wild also follow a similar R-brain and L-brain trend as with humans. For example, pygmy chimpanzees known as bonobos quickly resolve conflict through sex. The societies of bonobos are strictly matriarchal and neither do the individuals kill nor fight over territory. In the jungles of the Democratic Republic of Congo where these monkeys are found, the food is usually plentiful and hence the only conflict likely to occur among these creatures are of the minor domestic disputes within a group. If conflict does occur, the monkeys will pair off and find a place to engage in sex. It is as simple as that.

Unfortunately these peace-loving creatures affectionately known as the jungle hippies are a dying breed. It is not because sex as a conflict resolution tool doesn't work in the natural world. In fact, it may be because there isn't enough of it going around. The latest news suggests human beings continue to poach these animals, and now loggers and mining companies want to extract resources from the jungles of Congo to make money for themselves.

Perhaps humans are too busy making money and not enough having sex and being happy with what one has got in life.

As a result of the impact of humans, these bonobos are likely to face extinction quicker than their L-brain chimpanzee cousins living in the harsher environments of the savanna. Why? Because many of the L-brain chimps have learned to fight with each other and other animals in more brutal ways to ensure there is enough food for specific individuals. And anyway, there isn't much to take away or exploit by humans in the savanna regions compared to the rainforests.

Sex alone for the bonobos will not solve the conflict with man (although one could argue these chimps deserve to f*ck up the arse of man for what humans are doing to the chimpanzee's natural habitat).

Until man learns to solve its own conflicts and can live within its means and learn to recycle what it uses, we will have to find ways to protect these animals. As conservationist Claudine Andre said:

"All the great apes left in the wild face extinction, but it is the bonobos who look likely to be the first ones to go.

'Their [the bonobos] habitat was right on the front line in the civil war, they have always been poached for bushmeat and, now that there is peace, you have loggers and mining companies starting operations again." (Pflanz, Mike. Chimps find no safety in sex: The Sydney Morning Herald. 10-11 September 2005, p.21.)

Perhaps women can do the job themselves of controlling the behaviours of L-brain men through sex (with a gun in hand in case some males get violent). As Sydney Morning Herald writer, Ms Lisa Pryor, said:

"If we want to radically improve our lot as women, there is a simple thing we can do which is entirely within our power. It does not require placards or marching in the street. It would not cost the Government a cent. It is so obvious that it is remarkable we have not done it already: we must call a moratorium on having sex with bastards.

'....Sadly, though, if we do call a mass strike on having sex with bastards, the biggest challenge will be dealing with all the scabs. These scabs do not need to be secretly trained in Dubai. There are plenty of compliant, foolish and just plain desperate girls who would happily break the picket line for no better reason than they would rather have a bad man than no man at all.

'....These women should be treated with sympathy and psychotherapy....

'We only make life harder for ourselves when we allow other women to be treated poorly and pretend it is acceptable. We need to foster a new kind of sisterhood based on an understanding that our self-interest lies in protecting the interest of other women....

'While sex shouldn't be used as a weapon, surely there's nothing wrong with it as a negotiating tool. It is surely more empowered than the state of affairs in our raunch-obsessed culture, where being a sex goddess is deemed compulsory rather than a bonus.

'Once the revolution comes, and bastards have been black-banned, women will be left with a few alternatives. Lesbianism is one option, buying cats for company is another.

'For animal-haters and the incurably heterosexual, there is a third. Why not throw a bone to all the nice guys? The balding, bashful, kindhearted and badly dressed masses who are yearning for action. The men too sheepish or down to earth to hang out in fashionable bars lobbing naff pick-up-lines at over-styled Sex and the City wannabes. The men who miss out because, let's face it, shallow women are as common as shallow men." (Pryor, Lisa. It's time to refuse to lie down — and be counted: The Sydney Morning Herald. 18-19 February 2006, p.42.)

A summary of how sex usually takes place between different brain types

When two L-brain people are having sex, both are quite happy to work quickly and strenuously towards achieving an orgasm, with the man reaching his orgasm first, although it is not unusual for a L-brain women to reach hers first. Whoever comes first, he/she will usually make it clear verbally (e.g. "Oh God!" or whatever). This gives the other person a chance to reach their own orgasm straight away.

When two R-brain people are having sex, both are quite happy to work slowly, deliberately and with minimal effort. It is rare for a man or woman in this relationship to come first, because both are closely working with the other to reach orgasms simultaneously. But in the circumstance where the women wants to experience sex with her preferred sexual partner without going through the consequences of having babies, sometimes she will quietly have her orgasms very early during sex. Or if the sex is prolonged, wait until after about two-and-a-half or 3 hours of sex to have the orgasm without the man knowing. Then she will let him know she is happy and satisfied. But after a long and arduous sexual intercourse, it can become difficult for a R-brain man to maintain enough hormones in his body to help him reach an orgasm and may in fact be too tired to reach this point. Nevertheless, the enduring nature of the sexual encounter and the near exhaustion of having sex is not likely to upset him as his body is able to control his need to ejaculate. He is simply too tired to complain.

Or, alternatively, if a R-brain man is capable of reaching orgasm combined with a simultaneous expulsion of a reasonable amount of sperms from his penis, a R-brain woman can position herself in such a way as to ensure the penis penetrates at an angle and does not make full penetration inside her vagina. In that way, there is a high probability she will never get pregnant from the sex. (9)

For example, the woman might lie on her front as the man tries to insert and penetrate the woman vagina from above and behind. But because penetration is not deep enough and the penis has to be at an angle considered not favourable for the sperms to reach the cervix and naturally the womb in an easy way, it becomes a natural contraception technique. In fact, when combined with adequate lubrication within the vagina, the environment would be doubly worse for the sperms as the highly acidic nature of the lubrication will kill the sperms. Where lubrication is limited, adding lemon juice will have a similar effect on the sperms.

In the case where a L-brain man meets a R-brain woman or vice versa, it is not unusual for one partner or the other to be somewhat unsatisfied from the sexual experience. Sometimes, for instance, a R-brain women may be sexually unsatisfied because the L-brain man may have come too soon. Or a L-brain women may become easily tired and complain of headaches because a R-brain man has not come quick enough. Unless the partners are prepared to learn from each own's perspective and experiment with sex in different ways as part of the process of balancing oneself, it is likely one or the other will be unsatisfied in some way.

People who are concerned about the consequences of sex (i.e. making babies) perhaps for environmental reasons, or who have sexual needs but are not physically ready to engage in actual sexual intercourse, or who are not sexually satisfied with, or cannot find sexual satisfaction in or at least feel comfortable with someone of the opposite sex, may be inclined to find sexual satisfaction with someone of the same sex.

This homosexual behaviour is particularly common among women (especially at a young age, and among older women who still have strong sexual needs to be met but are not seen as attractive to men), although men can experience this as well.

In a survey on Sex in Australia conducted in 2003, Australian adults who have agreed to reveal their sexual preferences revealed 1.6 per cent of adult men saw themselves as homosexuals compared with 0.8 per cent of women as lesbians.

These figures vary significantly at different ages, physical characteristics and country.

For example, in the largest study into sexual practices in the US, researchers discovered American women aged between 18 and 29 years are more likely to engage in homosexual activity with other women compared to men or other age groups for women. According to the study, this homosexual activity in women was said to be 14 per cent of the total respondents made by women in the abovementioned age range having engaged in at least one homosexual experience. If the age range was increased from 18 to 44 years, the figure became 11 per cent, up from 4 per cent since the last study in 1992. As William Mosher, the leading author in the study held by the National Centre for Health Statistics, said:

"If it is seen as a safer alternative [than vaginal sex with men], it is an interesting response to the campaigns to reduce teen pregnancy and to reduce sexually transmitted diseases and HIV." (Maugh, Thomas. Young women play it safe with sex: The Sydney Morning Herald. 17-18 September 2005, p.17.)

And now some observers are suggesting this statistical trend is revealing an increasing balance between men and women on the issue of sex with more women choosing to be open and confident about discussing their sexual behaviours and preferences with peers and in engaging in sexual activity with the right partner(s) in more recent times. Possibly the start of a new sexual revolution of the 21st century?

Homosexuality, including some men who choose to behave like a woman called transvestites, often develop in a society that fails to provide the necessary emotional, physical, mental and spiritual love and maturity at the right times and in a certain way to help every worthy individual to grow and be satisfied.

For some women, there may be an added bonus for homosexual behaviour: it will not lead to unwanted pregnancies.

Homosexuality is also partly influenced by our genes. Looking back into our evolution, we notice there was a time when nearly 300 million years ago males once had two X chromosomes like the females and the sexes were not seen to be significantly different in outer appearance (especially looking from behind) as required to increase the likelihood of producing offsprings through sex. Thus when the time came to reproduce, it would not be unusual for males to accidentally meet up with other males, or females with females, to help satisfy a basic sexual need. Fortunately for heterosexual types this changed when one of the male X-chromosomes lost part of its genes and turned into the Y-chromosome. Since then, the Y-chromosome was able to store more masculine traits in its genes when activated. But males still have remnants of the original genes in the X-chromosomes.

Could certain genes in the X-chromosome get activated for some males to help feminise their thinking?

Another interesting discovery is how the greater the number of older brothers exist in a family and all showing masculine and heterosexual behaviours, the greater the likelihood of the youngest brother becoming gay. It is almost as if the brain tries to balance the situation experienced in the environment or genetically by feminising the brain of some men. The same could be said of females in a family who become lesbians (or tom boys). Women could also be balancing their minds by masculising the brain. Is this suggesting an environmental cause for homosexuality?

Of course, researchers cannot discount the possibility other factors could be at play such as hormone imbalances (current research is learning toward the level of testosterone in the mother's blood entering the womb at the moment of conception right through to giving birth to the baby which is apparently crucial to human brain development, thinking and perhaps ultimately the sexual preferences of the baby in later life), genetics and how close the relationships might be with the mother and father, or even the number of brothers and/or sisters.

At any rate, homosexual tendencies are believed to be both a learned behaviour and one that can be influenced by our genes.

And now thanks to a study by Professor Melissa Hines of Cambridge University with humans to measure the level of testosterone in the womb,, certain hormones can also determines the way babies thinks in either a feminine or masculine way, which in turn could affect their sexual preferences in later life. In this study, however, the focus for Professor Hines was to see the changes in the brain and behaviour of babies and young children based on testosterone levels.

Basically, as the study has revealed, Professor Hines has discovered how a reduction in the testosterone levels within the mother's blood from the moment the baby is conceived and right throughout much of the 9 months of human development will affect the size of the corpus callosum as noted by Dr Michael Lombardo at the University of Cambridge and make other changes within the brain to the point of making the babies think more like a co-operative, caring and sensitive person who is more likely to rely on emotions to make decisions — a common characteristic of most females. On the other hand, increase the hormone levels, and the brains in the developing babies seem to develop more competitive and rational skills commonly seen in most males.

In terms of human behaviour, Professor Hines has observed these brain developmental differences after the babies were born and noting the type of toys the babies played with irrespective of the type of sex the babies were. Thus girls born from a mother having high testosterone levels were more likely to play similar games to boys with similar high level hormone from their mothers. Whereas boys born from low testosterone levels from their mothers were more likely to play similar games to girls who also had low testosterone levels.

All these changes in the brain through differences in the testosterone levels could potentially affect the sexual preferences of the babies in later life although this will have to be studied by other scientists to determine how true this might be.

For example, higher testosterone levels leading to a girl with thinking skills more closely akin to males might result in physical appearances and choices by the girl to make her look more like a male. A shortening of the hair, wearing trousers, less makeup, possibly smaller breasts, and acting like a true "Tom boy" could make it inadvertently harder for the girl to find a male sexual partner. Unless the girl makes an active effort to look prettier and more sexy, it is possible at some point for this type of girl to solve her sexual urges by experiencing sex with another girl and hence the beginning of homosexual tendencies.

Could something similar happen for young males who were born with much less testosterone in the mother's blood?

Leaving aside the hormone levels, in the case of learned behaviours, one of the prime motivators for pushing people into homosexuality is the excessive conditional love placed on certain individuals by a L-brain society (e.g. you must have a job and be earning enough money before you can socialise and eventually have sex and have children; you must be a man and act like one and achieve certain male things before getting the love you require; you must have sex at a young enough age whether or not you are physically and psychologically ready for it at an earlier age and do it with the opposite sex; or you have to be this kind of person or that before we give you the love you need) as well as all the other various social stresses men (and perhaps some women) have to endure when surviving in a modern and supposedly advanced L-brain and yet potentially unemotional society.

This learned behaviour is quite common among people held in prisons and in some quarters of the defence forces (e.g. on Navy ships forced to intermingle in close quarters with colleagues of the same sex isolated for long periods at sea). Because these places are highly restrictive and tend to isolate the genders into their own special areas for long periods of time, it is not unusual for homosexual tendencies to develop within both females and males.

In extreme situations where a person loses interest sexually in the opposite sex and has no inclination for sex with the same gender, people can become described as asexual. People with very busy lives without having an intimate relationship of any kind with someone are usually likely to fall into this category.

What society does not always realise is that every human being deserves to be loved no matter who they are. It is a basic right of every human being. If, for any reason, people are restricted in their ability to seek that love (whether it is through sex, a hug, a positive word of encouragement, or some other means), people will eventually find avenues to create that love (whether it is through masturbation, homosexuality or other areas). It is natural (irrespective of whether people in the Christian movement think otherwise). Every living thing needs love.

And through love the body and mind has a way to balance certain extreme situations in the environment, whether it is through same or opposite sex relationships, or to find something else people love to do (but hopefully in a balanced way).

Fortunately even a few broad-minded Christians who fully understand the principle of love can understand this point.

However, for others this Christian thinking is not so much the question of love, but rather the way love is expressed to others which is either right or wrong and this in turn changes the way Christians will love others. In the case of homosexual or lesbian relationships, the majority of Christians seem to view them as wrong. They feel the aim of this type of sex is to gain physical pleasure only which, in their opinion, is not natural and goes again the primary aim of sex &$151 predominantly to reproduce the species. As apparent support for this Christian position, Christians will often use the teachings of previous great religious leaders of the past. A classic example is the teachings of a Christian philosopher and theologian named St Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274). According to the beliefs he developed during his lifetime based on his experiences in Europe at the time (and with far fewer humans around to populate the continent), humans had specific purposes to perform in life of which to "reproduce" is the primary function. Hence the modern Christian has interpreted this to mean that if sex is not aimed at reproducing the species, then the act itself must be wrong and, therefore, goes against God's teachings.

Well, if life was as simple as that, people with homosexual tendencies would already be in trouble with God. For as St Thomas Aquinas argues in his Natural Law theory, same sex doesn't lead to the species being able to reproduce. The aim of homosexual acts is to obtain pleasure and that is considered wrong under Christian teachings.

In other words, there should not be sex between the same sex as it does not fulfil God's primary purpose for our lives and therefore, for whatever reason people seek homosexual relationships, should be denied the love they deserve.

And what's the solution according to the Christians if it is wrong? The aim is to change the behaviour and make it lean toward the heterosexual kind using whatever method is available to them. It is not clear whether certain methods involve exercises in exorcism or some other means to try to drive out the homosexual demons presumably residing in these people. But if there is any way the behaviour can be changed, Christians would be in favour of it.

So how successful have the Christians been with this approach? As at time of writing, the aim of Christians to change the sexual preferences of individuals still remains as elusive as ever.

Does this mean that a person who chooses to be homosexual cannot be changed? No. But the question we should be asking is, Why should we change someone's sexual preferences? The more we try to change people and deny them love if they don't, the more likely they will remain the same person and getting the same love through their preferred sexual choices for virtually the rest of their lives.

And what's the inherent disadvantage in people seeking love through the same gender?

People are entitled to choose whatever makes them, and others with similar tendencies and feelings, happy. We do not have the right to interference in other people's lives if what they are doing is not harmful to anyone else (if they are, look away and get on with your own life, and let others express their own form of love). Should people choose to have a preference with the same sex, let them be. The decision to change, if they ever so choose, is totally up to them. And if they don't, they do not deserve any less love than a heterosexual individual.

And, anyway, are there not enough heterosexual couples to make babies to maintain the human population? In fact, come to think of it, the number of heterosexual relationships are doing too much of a good job to the point where now some scientists are questioning the size of the human population and its affect on the environment. Perhaps we need more homosexual couples if heterosexual couples are not willing to put on a condom.

So what's wrong with Christians not being able to extend the principle of love they should have been taught from the Bible to include every human being no matter what their sexual preference might be?

Then same is true of heterosexual couples who may decide to explore same sex relationships for whatever reason. Christians should not be in bed with these couples telling them it is wrong and, therefore, should be denied the love.

And if people don't want to consider same sex relationships, that is fine too. Again we have no right to change the sexual preferences of a heterosexual any more than we can for homosexuals and lesbians. So why do it? Start to accept people for who they are and their unique individuality and contribution to society. Let them, in the right environment of love, decide how they wish to become in the future. And whatever decision they do make, the love should not change for them. It should be there as clear and strong as it was the moment they were born.

At the end of the day, people should be allowed to find the love they need through any reasonable avenue or are genetically pre-dispositioned (without expecting others to do the same as part of the principle of non-interference). And should other people be permitted to play a part in that love, it should be consensual and done in the safest and most positive way possible for all concerned. It is not up to us to tell other people what they should do, and especially if what others are doing is a form of love.

Likewise, Christians seem very quick to judge prostitutes as not deserving of love. This is not how Jesus viewed the situation for these women. Whether or not he later married or had an intimate relationship with one through a woman named Mary Magdelene (depicted as a woman who Jesus had allegedly healed of demon possession possibly due to her profession, although it isn't entirely clear if this is the case), Jesus never saw prostitutes as deserving of less love.

Indeed, Jesus tried to make a point of this by making Mary Magdalene his first apostle to show to the men in his group that women should be treated equally and are able to hold a position of power just like any other.

In John 8:3-11:


The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, ‘Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now, what do you say?’ They were using this question as a trap to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ ‘No one, sir,’ she said. ‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared. ‘Go now and leave your life of sin.’

In The Wake Up Report: The Mystery of Mary Magdalene,published in July 2007, Larry Wilson argues, from a lawyer's perspective given what the laws were probably like in Jesus' time and place including the people present at the woman's day of judgement and the people who weren't mentioned (i.e. the husband of the woman if she was married, suggesting she was unmarried or a widow), there is no difference between adultery and prostitution:

When it comes to sexual immorality, God’s Word indicates there is one difference between fornication and adultery. Fornication occurs between unmarried people, whereas adultery occurs when a married person has a sexual experience with someone other than his or her spouse. When adultery occurs between two married people, the faithful spouses become plaintiffs (that is, the parties seeking restitution). If a single woman is caught having a sexual relationship with a married man, there are still two plaintiffs – the faithful spouse or the next of kin, and the witnesses who caught the pair in the act. This woman was caught in the act of adultery and there was no husband seeking justice. Since there was no mention of an adulterous man in John 8, it appears the witnesses were her plaintiffs. So, on the face of what is reported in Scripture, it appears the woman was likely an unmarried prostitute, and it is quite possible that the teachers and Pharisees knew of her promiscuous life (her past life of sin) prior to this event. If this is indeed true, the teachers and Pharisees had an airtight case for testing Jesus on the Law of Moses because at the time of this test, stoning a prostitute was legally defensible in Israel. The teachers and Pharisees concocted this test because they wanted to see if Jesus would uphold or subvert the Law of Moses. If Jesus said the woman should not be stoned, then Jesus would be found guilty of blasphemy (diminishing the Law of Moses). How clever of them!

And cleverer of Jesus to turn the tables on the teachers and Pharisees by silencing his adversaries through his powerful insight into the men of the town and how they probably indirectly supported the woman and her profession. Because if any man tried to throw a stone at the woman to kill her thinking they are free of sin and entitled to make this judgement and action, they need to think again. Otherwise the men themselves should be condemned to death as well.

Wilson also argues another interesting point that the woman in question of committing the sin of adultery (or prostitution) could well have been Mary Magdalene.

At any rate, we do Jesus does have a kind of soft spot for women in prostitution. There is a quote in the Bible suggesting a prostitute had washed the feet of Jesus. If this is true, far from being disgusted, Jesus accepted her as an equal and loved her as any other person.

Shouldn't this teach us something?

Why should we treat prostitutes differently from any other human being? And why should the Church be male-dominated at the leadership positions when Jesus saw women as equal partners and able to hold leadership positions just as well as any male? It is clear Jesus made the point of proving this by allowing Mary Magdalene his first apostle.

As for the actions of prostitutes, these women have no other option to survive but choose this type of profession (because that is the way society has developed — there is an expectation that people will find a way to earn money without other people helping each other to determine what it is people should do. We just don't provide the education and other forms of help needed by all the people to know what to do and achieve something great for society. So why judge prostitutes when everyone else is preoccupied with their own lives and doing their own things and not helping other people? And even if women still choose prostitution (most likely they won't if the opportunity presents itself for the women to do something different), what's wrong with this form of love so long as women look after their health and the health of their clients, and enjoy the experience? If they wish to change, just love them as they are and teach them things that will help them to survive in a different way and can focus their love on one person.

This is likely how Jesus saw it. Otherwise it would be pointless for Jesus to let the prostitute hold a position of power in his group if he thought there was no opportunity to help the woman and teach her something different.

If Christians are so hung up by these sorts of people (just like homosexuals and lesbians), why is it that a fragment of an ancient scroll written and carbon-dated to between the 2nd and 4th century A.D., and a gnostic gospel not included in the Bible known as the Book of Philip, suggest Jesus was very close to a prostitute (or a prostitute who reformed herself with Jesus' help and wanted to love this one man for the rest of her life) and confided with her his teachings in private while kissing her on an intimate spot on her face for which the two decided to reveal this behaviour to other disciples (all of them men)? In the Book of Philip it claims the relationship was so close that Jesus would kiss her on the mouth. When the other disciples saw this, it shocked them. Why? Apparently it was not seen openly and would not happen with Jesus' sister or mother. But, for some reason, this second woman named Mary (the mother of Jesus is the first woman to be named Mary), Jesus' personal companion, he would show more intimate behaviour and took a risk in front of others to show this as a means of testing their understanding of the principle of love. As stated:

And the companion of the Savior is Mary Magdalene. But Christ loved her more than all the disciples and used to kiss her often on her mouth. The rest of the disciples were offended by it and expressed disapproval. They said to him, ‘Why do you love her more than all of us?’ The Savior answered and said to them, ‘Why do I not love you like her?’ When a blind man and one who sees are both together in darkness, they are no different from one another. Then the light comes, then he who sees will see the light, and he who is blind will remain in darkness” (sections 63-63).

Is this because Jesus was an unmarried man and the disciples saw a problem with this? Or was this because Mary was once a prostitute and thought did would re-kindle the original sin?

In the scroll fragment no larger than a business card, Harvard scholar Karen King ignites the controversy by stating the writings suggest Jesus supposedly referred to someone as "his wife". And below this phrase, it allegedly stated "...she will be able to be my disciple". If this is true, King has named this piece of scroll as the Book of Jesus' Wife, whoever she is.

The only person to be very close to Jesus at the time he was alive was Mary of Magdalene.

Did Mary reform herself to being faithful to one man with the help of Jesus and his teachings and eventually married him? Or perhaps it doesn't matter, so long as people treat prostitutes with love. Whether prostitutes do something different depends on what we do for them. Love them in the right way and the more likely they will change.

But if there is no change, does it matter? What's the benefit of the prostitution? If a woman already receives the money or food, water and companionship from one person, she would not need to prostitute herself. But if not, all she is doing is providing love to others so long as others are not married in return for what she needs to survive and be happy. Prostitutes need love just like anyone else. The man who receives the love must be someone who is not married. If not, he too is committing a sin just as great as the woman who prostitutes herself to the man knowing he has a woman. And any man who claims the prostitute is living in sin needs to include himself in the picture. But if a person is not married, what then? What if she has her own needs just as much as Jesus was a man who, in return for needing to be independent and achieving some great aim for society, had similar feelings to share his love in more intimate ways with someone? She could have helped many different unmarried men, but she may have chosen to stick to one man — Jesus. If he didn't see her in any way to suggest his physical needs might need to be met by some means and Mary was there to help, would anyone really know? But if Jesus was more intimate with her, again would anyone have known? Apparently the disciples didn't know. And when the decision was made for Jesus and Mary to show more affection in front of others, it concerned others (predominantly the males) when, in fact, it shouldn't if they had understood the principle of love properly. So whether or not he married may be irrelevant. It sounds like Jesus may have expressed love in a deeper way with Mary while teaching her privately of his ideas and this may have helped to transform the woman to being more devoted to one man as well as become a teacher of his teachings.

There may well have been a possible sexual relationship between Jesus and Mary, but we can't prove it. Whatever the truth, the two began to take a risk to see what happens by opening up a little. Perhaps it was nothing more than a test. Or maybe there was a secret relationship. Either way, the result among the disciples was interesting to say the least.

Is this a test of how well we have truly understood the principle of love?

As for the scroll fragment, it looks like Jesus probably did marry Mary (or some unnamed woman, although given the close relationship to Mary Magdalene as a " companion" and with no other women in his life and the limited time he would be around, apart from allowing his sister sibling and mother to tag along, it would be hard to imagine Jesus running out to find another woman and then start again spending time doing all this work of teaching another person before marrying her, and indeed the term "companion" can have a whole lot of different connotations or meanings as to precisely what this meant in Jesus' time). But again we can't quite prove it. Certainly all the disciples were clearly concerned about the relationship. The kissing action was one thing suggesting the possibility of an unmarried relationship, or a relationship with a former prostitute, was causing problems to the male disciples, but the other thing was the fact that Jesus let a woman become a disciple. Jesus didn't see what's wrong with a woman becoming a disciple. There should be no problem. A woman can learn and understand the essential teachings just as well as any man. This was something Jesus may have wanted to prove to his existing disciples, a way to test their understanding of the principle of love and make them realise all men and women should be treated equally and with love.

Whether or not this is true, the untold story of Jesus through the scroll fragment and at least one gnostic gospel tells us another thing about the Bible available to people today. Why leave out all the evidence of every ancient scroll and books written by others at around the same time as the other gospels, just because some people at the head of the Church want to decide what the rest of the Christian community should read in the Bible? Get the complete facts in one book. And then ask, why would Jesus have been intimate with a woman who may have been a prostitute and possibly later married her? Is there something we can learn from this and how this relates to the principle of love?

So what does this mean for same-sex couples?

Well, so long as the choices people make do not cause other people to suffer from sexual diseases (i.e., the same diseases can be found among heterosexual couples, which means any sexual activity should be done as safely as possible as a show of true love), the activity of homosexual or heterosexual sex, or even healthy prostitution between consensual and unmarried individuals, should be seen as expressions of love that go to the heart of what society should be aiming for — to love people for who they are, and in return great things will be achieved by all individuals.

And don't think for a moment we can stop sex among the same gender, let alone among opposite genders. Not even the Chinese Government can control the situation (although for opposite genders it probably helps to wear a condom so as not to make it too obvious sex had taken place, but naturally much easier to manage for same sex couples).

It is all about people having the love they deserve. And love cannot be taken out of any situation, no matter how L-brain or restrictive a society may impose its laws or views among the people.

The same is true for heterosexual people in the workplace. This is why people like ACTU assistant secretary Richard Marles have said:

"Studies have shown that one of the significant effects of working long hours — and Australians work some of the longest hours in the world — is that people are having less sex at home, so it should not be surprising if it happens in the workplace." (Purcell, Charles. No sex, please - we're working: The Sydney Morning Herald (My Career supplement). 2-3 April 2005, p.1.)

Even some psychologists agree sex is an important part of people's lives which cannot be totally restricted.

Naturally one person in favour of sex in the workplace or elsewhere is Robbie Swan, co-ordinator of the sex industry lobby group the Eros Association based in Canberra. Swan said:

"Psychologists say we're supposed to have a sexual thought every nine or 12 seconds.

'People have every right to have sex at work under the right conditions. It it doesn't interfere with their work — or that you're not doing it in someone's face so they'd be offended — it's no one else's business." (Purcell, Charles. No sex, please - we're working: The Sydney Morning Herald (My Career supplement). 2-3 April 2005, p.1.)

The same is true in the prison system.

Indeed, for those locked up in prison, there is the potential for sex as a form of love to be used to change human behaviour for the good and long-term of great benefit to society.

The problem with L-brain society today is how people think that any crime should involve a continuous long-term punishment regime lasting for years or even the rest of the lives of the prisoners. But the result is an expensive exercise in maintaining order in a prison and with no prospect of improvement for the prisoners. If anything, the prisoners come out more hardened and with less emotion and more likely to re-offend because of the attitude society has shown to them.

So why not change the situation?

Sex is nature's powerful tool for activating the emotions, improving memory and getting new ideas and behaviours learned and reinforced.

In the case of men and women held for long periods of time in prison, for instance, with nothing immediate to look forward to and thus potentially little interest in learning or wanting to change one's own behaviour (i.e. lack of love), society should try a social experiment. Perhaps it is time we use sex as a powerful tool for accelerated learning. What would happen if we provide prisoners with this kind of reward at appropriate times when something has been learned? Do it enough times and how far can we rehabilitate prisoners and change their lives permanently?

Can rehabilitation of prisoners be achieved more quickly and made more permanent with a likelihood that they may be seen as worthy citizens able to contribute something positive to society and so save out resources and time? Or do we want to drive the humanity and emotions out of prisoners because we want to show our revenge on people?

For example, if a prisoner successfully achieves something significant such as learning a useful skill (e.g. negotiation, conflict resolution, managing stress, relating to other people in a peaceful way, carpentry and making things etc), exercising to a certain level of fitness (understanding the importance of good health), and acquiring some other positive forms of knowledge they can apply for themselves (e.g. safe sex etc), he/she should be allowed access and have private time to his/her partner.

The partner could be a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband living outside the prison who visits the prisoner. Or, it may be possible in one bold move to allow male and female prisoners to meet and talk before they go away and decide on who they like to consider having sex with.

If the prisoner does not want to learn something, the reward should be delayed. Peer pressure from prison inmates will evemtually change the behaviour through regular talking until something is learned.

How often should it be done? Positive reinforcements for prisoners through sex should be done within a reasonable time frame. It should not take too long or the prisoners will be unable to stay focussed on the learning (although this will improve over time). But it mustn't be too short or there is no substantial learning achieved. Prisoners need goals to reach for and should be easily achievable within a reasonable time frame if they want to do the right thing and are willing to learn (which shouldn't be a problem when the issue of sex is discussed).

Perhaps on a monthly basis might be a good start. Or, in the early stages, depending on the nature of the crimes committed by some prisoners and how ready they are, they may need to acquire certain skills and knowledge over a period of, say, 6 to 12 months (or maybe longer) before they have reached a level where they can be considered safe and responsible enough to be rewarded through sex.

It will have to be conducted on a case-by-case basis to determine when is a suitable time to implement the reward.

Then, after a period of time of learning and regular reinforcement within the walls of the prison, when a prisoner does get released into the community, he/she will understand the importance of looking after other people, have skills they need to get jobs, and think positively about life. In fact, everyone is in need of love. Once prisoners experience love, they will show the love back to the community and soon they will find a partner who will reward them (perhaps someone from prison life). Eventually the prisoners can marry the person they love who will always keep them on the straight and narrow for the rest of their lives.

And if that is successful, why not consider establishing a sex competition among male and female prisoners and/or their partners? Every four years, start the sex olympics in prison. Couples can decide which competition they want to go into to show how skilled they are in the art of making love instead of how L-brain their sex can be.

Or why not give male and female prisoners something to talk about and get their minds off the negative aspects of their lives (especially of the past) by going into sex competitions among themselves as they try out new ideas such as testing their sexual endurance or prowess or, with careful practice and protection, how quickly they can accomplish sex? Or perhaps a variety of different female prisoners may want to be more adventurous in what they want to do?

Even a strong, large female prison guard could provide some reward to select prisoners by having them tied down and rewarded sexually in a certain way.

Perhaps more facesitting and tying up male prisoners to the floor would be the way to go?

For instance, let female prisoners find out what it is like to feel for a couple of minutes the penises of many different male prisoners (all blindfolded and naturally wearing a condom) and then mark on a score card what they thought about the experience. The male prisoner will naturally be happy to participate in the competition (even for the brief couple of minutes of having something warm, wet and firm covering their penis with very limited movement). And the one who scores the highest from all the females will win the competition. It may also teach the men that having the biggest penis and coming quickly may not necessarily help you to win the competition (especially when females come in different body sizes and ideas about what makes great sex for them). You have to think about the other person who is experiencing your penis as well. A very powerful concept to learn for a man.

In the meantime, female prisoners can take away the experience of knowing what it is like (and it may even help them to reach their own orgasms if they choose as a reward during the challenges) so next time they will want to learn more and prepare for the next event or reward.

Similarly let male prisoners enjoy the experience and later talk about the positives of what happened to them. Then they are likely to permanently change their behaviours for the better in order to receive more of the same rewards in the future.

As another example, why not have male prisoners tied down and blindfolded on old mattresses (there shouldn't be any problems here #151 let the males supply their own mattresses so they can smell the results from the females prisoners as a further reward and the next goal to look forward to) and let them test their ability to perform cunninlingus on the female prisoners sitting on their faces. Not every female prisoner may feel comfortable in having proper sex with a male prisoner, so why not try this out as a form of competition? See how quickly a male prisoner can help a woman to achieve orgasm. The male prisoner who does the best job in the quickest time to get a female prisoner to reach orgasm will win the competition. And it will allow even the least attractive female prisoner to get rewarded too.

As they say, even the ugly ones can get laid too.

Or, if some female prisoners do want to experience the feeling of having a penis inside their vaginas and reach a climax (probably wouldn't be hard if they've been in prison long enough and know how well controlled the situation has been set up for them and with the added protection provided by a condom), then fine. This is the reward for female prisoners who have achieved certain milestones. Indeed why not set up two competitions #151 one for the males and the other for females. The females on top can find ways to get the male underneath to come first. If so, the female who achieves a climax in the male first before any other woman can will win the competition. As for the males, their aim is to be the last person standing (or "lying down" as the case may be) that hasn't spilt his seed in his condom. If a male achieves this, he wins the competition.

To add to a bit of interest to the spectacle for those watching the event (prison guards and other prisoners), consider using a stopwatch to time each sexual intercourse to last for 60 seconds. If none of the women succeed in their quest, the women lift themselves off and move to the next partner. They have another 60 seconds to remove the old condom and put a fresh one on and straddle the males' bodies in readiness to insert the penis. Any female who is not ready on time may be disqualified, thereby giving the man a brief rest and a better chance of winning his competition without the pressure of having a woman on top. Then as soon as the person with the stopwatch says, "Go", the women can immediately insert the penis inside and begin their form of sexual intercourse with the man.

Perhaps in the early stages, all the female competitors will learn to develop strategies on how to win. It is possible, for example, in the first round or two for women to take their time to explore the male body and prepare their own body. Perhaps the intercourse will be slow and deliberate to allow women to look around and see what the other female competitors are doing. Or some may take the risk of going fast and furious for 60 seconds in the hope of achieving an outcome. However the risk is that a woman may reach her climax first and may have trouble maintaining her sexual interest. Or she may get rewarded and win the competition. Or the next woman may take over and have an advantage in achieving her aims. Whatever the approach, each female prisoner will decide how they wish to proceed.

The women can talk. They can even team up with friends and find ways to win the competition. There is no pressure on any of the female prisoners. If a female prisoner chooses to withdraw from the competition because she can't keep it going long enough to achieve the outcome she seeks, this is fine too. There should be no pressure. It is just that she will not get the opportunity to win the competition.

It also teaches men to realise the universe of sex is not centered around their penis all the time.

If male and female prisoners do win certain competitions and start to show significant understanding of the importance of thinking about the other person, additional rewards should be provided (perhaps a shortening of their prison sentence).

The idea is radical and not everyone may agree with this approach. But any other way (including turning sex into a privilege or even something which should be denied within prisons) would slow down the rehabilitation process, be very expensive, and will not guarantee to help prisoners change their lives right around for the long-term. It is better to use the carrot rather than the stick in changing behaviour.

We may restrict the liberty of people who are held in prison, but we should not deny their humanity and hope for the future.

Are we willing to try something different in the 21st century and beyond?

Paedophilia or child sex offenders is something worth discussing. On a superficial analysis of the issue, we notice these behaviours appear to occur among L-brain types. In essence, it has something to do with the way the brain has been wired during learning to link certain patterns observed through the eyes and have the patterns directly link to the deep positive emotions and primitive behaviours associated with human reproduction. There is something about L-brain types where this situation of observing and acting or responding immediately in a sexual sense becomes much more prevalent, even when the person at the receiving end of this behaviour may be considered far too young to handle the experience. On the other hand, R-brain types don't find themselves in this situation because they have the power to break the link and avoid spontaneous application of their behaviour simply by visualising the situation carefully and choosing whether or not to see anything of a sexual nature in what is being observed.

Among the issues considered by R-brain types is how the laws of a country define the minimum age of consent for sex.

For example, in a L-brain society familiar with the range of problems associated with L-brain behaviour, laws are likely to be established to help solve a fear within the community of any form of sexual activity by persons under a certain age described by them as "children" with an older person where it might be seen as a form of "taking advantage" of the minor and that the minor has no idea or knowledge about sex and what to do. This is seen as paedophilia among members of the L-brain society. As such, R-brain types are sensitive to the laws and will avoid getting involved in sex with what L-brain types call "children" (or minors).

On the other hand, where the community or country is more relaxed in the laws because people have understood something about the sexual development of young people at a certain age, children who actively seek out sex have to be seen as "young adults" and therefore able to make their own choices. Should this be the case, this may be the only time a R-brain person may choose to get involved sexually with a younger person. And even then, a R-brain person will still carefully way up the situation to determine other factors before making a decision.

And should more people develop strong R-brain skills, paedophilia cannot become a reality. Why? Because R-brain people need to be asked by, say, a young person to have sex, which we know is virtually impossible if the young person does not know anything about sex, ie. a genuine child). Even in the rare circumstance where the young person does know and gives consent (written or verbal) and shows evidence of his/her understanding of sex by preparing him/herself for the experience (and may even allow pictures to be taken to prove it where the laws of the country are more concerned about consent rather than age), R-brain people will still weigh up the situation carefully to see if the young person and society as a whole is ready.

Consequently R-brain types will have a thorough understanding of the physical, emotional and psychological limitations of a partner who is considered too young.

However, in L-brain countries where laws and regulations are over the top in an attempt to control every conceivable L-brain behaviour that people can come up with, R-brain types have an additional factor to consider: the legal age of consent.

For example, a R-brain type in Australia will have to say "No" to any young person because of the legal age of consent required to engage in sex, which is at least 16 years (and usually 18 years when showing images of a naked young person). In Europe, the law is such that the young person involved must give clear consent and show evidence of a deep understanding of sex. And even then the R-brain person will weigh up other factors to determine if the young person is ready.

Indeed, in Europe, it is not unusual to find pictures on the internet showing an older European man choosing to be tied down and blindfolded on a bed in a hotel or at home and letting a younger European female teenager (i.e. a schoolgirl) explore her sexual fantasies with the man. Pictures are taken to prove the teenager had actively sought out her sexual desires and fantasies with the man by the way she sits on top of him, takes her clothes off at various stages, moves her body forward to allow the man to lick between her legs, to show curiosity at the man's penis as it grows, to taste and lick it for herself, to take the rest of her clothes off and then sit on top of the man's penis (sometimes without penetration). If sex does take place, a condom would be used. And the pictures would only be there to prove legally in a European court that she had given her consent. In Europe, this would be seen as legally protecting the man.

In Australia, on the other hand, the presence of these pictures (if detected) would be seen as incriminating the man and is likely to face prosecution irrespective of what the teenager says in a court of law or how it appears in the pictures. Australian authorities will assume the teenager was forced into doing the sexual act because he/she doesn't understand sex and therefore classified as a child. Perhaps the only exception to this rule is if, say, the man had been overpowered by a group of nasty schoolgirls, was brought down and pinned to the floor, and was forced to satisfy one or more of the girls' sexual fantasies or else feel threatened with his life. Of course, this would be a totally different situation under Australian law. For the man could argue, if the authorities found out, he was raped (and this assumes the man decides to mention it to the authorities).

Or it might happen that a woman aged over 18 years invites you to her house thinking you might be having sex with her. Realising it is legal and safe, you arrive at her house, meet the woman, and eventually end up in the bedroom. She asks if she can blindfold you and tie you down on the bed. Don't sound too bad. You say, "Okay". Assuming she is not trying to steal your wallet or something, you are assured sex will take place. All you know is that the woman is the only person in the house, so it has to be her. You get blindfolded and tied to the bed. A moment later she says she is preparing herself. The next moment you feel what you believe to be her body next to you. You can smell the feminine odour telling you it is a female. You assume it is her. She suddenly straddles your head and places her bottom on your face so you can smell her sex. She may lie down and perform some oral sex with you. Later she gets excited enough to want to try feeling your manhood deep inside of her. She moves around and straddles your thighs. She comes down and lets it penetrate her feminine lips below. She increasingly gets more excited, riding the thing that gives her pleasure. She reaches climax. Then you are allowed to reach yours. She gets off you, and dresses up. She unties you and removes the blindfold. She gives you a big kiss and says, "Thank you", and you both part your ways. And you walk through life thinking you had sex with the woman. But what really happened is that another female, a girl aged, say, 12 years, has quietly entered the room. Already prepared, she was the one who wanted to sexually experiment with you as the older woman watched. If you didn't know this, how can you tell the difference? It feels the same. The body of the female seems to be about right, but you can't be sure. So how do you know what really happened?

Well, this is another way it can happen in Australia, or anywhere else where under-age sex may take place.

But let's assume a more normal situation of two people at different ages who may potentially have sex with each other and both people are aware of the differences, the age of consent will vary significantly between different countries and how the authorities will behave in accordance with the laws.

Why the difference in the legal age of consent? We have to realise our language to describe a person who is sexually ready is somewhat limited, and our understanding of when people sexually develop is also limited or varies so much between so many different people and in various countries. For example, in Western society, young people tend to mature sexually as early as 10 or 11 years old (and possibly even younger) and there are more 12 year olds who are physically ready to have sex or can experience the pleasures of rubbing their clitoris (girls usually starting earlier than boys) in society today than there were nearly 50 years ago due to higher quality nutrition in the diet, exercise and access to greater amounts of information on a wide range of topics through the internet and other sources. Parents who lived as a child 50 years ago will naturally see these sorts of young people today as children even if they are 12 years old and sexually ready, or 25 years of age if they are not able to let go of the "children status" for their offsprings. To others, especially among teenagers getting together to experiment in sex (often in the privacy of a friend's bedroom), young people no longer see each other as children if they are able to engage in sex.

This is the moment when young people start to see themselves as "young adults".

Therefore when children become "young adults" varies considerably depending on the views of parents, the young people themselves, as well as the legislators that summarise their own and other people's understanding of human sexual development in their own country through the laws they develop to govern sexual behaviour. For the children, becoming a "young adult" is effectively soon after puberty and the moment they decide to try out sex with another person.

NOTE: Puberty is when certain hormones are released for activating the human reproduction system, getting the body ready to attract the opposite sex (such as the nipples of girls enlarge and darken, pelvis becomes wider, vaginal discharge increases, breasts develop, genitals become darker in colour, and ovulation begins followed by menstruation; whereas boys have sudden growth spurts, the voice becomes deeper, sweating increases, pubic hair grows, sperm is produced and ejaculation is discovered, and the penis and testicles enlarge and darken, with the penis more likely to undergo erections), and develop new feelings suggesting a need to fulfil certain physical urges resulting in pleasurable outcomes achieved through masturbation and eventually through sex. Puberty is also the time for parents to start letting their children become more independent and give them free time to be on their own so they can explore those feelings and understand how the body works. It is also a good time to ensure children have access to quality sex education material so the purpose for having those feelings and body changes can be understood. Then they can make their own decisions on what to do next and how to control their desires.

For example, in Australia, the simplest road has been taken based on knowledge from the 1950s or earlier and therefore the age limit has been set to at least 16 years (and with permission from the parents should marriage take place). At or above this age, the law requires consent to be given for sex to be seen as legal. Anything under this age limit is illegal irrespective of the knowledge of the "young adult" has about sex and whether or not consent is given. In Europe, however, the difficulties in knowing when children become adults (i.e. able to engage in sexual activity) has been understood. Combined with a large population and the difficulty in controlling every conceivable behaviour, and European authorities find it easier to resolve the issue simply by asking whether consent was given by the minor and whether there is indication of an understanding of the issues surrounding sex. If so, it is considered legal. If not, it becomes illegal.

It just makes sense in order to save the authorities wasting money on cases that don't need to go through the court system.

But in a country where the population is small such as in Australia (approximately 22 million as of 2011), even the tiniest suggestion that illegal sex with a young person may have taken place is likely to see the authorities running around in a fit and pouring all their resources to finding the young person and obtaining any evidence that might suggest such an illegal activity may have taken place. It is even more dramatic should the country be Christian-based.

And it doesn't matter if consent had been given. In Australia, consent is not considered relevant.

Fortunately in the UK, consent is considered in such circumstances so long as the age is not considered "too young". But other factors must not complicate the situation. For example, if an adult is found to be in a position of trust considered at the professional level by society, there is an expectation that the adult will not abuse his/her authority or position to give the impression that he/she is trying to gain advantage in some way over a young person under his/her authority or care. The only way this might change if the couple had meet by change in a casual encounter on the street or some public place and both agreed on whatever they wanted to do together. However, if the encounter is in a teacher-to-student relationship, the authorities would automatically assume sexual abuse to the young person. But even in this situation, not everyone agrees. For example, in a rare move by what society would have described as a"victim of a pedophile", the girl at the certain of this case had lashed out at authorities for sending to prison her mathematics teacher claiming she was in love with him, actively sought the sex with him, and even when the teacher was caught by authorities and sentenced to prison, she still wanted to support him by saying she wanted to be the mother of his children. Even more extraordinary was the way the girl's father had not said it was wrong. In fact, he agreed with his daughter and even visited the teacher in prison thanking him for looking after her. And if this wasn't enough, the 16-year-old British girl and teacher had been chased around through France for about a week as the couple tried to evade the police. Not exactly evidence of a sexually abused child needing help from the authorities. When the couple was finally tracked down and caught, the mathematics teacher was charged with child sex offences even though the girl said in evidence that she had encouraged the relationship.

The teacher was jailed for five-and-a-half years. In an unusual twist, the judge allowed the girl to visit him in jail.

The only problem that occurred here was the fact that for the teacher in a position that was expected that he cared in the professional teacher-to-student relationship, he agreed to do as the girl wanted when, in actuality, he should have refused.

But if this sort of thing would happen again (and there is no reason it wouldn't), it might be better for the girl to dress up in casual clothes, wears a wig, and finds the teacher wandering in a public place, and strikes up a conversation. Then any sex that might occur would probably have not raised the attention of the authorities whatsoever. Just another girl and a guy getting together.

And perhaps the most important thing is make sure neither persons in the relationship attempt to look younger than expected. If anything, the opposite should be achieved. Try to make each person look like they are much older than they really are.

If not, then this is where the problem lies. Look too young, and you can be subject to investigations by the authorities, especially if members of the public think who you go out with is "not normal".

But where the age is genuinely too young and no amount of hiding can conceal the age, don't be surprised if adults do get into trouble with the law.

Thus pictures of naked young people as young as 12 years old in Australia is likely to attract the attention of the Australian authorities because it can, under law, be described as "paedophilia" and, therefore, seen as illegal to the authorities. Although there is a law that allows artists to display a picture of a partially or completely naked child for art purposes (and where consent is given by the parents and the young person involved), people in Australia are more likely to still take offence in viewing such pictures irrespective of their artistic merit. On the other hand, in Europe (if consent is clearly given and the young person understands what is happening) it is more naturally seen as a form of art, or the sharing of love between two "adults" if there is any form of sexual activity taking place.

All these things are just some of the aspects a R-brain person will consider.

And yet another factor a R-brain person must consider even when all other factors seem okay is the biological issue. From a biological standpoint, at what point does the body of a young person can handle sexual intercourse.

Another important issue, in case the question of someone wanting to have babies is brought up, is at what age do young people begin to produce eggs or sperm for human reproduction? And can the body carry through the full term of the pregnancy?

News of Britain's youngest mother has surfaced in 2006. Tressa Middleton was aged 11 years when she gave birth to a healthy baby. However, we learn of the horrific circumstances in which she fell pregnant. The father of the baby turned out to be her brother. At first Tressa attempted to hide the fact by claiming she fell pregnant by a local boy. However, further investigations by authorities revealed it was her brother who repeatedly raped the girl. She had to give up her baby for adoption due to depression resulting from her experiences with the brother. After a long battle with drugs and alcohol, she now feels ready to have a second child at age 18 years after entering into a happy and stable relationship with a 25-year-old mechanic. Leaving aside the appalling way she was treated leading to her pregnancy, this information would suggest that her body was able to produce eggs and become fertilised at the age of 10 years.

Yet this isn't the earliest age.

Further evidence has emerged of another case in Brazil where, again, under inappropriate circumstances, the father had engaged in repeated sex with her daughter until she got pregnant at the age of 9 years. This story received even greater international attention when it was learnt a Catholic priest in that country had not ex-communicated the father from the religion in which he and his family attended but instead denied the girl the right to an abortion (although it isn't clear whether this is what she wanted). But we see how doctors recommended the abortion option for the girl due to her body size suggesting a grave concern for the girl's life should she try to carry the baby through its full term. However the priest was against the idea.

Incest is another issue we will discuss later. But if we were to look at the situation biologically speaking, we can see that at 8 years of age, it is physically possible for a girl to have sex and, as it would appear, at 9 years of age to get pregnant.

This is not to say it is perfectly fine to have sex with an 8 or 9 year old girl in any part of the world. There is clearly a biological issue concerning the size of the girl's body to carry through the pregnancy. Also the size of the vagina at this age and the size of the penis from a man are usually not compatible in the sense the penis is often too large to be accommodated inside the vagina. Not even at the age of 13 years for some girls as the following case reveals:

A tragic case of a 13-year-old Yemeni girl named Ilham Mahdi al Assi forced into an arranged marriage under local traditions was also forced into having sex with her newly-wed and older husband. The result was that the girl's sex organs ruptured and bled excessively. She was taken to hospital but died on 2 April 2010.

On the other hand, when a 9 year old girl is able to have repeated sex without any signs of physical damage (as far as can be revealed by the authorities in the above cases), what then? Well, the critical thing is to make sure it is not forced upon the girl to have sex. In the cases above, we see the inappropriate pressure being placed on the girls involved to fulfil the sexual needs of the males (whether or not it comes from within or outside the family). But what if a 9-year-old girl did choose to experiment sexually with someone because she felt ready to try it out. What happens then?

It suggests such a scenario is rare, but not impossible.

Focussing on the biological aspects, the repeated nature of the sexual intercourse for the two youngest girls mentioned in the previous cases, both without injury, suggests the act of performing sex is not only possible, but highly probable. Whether or not this is the right thing to do, from a biological perspective, we see sex is physically achievable as young as 8 years of age.

Of course, this is not to say the more curious variety of 8 year-old girls should go ahead and practice sex with a trusted male even if consent is given and the female body is able to adapt to the circumstances. The likelihood she could have achieved some pleasure from it might be very high. But even so, there is still the question of pregnancy. And most importantly, is it right for this type of relationship to have taken place?

For such a young age of the girls involved in the previous cases, allowing the female body to get pregnant irrespective of the body size and with concerns by doctors of the risks in carrying the pregnancy to full term tells us the girls mentioned above were not given the appropriate and complete education they needed about sex. For if the education was there in the first place, the girls would know (i) when to say "No"; (ii) if the unwanted sexual act happens, to seek help; and (iii) understand the importance of wearing some form of protection to avoid getting pregnant.

As for the latter question, this is best answered by the girls involved after receiving the full and proper sex education they need to make a reasonable decision. They will know when it happens and with the right knowledge whether the relationship was right at the time and for the rest of their lives.

For example, how many girls at the age of 8 years really understand the biological purpose of sex? For the majority of girls, the problem is that at this age most if not nearly all are not likely to have understood the biological purposes of sex and what happens to the body when pregnancy does take place.

For this reason alone, girls of this age should never be pressured into any sexual activity with anyone.

As for the nature of the relationship itself, how many girls are aware that sex between the father and daughter should not take place for firm biological reasons, namely regarding the quality of the genetic material for producing a baby, let alone the physical issue of whether sex can take place? Not that it cannot take place. Sex is simply the intercourse of the penis inside a vagina and that's it. And there are cases where the separation of the father and daughter for a long time and their meeting together can, in rare circumstances, result in unexpected consequences as we shall see later. However, the big problem is that virtually all girls are not told of what happens and how to control the situation through adequate and appropriate sex education. If this is untrue in the case of the 9-year-old girl, the question is why did she allow the father to have repeated sex with her?

And why unprotected sex?

The only explanation is that, at least in the case of the girls from the UK and Brazil, she didn't have enough sex education at the time to know what was right or wrong and thus when to notify the authorities, not to mention the importance of using some form of contraception. It would appear the girls were probably threatened by the family member to do as they were told.

Okay. So let's change the situation slightly. What if a girl was having sex with a boyfriend (say, 15 years old) and she gave consent and she wanted to actively seek out the sexual experience? Should the boyfriend be found to have done the right thing by wearing a condom, is considerate to the girl, and there are no signs of damage to the sex organs, what then?

Some readers might be horrified by this. But the reality is that such a situation is happening in a number of places around the world as we speak. If a Brazilian girl aged 9 can have "repeated" sex with an older person (leaving aside the incest issue) without signs of physical damage and can lead to pregnancy (although the probability would have to be considered low, but clearly not zero), it would be quite feasible for a girl at this age to choose to have sex with another person. And in some places, it does happen, often behind closed doors. So what do we do in this situation?

One possible solution us to put a security camera in and around the house to watch the movements of every person entering the premises and to make sure the girl is not trying to do anything of a sexual nature with another person.

It doesn't seem very practical.

So all we have is legislation to set the recommended age of consent for an individual to have sex. So is the age of consent consistent throughout all nations?

In most European nations, the age of consent is set lower than in Australia for some reason as if there would be no grounds to see the activity as illegal so long as consent is given and the girl has shown every indications she has understood sex and the consequences arising from it and there has been no harm caused by the experience. For example, in Spain, it is claimed consensual sex at age 13 years is okay. But under 13 years and the activity is classified as child abuse. Other European nations have differing laws.

In Australia, however, it would be seen as illegal irrespective of consent and the extent of knowledge and sexual maturity the girl may have if sex takes place at the age of 15 or 16 years. The age of consent has to literally reach nearly 18 years of age or older before the restrictions are lifted.

But what if a knowledgeable and well-prepared girl below aged 13 years pursues the experience of sex with someone? What happens then?

The European model is often seen as more flexible. The aim for the European authorities on the whole is to focus more on whether consent was given by the girl. Beyond that, how extensive is the sex education of the girl who is seeking the experience with someone? And if no harm has occurred from the experience, if there anything the authorities can do to stop the situation from happening? Probably not. Given the cost of housing people in prisons for this sort of situation, it is easier for the European authorities to verify the facts with the girl first before pursuing other people.

In Australia, it is the opposite. There is no need to determine what the girl knows and whether consent was given. Rather, the focus is purely on the physical age and what the law says in terms of that age. Everything else does not matter.

Thus the level of sex education, for example, is not considered relevant to an Australian court.

Yet, in the case of the 9-year-old Brazilian girl, the only thing missing was adequate sex education. Sure, the girl had low self-esteem and being threatened not to talk about it would have played heavily on her fears not to report to the authorities. Nonetheless, it is a well-known fact that adequate knowledge does have a habit of overcoming any fear caused by threat as well as overcoming the lack of self-esteem. It is education on how to protect herself if she finds herself having sex, how to say "No" to a situation of incest or anyone who tries to force themselves on her as well as who to contact for help should it persist. And it is also a question of a lack of, or insufficient, sex education to know when repeated sex can eventually lead to pregnancy. On both counts, the lack of education had clearly failed the girl. Should the education had been there, the situation would not have got out-of-hand. If she still somehow got involved in sex, then after the first experience she would have gone to the authorities and notified them of what happened, thereby significantly reducing the chances of getting pregnant, and stopping the situation from being repeated.

Whether or not a young person can and should get involved in sex at a certain age appears immaterial. It is the education that will decide when a young person will choose to have sex and with whom. The law should only be there to support the decision of the young person.

This is why the European model was developed to take into account the differences in sexual maturity and physical development of girls and boys. So long as sex education is provided at a young enough age, there would be no social problems arising from sex should consent be given and the knowledge of sex is clear to everyone. In other words, if a girl fully understands sex and its purpose and says she is not ready, then she is not ready. End of story. Anyone who tries to force a girl to have sex will immediately find themselves in trouble with the law. But if she decides she is ready and has understood all aspects of sex including protection, pregnancy and the rest, how likely can parents and the rest of society control the situation? No doubt people will try. Maybe some people will attempt to hide sexy magazines in the newsagents and keep the girl locked up in the house for as long as possible. But ultimately a girl who decides she wants to experience sex will almost certainly do it without asking her parents or anyone else. She will only ask the person who she decides to have sex and that's all there is to it. Therefore, the only thing that might stop her is the sex education. But if that is not going to stop her, is there anything else we can do?

Nothing really. The education has to go beyond simply saying this is right and this is wrong, and this is how you make a baby. The education has to explain the methods of preventing pregnancy through the full range of contraception.

Sex education has to be wide-ranging and as complete and detailed as possible to avoid any confusion and to give every person the options on what to do.

Assuming sex education is the only answer, how young should a person receive sex education before engaging in the activity?

Looking at the above example, it would appear when a person is able to develop some form of a sexual response leading to pleasure of some sort, which could be as young as 8 or 9 years. In Europe, sex education may be provided in a book or accessed by young people privately through other sources at a very young age, perhaps as low as 10 years. With the availability of the internet in so many European homes, the education may already be provided free and in potentially graphic details although hopefully with some helpful and insightful educational advice so that young people can make reasonably well-informed choices. In Africa, the need to receive sex education at a young age is provided without question and is considered paramount due to the AIDS epidemic. In the African situation, it is not unusual for African children to learn how to put a condom on a penis as young as 8 or 9 years of age (in fact, it could be as young as 6 years of age).

In Australia, sex education may or may not be provided to children (or "young adults" depending on whether the definition for "young adults" refers to the point where children start developing and acting on their sexual feelings by choosing to have intercourse with another person). There are many factors to consider. Of course, the major contributing factor must be the parents. Parents and the way they have been brought up contribute significantly to the understanding of when sex is seen to be okay. Similarly the type of school the children visits is another. In private Christian-based schools, for instance, basic sex education of how a female gets "pregnant" is likely to be taught in the final semester of Year 12 to boys by which time a number of boys may already have engaged in sex many years earlier or have seen graphic images of sex online, in magazines and in videos/DVDs. As for girls in Catholic schools, this basic education may occur slightly earlier. In public schools, on the other hand, sex is usually discovered and learnt outside the school of ten with a boyfriend or girlfriend at whatever age they feel likely to try it out and can do it behind closed doors when parents are "not around". Sex with older people may occur, but given that many young people with restrictions to sex education are likely to be immature about the subject and may "brag about the experience" should they have sex causing all sorts of potential legal problems for older people, it is not likely to happen. And for the simple fact that older people tend to be aware of the legal implications if they do get involved. This is not to say it doesn't happen. Most certainly it does. All it takes is one or two very secretive encounters and afterwards it is forgotten about and no one in society will ever know what happened. But in the majority of such cases, sex is likely to take place among teenagers.

For example, some cases of Australian teachers (or other school staff member) and students having sex (and often more than once or for as long as 7 years in one case) behind closed doors have been reported with teachers coming out worse from the experience once the law catches up to them or discovers what has happened — usually from the students involved. In other cases, it can be from other students who somehow learn about the situation and later teased the student (showing their level of immaturity and lack of education on the subject) involved in the relationship over a period of time because of the social stigma associated with this type of relationship in a L-brain society with rules presumably designed to stop such frisky behaviour. Even in the media where two famous people are legally and physically able to engage in sex, should one of the adults be aged 8 years or more compared to the other, it must somehow be made into a major news story as if listeners will find it highly unusual or potentially shocked by the revelation.

Where students tease another student, either the student will feel alone and depressed until other adults try to help the student, or adults discover the reason behind the teasing. Then details of the relationship may reveal itself. Next, the student is made to believe it is the fault of the older person in the relationship for all the student problems such as gaining employment, pursuing a career, and be a well-adjusted and balanced human being in society. It isn't because of the social stigma and constant teasing that is to blame, but rather because of the presence of an older person in the relationship which is the sole cause for all the student's problems.

In a R-brain society, it would be the opposite. If there was not such a stigma associated with younger-older relationships and teasing did not exist, there would be no problems at all and no one be in a disadvantage. Well, perhaps for those not involved in the relationship. But in a R-brain society, you will always have plenty of things to do and be supported for it, and you will have creative people with time to help one another to achieve goals. So no one should be alone or disadvantaged in any way. As for the people involved the relationship, they can make their own decisions if they believe they are physically, emotionally and psychologically ready. And when they both choose to have sex, why stop it? What disadvantage would the student or older person experience if society didn't have the hang-ups associated with a young adult and an older person?

Also, in a R-brain society, the only other issue of concern would be how the relationship started. If there was any pressure on the younger person to get "involved" in the relationship and the older person tried to use some kind of advantage for his/her sexual gratification, it would be unacceptable. If, on the other hand, the younger person did want the relationship and made the effort to seek it, or even said "Yes" when asked and is followed by many years of continued sexual activity within the relationship, R-brain society will have no issue.

Unfortunately, anyone living in a L-brain society where strict laws are in place specifying the age a person can engage in sex with another person must face society's biggest assumption that anyone below the legal age will probably not be physically, emotionally or psychologically ready to engage in sex or else they will be harmed if they did. If this is true, why give students any sex education at school? Sure, teach the aspects os sex where if a young girl or boy is not ready for it and does not want it, then he/she should have the options such as saying "No" as well as where to seek help if he/she needs it. Also being aware of how babies are made through sex can also explain why it is important to say "No". However, society also knows young people are also reaching a point when the body does change and certain sexual feelings start to develop. The education clearly has to be more broader, covering the issues of contraception and anything else that goes towards the sexual encounter. Society still provides the education because they know young people will eventually get to that point of trying out sex. Yet people know some students can get to the point much sooner than expected and, therefore, there is potential for these students to have sex even when they are still in college or high school even if it is illegal under the law. Thus sex education is provided as a kind of precautionary measure in case the parents cannot be around to check on them and see they are not having sex. Society knows very well there is nothing anyone can do to stop students below the legal age from finding a way to experience sex with someone (whether of the same age or older) if they so choose.

One of the main reasons why a L-brain society with such laws guarding the age of sexual consent is not usually open enough to accept possible broader types of sexual relationships is because of a Christian religious element influencing these laws and in law enforcement which often demands that sex should only take place during marriage and not outside of it and certainly not below the legal age.

We can see numerous examples of how these sorts of people following the strict laws of a nation within a L-brain society are not quite ready to consider broader sexual relationship when they express questions of concern to educators about providing sex education to children. Assuming children are still children and have not already become young adults by experiencing sex in their own way without parents knowing about it, the common questions asked by parent are:

Won't my children lose their innocence if they receive a sex education? Response: If children are told it is "wrong" or "dirty", they will develop feelings of shame and be guilt-ridden over their naturally changing bodies, and any sexual thoughts that may arise may be repressed in an unhealthy and emotionally restricted manner as being "too naughty" and will probably turn them into a worse person if they do think about such things. In reality, there is nothing wrong with such feelings and thoughts. We all have them. No one can escape a sexual thought. In that case, it is better to say such thoughts and feelings are perfectly normal. Sex education should be there to explain how to manage those thoughts and feelings using R-brain techniques, or to see masturbation or even sex with another person to be perfectly fine so long as children are aware of certain consequences and how to deal with them (i.e., creating babies). Furthermore, children should be given the power to decide when and where they are ready to experience sex should they decide to explore this avenue with the right person and should, under no circumstances, ever feel pressured to have sex if they don't want to. It is as simple as that.

Won't my children start experimenting at an earlier age once they receive a sex education? Response: When children see the main consequence of sex (i.e. to reproduce the species), it is likely to have the opposite effect. In other words, children are likely to delay the experience of sex. Add to this the cost of looking after a baby and the amount of dedication and hard work involved in raising a new human being and it is usually enough to see many children delay their own decision to have sex. However, this is not to say all children will delay their sexual experiences. They may still regularly masturbate either by themselves or with friends (e.g. develop lesbian relationships in the case of girls), or get into a group situation and gang up on one member of the opposite sex to explore the issue of sex in a safe environment (so long as the person caught up in the gang's own agenda is a willing participant). Or they may well go ahead and have sex. All this means is that their bodies have already reached a level of physical maturity, their emotions are strong, and their minds are often made up to try out sex. Therefore it cannot be stopped. When faced with this circumstance we must acknowledge the inevitable and hope all the sex education regarding contraception has been taught well. Hence the reason for having a good sex education early enough to ensure the knowledge is there in the first place.

Won't sex education be promoting sexual promiscuity and increase the spread of STDs? Response: If sex education covers all the essential areas including contraception, as well as good social relationships and understanding the problems that can arise in a relationship with L-brain people meeting others and experiencing sex which could result in them not thinking of the consequences and therefore go ahead unprotected with another person, it will promote greater love in society while enacting safe sex practices to stop the spread of any infectious diseases. The education should teach young people to see sex as a tool to expanding their own abilities and skills, as well as accelerating their own learning and greater emotional development, as well as how to develop proper and healthy social relationships. Sex should be seen as a healthy part of the human condition. Sex education helps to bring out the positive benefits of sex while acknowledging and showing how to control other potential consequences. By having the knowledge, people will know and prepare themselves on how best to approach sex to ensure the preferred outcomes are achieved for themselves and indirectly for society as well.

All these questions are based on L-brain aduls fears of young person probably being more harmed by the experience, especially if they don't, or can't, make the right decision regarding sex. Hence the laws of a L-brain society tries to overly simplify the situation by stating there are other consequences by way of punishment should anyone be found to have sex with someone below the legal age. So hopefully the thought of any punishment will be seen as a deterrent to stop young people from having sex, at least with older people.

Given the way certain young adults behave and done in a surreptitious manner for many of them, this is not likely.

Again all these issues are carefully weighed up in the mind of broader-thinking and creative R-brain types based on the laws of the country in which they live and have to abide and the people they encounter and speak to when the issue of sex is raised.

That is why R-brain people have a significantly delayed response to having sex with anyone, mainly because they understand the consequences and deeper issues until other people are ready or show clear evidence of maturity and understanding of the subject and an effort is made to protect everyone involved should the sex be necessary and take place in an often overly regulated and faerful L-brain society. Or else it is better to wait until the law supports the activity for those ready to become consenting adults (e.g., until the right age is reached).

Despite this, there are many L-brain people in society. And a number of them are more spontaneous in their behaviours, perhaps more so than we would imagine. They will act on impulse with what they see and often with little or virtually no thinking behind their actions. For "adult" couples this may be perfectly okay. But where there is a significant difference in the age of the people concerned, questions may arise. This naturally brings out a deeper issue regarding sex with children/young adults and why older people decide it is okay to do it. Of particular interest are those older people who have a sexual inclination for children specifically (i.e. those that are clearly not physically ready for sex, there is virtually no sexual response to stimulation of their sexual organs, and have not given their consent to having sex with full understanding of what is happening).

What exactly drives these older people to ignore the rights of the child and the law?

This is a difficult question to answer. Somehow it involves the L-brain of older people and human memory of what certain L-brain adults think is attractive and how it is wired strongly through learning and regular reinforcement to connect the patterns observed through the eyes direct to the centres of the brain controlling emotion and primitive behaviours leading to human reproduction.

Somehow L-brain types are able to react spontaneously to the visual stimuli leading to powerful human sexual behaviour. When combined with a powerful emotional reinforcement system through the pleasure of sex as well as any knowledge gathered through the L-brain, and a powerful personal belief system is developed.

On the emotional front, we have to realise that for many people sex is a powerful "drug" that motivates and drives people to do things. It is used as a tool to accelerate one's learning, to reinforce positive behaviours, to achieve greater things in society, and to acknowledge each other as worthy human beings with emotional and physical needs. However, not everyone is ready for this until a certain age is reached and education is provided beyond the mere procreation aspects.

In addition to this, we know L-brain people are driven by what they see and often use this observational evidence to support their decision to pursue certain sexual behaviours. If the evidence is not absolutely clear, L-brain people may even try to make tiny incremental changes in the environment including the young person involved to make it seem like it is "okay" to have sex. For example, asking the young person to wear adult lingerie may help to highlight some possible evidence in the mind of the L-brain person that this young person is "ready".

How would this have begun?

Perhaps the whole situation may have begun from a single event in the life of the L-brain person where he/she may have seen and/or possibly experienced the feasibility of the sexual encounter with a young person who was able to "handle it" so to speak, or has "agreed" to let the older person engage in sex with the young person. Whether that means the young person had enjoyed the experience and not just physically coped with the penetration is hard to tell. But if a person at a certain young age can have sex, perhaps the L-brain person was excited by the experience enough to be compelled to find out whether it is possible for a younger person to experience it as well? And if not, then the sex has already reinforced the evidence he has seen that sex at a certain age is physically possible.

In Europe one can see the difficulties the authorities have in knowing when a human being is ready to experience sex. It seems the best solution has been in most countries to ask two simple questions, "Has there been consent?" and "Does the person understand what sex is about?" In other words, the process involves asking the young person whether he/she understands sex and the consequences, and is physically able to engage in sex (i.e. did the young person enjoy the experience?). If not, then the young person is a child and the activity would be seen as illegal.

But if it is okay, what then? How young can a person become to physically have pleasurable sex?

For some other L-brain types, this may be the problem. They simply don't know. They have to find out, so to speak, by seeking direct evidence to support of what they think is possible and, therefore, probable when it happens. L-brain types are more likely to act on what they see to find out so their observations can reinforce their own belief system. R-brain types don't; they can already imagine the situation and weigh it up on the basis of probability as well as the facts. And the results will almost always decide what's the best course of action. Not so for L-brain types. Indeed they see specific examples that seem to defy the general trend. So they probably ask themselves, how much younger? Or what else is possible? And if it can be achieved, then it becomes probable while at the same time fulfilling their own sexual needs. Hence older L-brain types who may succeed at sex with a young person at some point in their lives may see it as the impetus to search for evidence of sex at a younger age. Then they keep going until the drug of sex takes over and soon lose sight of the physical limitations of sex with a young enough person mainly because it is assumed the person will usually say "Yes" to just about anything to help please the adult. This is where the problem begins. Reality is likely to become distorted for the older person because the young person has not set limits on whether it can be done. Soon the older L-brain person becomes too focused on his/her own sexual needs once the word "Yes" for the sex is heard and not seeking the genuine feelings of the other person when he/she thinks everything is okay. Without adequate sex education, L-brain people can only rely on observations through direct experience to find out. And if they see the younger person saying it is okay and dressing up to look like it is okay and so giving the impression he/she can cope with the situation, it makes it harder for the older person to know if it is right or wrong. The same is true of the younger person since without the sex education he/she is unable to tell what is right or wrong and what the limited of his/her own body might be. All the young person knows is doing whatever will keep the adult happy.

A vicious cycle develops where experience of the sexual encounter brings pleasure to the L-brain person, thereby reinforcing the behaviour and the situation, making him think it is okay irrespective of what the authorities might say. Then the drug of sex is likely to push them further and further onwards to find out how much younger is possible until either the authorities find out and the full arm of the law is applied, or the child becomes seriously injured, possibly fatally.

Perhaps this is the fundamental issue? The boundary gets blurred for some reason. In the worse case scenario, some L-brain types think they do not need to seek consent from a young person or they don't apply common sense and knowledge to the situation in terms of the physical issues, and they may not ask if children do understand sex. They seem to forget that children without the knowledge will naturally give consent to anything just to please adults. And where there is no evidence children understand the knowledge behind sex, they can be taken advantage by those L-brain types who think it is okay to engage in sex with children.

This is a major problem.

So how did this distorted picture of sex with minors actually begin? Maybe something happened to sex offenders in an early part of their lives that determined what happens next.

For example, there are cases when these people may receive their first positive experience or experiences with a young person leading to an interest and later a fantasy about understanding, observing and possibly experiencing sex with young teenagers/children. A typical example of an incident is when a young boy aged 6 living in a children's home for many years develop feelings of rejection. Then suddenly the boy experiences a positive situation when a young girl aged, say, 12 years suddenly brings the boy into a private room and asks him to fondle her and apply cream to certain parts of her body. While not all young girls will do this, it is possible and highly probable, and hence quite natural, for some girls to reach a certain level of sexual development, maturity and/or readiness to experiment in this way. But when it does happen, either the boy, the girl, or both may learn from the experience that this may be "okay to do".

Bear in mind though that should a situation like this be ever proven through, say, the existence of photographs and the Australian authorities were to discover them, the young girl would be legally described as a "paedophile" and would probably require extensive counselling, psychiatric treatment, and could be put on a register of child sex offenders for 10 years and thus be required to have mandatory reporting and monitoring by the authorities. Similarly, if a young boy reaches an age of sexual curiosity by asking a girl of the same or younger age to undress and later mentions how she should pose in various ways, he too would also be termed a "paedophile" and be subjected to similar counselling and other restrictions should evidence be found to prove the situation.

For example, it had been reported by ABC reporter Candice Marcus how a 16-year-old boy was sentenced to two years in detention for what the authorities describe as serious child sex crimes after authorities discovered photographic images were stored on a CD disc and had been kept in his possession since 2009 (the year when the "incident" happened) until one day he left behind the disc at a house he had been living in in 2011. The new people occupying the house discovered the disc and on checking the contents realised what it showed and decided to inform the authorities, believing it might have been part of a serious paedophile ring movement by a group of adults taking advantage of a young girl. Understandably, the material was passed on to police. On examining the images and conducting some further investigation, the authorities eventually learned the images showed the boy's 9-year-old cousin undressed in a change room at a North Adelaide aquatic centre and posing in various ways. There was no sexual acts performed by the boy on the girl (or vice versa). No touching. Just observing. The incident was never repeated with the girl, or any other girl of similar age. It was something that he wanted to observe and keep to help satisfy a "fetish" he had at the time. Unfortunately, what made the situation legally serious for the authorities was the fact that the boy had asked (or as the authorities put it, "coerced") the girl to pose in various positions and recorded it on his camera and kept it for a period of time only to be discovered by the authorities, which helped to prove the "incident" occurred. It is not clear from this case whether the girl had been psychologically affected by the "incident" (as would probably happen if someone is coerced against their will). Nor is it clear whether the boy had grown out of it and was already having healthy relationships with girls of his own age. All we know is that the girl's parents were "deeply affected" and expressed anger and shock at what happened. But does this mean the boy would have a serious problem with young girls in later life? Not necessarily. The fact that the boy had left the disc behind may suggest it was no longer of interest to him and had forgotten about it (and was silly enough not to realise it should have been destroyed). Or perhaps he intended to keep the disc for longer and left it behind by accident? If it was the latter, it may suggest he could have a problem. Whatever the situation was for the boy, the authorities felt lucky to have caught him early enough. So why the harsh two-year detention sentence when counselling would have been enough for the boy? Apparently, what made the matter worse for him was that while he did admit to having asked the girl to "pose" in various ways to help satisfy what may have been a short-term curious "fetish", he didn't believe it was wrong in the way the authorities had explained it to him and during counselling. So the potential was there in the eyes of the authorities that he could continue to retain the offending material, which raises the question as to whether he would become a serious child sex offender and prey on other young girls should he pursue what may have initially been a fetish. Furthermore, he also didn't comply with psychiatrist treatment programs for young sex offenders as recommended by the authorities. When Judge Kelvyn Prescott heard about this, he had to describe the case as serious and ordered the boy to a period of detention to help him feel remorseful of what he had done to the girl.

If we follow this logic, then technically all those comments we see online about how some people have sexually experimented with their brothers or sisters or another relative, or just seeing each other naked and perhaps even getting some sexual gratification from the observing, would be sufficient to classify these people under Australian law as child sex offenders, especially if they don't feel guilty and state it is wrong to do what they did. But that would be a lot of people to send into detention or have counselling.

For example, Susan who lives in London said in the Human Sexuality Forum of Topix:

"When I was about 13 and my brother was 15, I saw him stroking himself as he watched me in the shower. I didn't understand what he was doing but, he showed me and explained that I had done something really nice for him by letting him watch. I was fascinated. A few days later he helped me discover that I could do it too. We often did this together until he went away to college. But nothing more. All this was about 20 years ago and we are still close but both happily married. My husband knows all and teases my brother."

On hearing these sorts of cases, Dr Robert Saltzman, a U.S. psychologist and counsellor, said:

"I generally take the position that sexual experimentation is a normal part of child development, and that the things that children do to investigate their bodies and to try to satisfy their developing curiosity about sex are not equivalent in meaning to what those same things would mean if an adult did them. I usually counsel those who write to understand their past behaviors as innocent childhood experiences which should not be a source of guilt in the present.

I would like to observe that sexual guilt is, in my view, an unfortunate and deleterious learned behavior — neither something natural to human beings, nor anything useful or wise. This guilt, fuelled and perpetuated principally by organized, doctrinal religion, is simply passed from guilty parent to child, leaving the child believing that being sexual is somehow shameful, and that being curious about sex, and wanting to experience it is a "sin." This mistaken understanding of child development prevails in both Islam and in Christianity (and in Judaism for that matter), but is found also in the belief systems of those who reject the "book religions" in favor of doctrines which they consider more benign, more advanced, and more "philosophical."


Dr Saltman further goes on to provide evidence from the scientific literature to show such behaviours are a normal part of childhood development:

"According to such researchers as De Jong, 1989, Litt and Martin, 1981, and Rosenfeld, Bily, Siegel, and Baily, 1986, by the age of two or three years, children learn to identify themselves as boys or girls. Between the ages of three and six, they begin to notice anatomical differences in genitalia, and, driven by curiosity, begin to explore their own genitals via masturbation, and to explore the genitals of other children by means of such games as "playing doctor," playing "mommy and daddy," and by means of childish attempts at sexual intercourse. By middle childhood, these researchers found, modesty about nudity has been learned, but still sexual exploration, often with siblings, continues.

According to Cavanagh, Johnson & Friend, 1995, Between forty and seventy-five percent of children will engage in some sort of sexual behavior before reaching 13 years of age In these situations, children are exploring each other's bodies while also exploring gender roles and behaviors, and their sexual experimentation does not indicate that these children are child sex offenders.

Bancroft, 1983, says that genital play usually manifests in boys between six-seven months of age; and in girls at ten-eleven months. It may take place in groups, and sometimes utilizing inanimate objects such as dolls. This behavior, according to Bancroft, is part of a normative period of children exploring all of their bodies, may be a sign of healthy psychosexual development.

According to Reinisch, 1990, over half of all six and seven year old boys have engaged in sex play with other boys, and more than a third of them with girls, while more than a third of six and seven year old girls have engaged in such play with both other girls and with boys. This play includes playing doctor, insertion of objects, and attempts at intercourse. Reinisch views such play as part of a normal progression from the sensual elements of bonding with parents, to self-masturbation, and then to sex play with others. By the age of eight or nine, according to Reinisch, children become aware that sexual arousal is a specific type of erotic sensation, and will seek these pleasurable experiences through various sights, self-touches, and fantasy, so that earlier generalized sex play shifts into more deliberate and intentional arousal.

When this experimentation is carried out with siblings, although I, along with many others, do not call it "incest," some researchers (Bank and Kahn, 1982, for example) do consider it incest, but those researchers who do use that term distinguish between abusive incest and non-abusive incest. Bank and Kahn say that abusive incest is power-oriented, sadistic, exploitative, and coercive, often including deliberate physical or mental abuse. Whether carried out with a family member or not, Finkelhor and Hotaling, 1984, consider sexual contact to be abusive only under these circumstances:

1. it occurs with a child less than 13 years old, and the perpetrator is more than five years older than the victim or if the child is between 13 and 16 years old, and the perpetrator is ten years older than the victim, and,

2. coercion, force, or threat is used.

Laviola, 1992, says that sexually abusive behavior depends upon the use of power, authority, bribery or appeal to the child's trust or affection.

De Jong, 1989, offers four criteria to judge whether sexual behavior involving persons under 14 years old is abusive or not:

1. an age difference of more than five years.

2. use of force, threat, or authority.

3. attempted penile penetration.

4. physical injury to the victim.

According to De Jong, if one or more of these is present, the behavior is abusive, whereas if none is present, the behavior must be considered normal sexual experimentation.


Thus in the case of the 15-year-old boy from Adelaide, the authorities must have just looked at the age difference as well as the age of the girl in question and automatically assumed the situation as entirely sexual and child abuse to the 9-year-old girl.

In a R-brain society, the critical aspects people look for are points 2 and 4 in the criteria suggested by De Jong to ensure no physical and social abuse takes place. As for ensuring psychological abuse is not present, there must also be evidence of a solid sex education in the young persons involved to ensure they understand what is going on. Point 3 is already part of point 4, whereas point 1 is not considered relevant if consent is provided.

This means that in the above example, a R-brain society would realise that the 9-year-old child had not indicated to the authorities that she was harmed by the experience. Quite the contrary, it would suggest she was happy to pose from the boy knowing that he had his own fetish and understood what this was. Also there was no coercion, but that the boy had asked for permission. In such matters, it should be seen as childhood sexual experimentation and nothing more. If this isn't enough, a period of not less than 3 years had transpired by which time the girl would have had ample opportunities to contemplate on the experience, check with friends, go online and determine from other people and the experts whether it is right or wrong, and then report the incident to her parents if she felt coerced and not fully understanding of what she was doing. The remarkable thing is that she didn't. In fact, it seems like both the boy and the girl kept it quiet, as if both had some prior knowledge and education of what they were doing and a decision was made to keep the incident secret. Of course, we cannot prove for sure if this is right since the ABC report did not reveal all the facts to the case. Nevertheless, the decision by the judge not to listen to the girl and determine if she felt it was wrong and harmed by the experience tells us that it is likely the boy and girl knew what they were doing and wanted to conceal it for the sake of at least protecting the boy (so long as the boy could properly conceal the evidence). If this is true, a R-brain society would have to consider the likelihood that the girl did have reasonable understanding of sex education at the time and a decision was made between the girl and the boy to conceal the event, and made sure it only happened once to help satisfy the boy's sexual curiosity. Therefore, a R-brain society would have no hesitation as to see the situation in the following way:

No complaint from the girl at the time she was interviewed by police, and her knowledge of sex education is considered advanced for her age? In that case, we must assume that while she did not complain or felt it was wrong, the age difference in terms of her knowledge of sex education and understanding of what they were doing should by 12 years for the girl (the point when she was interviewed), but keep the boy's age at 15 years to correspond to the time when he carried out the action to photograph the girl. Therefore the difference in education levels of the two individuals in relation to the subject of sex is roughly 3 years. So the case should really have been seen as nothing more than normal sexual experimentation by children. No need to read further into it.

This more R-brain focus on the level of sex education by the people involved rather than focussing strictly on physical age differences as occur in L-brain society will also help to protect those women aged over 18 years having very low education levels and socio-economic backgrounds from being sexually exploited by men of any age even though strictly speaking the age of legal consent has already been reached and all other factors such as avoiding physical harm has been properly taken care of.

At any rate, in most situations, and especially where there is no evidence recorded, young boys and girls who do get involved in this sort of thing will probably ignore the initial sexual "incident" (or experience) and grow up into normal adults without any ill effects. And without evidence to prove the "incident" had actually occurred, even the authorities would have a bugger of a time saying anything about it.

So the question is, what happens afterwards? Will the "incident" lead to a continued interest by the young girl or boy in any kind of sexual activity involving "young people" below what the authorities consider the age of legal consent?

Even if certain girls and boys do develop an early interest in sex from the "incident", it is not likely to involve acting out their own sexual fantasies with anyone until they reach the legal age of consent (or younger in certain parts of Europe) and only with someone of the same or similar legal age.

However, for some other girls and boys, this interest in sex could manifest itself into adult life as an interest in only young girls and/or boys and with no interest in people of the same age.

Of course, one has to be careful not to immediately slap on the label on anyone who isn't going out with people of the same or similar age as having a "problem". For instance, people can be "asexual" in the sense that they may not be sexually interested in anyone (the ideal situation parents like to see in their children, although we all know this is wishful thinking). Or they may already have a secret relationship with someone else of the same age and they don't want to say who he/she is. So it doesn't mean there is, or there is going to be, a problem in later life. The only way to know is to find evidence, such as a photograph, or for a young person to make an allegation to the authorities suggesting alleged inappropriate behaviour had been committed by someone else (although it usually takes a number of young people to make the allegations in order to warrant closer scrutiny by the authorities).

It may simply come down to a personal choice by the girl or boy on which path to take. For the majority of girls and boys, the choice would be to explore sex with a person of the same or similar age and nothing more would eventuate from it. It is just in a few cases there might be a continued interest in viewing sexualised images of young girls and/or boys.

It is from these humble and seemingly innocent beginnings where it is possible for either the young girl and/or the young boy to develop into a serious child sex offender should the fantasy (or "fetish") be pursued with the potential for the activity to involve younger and younger people.

Or maybe it is nothing more than the way the L-brain occasionally dominates human thinking and behaviours of older adults leading to situations that may become inappropriate and potentially dangerous if acted out in reality. For example, L-brain people tend to value good outer appearance and hence young people are often perceived as more attractive than older types, the brain may think after a while that looking and possibly having sex with a 17-year-old is feasible. If this is okay (i.e. no apparent physical and psychological ill-effects have occurred), why not a 16-year-old? And if that's possible, then why not a 15-year-old and so on. As some adults might think, "Wouldn't the experiences get more exciting the younger the partner is?"

Then the barriers to what age one can have sex get slowly broken down as adults find out the differences in the physical development of young people.

If, somehow, the adult is able to have sex and there is no apparent ill-effect for the young person as far as the adult can observe and the young person can state, the adults may continue to see the sexual attractiveness in increasingly younger people who appear to be able to engage in sex.

It is perhaps a kind of positive reinforcement of an initially crude "picture" in the mind of the adult through sex (or from whatever the young person, who may have been just under the legal age of consent, says or agrees to do) is making the adult think the "picture" is okay.

Maybe this is why some adults involved in this activity often ask the young person to wear sexy clothing to emphasise this sexual attractiveness in the adults' eyes, such as to see what might be normal breasts, or to make the young boy look more well-endowed between his legs. Anything to give a sense it is probably okay to have sex because they can easily see what they think is a body shape that suggests the young person is probably sexually ready So long as young people appear to be consenting (i.e. children may not fully understand why but will do it because they simply want to please the adults), why not have sex with them?

This distorted view of reality continues until a point is reached where the adult doesn't know for sure whether the situation is right or wrong because the child has become so young and innocent that he/she doesn't have the sex education and understanding to say, "No". A child at a young enough age without the knowledge would think the only way to please adults is to say "Yes" to everything because he/she thinks it is the right thing to do, even when the experience might turn out to be physically painful and, in fact, would prefer not to have the experience. The lack of sex education at this young age to say "No" is probably the essence of where the problem lies in this area.

Either that, or it is possible that some men could have a smaller penis size than most and therefore need a younger partner to have sex in order to make themselves feel more well-endowed. Or perhaps these older men and women who get involved in this activity are not attractive to other adults and therefore need an opportunity to feel loved and so think sex is the way to get the love they need. And because children of a young enough age do not emphasise this unattractiveness (i.e. tend to show more R-brain skills to the situation), their appeal to the adults may somehow increase.

Or it may be that the sex offenders may themselves have been victims of sexual abuse and think it is okay to do this with other young people.

One can also identify another possible reason: the social-economic status of the people involved in this activity. Generally the poorer people get and the less social status they have in society, the more likely people will get involved in child pornography. It doesn't happen instantly. It usually requires a series of sexual experiences (or a serious financial crisis) leading to a critical moment when for some reason a young girl aged, say, 7 years of age, decides after seeing the situation with another girl, usually older (perhaps her sister), that it probably is okay to be "touched" in certain intimate places by one or more males.

A classic example can be observed from this article. As can be seen, things did get out-of-hand when certain young males thought it was okay to try sticking their erect penis — after experiencing sex previously with a 15-year-old girl and were later permitted to observe and possibly touch the naked body of a much younger girl — inside the vagina of what they thought was a relatively well-developed sexually-speaking 7-year-old body without consent to the sexual act. Clearly the lack of consent for the particular act of penetration with a penis (or potentially a finger or any other part of the body into the vagina if this was not explicitly agreed to) was the reason for the charge of rape being placed on the offending males in this case.

However, if no sexual penetration had ever taken place and the boys did as they were told, what then? If the males had followed instructions precisely, no charge of rape (or under-age sex) would ever have been placed on the males.

Should such a case ever took place in Australia, consent would not have been sufficient for the act with a 15-year-old girl to be legal if the Australian authorities had found out, let alone with the 7-year-old girl.

For example, in another real-life story, it was published in a newspaper that an Australian mother who appeared to have insufficient employment-related skills to get a job or a better paying job found herself struggling to pay the rent (and possibly other expenses). After the mother, the 51-year-old Tasmanian male landlord and the mother's 12-year-old girl discussed the situation, the topic of sex somehow cropped up and the mother and girl agreed to make money by providing sex as a service to clients. The mother could have chosen to be the prostitute, but for some reason the 12-year-old girl agreed to do it. Perhaps the mother had very little chance of attracting other men because of her looks? Or perhaps both got involved at the same time? Or maybe there was more money in getting the younger female involved. This part of the case is unclear. At any rate, the Hobart newspaper The Mercury reported the girl as having had sex with over 100 men initially at a central Hobart motel and later at the landlord's unit in Glenorchy before eventually the authorities learned about the activities taking place at the unit from neighbours (presumably from the noises heard and/or the parking of so many cars from strangers outside the unit on the public street).

The worse part of the situation was how the girl agreed to sex with some men without a condom for extra money, resulting in the girl receiving sexually transmitted diseases including specifically genital warts and chlamydia. Clearly there had been no adequate sex education for the girl in this area for her to say "No" to this situation.

Yet it is unlikely the sex education would have made the difference in stopping the girl from having sex since the financial situation was considered too dire for both the mother and girl. The Crown Prosecutor Daryl Coates on hearing the case understood after asking the mother how the two already knew it was wrong for the girl to get involved. Both claimed that earning an income was considered more important (understandable in today's society) and both found the experience pleasurable (which shouldn't be too surprising considering sex has been known to give other people pleasure so long as the body and mind is both physically and psychologically ready and mature enough to handle the act in a responsible way).

Except there was one problem: everyone involved were not quite responsible enough to handle the situation of sex in a safe manner. If only the girl received some sex education, it would have gone a long way to protecting the girl at least from sexually-transmitted diseases.

So technically speaking, the sex education would have made the difference in protecting the girl from receiving sexually transmitted diseases if it didn't stop the sex itself. Only money would have made the difference to delay the sexual experience in both the mother and daughter were not in dire financial straits at the time it happened.

But if the mother and daughter had more money, would they both be responsible in how to spend it wisely to improve their own education, pay for healthy foods, and contribute in other ways to society?

While all agreed to the activity under appalling circumstances for the mother and girl, even if the girl could argue it was consenting and pleasurable for her, her age was below the legal age (which is all the Australian authorities need to know). Also, the authorities discovered how the girl had used some of her share of the proceeds on drugs. An unfortunate decision on the part of the girl. As a result, the presence of drugs had resulted in the authorities viewing the mother and girl as not in a reasonable mental capacity to make a decision of this nature. Instead the man was charged for "procuring a young person to have unlawful sexual intercourse, permitting sexual intercourse with a young person on premises, being a commercial operator of a sexual services business and receiving a fee from sexual services provided by a child" and jailed for 10 years. Further details of the case available here.

The woman remained in custody at the time until she could prove her responsibility to raise the girl under her care. Until then, the girl was placed in foster care.

As of 20 October 2010, the girl is seeking compensation from the Tasmanian Government for failing to protect her under State laws assuming she can prove through medical reports (costing up to AUD$10,000) to show she had been sufficiently affected in a psychological sense. Currently she is seeking donations from the public to assist with getting these medical reports.

However Australian families do not have to get involved in drugs or unemployment to see underage sex as a possible avenue to making money. Some families earning an average wage can still choose to privately sell sex to make money. Where the decision to sell sex to the public through porn videos or other material is made, a parent or parents may become the subject of such videos. But if not, it is not unusual for some parents to allow their daughter to get involved. In these circumstances, the daughter would be at the minimum legal age of consent and the parents would carefully screen the males to ensure the highest health standards are maintained. Then the parents would closely monitor and supervise the session at every stage ensuring their daughter is safe. When this happens, the income earned is more than enough to pay for any home they desire.

NOTE: If people see this activity as immoral, so too should the act of making money by selling things that cannot be fully recycled and causes damage to the environment and eventually to people. In fact, why do people need to earn money? Is it not obvious in a L-brain society that people will contribute something to society in their own way? If not, and we have to pay people to do certain jobs, why do those jobs that we know harms the environment? What? It is too costly to make the transition to new industries and creating new jobs? Well, that's the whole problem individuals have in not finding work, or not earning enough to survive. They have to do things to earn them enough money so they can make the change, and hopefully it will be the right change. Otherwise, force people into survival mode if they can't find work or earn enough cash and people will do anything to get themselves out of their difficult predicament.

It is natural for all of us to want to improve our circumstances where we can. It is just a question of what's easiest to achieve the change we need to make.

Similarly, make things expensive to buy such as healthy foods and other basic commodities we need to survive due to the greed of various people along the supply chain (except maybe the farmers) and we can see why people have to do certain things to survive.

In which case, is it any worse to make money through sex compared to say selling coal when society knows the damage it is doing to the environment? Okay, well compare coal to how much damage sex is thought to be doing to people. If people have given consent and can handle the situation responsibly and with good knowledge and find the experience pleasurable, is sex really that bad?

In a L-brain society, people need jobs to survive. Okay, that's fine. So too the people who use sex to make money. Perhaps the difficulty in finding alternative jobs is too great to meet the immediate survival needs. More access to better and cheaper education is necessary. But also people need to understand it is important to curb the greed and profiteering that businesses try to get away with when selling their needy products and/or services to the people. Make sure the basic needs of life such as water, healthy food, and a roof over our heads are affordable and at the lowest cost possible. Then people will, with adequate education, do the right thing. Only then will people begin to understand what it means to live in a true R-brain society where people don't have to be forced to perform work in return for money just to survive when we realise everyone will contribute something great to society when they are given what they need to survive and a good education. People will know what needs to be solved and how to help people. It will happen naturally for everyone.

Furthermore, in a R-brain society there would be no need to sell sex for money. Sex would be provided freely and considerately (and probably at the right age, or at least the point of consent is given to ensure no harm is done to anyone), and with all the health benefits.

Unfortunately we are not there yet. Too many people are locked into the way we currently live in a L-brain society. Therefore, people need to earn an income to survive. So while society values money and profit as the basis for our survival, any form of activity to earn an income including sex, even if there is the slightest possibility that some people involved might be under-age, would have to be seen as moral so long as no harm is caused to other humans or to oneself and there is consent by everyone involved in the activity.

The critical thing in selling sex, at least from a R-brain perspective, is making sure there is no harm to anyone either during or after the sexual experience.

In the meantime, and especially in a L-brain society, the provision of sex as a service by adults aged 18 years or over has to be deemed acceptable for everyone living in a L-brain society, just as businesses are allowed to extract ad burn coal to produce electricity despite what damage is being done to the environment and later to future generations of people. Sex for income should only be considered unacceptable if it causes harm to humans both in the immediate and long-term future, which means either no consent was obtained and/or people are not doing it right (e.g. using a condom and in a considerate way). If we don't like it, change the system and make sure people are not fighting to survive by earning an income through any means.

It really is that simple.

Thus in the rare circumstance (at least in Australia) where ordinary people decide to have sex with what we are led to believe by the authorities as a child, it is almost always the result of insufficient income in the early stages until such time as there is sufficient income in the household not to pursue this avenue. Then the question of minimum age may be discussed should the activity continue into more legal forms, or the money used to get education in other areas where society can see the value of employing these people.

Whatever the truth to why people may persistently engage in sex with children (or young adults with sexual needs that they somehow wish to have fulfilled from time-to-time), society will describe these types of people as child sex offenders or paedophiles.

The majority of people who are likely to be categorised in this manner (if the evidence can be found) may never get identified in society. These people may have a passing interest to look at a naked young child or to look up a child's dress (or see a boy's penis while in a bath) when the opportunity may present itself. Even just walking down the street and noticing a school girl's dress ride up her legs to briefly reveal her underwear on a windy day while riding a bike might cause casual interest by these men. But never do they go on further with their desire or interest. These people will often successfully keep the secret to themselves for the rest of their lives, even living healthy sex lives with other adults of their own age, or remain single and perfectly normal people.

For a tiny fraction of these people and of the L-brain types, it may go further with a desire to touch the genitalia of a child either orally or with the fingers.

In rare circumstances, and certainly not as common as society would make out to be, some people may go too far by deciding to engage in masturbation or actual acts of sex with the child. It is when it reaches this stage and especially when there is absolutely no consent and understanding of sex by the child or even the possibility of creating harm to the child physically as well as psychologically where help from society is needed to reverse the behaviour. These older L-brain types need help. Otherwise, they may develop mechanisms in the mind for ignoring the pain (thinking it is just part of how females naturally respond to sexual penetration when, in fact, it isn't) and the harm they may cause to younger and younger children should they actually engage in sex with the children because they think "it is okay" when really it isn't. This is the moment when society must be compassionate and show a willingness to help these people, not treat them like monsters. And it must happen before it reaches the point of having sex with the children. Certainly when adults are deliberately touching children in intimate areas should the problem be brought out into the open. This is where education of children about sex should be done early enough to ensure they can speak out at the right time, or make it clear to the adults it is wrong. And the adults can be given the psychological help to change their behaviours and seek love through other means.

On the same token, society should not get paranoid if, say, adults see a naked child or accidentally look up a child's dress. This is no clear indication that a person is or will become a child sex offender. There is no evidence to support this view.

Not even a kiss from a stranger to a child in a public area should evoke images of child sex offenders on the prowl. This is simply not true.

And the paranoia can get worse in Australia.

Just merely looking in the direction of a underage girl (usually if she is on her own) can potentially get you into trouble. Even if you are observing something else in the general vicinity of the girl, or even if you do admire what looks like an above-age female bottom wearing tight jeans from behind but you don't know how old she is until she turns around and then realise she might be too young and the parents just happen to walk nearby, it can cause a potential scene with the father asking his wife whether the male stranger doing the looking is "not doing the right thing" (i.e. looking at the girl). If so, the father might consider it evidence of a "child sex offender".

Some parents do have to wake up.

As another example, even some Australian girls who do get a reasonable sex education may also get paranoid by the sight of an old enough male who walks up and has to stand almost right next to them. The girls may stop talking and look at the male as if expecting something horrible to happen. What? Are the girls expecting to have their bottoms pinched by the male? Of course not. Try it! Not the bum pinching. Just stand near a bunch of girls at a counter at close range and see what happens. The best place is a food shop that has free sample foods on the counter (e.g. Baker's Delight) so you can have a reason to stand nearby as you sample the food. Indeed when you see a 15-year-old teenage girl standing in front of a food container that you want to try out and doesn't move, there is virtually nothing anyone can do to get a sample of the food but temporarily stand next to the girl. But if you try, don't be surprised by the sudden silence and odd stares in your direction. You are better off getting a long hollow tube, put your mouth over one end, and stick the other end in the food container and suck a food piece from a distance. Then the girl should feel absolutely and positively safe from the experience.

Some girls (and boys) do have to wake up as well.

But in the rare circumstances where things do go wrong (it is extremely rare), we need to show more compassion to genuine offenders. The more we treat these very small percentage of people in society as really bad people who "don't deserve to live" or receive any love and ought to be castrated or killed, the more we create a greater irrational fear within ourselves of other people, especially if they happen to be male (or even female).

For example, Tom Waring of Ainslie, Canberra, said:

"So it's now standard practice in the airline industry to reseat adult males away from kiddies travelling solo.

'Good thing too. Those disgusting rockspiders could be anywhere. We can't be too careful.

'The real question is, why only on planes? What about kids on trains, buses and ferries too? And trams.

'And really, on the same logic, they should prevent kiddies sitting next to male relatives too.

'Almost all pedophiles are somehow related to kids. The odds on any randomly selected male being a pedophile are exactly the same. Can't be too careful.

'But what about blokes taking kids to the movies? Who knows what's going on there? On balance, I think we have no alternative other than to outlaw all unsupervised adult male contact with children under 16. Including fathers.

'It's the only safe solution.

'If it only prevents one kiddy from being molested, it'd be worth the inconvenience, right? We can't be too careful, can we?" (The Canberra Times (Letters to the Editor): Men: You can't trust 'em. 3 December 2005, p.B10.)

This kind of irrational fear can only serve to make society more paranoid and force families to keep to themselves and over-protect their children. Whereas individuals walking around on their own will be viewed by others with suspicion as if they are up to no good. Then the presumed innocence until proven guilty is thrown out the window. Or the authorities have to spend a lot of resources "setting up" situations in the hope of entrapping potential "paedophiles" using some girls as bait (e.g., dressed in obvious school uniform and looking at you as you walk by as if wanting something from you, but in fact they are just trying to get a reaction to see if you ask something you shouldn't while the other girls provide confirmation of what happened to the authorities). Or, more likely, have someone pretending to be a girl and sending an email to targeted individuals with the subject title "Little Girlie" followed by a message claiming photos of someone nude or whatever the person might be doing of a sexual nature (presumably the one claiming to be the "little girl") will be delivered if men reply to the email in "agreement" to see such photos.

In fact, in November 2013, the Canadian authorities implemented just such an email strategy to see how many potential paedophiles existed at the time. The email will look something like this:

"Little Girlie(

Hi there How are you currently doing? I enjoy your user profile. Would you like to check my non-public photos?

Mail me at and i am going to answer back with my private images."

It is clear that this email is not genuine, otherwise the sender would not have hesitated sendingsample photos (and the recipient can decide what it is they are looking at — is it a woman with a petite and small body describing herself as "Little Girlie", or is it of the illegal material kind, or is someone playing a prank with the recipient?). Furthermore, the message is always the same. No variation to personalise the message in some way (other than change "Hi there" to "Howdy" or "Hya". It is consistently based on a template used by the authorities to find legal ways to check people out if they ever intend to reply in the affirmative to this email. We also hear that some individuals have received very soon after another email described as an alleged Sex Offender Alert. It comes from with the link name "Click Here To Learn Who is the Sexual Predator in Your Neighborhood" and a picture linked to another location so when the picture is displayed, the sender can identify the recipient's IP location. Both the picture and the link goes to, a web site established on 12 December 2013 and hosted in San Jose, California, from Cooplab. And if all this is not enough, the authorities will get more desperate. In fact, they will literally be harrassing people to respond to the email by constantly sending the email every couple of days, or confusing the recipient by changing the subject title to "Woman looking" (now here the legal boundaries get deliberately blurred and technically any male could respond if they really wanted to and shouldn't get legally in trouble in doing so and this would be described as entrapment and that has legal consequences to the authorities).

At any rate, after sending the initial email, we discover that the authorities have managed to receive replies for, and track down (with help from authorities and various ISPs in other countries), over 300 individuals in the world. Fair enough, assuming "Little Girlie" can be reasonably described as representing someone under the legal age of sexual consent.

Out of curiosity, what percentage of these individuals actually possessed illegal sexual material? We don't know at this stage as the authorities were more interested in sending a message to the public not to get involved in this activity. For all we know, a number of young males probably had no illegal material but were curious to find out what exactly this email meant and sent the reply. Unfortunately for these males, the authorities assumed every individual who replied probably possessed something that might be considered illegal.

Just a little inconvenience for those males, but a necessary one just to make society feel safer.

Also the term "Little Girlie" has not yet been established firmly as legally representing a female below the legal age of consent. For example, it is possible for a 24-year-old female with a petite body and small height to describe herself as "little girlie". If people were told her age was falsely below the legal age, how many males would look away thinking she is too young? On the other hand, if the males were told the true age of the female and realise it is okay, how confusing would it get for these males if they see another female looking physically similar and don't know she is actually below the legal age?

For the purposes of what the Canadian authorities wanted to do, it doesn't really matter. The authorities assumed "Little Girlie" represented only those girls who are too young in a legal sense and, therefore, was considered enough of a reason to create a search warrant to check people's homes in case illegal sexual material did exist.

The Canadian authorities have also mentioned the fact that over 9,700 potential paedophiles still remain. So, in total the authorities received approximately 10,000 replies. Presumably the 9,700 other individuals are from those that the authorities have not been able to electronically trace to the individuals' homes, businesses, workplace or any public location where cameras might be present to identify the individuals at certain times and places. The 300 or so people caught in this email method are the ones the authorities could easily track down and were the cheapest to find. As for the other 9,700 individuals, more sophisticated and expensive methods need to be employed to flush them out. And this doesn't include the hundreds of millions of ordinary curious males who naturally have trouble not thinking about sex when a girl is already physically well-developed with reasonable-sized breasts and a buttock that looks "sexy" and the girl is only 12 years old. Even though technically a 12-year old girl would be under age, too many males unaware of the age would have trouble knowing the difference in this day and age.

And so the cost for law enforcement to find out and track all these possible "paedophile" individuals would skyrocket and, no doubt, make the situation a whole lot worse (especially for those who are innocent and who are unable to live their lives properly with such constant suspicion from society; and if some are involved in the illegal activity, it will only pushed them further underground where it is harder to root out). The resources are simply not there to handle the shear numbers and sophisticated methods needed to be implemented if some individuals are allegedly not doing the right thing (and this is considered just a drop in the male population ocean).

With this in mind, one can now understand why the Australian authorities are so up tight and incredibly concerned about a 15-year-old boy's natural sexual curiosity and later fetish for "seeing" a 9-year-old girl's body (probably the only body he could find at the time to get his sex education and understand something about the female body — maybe there should be special places where the boy can freely see naked adult females for him to take pictures?). Fear and paranoia has reached a point where the boy is now considered a nasty "child sex offender" (or the potential to become one) as a result of his actions.

To reverse this trend, people need to be brought back to balance and a sense of reality through greater compassion and love and a greater development of the R-brain while understanding the fact that where the problem exists is not as widespread as the media makes it out to be. In addition, people need to focus on whether any harm had truly been created when, say, someone is just standing next to a child (and doing nothing), or accidentally sees the underwear of a girl as she walks by or rides a bike (and so what if the male has an erection? Should we still treat the male as a bad person because of it? Who cares, seriously?).

And even if it is intentional in the sense, say, a male wants to look longer at a girl's underwear or between her legs, does it really matter? So long as the male can use his imagination and can see nothing will ever eventuate from the scene given that he should know the problems it would bring if he is forceful in any way and the likelihood the girl would not be ready in any physical or emotional way, there should be no pressure on anyone to do anything. Clearly he would not do anything, so everyone would be safe. Only the girl can ever decide what she wants from the situation with the right education. Even if the girl thinks she is ready or wishes to explore some avenue despite her age, an older male would still ask questions with the girl to make sure she truly understands the situation. But if that doesn't make her re-think the situation, then the only way anything sexually intimate could occur is if the girl decides to play a game such as getting one of her older friends to pretend like she wants to be sexually intimate. When the male thinks this is legally okay and ends up at some place thinking he will experience something with this older girl and the male is then tied down and possibly blindfolded, it is very easy at this point for the younger girl to quietly make her grand entrance and turn the situation to her own advantage. In fact, she could easily be the sexual predator doing what she always wanted. And the guy would never be wiser about it. He will always think he had sex with someone at the legal age and, thus, believe it is okay. Of course, the probability of this situation ever happening is usually extremely small, one should not underestimate what young girls can do if they are truly confident about themselves and their own sexuality and what they may wish to explore on their own or with certain "friends" to help them get what they want.

Otherwise, while a girl does not pursue a male on these grounds (or attempt to chat him up, or quietly slip into his pocket naughty pictures of herself for him to look at), we can safely assume the girl is not ready and nothing will ever happen. So don't expect anything more from it. End of story.

In other words, is it really that bad to, say, observe a naked 13-year-old, or even a 9-year-old body? There should be no sexual response from looking at it if we all apply our imaginations to see the image differently. It is nothing sexual. It is just a human body like any other. But if there is any sexual response, there is usually a very good reason and it need not be because the older person is a "paedophile". The most likely reason is because many girls are quickly maturing with both available knowledge about sex online and the development of their bodies through good nutrition and exercise. As many girls, especially in Western society, are healthier and better fed resulting in a body that reaches sexual maturity quicker, one should not be surprised to see the body shape change sufficiently to reveal certain physical characteristics that many males do appreciate when they themselves reach their own level of physical maturity. This might involve the obvious appearance of breasts, or the buttocks and legs change in a way that is meant to increase the sexual attractiveness of females. It is perfectly natural. But so long as males have imagination, it should be possible to control such responses. And thus no further action should ever take place thereafter.

If you are not sure about this sexual attractiveness reaching a younger age as seen by males (and hence the difficulties males have when they observe certain things), perform a simple test. Get something to help you block out the top half of a person's body (including the breasts) and find someone that is clearly a female (this should be obvious as you scan the area for someone). It can be an older woman, or a younger girl. Once you find someone randomly (say, at a park), use the blocking test to cover the top half of the body (including the breasts). Now ask yourself, "How old do you think the female is just by looking at her buttocks and legs?" After you have come up with an answer, remove the barrier from your eyes and look at the whole person. Then, ask the same question again. If there is any significant discrepancy in the answers, this must tell you something. If the age you initially estimated is much older than you realised after seeing the whole person, why? Clearly the female body has developed some level of sexual maturity in the physical sense where it could pass off as an adult female in her late teens, or in her 20s or 30s without too much problem, while some older and petite woman may actually pass off as a 15-year-old or younger depending on whether the woman controls her diet and regularly exercises. Even if we ignore the latter class of females, you should already start to notice something interesting. Girls who you later realise is probably too young when you see the whole body actually look physically more sexually mature and older when looking from the waist down, and in greater numbers when looking at a number of different girls. If you think the age is older and legally safe, the body of the female in question has clearly developed sexually in a physical sense to already attract the interest of males as part of the natural process of finding potential mates (and with a high probability this female might well be able to achieve orgasms if she wanted to and perhaps even engage in sexual penetration, but we can't always assume this as we don't know — only the female will know if she is ready and she will let you know if that is the case). While some girls will be easy to ascertain their age and know reasonably well whether they are too young or "old enough", when the age of females reaches a point resulting in obvious physical changes to the body designed to increase the sexual attractiveness of females, it gets very difficult to see any differences when compared with other females who are aged 18-years, 28-years, in their thirties, or even women who exercise regularly in their forties or fifties and make efforts to look young. The only complicating factor might be the clothes that could give away the age. But if females wear a simple and kinky looking pair of shorts or dress to accentuate the buttocks and show their legs (and especially if you look from behind), would any male be able to know the age just by looking at them and nothing else? And can you be certain what you are seeing isn't from someone who is too young (or even too old)?

Even the way a young female positions her body and legs can change her attractiveness quite dramatically if there is already a certainly level of sexual development taking place but you can't be sure about it. In most cases you wouldn't know and will ignore it until the girl does something. Then you realise how it changes the scene dramatically. For example, you drive to a Subway store to buy lunch. You find a parking spot almost directly adjacent the store, but off to one side slightly in front of you. Purely by accident as you put the brakes on and take off the seat belt, you realise you are positioned such that you see two girls talking to each other on a table outside the store. One of the girls is clearly observed sitting on a chair and just so happens to wear a pair of shorts. Rather small, but the way she sits on the chair is ordinary and clearly you are not attracted by her legs or anything else as you can see she has to be too young, probably a student at high school. You walk out of the car, grab a Subway sandwich, and walk back to the car. You sit down in the driver seat, put the food on the passenger seat and as you do, something catches your eye. The girl you saw sitting normally on the chair has decided for some reason to lift one leg and place her feet on the edge of her seat and spreads her leg apart. She appears to be finding out something while talking to her friend. Must be nothing as she probably is unaware of what she is doing given her age, or if she knows, she seems to be testing something out and seeing what reaction takes place. So you have to pretend you are not looking at her. You quickly look elsewhere. Check the mirrors. Put on the seat belt. Bugger, why does your eye want to look back at her. As you do, the rear-view mirror just so happens to block the top half of the girl's body so you can't see her small breasts and her young age. Then you realise the way she has accentuated her buttocks by lifting one leg has helped to emphasize a much older and sexually more attractive female. And obviously made more difficult by the fact that her shorts is able to scrunch up in the middle and barely covers what's there between her legs is clearly increasing the sexual attractiveness of the female. Something has obviously changed. Just focussing on that lower portion of the body, you realise she can easily pass as a female who is older (certainly an 18-year old quite easily) and more sexually developed physically. Despite what you see, you simply drive off taking away the experience of something you weren't expecting but was nice. But you know nothing would ever eventuate from the experience (well, she definitely hasn't run up to the car and gave you a note with a phone number as if she wants something). So that's fine.

This might be the problem. The vast majority of males simply don't act on what they see. But a L-brain society, in hearing stories of paedophiles going too far, no matter how rare they are, we automatically assume the worst will happen should a male accidentally or even casually decide to look when the situation unexpectedly presents itself by a young female. It seems like we are expressing more of our own inner fears in a L-brain society of what could happen in the worse case scenario because of the way we see certain potentially L-brain people act on what they see on certain occasions when really it is incredibly rare to get to that point. And even then, sex education and good imagination development for all people will quickly ensure no one will ever reach this "rare case" scenario.

And why is it just men? The emphasis here might be on older L-brain men (especially those who are most likely to act on what they see). So what about women? Can't women molest young people as well? Yes they can. In that case, shouldn't we be watching women as well?

Let's look more closely at what happens when women become potential child sex offenders.

Again we have to realise the problem is rare, probably rarer than the situation with men. Or perhaps it is simply the fact that it is more difficult to prove since women don't decide to take a camera out and record the event. Whatever the case, one can see how probable it is for an older women to have an interest in someone younger.

How does an older women seek sex and what do they do to generate an interest in sex with the younger person?

Where older women do get involved with a young person, the interest is usually nothing more than to observe a child naked. In a few cases, a woman may wish to touch a child's naked body. In very rare cases, a woman may allow a child to explore and touch the woman's body. And if the child does develop any sexual desires, the woman may allow, say, a young boy to insert his erect penis inside her vagina. Otherwise, the child may simply be encouraged to touch and possibly perform oral sex on her.

While this may seem natural and innocent for women, there are important issues to realise when engaging in such activity. The biggest issue of all is the pressure placed on children to satisfy the fantasies of the adult women (and men). The pressure is both psychological and physical. Sometimes children are simply not ready. Children become adults only when they are physically, emotionally and psychologically ready to engage in any form of sex with other adults and only when there is consent.

But there is another issue. Children who are genuinely described as "children" because of their limited knowledge of sex and hence maturity on the issue of sex don't know what's right or wrong until other adults explain the situation. Then children may agree to the act as being "wrong" and eventually the older person involved in the sexual act will get into legal trouble. Likewise children may also agree to the act as being "right" because other adults (i.e. the ones grooming them) may explain the situation. We can see the difficulties children face here. So the only way to solve the problem is to provide a sex education at an early enough age so that children can make their own informed decisions of what's right for them.

So how do we properly protect children?

The only way is by arming them with a balanced and complete sex education. And it should start at the youngest possible age.

This is especially true for parents who know they can't be in every place at all times watching their children. The only thing parents can do is to teach children to recognise the situation when an adult is showing sexual interest in them and how to deal with the situation appropriately when, and if, it happens. Just simply saying "No." is probably the most important knowledge children can take away with them. And if it persists, children should immediately seek help from other adults.

On the other hand, there are children who do grow into an age where they develop the incredible maturity and understanding of sex. This is probably because their bodies have sexually matured at a younger age and they have learned about the subject online or with friends of the same or slightly older age.

When this happens, the boundary starts to blur. Then it no longer becomes a question of protecting children, but how to offer the best education on sex to the young adults?

When is it safe for a young adult to engage in sex? Unfortunately there is no safe time to do it. Not even at 9 years of age assuming consent and an understanding of sex is present. But when a young adult decides it is time, it will happen.

Parents can't chain their daughters or sons to something in the house to prevent them from having sex. It is illegal to do so even if the risk of underage sex from happening is great. When someone decides to have sex, you can be sure it will happen. Sure, there is a legal issue of when young people can have sex depending on which country you are living in. Young people may take this into consideration when deciding when to have sex. Although in most cases, they don't. Hence parents should not be surprised to learn if their children do end up experimenting with sex at someone's home well below the legal age of consent.

When this point is reached, we can only hope young people will have enough sex education to know what to do.

## UPDATE ##
2 November 2010

There are methods employed by authorities in Australia to determine whether a male is a potential "paedophile".

Firstly, the location is important. The most common places the authorities will be observing are in supermarkets located near high schools and/or colleges, and in public libraries. Also if there is a house with an open window next to a park where teenagers or children are likely to congregate, it can give authorities an opportunity to view and record potential males of interest when they approach young females.

For example, in a country town where few males go to a library to learn new things, the library is likely to be set up like a child-care centre with extra books to cater for mothers and their children during the day. Mothers and their children are usually welcomed in the library as there is a section of the building set aside for mothers to interact with their children by reading books. In another section of the library, school kids may arrive to do their studies including access to the internet machines. The rest is open planned in such a way that library staff constantly walk around innocently putting books away but in fact want to see where everyone is and what they are doing. Any older male sitting near or in areas where school kids or children are likely to be found will be targeted.

In order to elicit some kind of behavioural response to help determine the likely situation of an older male with children, it is not surprising to find a girl who will agree to do the testing as you sit on a couch opposite another couch with a coffee table in the middle. All you need to do is wait. Usually a single teenage girl aged around 12 to 14 years will arrive wearing loose and minimal clothing in the right parts of the body. Generally, if the girl has well-developed breasts, loose upper clothing is likely to be used to help show more of the mounds she possesses to a male who might be watching. As most girls usually do not have well-developed breasts, the emphasis will be the legs and buttocks. So more loose clothing and wearing less in this region appears important.

Where the legs and buttocks are used, shorts or a short dress is likely to be the item of clothing worn. The aim is for her to distract the male with her legs and get the male to initiate conversation. The first stage involves an emphasise on the legs by getting the male toturn his head and look up her shorts to see the profile of her buttocks if she decides to lift her legs and rest the feet on the edge of the coffee table and face the legs in the male's direction or partially to one side. She will pretend to be reading a book, but she will constantly be fidgeting as she moves her legs around as if she can't get comfortable for some reason, or is trying to distract the male and get him to look at her and eventually engage in some conversation. If the male is doing nothing, he should just be doing his own thing. However, the dead give away of the test becomes evident when the girl's mobile phone goes off 4 or 5 times with each time the girl answers, "No nothing." or "Yeah, I'm alright", then hangs up without saying "Bye!"

The time between each call is roughly about 3 minutes. But after the second time and in hearing those words, it is not surprising if the male decides to look at the girl to see what is going on. It is then that the male is likely to notice her unusual position on the couch and how the legs are placed on the coffee table. Then you see the shorts have ridden down the legs slightly and loose enough for you to see further up her leg. It is usually not enough to permit her underwear to be seen. But it is usually enough to show the side of her buttocks and thighs in reasonable detail. Of course, she continues to pretend like nothing is happening and ignores you. If nothing eventuates from the situation, so will the male.

The girl will eventually leave when she sees nothing is happening. So long as the male does not try to follow in the footsteps of the girl, the authorities will usually make the decision to ignore the male and assume he is not a potential sex offender.

As for potential female sex offenders, the number of cases are considered too small to be worthy of this level of scrutiny and/or surveillance compared to males.

## UPDATE ##
2 November 2010

A story has emerged suggesting a girl has not only successfully had sex at the age of 9 years with a slightly older male (considered a minor by the authorities according to the girl's story) with consent while she was visiting Romania, but has also given birth to a baby at the age of 10 years. The story was reported widely including Australia. The girl was already pregnant when she arrived in Spain to live with her family near the city of Jerez de la Frontera. We must presume the birth was natural and appears both the baby (named Micaela Navarro) and mother have made it through the experience safely and without mishap. Certainly a rare event unless the girl is physically large to handle the pregnancy and sexually well-developed to get involved in the sexual experience with a male.

In most other cases, a girl of this age would not have the physical size to cope with the pregnancy. Otherwise the result would normally be an early miscarriage of the baby, or a severely premature birth as the small body decides to expel the baby from the womb which would probably have to be removed by Ceasarian section. Otherwise both the girl and baby would almost certainly die through natural means.

How much people know about sex

There is a general tendency for L-brain types to be generally inexperienced and unknowledgeable about sex. Totally understandable if they are young. Yet they can act as if they are experts in the field when the moment of sex arrives or is likely to happen.

For example, it is not unusual for L-brain types to believe, for example, that the mere insertion of a penis inside a vagina is enough to get a woman to have an orgasm and/or immediately pregnant. Hence you will see some young L-brain girls wanting to see a condom on the man's penis before she allows it to rest against the entrance way to the vagina thinking unprotected sex with the penis resting outside the vagina would automatically result in immediate pregnancy. This is untrue.

Likewise young L-brain men think girls will automatically experience orgasms once the penis enters the vagina. Or with enough rigorous movement of the penis inside the vagina, a girl will reach her orgasm.

All this is not true. As much as L-brain people would like to think in this "black and white" approach to sex, the reality is that most girls or women have to be stimulated for sex in a different way to get excited and this usually involves the clitoris. Furthermore a woman needs to prepare herself in the sense that she needs natural lubrication to be produced for her vagina to make the experience pleasurable. And then you still need to be aware of the purpose of the clitoris and its position as well as the mind in stimulating a sexual response in females.

To help better understand this situation, you have to go back to when females were girls and the first moment they discovered certain pleasures from rubbing their crotch. The pleasures were not generated initially by inserting a finger or two into the vagina. Indeed the small membrane covering this aspect would have initially told her that the pleasure was slightly elsewhere. This is how a girl discovers the clitoris.

As a girl achieves a climax, she may discover how rigorous movement of the finger(s) can help to achieve climax relatively quickly and sometimes with greater pleasure.

Then a moment comes when the girl may rub herself too vigorously until she breaks the membrane and bleeds slightly. This may be a surprise as she wonders whether she has damaged herself in some way. But after a period of time she discovers everything returns to normal and she may continue with touching of her clitoris.

It is the same surprise as for a young boy when he first discovers his penis ejaculates. Before this moment, the boy may discover certain pleasures where he privately explores the situation until he achieve his own climax. He may also notice extra extra blood flow to the penis to help stiffen as a necessary part of the process. Rubbing the head of his penis and over his shaft using his hand or some other means will often help to achieve a more rigorous climax. He achieves climax and for a while there is no ejaculation. But this is only short lived. The body enters the next stage of his sexual development where his body will produce something else. The boy will learn what this is when he sees his first ejaculation. Understandably the boy will try to hold it in thinking it is his own urine that is trying to come out. But the next time or the time after that he may find it difficult to hold it in. Then the boy may choose to let it go.

The boy will look at the situation and see something odd. His ejaculate is not in the colour he is familiar with in association with his penis. Instead it is clear in colour and somewhat sticky. It will often take several more moments of reaching climax before he realises ejaculation is a natural part of the process.

As for the girl, she will only see the benefit of the vagina as a means of enhancing her climax when she decides at the right moment to place a finger or two inside the vagina. Once this is realised, the next level for a girl is to somehow realise the placement of the finger inside the vagina and the rubbing of the clitoris is meant to be simultaneous. It is something that will take time and practice.

For most girls in their teens and even into their twenties and sometimes early thirties, the clitoris will often remain the most important means of reaching climax in the early stages before they actually have a climax even when they decide to have sex with a boy (once the girls understand the benefit of a penis as a tool for enhancing a girl's climax, although hopefully the knowledge would extend to understanding the purpose of the ejaculation from a boy as well).

For some other girls, sufficient time and practice will quickly help the body and mind to see both the vagina and the clitoris as basically one sexual organ. When this happens, a male can effectively insert his penis inside and begin his movement and the females will find it relatively easy to reach and achieve climax.

This is why males find it so much easier to achieve their own climax. Anything that physically wraps around the penis and provides warmth, moisture and a little pressure will assist the males in achieving their climax. When it comes to females, it is more the opposite.

L-brain men should think of the clitoris of women as like the head of a penis. Just as much as men see the enjoyment of rubbing the head of their own penises against something firm, warm and wet in order to reach a climax — hence the reason why men have to move their penis in and out of a vagina — women need to brush or rub the clitoris in a similar way. But because a clitoris is not a long appendage, a woman cannot simply insert the clitoris into an orifice of a man. Instead she must rub the clitoris against something, which is usually the shaft of the penis or his pubic hair. Or they will use their fingers.

The penis is really something that tends to get in the way of the initial stages of sex for women. But once a woman reaches climax, the value of a penis to a woman (especially without the ejaculation unless the aim is to make a baby) is realised.

Then there are finer details that help to understand the purpose of the clitoris and ultimately how the male and female sex organs work and affect each other during sex.

For example, when it comes to the position of the clitoris, we have to realise there is a biological reason for why it sits outside the vagina. At first you might wonder why the clitoris isn't actually inside the vagina? It would seem pointless having it outside when stimulation of the clitoris would be more effective inside the vagina where the penis is moving over it or against it. Better still, it should be on the cervix where, for biological necessity, the female will want the penis to go in as far as possible so she can be sexually stimulated. Well, at least biologically speaking, we can see the benefits in terms of the how the male is physically at the point where he needs to be to help achieve a high chance of fertilisation of the woman's egg. However, the reality is that the clitoris has to be on the outside because reaching climax for a woman needs to be more independent of the movement of the man's penis. Each male takes different times to reach climax and any immediate stimulation of the clitoris in the early stages could see the woman not able to hold out for the period of time needed for the man to achieve his own orgasm. Or sometimes some men climax more quickly. By having the clitoris more on the outside, a woman has greater power to control when to achieve her climax with a man.

Think of the vagina as like a vesicle to hold the man's penis inside. To the woman, it is almost not seen as a sexual tool for reaching her climax. It is there basically to help him reach his climax. So long as the woman can produce enough natural lubrication to make it easier for her vagina to cope with the regular movement of the penis in what is crudely known as penetration, then she can relax herself and let the man achieve his own sexual stimulation through his movements. Only when she decides to reach her climax does she see the vagina and the penis as sexual tools for enhancing her own climax after stimulating her clitoris.

So what happens afterwards?

Now comes the time when sex is actually performed. Depending on the purpose of sex, both the male and female can decide how they wish to control their vagina and penis to ensure certain outcomes can be achieved from sex. If they do not decide and just let their emotions take them on a ride from start to finish, the primitive parts of the brain and accompanying pleasurable hormones are there to achieve the most important biological purpose: to procreate (i.e. to make a baby).

Now as soon as the man moves his penis, the vagina is already there to provide the natural physical compression and warmth needed to help sexually stimulate the penis. The aim is to help him pump more blood into his penis and make it firmer and harder, which is a biological necessity as it is the primary means by which sperms will be eventually transported and ejected into the female at the moment of the male's climax and to make sure the penis is as close to the womb as possible while minimising contact with the harsher environment of the vagina. This is why males often talk about the benefits of a tighter or smaller vagina to enhancing their own sexual experience. Whereas the warmth simply encourages the blood to enter the penis more effectively.

To prevent the loss of blood from the penis, there are valves inside the veins of the penis to prevent the blood coming out. However, the woman has developed a biological trick of her own to assist the male where the tight ring at the entrance to her vagina can provide more significant compression and acts as a clamp to prevent the physical loss of blood from the penis, especially at the crucial moment when the man reaches his climax and releases his seeds to the woman.

The vagina is a complex and multifaceted organ. At the same time, it plays a simple role of being there to attract the guy (who naturally knows the benefits it can bring to his penis although clearly at his own peril if he should allow himself to ejaculate) and get him inside where she knows how effective the vagina is to the man's own sexual stimulation as well as her own. It helps to guide his penis and keep it in position and aligned with the cervix to increase the chances of transporting the sperms when they emerge from his penis into the womb. Yet at the same time, together with the cervix, the vagina is also a powerful tool for providing a natural form of contraception without the use of a condom.

However, where the aim of the woman is to procreate, she knows her vagina must be used as a tool to stimulate the man's penis and later for him to go as deeply as possible for the sperms to enter her womb. So everytime he moves, she knows he is ever closer to approaching his own downfall as the longer he spends his time moving it the more quickly he approaches the biological precipice where it will be difficult to hold his seeds.

However, nothing is ever straight forward, especially for an older and/or experienced man. Because a man knows he can stop his movement inside of her as a powerful technique he has developed through experience and biologically (sometimes a woman may choose to extend the sexual experience for herself by changing sexual positions) of holding back from his climax, the woman has what we call certain other biological "tricks" up her sleeve so to speak in order to force the man to release his seeds. For instance, the woman sensing the moment can decide to rub her clitoris and reach her own climax. Then the involuntary contractions of the vagina rippling across the penis will give the sensation of movement to the man making it harder for him to hold back his own climax. His only hope is to physically use the muscles of his legs to force himself out of the woman.

This is where another trick comes into play. The woman can use her own legs to wrap around the lower back of the man and, with her weight, keep him down and inside of her. The aim is to force the man to spend just that little extra time inside her vagina, thereby making it much harder for the guy to hold out. If the man is anywhere near his climax, this extra bit of time may be all that is needed for a woman to achieve her goal of receiving the man's sperms for fertilising her egg.

It is this moment of using her "tricks" that the man realises his precarious position as any attempt to withdraw his penis would be met by a powerful set of muscles in the woman's legs holding onto him. Even if he could show tremendous strength causing the woman's body to lift off the ground, she will be able to move with him. And because a woman can achieve multiple orgasms very quickly between short periods of rest during sex, the regular rippling effect of her vagina over the man's penis is there to make it that much harder for the man to avoid his climax. All this is purely designed to enhance the biological chances of procreation.

Men also have their own biological "tricks" so to speak when it comes to ensuring procreation takes place.

Each male is different in how they approach the moment of ejaculation. Most will employ a technique where the speed of the penetration by the penis seems unchanging to the woman. So when the moment comes for him to ejaculate, the woman may not know of any changes in speed. The penetration will seem the same. Certainly the feeling of a penis getting "larger" as it moves may provide some clues to a woman. But in most cases, this is not enough. Once the penis reaches maximum size and length, it can still be 10, 15 or 20 minutes before the man reaches climax. And usually because the guy will attempt to "extend" the experience for as long as possible (usually because it isn't always possible for most men to experience the pleasures of a vagina on a regular basis so they will do what they can to make it last).

For most men, approaching the moment of ejaculation is usually met with relatively fast movement of the penis inside the vagina. However other men may have a natural tendency to go slow or choose a slower speed to make it easier for the woman to enjoy the experience. When going slow, there is often a focus on deeper penetration compared to men who choose a faster method. But this is not to say those who choose a faster method will not attempt to perform deep penetration. At any rate, when ejaculation does take place, the woman may sense something has "entered" her vagina and it isn't just the penis. But by the time the man decides to change the speed of his penetration, the ejaculations have usually been completed.

For other men, the penetration may be slow or fast, but the speed may change a few seconds before the first batch of sperms are expelled from the penis. At least this gives some indication, no matter how subtle the change, to a woman of when the moment has arrived. For other men, they may be more vocal and expressive in the face, giving more clues to women of when the moment does finally arrive.

When ejaculation takes placee, it is common for men to penetrate deeply for at least the first ejaculate and perhaps keep it in position for the next ejaculate and so on until he is satisfied. But some men may continue to "use" the vagina between ejaculates by pushing the penis almost out and push it back in with reasonable force and speed as this can help intensify the climax for a man and possibly maximise the amount of sperms he can ejaculate as well as achieve a higher chance of pregnancy.

Just like the width, length and shape of a penis can be different among males, we should not be surprised to find differences in how men ejaculate as well.

Okay. So the man is most likely to achieve his climax. Is this the end of the story?

As far as getting pregnant is concerned, pushing your penis all the way in during ejaculation does not guarantee pregnancy. The environment of the vagina is extremely harsh because of the highly acidic nature of the lubrication fluids secreted by the vagina. Also compression of the penis during a woman's climax could also physically reduce the chances of the head of the penis from opening up the cervix as required for an increased chance of achieving pregnancy. Then there are questions regarding the quantity and quality of sperms depending on the age and health of the man and, similarly, the quality of the egg as provided by the woman. And there could be other complicating issues to consider as well.

Of the several hundred million sperms that emerge from an ejaculation, only about 400,000 sperms may make it through the cervix and into the womb (assuming the woman is relaxed and the head of the penis is sufficiently enlarged to gently open the cervix). And when in the womb, there is still about a 33 per cent chance of pregnancy taking place because of the distances involved for the sperm to reach the egg, some vaginal fluids may enter the womb and other factors, which is necessary in evolution in order to obtain the best quality sperms reaching the egg (10) and fertilising it. It is like a game of rugby league where the man that reaches the other side and scores a try is usually the fittest and strongest. The same is true of sperms reaching for the woman's egg inside the womb. The only difference is that each sperm is already carrying the ball we call the genetic material of the man and all the sperms are running for the try line to achieve the goal of impregnating the egg of the female and so propagating the species.

NOTE: It is a pity men who deliver the sperms think in the same way as a sperm (i.e. L-brain) when it comes to having sex with women. It seems men believe women's bodies are something to be conquered and won, and the sex itself has to be centred so much around thrusting and penetration all the time. In fact, the act itself is not unlike what a sperm has to do with an ovum in order to achieve fertilisation.

We have to remember, it is actually quite difficult to get a woman pregnant, something that many L-brain types don't realise. This is why in some cases where a woman chooses a man to provide his genetic material to make a baby that she may also choose to engage in more than one sexual act with the man in a short period of time, as each sexual intercourse and the release of sperms increases the chances of getting her pregnant. This is why it is not unusual for a woman who is ready to make babies to suggest to her partner a weekend away at some secluded hotel, beach home or some other place. While it is possible one night or even a 5 minute quickie of rough and furious L-brain sex may be enough, a woman who is "ready" is likely to use her time over a weekend to repeatedly approach the man for more than one session of sex to maximise her chances of getting pregnant.

Another thing not commonly understood, especially by L-brain females, is how a penis ejaculating inside a vagina is actually a safe form of natural contraception. Only experience can help females to realise this fact. The critical thing is making sure the penis does not penetrate deeply enough into the vagina for this technique to work.

Where condoms prove to be useful is where you do not want to get pregnant but can't be confident both you and your partner can control the sexual experience at the moment of ejaculation to benefit from the natural contraception provided by the vagina. And, of course, condoms are a powerful means of avoiding getting sexually transmitted diseases (assuming all other sources of fluid transmission is controlled and depending on the nature of the disease). Even if you are confident of your partner's health, condoms are still useful when you first have sex with a new partner as it is sometimes difficult to control the experience (the intense emotions will naturally drive the experience more than the frontal lobes of the brain trying to think about the event carefully). Over time this will change, with your frontal lobes kicking in and giving your heightened awareness at every moment of sex, including the moment of climax. Then you will have the power to engage in sex and achieve orgasm without protection and knowing you have applied the natural form of contraception, including other means such as sudden withdrawal of the penis to ejaculate outside the vagina and so on.

Seriously, all you have to do to avoid pregnancy is to ensure the penis doesn't penetrate deeply. You see, the crucial moment when pregnancy occurs is when the cervix can slightly open up because of the size of the head on the penis. Just placing the head just beyond the tight ring at the entrance into the vagina and ejaculating, sometimes by putting the penis at a certain angle to force the sperms to hit the wall of the vagina, and the sperms will have no chance of surviving, let alone reach where they are needed for procreation purposes. The harsh acidic nature of the environment within the vagina and the physical difficulties reaching the cervix and passing through it unscathed ensures the sperms will die off. And with contraction of the muscles around the vagina, women can force out much of the sperms if they so choose.

MAXIMISING THE CHANCES OF GETTING PREGNANT On the other hand, some couples wanting to have a child may seek the optimum methods and conditions for maximising the chances of getting pregnant. If this is the case, you should follow these techniques:

1. Choose the right time to have sex. Certainly you would not want to have sex when a woman is about to experience her menstrual cycle, or even immediately afterwards. Give it a week or two to ensure a new egg is in position within the fallopian tubes and is ready to accept a sperm for fertilisation.

2. Make sure the man has built up plenty of sperms in his testicles prior to having sex. It means he should refrain from masturbating or wanting to have lots of sex. If the aim is to maximise the chances of pregnancy, regular sex can help so long as there is sufficient sperms to withstand the harsh environment inside the woman's body and to physically take them through the cervix during the moment of ejaculation. Otherwise it is better to wait until sufficient sperms numbers are available. As for the quality of the sperms, make sure the man consumes plenty of healthy foods containing vitamins, minerals (including zinc and iron), and take adequate quantities of high-quality and very lean sources of protein. Foods considered good are fresh oysters, strawberries, tomatoes, eggs, fish and a dose of Vitamin C from oranges or other fruits. The man should not be drinking alcohol, and definitely he should not smoke for any period time. Finally,exercising regularly for a healthy heart and stronger muscles will lead to better performance during sex and can make the physical transferring of sufficient amounts of genetic material to the woman more effective.

3. The woman should eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables and adequate protein. Do not drink alcohol or smoke for many months prior to having sex and certainly not afterwards. Take regular exercise prior to having sex.

4. The man and the woman should also find plenty of opportunities to relax including extended periods of sleep at least a month before sex is to take place to allow a healthy production of sperms and egg and other benefits.

5. When sex does take place, pregnancy can naturally occur at any time of the day or night. But the optimum time is at night after an extended period of sleep during the day to ensure the body is alert and has enough energy to carry the couple through the sexual experience. But there is also another reason. The way the body is designed to hold the genetic material for reproduction is to ensure minimal exposure to light and other radiation sources. There is a good reason for this. High-frequency radiation and your genetic material do not mix. Assuming your body is healthy and free from toxins, viruses and other foreign material (the couple should take extra effort to be hygienically clean for the experience and eat healthy foods for a healthy immune system), you need to protect your sperms and egg from radiation to avoid the possibility of additional unwanted genetic mutations from taking place. Don't worry about the extra warmth generated during sex. The body will naturally regulate the temperature of this genetic material stored in your body with only a short period of time during sex where the passage of sperms through the penis and vagina where the temperature will increase. But once the egg and sperms meet, the temperature returns to a constant level. All this is taken care of for you by the body. The only thing you have to do is don't have sex where you could receive high-frequency radiation. So yes, don't try to have sex inside a nuclear power plant. Seriously, the best time is at night and protected from other sources of radiation.

6. During sex, the aim should be for the woman to experience her climax first to help relax her vagina and reduce the amount of the sperm-killing vaginal fluids from interfering with the sperms. Spend as much time as needed to ensure this is the case. After her climax, the man should be given enough time to relax and allow his penis, especially the head of the penis, to grow and reach the required size. This will be important the moment when the penis is within range of the woman's cervix where the head of the penis will slightly expand the cervix opening. Because once the man is able to ejaculate, a slight opening in the cervix will help to increase the chances of enough sperms entering into the womb.

7. If the man has built up enough sperms, one ejaculate of sufficient size moving at high speeds from his penis should be sufficient to burst through any fluid membrane covering the cervix and enter the slightly more forgiving environment of the womb where the sperms will have to work their way across the rough terrain presented by the wall of the womb to find the egg (basically nature's way of selecting the healthiest sperms for fertilising the egg). This should be enough to get a woman pregnant. But if maximising the chances of pregnancy is important, the man should attempt to penetrate as deeply as possible into the woman's vagina each time he wishes to ejaculate. In this way, a sufficient quantity of the sperms should enter the womb. As many as four ejaculates is likely to be achieved in this way from a healthy man with a strong heart and from well-practised muscular contractions in his penis. After that, it doesn't matter as the speed of ejaculation will probably not be sufficient to achieve anything. In which case, the man should relax, partially withdrawing his penis and letting the rest of his sperms get wasted inside the vagina.

8. There is talk of the woman needing to lie on her back with her legs in the air to allow gravity to help the sperms work their way toward the egg. Unless the woman knows there is considerable amounts of sperms in her womb and prefers to get pregnant quickly without any form of natural selection to take place when choosing the healthiest sperms, this should be fine. But pregnancy will still occur even if the woman is on top and sitting on the man during the moment of his climax. The critical thing is ensuring a reasonable number of healthy sperms has entered the womb. Afterwards, it really doesn't matter. Nature will take its course. And the healthiest sperms will reach for the egg.

9. The period following sex is just as important. You should remain relaxed, doing only light exercises to maintain a strong healthy body. Eat plenty of clean and healthy foods for a strong immune system and begin the process of feeding the developing embryo to become the healthiest baby you can produce.

This is why R-brain types (e.g. a number of women and those L-brain men with enough knowledge and experience about the subject) tend to get into a position where the penis has limited penetration and at an angle such that the ejaculate would hit the walls of the vagina and not directly at the cervix. As further protection, it is not unusual for some R-brain types to use lemon juice inside the vagina. Why? Because sperms are more easily destroyed by the acidic conditions of the lemon juice.

Because many L-brain people are not likely to be aware of this basic knowledge of natural contraception (and have experience to do it right when the moment arrives) as learned by R-brain types (partly because a L-brain society feels it is necessary to hide the knowledge instead of being open to discuss it in proper sex education at a young enough age), it is quite common to see L-brain types ending up having children (often at a young age) and later struggling to make ends meet as the cost to look after the children is discovered to be very high.

This is the difference between amateur and professional people involved in sex. Having sex with someone is not the thing that makes you professional. Anyone can perform sex just like the professionals. The only difference is being aware of the techniques to avoid pregnancy and knowing when the moment comes to apply the techniques.

In professional situations of sex, which may get taped on film in what society calls pornography, there is an understanding between the woman and man after some experience to know how to apply basic natural means of contraception. You will often see in professional porn movies how the guy has learnt to penetrate only just enough to keep the head of his penis inside the vagina while he ejaculates. And the woman experienced in this method and feeling comfortable with the right people having the same knowledge is often more relaxed about having sex.

The couples involved are usually already in a long-term relationship. But enough experience in sex should allow the same technique to be applied if the encounter is a once-off sexual encounter (i.e. a casual relationship with a stranger).

Beyond that, something that looks professional will usually involve choosing a fancy location with good lighting, good quality clothing and lingerie and, if filmed, to use a higher quality camera. However, anyone can be a professional in this field.

How the knowledge of sex is obtained by different types

To gather knowledge about sex, L-brain types prefer to do it with someone of the same age and to watch themselves do it in the privacy of their own homes. They believe all the knowledge of sex is surmised in one simple penetration which is usually fast and furious with the aim to reach a climax as quickly as possible. Later, about 3 to 9 months after the sexual intercourse, L-brain people suddenly discover other knowledge about sex such as how babies are made and how to use contraception.

For R-brain types, the knowledge of sex usually comes from exploring their own bodies first as they discover certain feelings developing over time. Then they apply their imagination to understand "how it works" and why. They may read up on it. Look at a large number of pictures or a few depending on how much knowledge they have acquired from reading and understanding their own bodies. They may also develop a picture of the type of partner he/she may wish to experience sex with.

When the time comes, R-brain will act out their wish to experience sex with the right person. Sometimes with someone of the same age and sexual maturity as themselves or, more likely, with an older person.

Incest is another issue requiring some explanation.

Incest is defined as someone having sex with a member of his/her own family or close relative of the same genetic lines.

Can it occur? Yes. Biologically speaking, there is no physical limitation preventing sexual intercourse taking place between two consenting family adults. The penis and vagina are designed the same way and is no different from any other individual in society. However, biology has over millions of years come up with at least one solution to minimise this situation and for a good reason too.

The reason has to do with genetics. At the moment we conceive a new offspring inside a fertilised egg, there are inherent genetic mechanisms designed to make a firm comparative check of the parent genes and choose the best genes for making the healthiest offspring possible. However, if the genes are found to be sufficiently the same, the mechanisms will not be able to tell whether a genetic mutation may existent in the family members and should be removed when creating a fresh set of genes for the new offspring. If the mutation is non-beneficial, it will be passed on to the offspring. Also any additional mutations in the older adult in the family could increase the number of genetic diseases and non-beneficial mutations ending up in the offspring thereby shortening his/her lifespan.

The healthiest offsprings come when the genetic material is sufficiently diverse and different within the same species.

To make sure the genes are sufficiently different, the body has developed at least one biological mechanism to entice relationships of non-family kinds to develop and flourish. It involves the immune system and the type of body odours we emit.

You see, the potential attractiveness in family members is naturally minimised because when the genes are similar, they will produce similar immune systems and this produces chemicals in our natural body odour (e.g. pheromones) to smell unattractive. Fortunately this changes for a person from another family where the immune system is sufficiently different. It results in the body odours being more acceptable to the nose and therefore likely to result in some form of a relationship developing and potentially leading to sex.

The human body has a way of seeking partners of sufficiently different immune systems (and hence the genes) in order to maximise the health of the offspring. And the body has developed mechanisms to ensure this usually happens.

Also there is a psychological component controlling whether our behaviours lead to the right kind of relationships. The mind looks for differences in how we appear. It we look the same in many of our facial features and body type, we usually do not find each other attractive enough. But if there are sufficient differences in our appearances, then so long as those differences are seen as beneficial and there is still a sense of symmetry and health about the face and body, we tend to find this person more attractive.

However, even these two methods are not foolproof. We know this because there are cases where family members can still be attracted to one another. Therefore we must acknowledge its existence and give below a likely explanation of why it happens.

When incest occurs, the most common are the daughter-to-father and the daughter-to-mother relationships. Less common is the son-to-mother relationship and even rarer is the son-to-father relationship.

One theory why incest occurs is because the father of the family is not the true biological father (maybe the mother had been keeping a big secret). If the father is healthy and attractive-looking (and probably a sole parent) with no intimate relationships, it is not unusual for, say, a daughter (usually the only child in the family) to have a crush on the father if the relationship is considered close and highly supportive. If she reaches a sufficient age where her body is changing and has strong sexual feelings she wants to explore with someone, she might feel more safer with an older man to help her understand those feelings and fulfil her needs. Yet somehow she chooses in her mind to have the one person she feels most comfortable and happy to share her experience and to learn about it, which is her father.

If she pursues this relationship on a sexual level, she will wear more sexually-revealing clothing in the privacy of the home when he is around. She may ask him to help her button up her blouse or tie up her bra on her back and ask him is she likes her clothes. She may try to do the same things as his father. She may leave the bathroom door slightly open where he might accidentally see her naked at the right time. She may also ask on occasions if she could sleep in his bed while the father thinks nothing of it until she decides to touch him and reveal her sexual desires and see what the reaction might be.

In the fraction of these case where the father allows the daughter to pursue her sexual fantasies, it will usually end up being nothing more than a once-off event and serve as a way for the daughter to acquire enough knowledge and confidence she needs to have sex with other males. The sex will not be seen by the daughter as a way to make babies. It is purely for the enjoyment of it and in learning about the finer points when having sex with a male. Afterwards she will try it with someone else.

Very rarely does this type of relationship continue. Even more rare is when the daughter decides to live with his father until he reaches a certain age or dies before considering another man. For most daughters, the sexual aspect of the relationship will eventually end and soon she will become interested in another man where she will settle down and start a family. The great "family secret" of her incestual relationship with her father will probably never be spoken about for the rest of her life.

Likewise the same could be true of a son to a non-biological mother. Much less common is between son and father in homosexual relationships. But more common is the daughter-to-mother relationship. In this latter situation the daughter learns so much from the mother that a special bond develops. The two will seem inseparable. Eventually the issue of sex is raised and either the mother allows the daughter to explore her body or the mother helps the daughter to explore hers, or she may introduce another man for a threesome to help teach the daughter the finer points of sex.

For example, it is not unusual for the mother to show her daughter what happens during sexual intercourse with the help of a man. She may stop the session, put on a condom and allow the daughter to explore and experience sex herself and all the while the mother continues to teach what happens next and the signs to look for as a man approaches his climax. She may even suggest different positions and types of contraceptives. Then, at the end, it is not unusual for the mother to take over and finish the guy off so to speak where the daughter can observe the results of the sex.

When the parents are not the biological mother or father of the offsprings, this can be understood purely on a biological point-of-view irrespective of the family structures set-up before the relationship began. However there are cases where even the parents are the true biological offsprings and yet somehow incest can take place. What is going on here?

It is still not clear why. Perhaps there is a faulty gene where the biological mechanisms are not working properly? Or maybe there is another reason?

Should incest take place? Well, clearly it should not when no consent is given. If that is not enough, the genetic reasons should be enough to prevent the activity. Yet despite this, sometimes the biological mechanisms can fail and consent can still be given no matter how society may frown upon it.

For example, in another case observed in South Australia, we learn how a father who has not seen her daughter for a long time can reunite after many years (perhaps 15, 20 or 30 years later). He is not aware she is her daughter. Similarly the daughter finds this man "attractive" but is also oblivious to his genetic make-up. She talks to him. He shows interest. A relationship forms. And sex may take place. The couple may decide to have a baby. The baby is born and is, luckily, healthy on this occasion.

When the father and daughter decided to take a genetic test and discover the man is her father, should society get upset? No. Should the authorities find out as was the situation with this case, given that incest is classified as an illegal activity in Australia (and most countries), the most the couple would receive is "monitoring" by police. The reality is, incest happens. It only becomes incest when the people engaged in the sex know at the time they are family members, and society knows about it too. Otherwise it is just normal sex. End of story.

In the real world, such behaviours, when they do occur on rare occasions, quickly fade away. And for more than 99 per cent of the population, biological mechanisms are designed to make sure it never happens.

Incest is an extremely rare event.

After sex

After having sex once, twice or for as long as the L-brain person continues to see the "attractiveness" in the other person, he/she may decide to stay with the sexual partner for life. Otherwise, it is more likely for L-brain people to have sex with many different partners throughout life, either within or outside marriage.

This explains why many women in Western "L-brain" societies are strongly preoccupied with making themselves look attractive. In order to attract suitable sexual partners, and/or to maintain an existing one in marriage for as long as possible, there is a feeling among women that they must spend thousands of dollars on sophisticated make-up, anti-aging creams, going to the gym 6 times a week for 6 hours at a time, and/or having regular cosmetic surgery to make themselves look good.

For example, entertainer Joan Rivers said, "My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn." (The Sydney Morning Herald: Quotes. 30 April-1 May 2005, p.42.)

At least one survey confirms this view. The results of a six-month survey conducted by the Australian Women's Weekly were televised on the Channel 9 News program on 23 January 2001. It showed that of the 17,000 Australian women who answered the questions in the survey, 70 per cent of all women said they thought or believed they were overweight and this helped to contribute to the 52 per cent of all women who felt they were depressed. Of those women who said they were depressed, about 40 per cent asked medical professionals for anti-depressants.

Another interesting statistic is the number of women who would have cosmetic surgery if money was no object. The survey found 70.2 per cent of women would agree to having cosmetic surgery.

And this survey doesn't include the increasing number of women under the age of 10 who are now becoming anorexic in the aim of reaching their own imbalanced idea of what a perfect body image should look like.

These gloomy 'body image' statistics should not have to be this way if women could associate themselves more with R-brain people to help stop this comparison of themselves with others. At least this should balance their body image view. According to R-brain people, they understand that not everyone can be a supermodel, nor do they expect others to be one. Although they like to be on their own, R-brain people are quite happy to associate themselves with others and help them where they can, and how people look is not a major issue for them. In fact, R-brain people always see the beauty in others on the inside and they are unlikely to dwell on any particular outer 'body image' issue of concern to others.

As far as how R-brain people attract a potential sexual partner, if he/she really wanted to look attractive, he/she will not spend a great deal of money or time in doing so. Good natural and healthy foods, moderate exercising, quick brush of one's own clean hair, clean teeth and showing a nice natural smile is probably enough for any R-brain person to attract someone of the opposite sex. Any further attraction power will be left entirely on the R-brain person's own inner strength, character, personality, and natural "glow" or "health" to do the job.

For example, R-brain people prefer to take care of the body on the inside by doing simple things like eating a good clean and simple diet containing plenty of fresh vegetables and seeds for a healthy body, quality fish protein and good fish fats for a healthy mind, plenty of the cleanest water available to drink, moderate physical exercises (11), keeping the body hygienically clean on the inside and outside, thinking young and positive, reducing unnecessarily high stresses in life, experiencing regular changes in temperature (e.g. sitting in a hot sauna and then taking a cold shower and then repeating the process), cleaning the skin pores of oil and dirt, and generally living in an environment that helps to protect oneself from the relentless UV radiation will help to maintain a generally youthful appearance for R-brain people for a very long time.

Beyond that, R-brain people don't expect others to go to an exceptional degree to look attractive to them nor will they attempt to make themselves more attractive to others (other than the natural attractiveness that comes from a healthy body). It is because they understand their own good health will take care of that aspect naturally.

On the other hand, R-brain people who choose carefully who they want to have sex with will often stick to the same partner for a very long time, whether or not they decide to marry. Although it is not unusual for R-brain people to have long-term sexual relationships with many different partners outside of marriage especially if their current sexual partner is openminded to the idea, once they are married, R-brain people are usually extremely faithfully to their partner for the rest of their lives if this is what their partner wants.

As for L-brain people, they usually do not see the consequences of their action. Therefore it is not unusual for L-brain people to look surprised or worried if they discover a pregnancy soon after sex. Or if the sexual partner has been discovered having sex with someone else, the consequences for the L-brain people can be jealousy, anger and other negative emotional and physical behaviours. Otherwise, if L-brain people don't expect to see any consequences arising from the sex and are on their own, L-brain people will normally seek a large number of other potential sexual partners without staying with the one main partner.

As for R-brain people, they are much more understanding of the needs of human beings as well as the consequences when it comes to sex. Hence they have either already dealt with the sexual issues, or are prepared to deal with them immediately during and/or after sex. Furthermore, R-brain people normally stick with their preferred sexual partner for a long time before contemplating the idea of moving on and finding another sexual partner. And if they are married, it is unlikely they will choose another sexual partner for the rest of their lives.

Males are more inclined to being promiscuous and women more choosy about their sexual partners. This behavioural characteristic of the sexes is thought to be embedded in our genes. As Jerome Burne writes:

" findings...confirm that the battle of the sexes is rooted in our genes. The idea that men and women have different agendas is now fairly familiar. While men can theoretically father an almost infinite number of children, women are strictly limited in the number they can have, so it makes sense for men to be more promiscuous and women more choosy." (12)

But at the same time we can see an environmental factor affecting the decision men and women make. For a start, it is women that carry the babies and must deliver them. Women also have usually one egg to fertilise in a short period within a month. And women sometimes need men to be the provider for the mother and child.

These factors alone would naturally entice women to be choosy in the partner they want for sex.

On the other hand, men tend to have short lives often defending a territory and its resources or fighting against predators. And without being preoccupied with pregnancy and giving birth combined with their continuous production of sperms (approximately 1,000 sperms per second), it is natural for men to seek opportunities to have sex with as many females as possible. The male body naturally needs to expel the sperms in some way to allow the production of new sperms, but also men need to pass on the genes to the next generation before they die.

However, with the right support, it is possible to use environmental factors to teach young men and women to balance their sexual behaviours depending on how society values those behaviours.

For example, should men believe they need to continually take control in bed because they think their survival is at risk if they don't? Somehow women need to teach men a different way to have sex.

The problem with modern Western society's view of sex

Let's face it. Modern Western society's view of sex is somewhat one-sided (or imbalanced). Our current view of sex (in Western society) is based on how other L-brain people have understood sex to be. And this is usually fast, furious, rough sex with an emphasis on large sexual organs and breasts, trying to produce the most ejaculate it seems, and ensuring the man "scores" with a woman by penetrating deeply and achieving orgasm. It is the kind of sex that emphasises individualism where sex is thought of as fulfilling one's own sexual needs but not consider the other person in the process. And there is little or no thinking of the consequences.

As Anne Hollonds, chief executive of Relationships Australia NSW, said:

"We're a very individualistic society now. I think it makes it harder to sustain a relationship because we're oriented towards ourselves, not looking out for the other person. Good sex, or great sex, does require us to do that." (Taffel 2004, p.5.)

However, true sex goes beyond the spontaneity and needing to see everything. Nor does it have to be fast and furious. Real sex reaches to the deeper levels of our minds where we can visualise, understand how the other person and the rest of the universe contributes to the experience, and ultimately to reach the next level beyond of greater spirituality.

This is where the R-brain can help. It is your tool to balancing your thinking by visualising things first before acting out your thoughts. It pushes you to be more holistic and make you realise the link other people and the environment has to your experience of sex.

It avoids the awkwardness and clumsiness some L-brain people find in having sex.

Consequently any good religion and psychologist should be teaching us this R-brain aspect of sex, to help us see how we can approach balance (or the concept of God) through the experience. We see aspects of this concept in the way some religious people talk about it.

For example, Dr Patricia Weerakoon is a sexologist at Sydney University and the presenter on Anglican Media's Good Sex program. Some of her religious "R-brain" views come to the forefront when she said:

"God created us for a perfect relationship and he told us to be committed in a way that you are looking to please the other person rather than yourself. It is looking at the other person and thinking, "How can I please you?"" (Taffel 2004, p.5.)

It doesn't matter whether the religion comes from Western or Eastern cultures. The concept is the same: learn to balance your life by applying the tools you have to create positive things in the world and you will see more of God's work in the universe. The fact that every human being has a R-brain and a L-brain means we can all experience more of what it is like to approach God through having better and more balanced sex in a way which is truly life-changing.

It is up to you to decide whether you are happy with the sex or whether we should go further to reach for that more balanced state.

While religion should be more embracing of sex and understanding how the L- and R-brain plays their part, some Western religions can be highly restrictive on the issue.

In the Australian publication titled The Problem with Pornography: A DVD resource for young men, addressing the issue of pornography and its impact (Choicez Media, 2006) supplied to mostly Christian schools where men have been segregated from women, it tends to focus on the negative aspects of pornography to the point where it assumes the subject "has a negative effect on people's lives" (p.6). The assumption extends to saying, "As many damaged men, women and children are able to attest, what may start from innocent beginnings can have devastating consequences" (p.6).

And the reason for making this assumption after reviewing a selection of carefully chosen evidence without understanding how the L-brain and R-brain works and the limitations people apply to sex when both sides of the brain are not fully developed can be seen below:

"Pornography works to undermine masculinity and femininity and the meaning of love and intimacy. Pornography, whether softcore or hardcore, promotes a utilitarian view of human sexuality in which women exist solely for the purpose of male consumption and sexual pleasure. Pornography divorces sex from intimacy and human connection and encourages a sexually aggressive and possessive mentality towards women. There is certainly widespread concern and evidence to support a link between regular consumption of particular pornographic images and sexual aggression and violence. Having said this, it is important to assert from the beginning that by its very nature pornography in itself IS violence against women. It is an affront to the dignity of the human person and what it means to be a man and a woman." (p.6, emphasis as in the original)

It is worth acknowledging the fact that there are examples where women may appear to be treated somewhat poorly by men. The main reason why we still have this material today is primarily to make profit. And to achieve this, the producers have to find ways to differentiate the material from others to help increase the likelihood of its sale. But in nearly all cases, such material are done by actors pretending to be violent. It is not an actual act of violent behaviour.

Furthermore, we should remember that in female domination situations, females have also been known to be equally violent and aggressive toward men. The publication is unfortuntely too focussed on just men being violent toward women.

No matter how such material is created, there is no acceptable reason to have violent material in any form for public consumption especially where there is a risk young people are able to obtain such material. Because there is a risk young men will consider the behaviours acceptable and young women will become more cautious or frightened of men. The publication understand this when it stated:

"...young people who have regular exposure to specific kinds of pornography (particularly of a violent nature) tend to be more sexually aggressive and develop more tolerant attitudes toward sexual violence." (p.11)

Okay. So what does the evidence state when the violent forms of pornography are removed? Do men become violent by viewing non-violent forms of mainstream sex? Again the publications manages not to discuss this aspect.

It has to be understood that once you take out these rarer and unnecessary violent pornographic materials, there is a much wider range of benevolent forms of sexual activity that isn't exploitative of men and women. It would be very unwise to assume all pornographic material of this type automatically leads to "violence against women". Yet the publication somehow concludes and makes this assumption for all benevolent forms of pornographic material.

Well, anyone who makes a review of internet pornography can also conclude in the opposite way as well. In other words, we can easily say that men who view traditional mainstream and non-violent sexual material between two consenting adults (18 years and over) are more likely to allow women to sexually abuse them if it came to a pinch just so that they can experience say a little bit of facesitting by the women and perhaps sex later. So maybe the conclusion should be that pornographic material can lead to "violence against men". But if you look carefully, there is no violence.

All the couples involved are willing participants and are done under controlled conditions. Women are always careful not to harm men in their sexual aims. The same is true for men.

Yet the publication somehow manages not to mention these benevolent forms of sexual activity and its percentage compared to other forms. In fact, it combines the much rarer unwanted violent forms of pornography such as rape and extreme pornography such as incest from the more abundant benevolent forms to the point where the writer assumes much of the material found on the internet contains these extreme and violent material. As stated on p.11:

"Much of what can be found on the internet is extreme and disturbing even for most adults, and includes depictions of a variety of sexual acts including rape, incest, sexual torture, bestiality, coprophilla and much more."

To reaffirm this view, the writer selects a few examples of violent behaviour in pornographic materials and makes the blanket assumption that all pornographic material is bad.

We have to be careful not to make generalised statements covering all pornographic material. If anything, we have to realise the latter form of pornography (i.e. the benevolent type) has the ability to teach young males to become balanced men by understanding the importance of the R-brain in balancing their own sexual behaviour and ensuring women enjoy as much as they can from the experience while being aware at all times the consequences of sex and making decisions on how sex should be approached when controlling those consequences (e.g. avoiding pregnancy).

The publication does not address this point.

The publication relies heavily on the results of a survey conducted on 16-17 year olds by Newspoll in 2003 titled Youth and Pornography in Australia: Evidence on the extent of exposure and likely effects. The results were published in a discussion paper (pp.v-vii) by the Australia Institute under the same title. The results of the survey as mentioned in this Christian-based publication were:

  • 84 per cent of boys thought it was normal and widespread for boys of their age to watch an X-rated movie in contrast to 4 per cent for girls.
  • 73 per cent of boys have previously viewed an x-rated movie.
  • One in 20 on a weekly basis and more than 1 in 5 watch one x-rated movie or similar material at least once per month.
  • 9 out of 10 boys think it is widespread among their age group to look at internet sex sites.
  • 83 per cent of girls believed boys looked at internet sex sites.
  • 2 in 5 boys use the internet deliberately to access pornography.
  • 84 per cent of boys and 60 per cent of girls had been accidentally exposed to sexually explicit material while using the internet.
  • Children are easily exposed to violent and extreme behaviour via internet pornography.

In points 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, we find these are not astonishing revelations by any means at least from a R-brain perspective. The results speak of the normal behaviour shown by L-brain types of which boys are naturally inclined to think and behave when they are curious about something. If it isn't access to such material, they are more likely to learn about it from their own girlfriends in which case a good sex education will be necessary before anything unexpected occurs (e.g. pregnancy). We cannot stop young males from having sex. Parents can tell boys to be abstinent, but we know they will not listen until they have either experienced sex and perhaps the consequences or made their own choices. So provide adequate source of materials that is balanced and fully representative of the real world of sex. Let them understand it in the own time and place and in the privacy of their own homes if they wish. And let them decide. The most important part in all of this is making sure males understand the importance of listening and learning with a consenting partner who they may wish to experience sex with. As for the 4 per cent of girls, it is usually not necessary for females to watch a X-rated video except out of curiosity sake or where there is some L-brain development. When there is any form of sexual development taking place in girls, most of the X-rated thinking occurs in the mind.

In point 7, it suggests girls and boys accessing educational material through the internet (should they be classified as children or young adults?) are able to see links to pornographic sites and pictures in search engine results. Well, unless there is a major problem with search engines these days, all search engines should have the filtering mechanisms turned on by default to prevent such sites from appearing in a search result. The only way young people can access these sites if they know how to turn off the filter, in which case it is clear they are now curious about the subject as their bodies change. But even if the filters are not perfect, asking a question of whether young people has accidentally seen a link to a sexually-explicit site or one picture of a naked woman or man does not tell us how often this occurs. The percentage given represents young people who may have seen something representing a naked person or sexually-explicit material or link over a period of say 10 or 15 years. The real questions that should be asked is, has any of the young people decided to click on the link to look at the material? And have they continued to pursue the subject further through additional searches? And what areas of the material interest them the most?

This is of greater interest to adults. Because if children are looking at pictures that don't portray women and men in the right way due to some form of violence or pain, it needs to be dealt with immediately. If, on the other hand, the pictures are harmless and helps to give a balanced education on sex or a general understanding of human biology and what happens during human reproduction, fine.

The last point (i.e 7) is too generic to get any meaning because it doesn't tell us how many young people choose to look at this material. And to what extent of the material when they are viewed (if at all) is violent or extreme, or is it just mainstream non-violent sexual material between consenting adults, or simply just naked or partially naked human beings posing in a form of art? Even the word "children" is starting to extend the group of people in the survey to possibly include 10 year olds or younger who are most likely not to be interested in sex.

Perhaps the term "young adults" should be used the moment when children have an interest in understanding the human body sexually speaking?

Now that we have these results (whether limited, biased or otherwise), how do these compare to young people in the 1960s or earlier? We don't know. The latest statistics seem to suggest pronographic material is more accessible to teenagers thanks to the internet. But does this mean teenagers of the same age in the 1960s didn't have the same number of sexually-explicit thoughts occuring in their minds and didn't have access to pornographic materials by way of underground magazines? And what alternative avenue did young males have in the past to learn more about sex?

Another thing mentioned in the publication is the statement:

"Pornography is generally created for men and by men." (p.10)

What is not mentioned, especially in Europe (e.g. Russia), is how a significant number of females are the ones who create pornography. The publication needs to explain why women get involved and what do they get out of the experience. Is it really all about the money? Or is it a message telling men there is a different form of sex women look for? The classic example is female domination (or femdom).

And do women actually enjoy having sex with men in this way? A closer look at femdom suggest they do. In which case, what do the men think about it? Do they feel sexually abused or treated in a violent manner when they get involved in femdom situations?

We are none the wiser from the publication.

As further reinforcement of the negative aspect of pornography, an example was given in the publication of an extreme case through serial rapist and murderer named Ted Bundy. Before he was executed in the United States, he revealed his strong interest in pornography and made the comment in an interview that:

"...I have lived in prison for many years and have met a lot of men just like me motivated to commit violent crimes and without exception each one was heavily into pornography." (p.25)

Does this mean pornography is the cause of violent crimes? No. The interpretation one should make of this statement is that pornography was an escape from the harsh reality of Bundy's life. He was looking for something to make him happy. With no other opportunities to develop and grow, to get a job (and paying well enough to allow him to purchase his own home and still be able to afford food and contribute ideas and his actions to helping society), and feel a part of a worthy member of society deserving of the love that all human beings need, he thought he could release his tensions and receive temporary happiness from viewing pornography.

But the pornography he saw was not teaching him to balance his thinking. Being a strongly L-brain male accepting of all the images he had seen and thinking these were normal, he obtained greater gratification from seeing more violent forms of sexual behaviour by men allegdly committed on women (not realising these images were done by actors, while the sex itself is probably real). If he had seen graphic images of women being violent to men, he probably would have behaved in the opposite manner by losing his violent streak and behaving like a slave to anything women wanted.

But this, unfortunately, was not his interest. His inability to apply his R-brain to think and visualise what he was seeing and realise the imbalanced nature of the images he was relying on had resulted in his brain accepting the images as normal and eventually he made the dreadful and unfortunate decision to make those images he saw and in his mind a reality by trying out his absurd fantasies on women.

Pornography is not the cause of Bundy's crimes. It is the way society has treated him and his family, the limited education to help him balance his thinking, the lack of love displayed by society, and his choice to view the wrong types of images leading to a change in his behaviour which is the real concern here.

So what's the solution?

The Christian solution is either to ban all forms of pornography on the internet and anywhere else it can be accessed where possible, or teach young males that commitment to a wife and children is the only way to get fulfillment. And these are the same christians who don't believe men should use condoms which is no wonder why environmentalists are greatly concerned about the state of the planet in terms of being able to support the large and apparently unsustainable human population.

According to the publication, it can be summed up in the following statement:

"Maturity and personal fulfillment for men has traditionally come through a permanent commitment to a wife and children and by coming to understand and respect the inherent value and dignity of women. Pronography, in contrast, allows men to remain in a juvenile fantasy land for many years and sometimes permanently. It socialises young men to view women as existing for their personal pleasure and satisfaction rather than as equal human persons who are worthy of great respect and value." (p.10)

How do R-brain people view this issue of sex and pornography?

As shocking as it may sound for some Christians, the broader R-brain view is being more open-minded to the issue and yet still understanding of the social, environmental and biological consequences and the need to be sensitive to those consequences. It means pornography is perfectly acceptable so long as it involves balanced information showing men and women in consenting relationships and not revealing any form of violence or abuse to one gender or the other. R-brain people even talk about sex as if it is just another topic for discussion. Even the sight of a mother breatfeeding in public, or a female artist who needs to be naked to get a point across shows no offence to R-brain people.

Sex is as normal as sleeping, eating and everything else we do in life. There is nothing embarresing or unusual about it.

In a R-brain society, it doesn't matter if you choose to get married and become a wife or husband in order to be "fulfilled" or "commited" to the relationship. Marriage is a wonderful experience for those who choose it. And it helps L-brain people to understand the importance of commitment when there is likely for couples to have children and the sight of other potential sexual partners can influence a L-brain person. For R-brain people, it doesn't matter if sex is before or after marriage. It doesn't matter if you have children before getting married or after. Nor does it matter if sex is strictly between two adults or the experience is shared with one or more other adults in a group situation.

NOTE: It is recommended in group sex situations not to have one L-brain female of any age alone to have sex with multiple L-brain males. Without adequate supervision by one or more females or R-brain male observers and methods of helping the female participant to get out of the situation, L-brain males are more likely to act quickly on having sex with the female if they can see the body appears "ready" for sex, accessable for touching, and is attractive. However, a group of R-brain males are more able to control their behaviours and can relax as a L-brain or R-brain female engages in the type of sex she likes for long periods of time. Likewise multiple L-brain females are likely to reach their climax quickly allowing a R-brain male to "last the distance".

Also, sex in a R-brain world is understood to be a powerful tool for changing human behaviour through accelerating one's learning and enhancing the emotions for more effective recall of information and becoming a better and well-adjusted human being. Or it can be enjoyed purely for the pleasure of sex. This is perfectly fine too. You can decide when to experience sex and with it the consent for others to share in the experience. And you can choose how you wish to experience it with caring people who also want to understand your needs as well.

Sex in a R-brain world is never about forcing your fantasies on someone who doesn't want to experience it. Sex is meant to be a shared experience with "no strings attached". And it is an experience that involves learning and understanding better your partner over time.

As far as consequences are concerned, you make sure only the right consequences are experienced. In other words, you don't want to make a baby when having sex? No problems. Wear some form of contraception or utilise the natural forms of contraception given to you by nature (if you are experienced). You are worried about sexually transmitted diseases? No problems. Be healthy, keep yourself clean. And be honest with others about any condition you may have which could affect them so that a solution can be found (e.g. using a condom). Better still, see a doctor before engaging in sex and get some tests done. And if you do have any problems, let people know before you have sex so that some form of protection or method of sex can be explored.

Or simply learn to satisfy your needs in a different way which is safe for everyone concerned.

As for pornography, when presented in a balanced and non-violent way, it is seen by R-brain people as an educational tool for men but can also serve as a source of useful information for women in understanding men as well as themselves. Of course, the alternative is to go out with a girlfriend or boyfriend to learn the facts of life in a rough way. Or wait until you are married and hope you have learned enough about sex to do the "right thing" and know how to control certain consequences.

It is no wonder Christians have big families.

Because sex is a powerful tool for changing a person's life, commitment may be necessary and as such will always remain important in this broader R-brain view of sex. This is because society is predominently L-brain and therefore the behavioural consequences of L-brain individuals are such that jealousy leading to anger and sadness or feelings of inadequacy that may affect the self-esteem can develop. This is why marriage will remain an important tool to emphasize this commitment to a partner. Similarly where children are present, it is important to maintain stability in the family unit with both parents working together until the children are raised into happy and well-adjusted adults in society.

And what happens afterwards is totally up to the parents. If both parents have learned from other each over many years and remain happy, they are likely to stay together for the rest of their lives. Otherwise, there is absolutely no reason why two adults should be forced to live unhappy lives together. Each person has already fulfilled the commitments needed for satisfying each other's needs and for the children they have produced. Each adult should therefore have the right to be able to lead their own independent lives without restrictions of any kind.

And in the R-brain view, getting a divorce is not seen as the path to going to hell or some horrible place as Christians may think.

Humans are not to be seen as inherently bad people because of it. We have enough problems in society to worry about instead of adding another whole group of people to the list. In fact, we have far more problems in the world than we can ever poke a stick (or penis if you are inclined to think that way) at and far more significant problems at that. So stop treating other people differently or badly.

Can we be more R-brain in our sex in a L-brain society?

Yes, and people do try to make it happen as we speak, especially among the females.

The R-brain world of sex for women doesn't involve engaging in hard core and/or rigorous sex. If is quite the opposite. It can involve participating in striptease classes designed to allow mature-minded women to not only get fit, but also to sexually liberate themselves in any way they so wish (e.g. trying different positions and feeling comfortable).

For example, some classes will allow women to feel comfortable about wearing more sexy and revealing clothing, in performing basic exercises or moves which for L-brain people might make them nervous (e.g. the dress might ride up to reveal a lacy underwear, or women may go bare-breasted during the class etc), but is considered natural in order to begin the process for women to "break the barriers" set up by the L-brain world. The use of a pole in the middle of the class or a mat or different items of clothing may be common to help bring the "sexiness" of women out into the open.

In more advanced classes, women may be encouraged to participate in normal everyday activities without wearing a single item of clothing (hence the origins of nudist camps etc).

Of course, when promoting the positive benefits of pole dancing in public as a means of healthy exercising and keeping fit, you will only see photographs of women wearing tight lycra shorts and a tank top with a bra to ensure some L-brain people are never offended by a genuine show of sexuality by the women (i.e. the fear that some L-brain people might feel embarressed in a social setting if their bodies behave in unexpected and spontaneous ways when R-brain skills are underdeveloped).

Clearly the aim of all of this is to help a woman have confidence in walking right up to a man (naked or not) which is really just another pole if you think about it, to strip herself of her clothes, to practice certain positions which might be very revealing to the man, to be so close but not actually touching, and even to the point of almost sitting on a man's face if she so chooses without worrying about what he sees; or she may simply sit on his chest, open her legs wide and show him everything he needs to see, perhaps do simple exercises for herself on top of him, but never to engage in sex, and all the while not be perturbed by the possibility of the man having an erection or not, and then eventually to be able to put her clothes back on and walk away, without a worry in the world.

You may consider this unlikely for women to do given the state of our L-brain society. But this is exactly what happens in the world of femdom (i.e. female domination). In fact, when women do want to go to the next level with men and achieve some form of sexual satisfaction or learn something about the male and female bodies from a purely feminine point-of-view and achieve the kind of sex they want to see and perform, we start to enter the world of female domination (or femdom).

The world of femdom - the beginning of a R-brain world of sex for both men and women

In femdom, women either use their numbers to force one or two L-brain men to become submissive and do virtually anything the women want (within reason of course), or for a single woman to tie up a man at the hands and feet to later do as she pleases with him. Whether in numbers or the use of ropes, this is considered effective enough when dealing with L-brain men who are likely to act on what they see. However, this would be unnecessary with R-brain men who are naturally able to relax.

In fact, if a man is properly trained in the art of R-brain skills as needed to avoid spontaneous sexual intercourse and needing to reach his climax as quickly and as furiously as possible, it should not be necessary to tie him up just to allow a woman to go to the extremes of physically touching the man in any way she likes or letting the man touch her without penetration of any kind. She can ask the man to lie down and she could decide to sit on his face knowing that all the man has to do is let his tongue out and he could potentially taste and touch her in her most intimate regions (sometimes the man's nose may act as a partial dildo or penis substitute). Again if this happens, it should not bother the woman.

Once the man is in the submissive phase, a woman should be able to practice anything she likes of a sexual or non-sexual (eg watching TV or talking on the telephone) nature.

Non-sexual activity from a female perspective might be nothing more than wearing a thin piece of underwear, sitting on the man's face and playing cards with another woman doing the same thing except she could be sitting on the man's chest or groin area. Or a woman could choose to put on some make-up while sitting on top of him. A L-brain man looking at this situation for the first time might think it is a form of sexual activity and may get naturally excited by the process (e.g. a long and hardened penis), but not to the women involved. And, in fact, should not be described as sex. With adequate discipline and practice, any L-brain man can learn to see the situation as non-sexual using his R-brain to the point where it doesn't matter how close his nose, mouth, tongue and even his penis might be to a women's body including her intimate regions (e.g. her breasts). He can still control his sexual desires. Only a woman can decide when it becomes sex for her and only if the actions performed by the woman on the man or may allow a man to perform on her will lead to sexual pleasure and ultimately an orgasm for her.

Sex only becomes sex if the aim of the movement over the genitals and/or inside the vagina is to achieve an orgasm.

Even the process of allowing a man to use his tongue to gently lick over the folds of her lower lips or perhaps over her other entrance further down is not sex. Occasionally there might be some teasing of her clitoris (depending on the way she sits on him). To most people including L-brain men, it might be effectively called sex. But it is still not sex. The mere licking of a woman's genitals is seen by R-brain people as no different to, say, licking an ice cream cone. The ice cream cone does not grow and get excited and eventually have an orgasm. Nor does the R-brain person get aroused by licking an ice cream cone. In fact, no one says licking an ice cream cone is essentially the same as having sex. It is only when the woman decides to reach an orgasm from this activity does it become sex for her.

And even if she sees the licking of the man in her intimate regions as sex for her because she has given herself consent to actively seek out her orgasm, it is still not described as sex for the man from a R-brain perspective until she gives him consent to reach his own orgasm using her body. Then it becomes sex for the man.

For a woman to reach an orgasm from this simple licking pleasure from a man, she has to give herself consent and then it becomes sex but not the reverse until she agrees to allow the man to have sex with her for his own aim to reach an orgasm.

In other words, any kind of sexual or non-sexual situation a woman sets up with a man should not initiate a sexual reaction from the male (especially a genuine R-brain type) until she gives full consent to allow the man to have sex with her. Otherwise it should be seen as nothing more than the woman learning to feel comfortable with a man touching her in any area no matter how close or intimate. And she can decide what pleasures or interests she wishes to experience.

Hence as she learns to get increasingly more comfortable and secure facesitting a man, for example, she may go the next step of sitting on the penis, erect or not while rubbing her clitoris on the man's pubic hair. And only she can decide whether she is having sex with the man if she discovers she can achieve and wants to achieve an orgasm in this way.

Even the insertion of the erect penis inside the vagina might be technically described as sex in the L-brain world. But, in the R-brain world, it is still not sex. For it can be described as just like having a peeled banana inserted inside of her and leaving it there. But no banana will grow and reach climax. She could quite easily describe the situation as just an opportunity to hold something with her body because she has only two hands. Or it could be an unusual place to store something as she relaxes until she decides to use the thing she has inserted. Unless there is actual movement of the penis (or banana) and/or vagina resulting in some form of sexual stimulation leading ultimately to a climax, any insertion of an object into a penis is not sex unless the aim of the experience of moving the insertion is to reach an orgasm. Then, and only then, is it described as sex.

And when a female does want to have sex and allows the man to have sex with her, she can still apply techniques to ensure sex is of a form that she is happy with and satisfies her sexual needs.

For example, in the femdom world, some pain may be inflicted on a man (e.g. slapping, pinching, twisting the nipples). It is a technique understood by females as a way of making males feel just sufficiently uncomfortable enough to prevent them from reaching climax and therefore avoid ejaculation but not too much pain as to prevent an erection from being maintained. This helps to prolong the sexual experience for when satisfying a woman's own sexual fantasies with a man.

The alternative to prolonging the sexual experience in non-femdom situations is essentially for the male to talk while engaging in sex. Communication during sex is often seen as a powerful tool to prolonging sex for both males and females.

In femdom, it should be realised that sexual intercourse may or may not take place (and if so, often with a condom). More often than not, femdom is about allowing women to be curious in understanding the male body and for women to experience in their own way how to handle a man to make themselves more feminine and possibly to achieve their own sexual desires. And it is also used to educate men. A classic example of this can be found in situations called Clothed Females Nude Males (CFNM).

This is the aim of getting women (and men) to experience the R-brain world of sex. And it need not have to involve the penis penetrating a vagina and moving about until a woman is "pregnant" so to speak or a man scores with a woman. R-brain sex is more a form of learning, control, discipline, strong emotional development (and develops greater sexual security between the genders), and accelerated learning in new ideas and in reinforcing positive behaviours in people.

And it is also there simply for satisfying one's curiosity about the opposite sex, developing more balanced sex education, and/or in bringing pleasure to people engaged in R-brain sex.

Most women never go to the extreme in femdom of causing harm to men (well, not intentionally). At the very most woman may attempt to experience what it is like to tie up a man's arms and/or legs before performing facesitting, or will just go straight for facesitting.

The purpose of facesitting is about allowing women to feel relaxed in the presence of a man while exploring his body as well as their own and at the same time provide a valuable lesson to the man of how to also relax and not be controlled by what the penis may do and any desire for the man to try to immediately insert his penis into a vagina and have sex. Indeed, with practice in a controlled environment, it should be possible not to have any form of traditional penetration with the penis. Women should be free to experience any form of sexual pleasure on any part of a man's body when trying different things, reach a climax, and yet still be able to leave the situation at any time.

Facesitting may be attempted in any boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife relationship. Although it is most commonly practiced in situations where a young teenage girl is entering a stage of sexual development where she is curious enough to want to explore a man's body, to experience possibly some sexual stimulation in different ways if she so desires, and possibly to achieve an orgasm should the girl decide she wants to find out without needing any penetration of the man's penis into her vagina to take place. When this happens, it is not unusual for the girl to be in the company of an older woman or have several of her young girl friends to join in or watch the proceedings. Or more often than not the extra females are usually there to provide extra physical means of restricting the man and forcing him to submit to the will of the one or more females wanting to explore their own bodies and the body of a man to find out what happens.

Sometimes an older woman may go straight on top and allow the man's penis to slip inside of her vagina and keep relatively still, while the young girl goes about observing the scene or eventually try facesitting for herself. For young females joining in, it may simply be to sit on the man's torso and perhaps others holding down the man's arms and legs, although just facesitting a guy is sufficient to prevent a man from moving if he wishes to avoid an injury to his neck. But where a girl with little experience needs the extra safety from others, a second female is likely to sit on top of the guy, either with her clothes or, partially clothed (usually removing the dress or trousers but keeping her underwear on, or down to her bra and underwear), or completely naked (perhaps as further re-assurance to the young girl that it is okay to eventually take her clothes off as well).

Once the man is forced into the submissive phase, there is virtually nothing the man can do but allow the girl to explore in any way she sees fit and want to learn about and experience.

The various stages of facesitting likely to be experienced are as follows:

1. The young girl may initially try facesitting with her clothes. Different types of clothes provide different levels of protection to the girl and may also be difficult or comfortable for the man to cope with. If, for instance, she wears jeans, the material itself may not stretch properly to allow for a comfortable sit and may place considerable pressure on the man's nose due to her weight. So this is likely to be a short-lived experience for the girl (unless she is more brutal and into serious femdom activity). However where the material clings to her skin and stretches properly, the girl is likely to be able to sit for long periods with very little distress to the man. And given the proximity of the man's nose and mouth to the girl's intimate regions, this is usually the most effective first stage in the world of facesitting that allows the girl to get a good idea of how it feels.

There is another alternative: the man's face can be covered by a towel to provide a different form of protection to any form of stimulus to her clitoris by the man. In serious femdom, sometimes a leather mask is used to cover the man's face (sometimes with one or more holes to allow him to breathe and/or observe what is happening; usually the mouth is covered to prevent the man tongue from emerging).

This may also be a moment for the man to experience an erection after a period of time where the girl can observe how the male responds to the situation. It will also be a moment when other females explain the importance of ensuring the man can breathe underneath her and what the girl will need to do from time-to-time.

2. If the girl is comfortable with this first stage and feels secure enough, she may go the next stage where she will lift herself up and pull her trousers halfway down her legs. If she is wearing a dress, the girl will find it easier to lift the dress up and wrap it around her waist. Then she can sit herself back down.

A couple of things can happen at this moment. Firstly, if the man has not yet achieved an erection, it is more likely this stage of facesitting will achieve some sexual stimulation for the man. And secondly, there may be a temptation by the man to try to stick his tongue out and press against the girl's underwear. Depending on the material used for the underwear, the tongue action can either be controlled or allowed to produce a certain level of sexual stimulation for the girl. Generally if the girl is not ready or don't wish to be sexually stimulated, she should wear a thicker material for her underwear. If she wants almost an immediate form of gentle stimulation on sitting on the face, wearing underwear with a thin material should do the trick. Indeed, should the the material be thick and heavy such as leather, almost no sexual stimulation can take place for the girl as it provides significant protection to her clitoris from the action of the man's tongue. Where the material is thin and highly flexible or almost see-through, there is a much greater chance the man can stimulate the girl's clitoris. But even in the latter case, there are further techniques available to the girl to control the stimulation. For example, the girl can push her body back in order to raise the position of the clitoris. Then the most the man can achieve with his tongue is press against her lower end of the vagina or touch her anus. The other method is simply to turn herself around and facesit the other way. Then the only issue for the girl is deciding where the man's nose should be pressing against when she sits down again. NOTE: The mose can provide a different option for the girl in terms of her she might wish to be sexually stimulated. Instead of the man's tongue or her fingers, she may choose to use the man's nose. If not, she can press the nose against her anus or vagina.

3. Should this second stage be successful and the girl can achieve relative control of the situation, including her own clitoris and any action by the man's tongue or other parts of the face to stimulate her, there are two ways the girl could take facesitting to the next level.

The first way is for the girl to grab her underwear, partially lift herself up and pull the underwear slightly to one side before sitting herself back down. This will allow the first direct experience for the girl of allowing her intimate region between her legs to be partially or almost fully naked and in close contact with the man's face. The second way is for the girl to stand up and completely remove her underwear. Then as she prepares to sit down on his face again, the girl uses her underwear to place it over the man's face and sit on that instead. So as the girl experiences what it is like to be naked with only her underwear providing some protection, she can gain confidence and feel more relaxed. Or she may use a towel to cover the man's face while sitting down on him in a naked fashion. She can then begin to potentially explore her own sexuality from this moment on. For example, the girl may decide to touch her clitoris with her fingers, taking her time to build up her sexual urges and can decide at some point on whether to allow herself to climax over him. She may also undergo involuntary or voluntary movements of her waist and buttocks as she rubs her clitoris and vagina over the man's face, which provides additional forms of pleasure from the experience. Or she may decide simply to bend forward and explore the man's penis or watch others do things with the man as she visualises the kind of sex she wants in her mind. Or she may simply take full advantage of the mouth presented to her and allow the man to use his tongue to stimulate her.

4. The next level is, of course, going the full monty with no clothes on and nothing separating the man's face from the girl's own vagina or clitoris. This is clearly the most vulnerable moment for a girl where it doesn't take much for the guy to sexually stimulate her. But again the above techniques for controlling the situation can be applied even at this stage. And if for any reason, the man hasn't yet achieved an erection (must be already well-trained and have good R-brain skills - a rare and lucky moment), naked full-weight facesitting and ample time for the man to taste and smell the girl's vagina would usually do the trick.

For a L-brain man, it is critical for the girl to ensure she has total control of the man at every stage during naked facesitting. Either tying him up or using her friends to keep him pinned down will give her the confidence to go the next stage.

Where the girl decides to go completely naked (i.e. at least from the waist down) and experiences full-weight facesitting, this is the moment where she can decide and control just how far she wants to experience any form of sexual stimulation.

5. The final stage of facesitting is, of course, to achieve a climax without ever having to worry about going through traditional sex with the man's penis and not be bothered by how the climax is affecting the man. Just using his face, mouth or nose to achieve climax in the same rigorous and uncaring fashion as she would with a dildo would be the ultimate level of facesitting a girl can experience.

6. On the odd occasion, more advanced facesitting for the girl may include short moments of having the man's penis inserted into her vagina to let her know what it feels like (but with someone else facesitting or by tying the guy down to ensure total control). Then she might withdraw and continue with her facesitting. But in most situations, the girl will be satisfied simply be watching, learning and experiencing her own climax while remaining in the facesitting position.

Where the girl decides she wants to experience a climax, there are different ways to stimulate the clitoris to help achieve this goal. The first obvious approach is for the girl to use her fingers to do the stimulation. In this situation, all she has to do is sit completely still, leaning back slightly to expose her clitoris and then using her fingers she can begin the stimulation process. When performing this method, it is extremely important that the girl does not directly sit and cover the man's entire nose and mouth as he will experience great difficulties in breathing. It is recommended that the girl learns to sit further back (perhaps sitting more on the guy's forehead and letting his nose sit against the girl's vagina) to let his mouth open and breath.

The second approach is for the girl to lean forward slightly to let the man use his tongue to stimulate her clitoris. When the girl chooses this approach, the man's mouth should be able to open wide enough so that we can still breathe, but at the same time his tongue can emerge from the lower end of his mouth and, like licking ice cream, the man should be able to lick and tickle in and around her clitoris.

The third approach is where the girl decides to take more control of her sexual stimulation while making full use of the man's face to achieve her sexual goals. It involves using the man's nose and nose bridge to provide stimulation to the clitoris and some limited penetration of the girl's vagina. The way to approach this is by sitting away from the man's body. The aim is to initially just sit straight on top of the guy's head. As a guide, let the man's nose sit beneath the vagina. The girl should not rush this moment. It is important that she relaxes. Let the entrance way to her vagina open up slightly and allow the nose penetrate further. As the nose sinks into the vagina region, the bridge of the nose can approach the clitoris. This is the moment when the girl may realise she can be stimulated virtually three ways from the guy while maintaining control at every moment. Leaning the body slightly forward and slowly pushing the hips back, the girl can use the nose and nose bridge to rub against her clitoris. If she reverses the hip movement, the nose can move over the girl's vagina. While doing so, the girl may also receive an unexpected benefit in terms of the tongue the man provides. She may experience the warm and wet tongue moving over her anus region. If she again pushes back her hips, not only can she receive another moment of stimulation of the clitoris with the nose, but the man can attempt to lick and penetrate her vagina with his tongue. Push the hips further back, and the tongue can stimulate her clitoris. With practice and flexible hips, it should be possible to stimulate the girl's three main orifice regions and so helping to heighten her sexual drive and willingness to reach for her climax.

When the girl senses the moment of climax, her hip movements will become more eratic and deliberate in her intentions. Occasionally she will try to stop the stimulation by sitting at a certain position on the face that minimises the stimulation to her clitoris and will keep her still, or she may choose to sit on his chest as she tries to relax and control her breathing. But when she chooses not to rest and simply go for the ultimate sexual goal, it is often extremely intense. The hips will be more rapid and with some urgency. Sometimes the girl may be more forceful in the pressure points she needs to experience by rubbing more firmly her intimate regions over his face. Vaginal fluids will begin to leak out and over his face. When an orgasm is reached, the girl may decide to firmly place her vagina over his nose, putting as much weight as possible and sit still as she rides through her climax. Or she may allow the tongue to act as a penis substitute for her vagina if the man can keep it still, firm and long enough to satisfy her needs.

The climax can be particularly intense if the girl has never experienced this before and especially with a man so close and intimately playing a crucial role in helping her achieve her sexual goal. But this is the moment where she must feel relaxed enough to let herself go completely and not worry about what is happening between her legs. Let the vaginal fluids flow freely. Let the fluids soak his face. Let him smell what it is like to be a female. Nothing will phase him at this point. Never hold back. Because once the experience is made, the girl will have an intense memory of the event. And then she will almost certainly try it again and again with whoever she pleases. Indeed it can be seen as the best way for a female to explore her sexual needs to the fullest without worrying about "getting pregnant" or needing to deal with a man's natural wishes to insert his penis inside a vagina in the quickest and sometimes roughest sense.

Later, when the girl tries it several times, the facesitting experience can develop into more sophisticated forms such as using a plastic or rubber dildo strapped to the man's head or face. This then provides considerably greater sexual satisfaction for the girl the next time she chooses to have a climax in this way.

In other facesitting situations where young multiple females are present to watching the event or participate in some way, the climax achieved by one girl facesitting a man is likely to see one, several or all the females experience facesitting for themselves and achieve their own climax. Where a lot of females are present and all want to do the same thing, a situation known as reverse bukkake can take place where the time needed during facesitting to achieve a climax is usually too great. So instead the females will aim their vaginas at the man's face at close range, use their fingers to rub their clitoris, and at the moment climax is reached, the vaginal fluids are expelled over the man's face.

Again this situation is not unusual and is natural.

They all emphasise the importance of females experiencing climax without worrying about the consequences (e.g. making babies). It is what we call the more R-brain approach to sex.

The problem with femdom

Of course, there is a more extreme element of femdom where you will find some women described as either genuine men-haters (i.e. usually found among lesbians) or women who find great pleasure expressing control and power over men to the point where brutal techniques may be applied to men (such as tying ropes around a penis and stretching it, placing a man's head inside a purposefully-designed toilet box for women to sit on — hopefully to do nothing more than to permit some form of oral manipulation by the man's tongue but you'll never know as humans now look towards more water-saving toilet solutions — and so on). In a small number of cases, femdom can involve an element of inflicting pain on men by women such as whipping the buttocks of a naked or semi-naked man to the point where the skin may break and blood letting may be seen. In other cases, men may find themselves almost suffocating underneath a woman's buttocks because the woman is oblivious to the potential danger.

However, the majority of femdom is really about women wanting to look, touch and perhaps lick the male genitals, watch how the man responds, smother a breast or two on a man's face or his penis, perform face-sitting, sometimes engage in actual sexual intercourse or reach climax by other means in a way females prefer (usually on top of the man), and when there is increasing confidence share the experiences with other women who may or may not get involved. And all the while women are always understanding and caring of the men who they practice on or teach the finer points of sex.

Femdom is really about satisfying the curiosity of females wanting to know more about sex and the male body, to sexually liberate themselves and, if necessary, to experience sex from a R-brain perspective in the way they are most comfortable with. And it also is an opportunity for men to learn the art of R-brain sex for themselves.

The ultimate aim of sex

However all this R-brain sex for females can still be considered somewhat imbalanced if taken to the extreme, especially when it involves pain leading to potential injuries to men as seen in extreme femdom. Some females understandably do it as their way of balancing the situation in a highly L-brain and "male-dominated" society. Perhaps it is a means of "getting back" at some unthoughtful men?

However the aim of true sex is to share love with each partner through a balanced approach.

Sex is not always about procreation, nor is it purely to satisfy one person's or another's own extreme form of sex or sexual fantasy and nothing else. It is a moment of constantly learning from each other and sharing the experience. It is about understanding sex from the perspective of your partner, and to reverse the role to help balance the learning of sex for all. Then trying different positions and ideas until both partners find something that works for them well and consistently and they are happy.

Learning during sex is the key to becoming a more balanced individual and so become more sensitive to the needs of your partner. Eventually a point is reached in the experience when you and your partner realise sex is a powerful tool for accelerated learning and to ensure your partner's needs are always met at anytime and place, in any position so desired and controlling any undesired consequences. Balanced couples will have the power to switch between different situations with ease and so have the ability to satisfy each others' needs and aims from sex.

It is about trying different things. And yet you will approach a form of greater stability (the moment of balance) over time as you find the ultimate form of sex.

To help reach for this balanced state in sex, perhaps one night you and your partner might try slow and prolonged sex to the point where you might not achieve a climax (because you have exhausted all your energy), and another night you might try for quick and rigorous sex. Another time you might let your partner have sex on top and another time you might try a missionary position or something different. Perhaps you might engage in regular facesitting so the woman can achieve a different type of sex and climax from this position. Or you might try sex in the shower or on a beach.

Or you might try sex in different rooms, wearing different clothing, and different times of the day. At other times you might try sex at specific times, maybe with the lights off, and no clothes.

And all the while you are doing this, you are always attentive and understanding to the feelings of the other person, the person you are having sex with. Once you find a way that brings you and your partner the most pleasure, you can decide then and there whether or not you want to seek a more balanced form of sex through continuous learning, or to stick to the sex that you both think is best for each other.

It is up to you.

Then you can use sex as a powerful tool to accelerate your learning and achieve more things in life.

And, of course, at some point you may decide to use sex as a means of procreation. But only when you and your partner decide it is the right time to do so.

The only thing you have to remember, is that there is a thing called R-brain and L-brain sex. There is a difference. Once you know they exist and their differences, you will have the power to get very close and intimate with someone like you have never known before. Your true soul mate, your true sexual partner and life partner will then be apparent to you. Seeking another partner will not be necessary unless you or your partner choose to experience this type of sex with someone else.

And if you find the right sex, you and your partner will be happy for the rest of your life.

Consequences of more R-brain sex to society

We have seen some of the consequences of R- and L-brain sex on an individual level. So what happens on a societal level when more people practice a balanced form of sex?

Applying a more balanced approach to sex among enough people will result in a massive societal transformation where eventually it is possible for women to be the ones who seek out male partners for their own fantasies and interests rather than the other way around as we see for L-brain males seeking females. Or there will be more balance in how people seek partners.

In a balanced sexual world, women are free to walk around in society, wearing virtually anything they like (even go naked if they wish) and know they are safe and treated well just like any other member of society. Likewise men could walk around wearing nothing and women would not be afraid. It is normal. But, of course, it is not necessary to do so.

Remember, a balanced society will have the imagination and creative to see through the superficial and look inside or through anyone in any way they so wish in the mind.

Basically a society of people supporting a balanced approach to sex are more comfortable talking about sex, even openly without fear or restrictions. People are not offended by such talk and it is seen as natural. R-brain men can control their sexual desires. Women can sit comfortably with men and women can discuss the subject openly.

Women could even be facesitting men in public and people in a R-brain society would not even be perturbed by it.

Sex would be just another topic of discussion for the day. It is like going to the toilet and not have to be worried about what others will say. Everyone knows we all do it. And we do it regularly enough to realise it is perfectly normal and healthy. It is just that in a L-brain society, L-brain people are affected by what they see. And sex is one of those topics that causes enough changes to the mind and body to the point where they are not well-trained enough to control their behaviours. The creativity and visualisation skills are not highly developed. Consequently they tend to do everything to hide the subject and stop others from discovering for themselves what happens. But the problem is that over time they can become more sensitised to the sight of say a naked breast breastfeeding a baby. Then L-brain types start to feel intimidated or disgusted by the sight.

This would not happen in a R-brain society.

Even dicussing any sexual problems or diseases that could affect others will not frighten people off. People will find solutions to help each other out. Or those with the problem can seek solutions to help meet their needs on their own without affecting others.

And population levels in a balanced society would be sustainable as men and women apply the knowledge of sex to decide when they wish to bring children into the world or not. In fact, it is extremely rare for women to have abortions in a R-brain or balanced society unless it is under medical grounds (and much less than in a L-brain society). Women (and men) will have the knowledge of sex needed to ensure the biological consequences of making babies are not experienced.

Abortion is another one of those controversial topics requiring further exploration.

It is true abortion is a highly emotive topic. The choice of words we use and the estimated numbers of abortions that take place in our so-called rational L-brain society can have the potential to bring out our emotions more than our rational thinking skills. This is particular true among a group of people known as the Christians.

In order to be seen as scientifically rational and try to keep the emotions in check, Christians will find anything in the scientific literature to support their argument.

To begin with, Christians Nick Tankey and Hew Sandison were quick to highlight early in their article Abortion on the numbers of abortions made every year:

"Statistically and scientifically, abortion is the world's biggest killer. With an annual worldwide rate of appproximately 42 million, abortions has become not only part of society but, in many places, a taboo subject that is rarely questioned or challenged."

Then there are the choice of words people use to describe the situation. For example, depending on which side of the fence you support, you may define abortion as the killing of a human being (i.e. against abortion); or the removal of cells in the body (i.e. in favour of abortion). To a scientist, the boundary between a human being and cells is rather blurred in the early stages of pregnancy and soon after conception — the most common time for abortion to take place.

The one thing that everyone can agree on is the fact that abortion does involve a life and death situation for something that is seen as "alive" with the potential to become a human being and this tends to polarise people into two main camps: those in favour, and those who oppose. So let us question this aspect.

The first thing we need to ask is whether the destruction of something that is "alive" constitutes a morally bad thing to do to the point where we should stop it?

When we are talking about something the size of a living cell, it is extremely difficult not to kill the cell. The body may naturally shed millions of old cells as they have reached their potential and achieved their objective. But humans, in the quest to be attractive and to gain social status, money and a reasonable job, may do things that could damage and ultimately kill the cells. For example, a male could decide to get out an electric shaver to remove the hair growing on his face only to accelerate the death of many thousands of living cells well before their time is up through the action of the cutting implement moving across the skin. Yet Christians do not get upset by this even though scientists can now use the DNA in these living cells to create a living human clone of the parent.

Of course the male may unwittingly try new shaving technologies to minimise the destruction to his own cells. So technically speaking, the male is trying to keep all his cells alive for as long as they are able to stay alive. Yet if a living cell containing DNA happens to enter the uterus, the killing of this living cell can cause considerable anguish among Christians. Why? Is this because Christians are worried the cells (or human) will feel pain if it is killed? Tankey and Sandison seems to give this impression when they stated about the act of abortion under utilitarianism:

"PLEASURES FOR THE CHILD: Intensity and duration would be non-existent. Pain would be certain."

However doctors argue the nervous system to register pain isn't developed until at least 2 months into the pregnancy. And even then the growing embryo (or human being if you are against abortion) is under what we call a deep meditative or sleep state where no pain is felt (just as we experience in everyday life when we go to sleep). So if it is necessary to have an abortion, this would certainly have to be the safest time. Other people, notably those in the Christian movement, will argue not even immediately after conception is a good moment for abortion and will find anything to technically give scientific support for the argument.

Take, for instance, the article titled Abortion by Nick Tankey and Hew Sandison. Here the authors said:

"It is scientifically agreed that life begins at conception. After this process, which takes about 24 hours, a genetically unique, rapidly growing, scientifically alive human is in existence.

NOTE: the medical terms embryo and foetus both translate, in human terms, to unborn child."

Even with the advent of the synthetic steroid compound RU-486, when taken early enough in the pregnancy, not only is it more than 90 per cent effective in terminating pregnancies but the process of expelling the embryo (or a group of cells, or a human depending on how it is seen) is not much different from normal menstruation. Only in a few cases have women needed medical assistance where the bleeding has persisted after taking the drug (although some women who naturally menstruate can also bleed excessively as well). Yet people who are against abortion see this "menstruation-like" situation of expelling cells as taking the life of another human being which, in their mind, is immoral.

In edition number 119 (2009) of Inform — Faith & Life Matters (published by the Catholic Adult Education Centre in Sydney), Dr Brigid McKenna's christian upbringing supports the following statement in the article A Woman's Choice:

"...[F]rom the time that the ovum is fertilised, a life is begun which is neither that of the father nor the mother; it is rather the life of a new human being with his own growth. It would never be made human if it were not human already. This has always been clear, and...modern genetic science offers clear confirmation. It has demonstrated that from the first instant there is established the programme [ie. DNA] of what this living being will be: a person, this individual person with his characteristic aspects already well determined."

Well, to be more scientifically correct, an unfertilised ovum is alive too; it has its own established programme in the DNA and unique too with its mutations acquired over the lifetime of the parent. Does this mean there are no Christians supporting life before conception? Definitely not. We again find a more extreme element of the Christian community where their fundamentalist Christian view on the unfertilised human ovum is that any destruction of it should be stopped as the cell has the potential to grow into a human being.

For Christ sake! If this is meant to be true, God knows how many women must be feeling really bad about knowing their unfertilised ovums are dying and coming out every month on a natural basis. Even the unnatural ones when men are ejaculating inside a condom or outside a vagina must be considered mass-murderers given the number of sperms that have failed to reached their potential.

Thank God the prisons are not filled with all these men.

And if we take this fundamentalist logic to its ultimate scientific conclusion, then we would expect fundamentalist Christians to be in favour of regular monthly sex to ensure every ovum of every woman is thoroughly fertilised, and somehow be in wedlock when this happens (to show our commitment). So effectively Western society will have to accept some form of prearranged marriages starting from the moment a child becomes a young adult when he or she experiences sexual urges and there is likely to be an "emission" of sperms or ovum during menstruation. Hence we should get married when we are 8 years old if the Brazilian case discussed earlier is anything to go by. And why not have multiple wives for a single husband type of marriages? It happens in Muslim countries, so why not in Western countries? Well, surely we can't allow all those extra sperms and ovum from not reaching their full potential. It's an absolute crime!

Come to think of it, the imperativeness of every ovum and sperm to reach their full potential from a Christian point-of-view should mean that the same Christians should be promoting virtually free-to-air sex channels or more sex shops. Seriously, how else can there be love between a man and a woman to ensure there is a continuous stream of babies entering the world? Just so long as they don't tell the environmentalists what's happening then everything should be okay.

One would suppose a typical Christian-based porn channel would involve a lot of initial caressing and discussing the love in the Bible and how important it is to procreate, followed by praying for a good conception, and more praying while holding the rosemary beads in one hand by the woman as the man ploughs away into the woman for a very long time until both eventually scream out "Oh God!" at the moment of climax. Occasionally you might have a priest sitting by in the room to watch the proceedings and give the official blessing as there isn't much opportunity for him to learn what sex is about anyway.

Somehow there seems to be a flaw in this argument somewhere. However, it has not stopped the more Christian religious R-wing cults such as Quiverfull to promote the kind of illogical thinking we are seeing based on the grounds that every baby is supposed to be a gift from God and every living cell needed to be preserved, but also to alleviate some irrational fear that the Muslims might overpopulate and take over Western nations. The result is that these Christians feel they must take extreme measures to procreate (often with mothers having 15 or more babies from their married partners). Yet the funny thing is that the same fundamentalist Muslims are probably thinking exactly the same thing too about the Christians from Western nations. Except they do not have to marry one wife. Muslim men can marry multiple women. So imagine how many children a Muslim man can produce with the help of his multiple wives?

Come to think of it, this idea of having a large number of kids in a typical Christian family is certainly ingrained into the minds of many Christian parents. The idea gets pushed so far that other Christians with fewer children start to feel they are in trouble with their fellow Christians if they don't make enough babies. As noted by the CatholicLIFE editor for the newsletter titled Your family, Your faith in Issue 2 published in March 2012, page 1:

"It sounds ridiculous doesn't it, but sometimes it can seem that way — there is a tendency to define 'good' Catholic families by the size of their broad.

I was discussing this with a Catholic Mum who often feels she has to 'justify' why she 'only' has two children. She then added: 'But someone once told me that Mary only had one child so that made me feel better!'"

Fortunately there are a handful of Christians who have woken up to the silliness and realised such pressure from other Christians is really an example of judging others when they shouldn't and not supporting people for the choices they make in the true principle of love we should all be taught to follow. As the editor stated:

"Karen Edmisten points out...that defining a 'good' Catholic family so narrowly is a judgement call that is completely at odds with what the Church is about — not judging others."

The editor couldn't explain why it happens other than saying we are all "flawed human beings" and that such judgemental behaviour is more a reflection of the way some Christians are more "committed to their faith". Perhaps. But not a good enough reason to not improve and learn from this and show true love (and balance).

And if that is not enough pressure on women to create more babies, a recent comment by Reverend Father Tony Kerin should raise the alarm bells of everyone concerned about the future of life on Earth given the billions of humans now carving out an existence (with plots of land set aside for each person in terms of food and shelter, not to mention the ambitious dreams of some entrepreneurial individuals keen at trying their hand at mining, building skyscrapers, and other investment developments for the sake of being rich).

An episcopal vicar for justice and social services in the Archdiocese of Melbourne, Father Kerin had reportedly responded to statistics and a poll published in the Herald Sun (published on 7 May 2012) claiming women are getting too picky in their choice of a partner and are missing out a lot if they don't get married, especially at a young age. Sounds like he has had many long years of experience changing nappies, dealing with toddler tantrums, buying food and stimulating the kids with education, except he should be celibate. Right? Or has there been a relaxing of the rules for men in the Church as if the Pope in Rome is getting desperate for more babies with the hope a few will join the priesthood ranks?

Apparently Father Kerin's comments was in response to statistics provided by the Herald Sun where it is claimed there are 1.3 million women in Australia aged 25-34 compared to 1.34 million men in the same age bracket, of which 86,000 of those men appear to be single (i.e. not married or in a de facto relationship, heterosexual, without children and earning more than $60,000 a year). For some reason, the statistics don't extend to women. So we don't know how many single women are available. Even so, the suggestion is that these men are not been chosen by women for some reason. Or, perhaps many single men and women are doing things together that are not resulting in marriage and lots of children in the end.

The latter seems to be the case when we learn that Father Kerin has noticed the number of single men and women choosing de facto relationships over marriage and increasing over time And since there is no obvious signs of a rise in marriage at least for the age group in question (does this mean a decline, or a levelling off?), Father Kerin is promoting all the negatives of de facto relationships including a statistic he has gathered claiming de facto relationships are twice as likely to break down. Does this mean marriages are better than de facto relationships? One cannot surmise this from the statistics.

If anything, what the statistics is probably revealing is that people between 25 and 34 years of age either want to go at it alone for a while, or get into a de facto relationships without the added pressure of more traditional-thinking Christian parents who says they must follow social norms and be "stuck in a relationship", only to then find the added stress of looking after babies. Given the stresses of life already inherent in modern society with demands from employers to work many hours to earn a reasonable income, there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in a day to put the same level of effort to maintaining a long-term relationship. Unless women are prepared to give up their careers and stay at home looking after the children, cook and clean and all the rest, it seems not enough women are seeing the need to pick men for marriage. It will probably be more a question of being happy having a single life for a while and/or perhaps pick a similarly-thinking guy who can cook, clean and run his own business (i.e. self-sufficient and rich enough), and later the sex and nothing else. Life is too hectic to muck around making babies and all the rest.

The Herald Sun also initiated a poll to determine what people think when asked, "Should women get married younger to avoid a man drought?" The results claimed 56 per cent of voters said "no" as opposed to 44 per cent for the opposite view. This may suggest many of the people in the affirmative were probably Christians promoting the value of marriage, whereas those against the idea were probably the people who are single and young and wanting more out of life than simply getting married and having kids.

It is hard to tell.

At Any rate, Father Kerin adds there is a desire for many people to settle down. Apparently there is a nearly four out of five people wanting this dream to settle down. But as Father Kerin said, "...for many, it remains an unattainable dream". His solution? To get married.

Or the reality is that people have already settled down, but not in a marriage kind of situation. Maybe his comments of wanting to settle down through marriage is more a protectionist view given the less relevance of the Church in society if the number of marriages is taking a bit of a nosedive at the moment.

Otherwise the environmentalists must be seriously worried about such comments given how few environmentally-friendly religious leaders there are in our midsts. Now if only Father Kerin could extend his extensive knowledge of the "justice" concept to include other lifeforms then maybe a balance can be taken on marriage and making babies.

All part of improving ourselves through broader education.

That is the fundamental purpose of why we are here living out our lives: to learn and improve ourselves so that other people do feel loved for who they are, and whatever they do or wish to achieve in their own lives. Whether this means we are getting closer to understanding God in the religious sense when doing so, that's another question. For everyone else, the power of education in learning new ideas and improving ourselves as a natural consequence of this learning is forever understood as central to human life.

And hopefully through all these changes and improvements will result in greater stability and less stress.

Talk about losing the balance in this sexual debate when it comes to producing babies by some religious people.

Maybe it is better to start using what we have between our heads rather than what's between our legs to solve world problems as well as personal ones when it comes to the issue of sex and making babies? Or maybe there should be more sex in the world (i.e. also use our hearts), but just consider putting on a condom instead of trying to over-populate the world. As they say, it is better to make love than to make war.

Going back to Dr McKenna's article, one can observe another interesting discovery. There is nothing to be found in the article by way of a discussion of what happens in a situation where doctors are the ones expressing the firm opinion that either the mother or the child or both could die unless there is an abortion.

Not even the article by Tankey and Sandison provides any insight. Instead it provides a straightforward case study to support the Christian's ethical view on abortion:

"A woman, unmarried and twenty, falls pregnant after consensual intercourse. She has an abortion. Following [St Thomas Aquinas'] Natural Law [theory], the outcome of this situation is unethical as it goes against the primary precepts and any possible secondary precept."

Here St Thomas Aquinas, a Christian philosopher and theologian, stated in one of his precepts (and adopted by the Church):

"...self preservation and the preservation of the innocent."

which by logical deduction must include the unborn child as a secondary precept and therefore under Christian view abortion must be seen as "morally impermissible".

Yet we have earlier learned of the tragic story of a 9-year-old Brazilian girl who fell pregnant by her father. Doctors made it clear her small body would not be able to carry through the pregnancy to a reasonable term. The result was that the mother would almost certainly (including the child) die unless there is medical intervention to stop the pregnancy. What would be the moral decision here for Christians? Let the mother and child die in God's way (i.e. by letting nature take its course with the smallest possibility, if any, that God may "find a way" to save the mother and child)? Or save the mother where she can experience the joy of having a baby at a more appropriate age? Or should the mother die and put her body on life support if there is a chance the baby might survive?

Just how much influence do doctors have with the Christians when it comes to this situation?

If anything, it seems doctors have no place in Christian thinking and, if anything, are seen as one of the causes for contributing to unnecessary abortions when we read the following and only piece of information in the article by Dr McKenna mentioning doctors:

"One study found that 74% of women who have abortions acknowledge that abortion is morally wrong, and that 83% of women would have carried their baby to term had they received support from their husband, boyfriend or family. Tragically, more than half of these women had the abortion because they felt coerced by an outside source such as a boyfriend, family member, or doctor."

If this is true, the question that naturally comes to mind is why would doctors be coercing a woman to have an abortion? Surely it isn't because these professionals want to play a sick joke on the woman. Nor do doctors take abortion lightly and hand them out as if they were Big Macs at a McDonalds store. There has to be a good medical reason for having the abortion. Unfortunately Dr McKenna does not explore this issue in detail. The most we find is Dr McKenna saying on the final page:

"Even when pregnancy poses grave difficulties and evokes tremendous uncertainty and fear, there is always a better alternative to abortion. There is always another way forward — but no woman should have to take this path alone."

And Christians are very quick to find any problems associated with contraception. For example, Margaret Tighe of Right to Life Australia said in regards to the most popular contraceptive pill available on the market known as RU486:

"We always said that taking Ru486 would have a very deleterious effect on women's health...taking a pill seems very easy, but what we are seeing here is there can be quite a lot of complications." (The Weekend Australia: Abortion pill 'less safe than surgery'. 7-8 May 2011, p.3.)

True, more long-term testing is probably required to ensure artificial contraceptives are safe. In the case of RU486, a few cases of excessive bleeding and the decision by some women to take the pill at a late stage of the pregnancy can complicate matters considerably for doctors. It is these complications that the Christians are quick to hone in and use as evidence to not use any form of contraception. For example, the Australian newspaper article of May 2011 revealed the following statistical information gathered by Adelaide-based doctors Ea Mulligan and Hayley Messenger for surgical abortion performed in a medical centre or hospital in South Australia as published by the GP's journal Australian Family Physician:

"Two of the 5823 surgical patients suffered severe haemorrhage, involving the loss of more than a litre of blood. This equated to a rate of one in 3,000, the study found."

Or roughly 0.034 percent of women may run into complications using the surgical abortion method. Compare this to medical abortion where women were prescribed mifepristone:

"Four of the 947 women who had medical abortions had the same problem, lifting the rate to one in 200."

Or roughly 0.422 per cent of women who chose the medical abortion approach. Since medical abortions usually take place at home by women after ingesting the pill from the doctor, it is harder to determine what additional things they did that could have complicated the issue. For instance, did they exercise immediately after taking the pill? Were certain types of foods consumed affected the pill's effectiveness or changed the blood chemistry in such a way as to increase the likelihood of complications arising from the use of the pill?

As Professor Caroline de Costa, an obstetrician based in Cairns in the state of Queensland said:

"I would emphasise...that these are the first figures for a procedure that is new for the people doing it and the abortion process occurs at home." (The Weekend Australia: Abortion pill 'less safe than surgery'. 7-8 May 2011, p.3.)

To Dr Mulligan, the statistics for complications associated with medical abortion is still considered low. Still, there is always room for improvement and more testing to see precisely what could be happening.

Nevertheless, the use of RU486 remains one of the safest pills available for women to use if prescribed within the recommended guidelines stated by the doctors.

And, if that is not enough, there are alternative pills now coming onto the market that are extremely safe for this purpose. The question is letting women know they exist and what they are if for any reason the use of condoms are not successful (extremely unlikely as they would require a miracle from God to see them break).

Christians still don't like the idea.

One can imagine what would happen if the medical profession suddenly discovers the possibility that the synthetic material used to manufacture condoms is somehow found to be detrimental to your health. Would the Christians jump on the bandwagon and use this information to argue no contraception should be used at all? It is better to wait until you are married and have as much unprotected sex as you want because this is God's way of how it should be done.

So what about partial or full withdrawal of the penis as a form of contraception? Will the Christians be happy with this approach? Maybe. Except it has to be in a married situation. Anything outside of this arrangement is not God's way.

So what happens to an unmarried 9-year-old girl who finds herself pregnant?

The presumed answer from the Christians is to do nothing. Just take a wait and see approach. Christians think such a situation is too rare so they probably don't have to worry about it, and when it does happen, God will find a solution. Yes, women won't be alone. There is a good chance they will be with God in such extreme medical cases. Yet if one is faced with clear and undivided medical opinion on the outcome of a woman's life (unless there are too many Christian doctors among the ranks of other doctors) and abortion is seen as the only sensible solution, shouldn't Christians know precisely what to do?

Apparently not. It would appear no abortion is a good abortion. Not even for the 9-year-old girl.

To be sensible about this, it isn't as if we don't have the medical technology to at least save one life (maybe even two depending on medical advances and what can be done). God is probably not going to be quite as kind by saving two. Indeed God may decide to take both lives. However, provide the medical treatment and doctors can almost guaranteed that at least one life can be saved. And who exactly would be worse off if doctors saved only one life? The mother or the developing embryo? Surely it would be better to save the mother, wouldn't it?

Or do Christians want to apply hope as an expression of their faith in God that something miraculous will happen (which is possible since we have all heard about the story of the virgin Mary somehow giving birth to a baby presumably without the help of a man, so why not a miracle birth for the 9-year-old girl, but is it probable that it will occur?). And if it doesn't work out in the end, Christians can say it was "God's will" — an attitude which would only bring greater controversy and moral dilemma to the entire "abortion" issue.

As for the rest of Dr McKenna's article, it goes on to discuss the negative effects of abortion in terms of psychological and emotional trauma, the loss to society in terms of the human potential, the ethics of abortion by stating every fertilised ovum should be protected, and what the Gospel and the Church says is morally right in this situation.

If as a woman you are unsure what to do, perhaps the following may assist in your decision:

1. As a woman, you are entitled to experience sex at any time and in the way you like to experience it. It is only the outcomes of the sex that have to be agreed to by both partners.

2. Sex is not a means by which you can control or manipulate a man to give what you want. Do not trap a man into having sex because you think having a baby will keep your preferred partner with you for life and/or solve all your other personal problems (e.g. financial or whatever as is the case for many women on sex dating sites who expect to visit men's homes before providing sex to see if they can provide for the women and then try to get pregnant). Sex is a shared experience and you are there to give unconditional love. If you want a baby, you and your partner must agree for this to happen. If not, you must respect the wishes of your partner. Neither you nor your partner should ever be pressured into giving love or the seeds for making a baby during sex. It is the choice of each individual to share whatever they wish to give to the other person with full agreement to whatever that is to be shared between each other.

3. Learn the art and science of R-brain sex, seen as the female side to sex. Remember that R-brain sex does not require you to be pregnant (and hence all the issues involving abortion). If you are not familiar with R-brain sex, use direct forms of contraception such as condoms (the preferred and safest option available) and the use of the latest and safest contraceptive pills as a way of handling what some psychologists call the L-brain form of sex (where people tend to act spontaneously and without thinking based on what they see resulting in immediate changes in behaviour). By being familiar with virtually all types of contraception available to you, you will be more in charge of your own life and what you want to do. You can decide how and where sex is performed. As Jill Sheffield, president of the US-based Women Deliver, said:

"When a woman is able to manage her fertility, she is better able to manage her life and to realise her full potential as a human being.

'This has tremendous positive implications for her family, her community, and her country, and is a solid cost-effective solution to maternal deaths worldwide. The advent of the birth control pill in the US sparked a revolution. We must support the continuation of the revolution worldwide, by ensuring affordable access to contraceptives for all individuals." (Baker, Lucy. Let's talk about sex: The Canberra Times (The Times Supplement). 23 September 2010, p.4.)

4. Understand there is basic technology (e.g. a condom and contraceptive pills) and/or knowledge (e.g. full and partial withdrawal) to ensure certain long-term consequences arising from sex are not experienced if you so choose. Remember, you can choose the experience you want to have (e.g. the pleasure of sex and the long-term benefits of enhancing your positive emotions and memory). And when you are ready, you can experience anything else to come from sex (e.g. making a baby). Remember, sex and making babies need not have to be seen as simultaneous events (as the Christians like to see it). You have the technology and knowledge today to separate the two events (no matter how much the Christians may hate this idea).

5. Teach men to understand the broader aspects of R-brain sex. Understand the different forms of natural contraception available, such as partial or full withdrawal of the penis from the vagina, or prolonged sexual activity as a means of reducing the energy available in men to achieve ejaculation. Or simply use condoms. NOTE: Full and partial withdrawal methods require men to be experienced in sex and with adequate R-brain skills. Even partial withdrawal of the penis may not be effective for young inexperienced teenage men who may accidentally push their penis deeper than they should. It is recommended that teenage men should always wear condoms until their minds become more R-brain adjusted and are familiar with their own and their partners' body during the experience. For more experienced types, men can either be tied up and females achieve the kind of sex they want with safety and all the protection they need. Only the most experienced men with enough R-brain skills can have the responsibility to be free and show consideration during sex and ensure a female such as yourself is not pregnant if you so choose.

6. Understand your body. Understand how sex leads to the creation of a baby. Yet bear in mind how important it is for you to enjoy the experience. You are not a vesicle for holding a man's penis and his sperms or an incubation machine for growing a baby and that's it. You are more than this. You have feelings and you deserve to experience those feelings to its fullest. Sex is more than just a means of reproducing the species. It is your tool to enhancing your emotions and improving your memory. Let the emotions help you to guide your thinking to the right areas, reinforce positive behaviours and achieve greater things in your life as well as for the other person (and ultimately for society).

7. Understand the body of your partner. Be sensitive to the signs when your partner is close to reaching his climax. Ensure there is the opportunity to prevent fertilisation of your egg if the aim of sex is definitely not to reproduce.

8. As part of understanding your own body, can your body physically cope with a new baby during the entire term of the pregnancy? Talk to your doctor about you and your partner's wishes to have a baby assuming this is the decision you have both reached and fully agree. Let the doctor check on your health and the health of your partner. Let the doctor explain all the outcomes and possible risks.

9. Once your egg is fertilised, it is not recommended you consider abortion at any stage unless your doctor explains it is in your best interest to do so because of a serious medical condition. To minimise any problems, try to have tests done early enough to see the likelihood of you experiencing those serious medical conditions during the term of your pregnancy. Is it worth the risk, or not? Will you love the baby for what he/she will become? Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your life for the sake of bringing a baby into this world?

10. Even if there are no medical grounds for the abortion, you should not feel guilt-ridden or like a second-class citizen by Christians or anyone else if you choose to have an abortion. It is not going to be like that remake of the 1970s horror film called It's Alive (2008) by director Robert Katz where the baby somehow survives the abortion pill taken by the mother and looks normal after it is born but in fact it has genetically mutated into the worse kind of predator you can imagine when it is hungry or hurt in any way by going after virtually every animal including humans who are not its parents. Relax. There is no scientific evidence behind it. In fact, scientists have a semi-technical term to describe this kind of film: C.R.A.P (Can't Really Accept the Proposition/Premise). Ignoring this outlandish aspect, it is wise to discuss with your partner the abortion option if you are considering it. If your family is already aware of the pregnancy, you should discuss it with them too. Talk to your doctor in case there might be other solutions. But whatever decision you make, make it soon. The later you leave it, the harder it is and the greater the risks (e.g. the medical procedure or the pregnancy itself may affect your chances of having a baby again in the future). Remember, no abortion (and no pregnancy) is ever easy. You should be supported for whatever decision you make.

11. Is there every indication that your developing offspring is perfectly healthy according to your family doctor? Excellent. But something is still making you question whether or not to go ahead with the pregnancy? If you are pregnant, probably by accident, and not sure what to do, ask yourself what would be the situation at home and for society should you let the baby come into the world? Will you and your partner continue to express the love you have shown for each other outside the bedroom for the child as well? Are you and your partner able to support the child into an independent and free-thinking young adult? And can you afford to bring a child into the world? If not, what about allowing another couple to adopt the child? Can you cope emotionally and physically this kind of situation? Or do you need to pay a nanny to help you? However, if there is no prospect of anyone wanting to look after the child, you are poor and the chances of the child surviving and showing his/her full potential are extremely slim, is it worth the child suffering in society and perhaps ending up fighting on the streets and exploring a world of crime if the love and support from you, your partner and society is not there? Indeed, you would definitely want to consider how much the child will suffer in society should it be discovered he will look like the "elephant man", or comes with two heads, 6 arms, a tail, horns growing out of the heads and so on and probably be called hell boy at the very least by the less than understanding but heavily L-brain types with extremely limited thinking skills. Society in its current state is of the L-brain type and how we look on a superficial level is, unfortunately, prized more highly than who we are as people on the inside. As the Australian professional singer named Kamahl (a dark-skinned fellow originally from Sri Lanka) once said, "Why are people so unkind?" Apart from the stresses of coping with the demands at work as well as the increasing population levels placing stress on the environment and other people, if you look different, you are most likely to be treated differently unless you are with people having the same differences. The difference in the way a person is treated occurs when other people feel their position could be threatened or they don't have long-term thinking skills to see the benefits of having those different abilities, skills and/or looks of the person. At other times it may simply be that people can't handle the differences and want to force you to be more like them. Whatever the case, L-brain types are more likely to use their L-brain "recognition" powers to highlight those differences and exaggerate or make it seem like a negative to have those differences just to make themselves feel better or more superior. Or they may identify a key factor you might need to survive or achieve something in your work and L-brain types will try to deny you this aspect in the hope of changing those differences (or encouraging you to disappear) while pretending nothing unusual is happening and, indeed, will often keep quiet. While the problem clearly lies with the people who highlight the differences and make their own negative personal judgements or apply behaviours that are not in keeping of how they normally should behave and show love to others, it can affect the person having those differences in certain ways. Hopefully the child will ignore it. But a child that doesn't look "normal" in the eyes of others is likely to experience considerable hardship unless the advantages of looking different can be shown and are significant enough. While an intimate knowledge of why people behave the way they do when it comes to these differences do help significantly for the child to tackle the issue head on, at other times physical action may be taken at some point in the child's life. Otherwise the person with the differences are more likely to withdraw from society creating other problems for society. If you know the baby will be born with differences that are likely to be interpreted negatively, you may be better off taking the abortion route until you are ready to be loving parents and can tackle the issues in your life and ultimately of society until changes are made for the better before bringing new life into the world. But if there is no evidence of anything wrong with your baby and you can support the baby or find solutions to give the baby the best chance, then what is stopping you from letting the baby achieve its full potential? Should you really need to abort the child?

12. When you do decide to have a baby, eat the healthiest foods of high nutrition you can find (well before conception and during and after having the baby). Do not drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. Keep to a light level of regular exercise, but don't overdo it. Even if you are not the finest specimen of health that the human race has ever produced, don't worry. Make sure you have enough nutrition, and learn about the things to make a baby healthy. And don't worry about the pressure of being a mother (or father). Everyone at some time will go through it too. There are many people to support you if you are feeling stressed.

13. When the baby is born, prove your child will have enormous potential for society by loving the child with all your heart and teaching it well. Nurture the baby, stimulate the child's mind to do different and balanced things, get the baby to experience different environments and food types to strengthen the immune system, and always be emotionally positive to the child.

14. If there is nothing else you will ever learn, learn this one thing: be positive, happy and show love by giving regular hugs to the child, and start as early as possible to keep the child preoccupied with fun and educational things to do. Allow other children to come into the home and develop good social skills. Talk to the child regularly. And be very patient. Indeed you will be tested many times as the child will cry for just about anything (not just for food or knowing it has crapped its pants, but often to seek attention and knowing you are there all the time). To deal with this situation, get into a rhythm with the child that while you will take care of the child's basic needs, at bedtime you must begin to set rules to ensure the child understands this is the time for sleep. The child has the brain to quickly learn the patterns of life.

15. Do not neglect yourself and your partner. The child is only as great as the parents themselves. So get a friend, your partner or someone else to help look after the child as you give yourself time out to do other things. Take regular rest as you need it. Go and exercise. Meet people. Reward yourself. Achieve something important in your own life. Do the things you need to make yourself feel at your best. The rest is up to the child to decide if he/she wants to be a greater person.

16. Give the child access to different points-of-views and experiences from different families in many different cultures.

17. Let the child become an independent free-thinking individual and world citizen and with the ability to make his/her own decisions for the good of all living things.

Should the knowledge of sex be banned?

Debate continues to rage over whether or not information and the images one can find relating to sex should be banned. In March 2009, the Australian (Rudd) Government attempted to trial a new filtering system which, if successful, would make Australia the first Western democracy to legislate mandatory internet filtering.

Telstra already offers a similar service for participating Australian families wanting to restrict access to information on the internet for their children. Other ISPs may have a similar system in place. However it seems the Government is aware of how easy teenagers can bypass these voluntary filtering systems. For example, teenagers can view sensitive material such as pornography on their personal mobile phones with internet access. Or they could easily visit someone else's home or elsewhere to have unrestricted access to internet information.

Clearly, without some form of government legislation forcing all ISPs to do as they are told, it seems highly unlikely any type of voluntary filtering system will work.

Jim Wallace of the Australian Christian Lobby is one such person in favour of the mandatory censorship system across the board if it means stopping people from turning into paedophiles and violent people by viewing porn, abortion information sites, euthanasia and other material according to his argument. It is believed any information relating to these issues of life and death and the knowledge of sex and especially if there is a risk people will turn into violent monsters in society is not relevant and not in God's teaching in the Bible. But there is another reason.

The other reason has its basis in economics. By banning pornography, people can be dumbed down sufficiently on the subject so that there is likely to be expanding populations in developed nations. For example, people with detailed knowledge of sex can choose when to have babies and, if so, just how many, if any at all depending on their views on the environment and other issues of the day. But since governments are particularly keen to kick start the birth rate of their own nation to help reinvigorate the economy, this is basically the last thing they want. The only way to solve this is to dumb down the nation over time by putting in long-term restrictions on such knowledge to the masses through the internet.

No doubt some people will be concerned about which web site and information will be banned by the Government depending on the views of certain people in the community.

But there is another ugly side of this Australian internet censorship proposal. Exactly which sites could be banned by the government would neither be known to the public nor the affected web site publishers. There is no transparency in the bureaucratic mechanism for banning internet information. All it takes is for one person to complain to the Australian Media Communication Authority (ACMA) if they think it causes harm or is offensive (usually an inexperienced or older L-brain person and probably with extreme christian views), and a web site or page could be banned without the web site owner or the users ever knowing about it. And there is no recourse or opportunity for independent review once a site or web page is banned under the current government proposal.

Not even users and web publishers can view the list of all banned web site addresses unless they put a request under FoI and even then the Government can argue "national interest" reasons for denying access.

Eventually the new filtering system being proposed by the Federal Government could eventually see all forms of pornography (which may include even this research page, or something like fetishes involving naked women mud wrestling, or those females wearing latex and performing facesitting as their form of R-brain sex in contrast to the L-brain approach taken by men) and information about abortion and euthanasia secretly banned from the entire Australian population.

The Government argues the filtering system is necessary to stop all forms of illegal information from being accessed by the Australian public such as child pornography, bomb making, etc. Okay. This is perfectly fine (and even then, people conducting legitimate research on these controversial topics will still need the ability to access this material to understand more about human psychology). But that's not what all the information on sex is about. Not every site discussing this issue or showing pictures are supporting this illegal information.

In fact, the number of sites containing illegal information is extremely limited and very hard to find. It costs a lot of money to find all these sites and it assumes the sites will not change location or addresses where it gets difficult once more to find.

If anything, all this money to filter web sites should be spent on education and ensuring there are adequate permanent jobs for everyone and paying well to cover the cost of living so that people will not choose to get involved in accessing or producing this kind of material online.

Then there is the question of which sites might be considered illegal in the eyes of the government? Today, it might be child pornography. Tomorrow it could be anything else. All it takes is for a R-wing government to take control of power in the parliament and illegal information might easily extend to include web sites that take a differing view to the government's own position especially around election time.

If people find out, the government will argue "Whoops! The fat finger problem has struke again!"

But even if we are to focus purely on child pornography or other illegal information, how could a filtering system work on the internet? We know such a system will not be foolproof. It will not hide all of the illegal information all of the time from everyone. It only forces the issue behind the information underground as people who publish this material find more sophisticated methods in the production and distribution of such material making it much harder to track down for law enforcement agencies. And even if it is not illegal but is somehow banned, the average Australian population will find ways to obtain the information.

It has been the same in the 1950s, 60s and 70s. The governments of the day may have put a ban on magazines that showed a glimpse of a naked breast on a woman. Yet males and females have found ways in an underground manner to obtain such material. Thanks to the advent of the camera and secret printing houses, those images were secretly distributed and hidden among those with a curiosity to understand what is happening in the real world. And if that happens to include sex, then tough. There was not a thing the authorities could do about it. Unless a person was silly enough to leave it strewn across a coffee table or left in the rubbish bin, everyone else were looking at things the government was trying hard to ban.

There was just not enough law enforcement back then. Today, the problem remains the same with a fast-moving technology that has too many avenues people can exploit.

Indeed, we see the government's solution for a nation-wide filtering system had come about because there was limited resources available for law enforcement agencies despite the extra AUD$40 million provided in the 2008-09 budget by the Rudd Government to presumably stem or hopefully stop the flow of the more illegal type of information on the internet, as well as access by children (or should that be "young adults") accessing any material on mobile phones or other locations.

As for internet-savvy users (we hear there are quite a few in Australia), all it takes is for people to use peer-to-peer file sharing technology, sophisticated miltary-grade home-made file encryption technology, or VoIP internet telephony to connect a standard modem (taking people back to the 1990s) instead of voice and join overseas ISPs with unrestricted access to help bypass the government filters.

Will it succeed?

Well, the biggest problem is how do you ban the massive amounts of digital information capable of being changed into many different forms? All it takes is for the information to be encrypted and/or compressed or a unique file format created and then what? Name the file innocently and send it through free public/anonymous email systems to trusted individuals. Or upload the file to a free anonymous web site (generally some people will hack another web site to hold the information without the web site owners being aware of it). Or even use peer-to-peer software tools to provide information at selected times (without establishing a specific pattern), specific MAC addresses of the machines, and/or locations.

This is clearly the next level required of a filtering system to handle.

Perhaps the government is working with commercial software manufacturers to produce encyption software to allow government inspection of the encrypted files created by people on the internet but don't tell people they can read the files? If so, how would this change people's perception of the internet as a safe place to provide personal information and perform transactions on an encrypted web page? The implication is that encrypted transactions between a customer and a bank or commercial business selling products and services could be viewed and if people find out, they may no longer trust the internet for any type of e-commerce activity. Then a lot of businesses dependent on internet commerce could collapse and the biggest economic recession on the internet would become a reality.

Many businesses may no longer be able to become secure global businesses with the help of the internet.

As for the idea of banning all forms of pornography thinking it would prevent people from becoming violent rapists, paedophiles and the works, there is no scientific evidence to support this view. A number of psychologists have come forward arguing it requires individuals to have a long history of abuse from others followed by a decision by the individuals to consistently view increasingly violent porn images to increase the likelihood of it occurring. While one does question the need for violence in any porn, everyone else who views harmless porn images, even for extended periods of time do not, under any circumstances, turn into monsters. They remain normal and socially well-adjusted people.

It is only the few percent of people where society has failed them where the concern lies. Yet the solution to ban all types of pornography on the assumption it may turn people into violent individuals is an overreaction to an issue that could be easily solved by other means.

Should the restrictions take place across Australia, we can be sure a massive black market will develop. And it won't take much to bypass the internet restrictions. Just like the children (i.e. young adults) who have found a way through mobile phones or other internet machines to access the information, it is likely adult Australians will have their own solutions to the problem in due time.

NOTE: At the time this was written, the Government wanted ISPs to join the trial. Only a few ISPs have participated. Telstra, iiNet and many others have refused presumably because of the potential for a massive public backlash and loss in profit.

## UPDATE ##
7 April 2009

Realising not enough ISPs were participating in the trial, the Federal (Rudd) Government has announced it will spend $43 billion to build their own national broadband network. The carrot in the system: it will be up to 100 times faster (especially for city users) than available to most consumers today. The stick: The Government will impose its own web site restrictions and monitoring at the right time.

The RuddNetwork, as it is affectionately known, will be incredibly fast. The government is touting a minimum of 12Mbits per second and potentially up to 100Mbits using fibre optic cables right up to the homes and businesses of all cities and major towns. For people in remote areas and towns with a population under 1,000, the latest wireless and satellite technology will be developed — currently the best we can achieve today is 43Mbits and will get faster in 10 years time.

To give an indication of the speed we are talking about (approximately 100 times faster than the current broadband technology available in 2008-09, especially for city users), it will allow anyone to download a high-definition (HD) digital video in about 20 seconds, or several movies simultaneously in a matter of minutes. As far as standard web sites of today are concerned, each page will download virtually instantaneously. And when it comes to the government's own filtering system, it will help to grab a lot of web sites and test them for suitability for public consumption in a short period of time (assuming no funny encryption).

When it is built, it will place Australia in a commanding position to deliver the world's most powerful broadband system (assuming other ISPs don't catch on to the same technology and do their own work). The system will, for the first time, provide a significant opportunity to see vast numbers of public servants and other information-based workers working from home (except for those working at ASIO and other sensitive organisations). And that would mean significant reductions in carbon dioxide emissions from cars and buses. Meeting a significant emissions target of 60 per cent or more in the next 10 to 20 years will be feasible.

The speed of the proposed network could also see a significant number of Australians joining up if they can afford the minimum suggested estimate of AUD$80 per month fee (and as much as AUD$200 per month for the fastest speed possible in the centre of the city). Otherwise public libraries will be busy with people accessing the network for free (now done wirelessly onto people's laptops or smartphones).

Perhaps the world's first purely digital library will be built in Australia having no books but rows of computer flat-screens and keyboards (or bring your own laptop) with the main computer units hidden away on long recyclable and solidly-built wooden tables (aged to look like it has been there for generations so as not to be recycled immediately and not requiring maintenance) with quality executive chairs within a solar-powered building (connected to the grid for nighttime use) containing glass windows from floor to ceiling overlooking an attractive and lushes park, open 24/7 with a security card, will be the norm? It would mean further emission reductions as trees will not be required to supply books to libraries or even consumers (but if any books are produced, they will be of the enduring classic kind printed on synthetic paper lasting more than 1,000 years; anything else that changes regularly can be recycled electronically).

There will be far-reaching consequences in the new network. Immediate benefits include 37,000 new jobs during the peak period of building the network, and 25,000 jobs per year on average thereafter. The immediate economic benefits will be felt immediately if the project went ahead. More importantly will be the long-term benefits to the economy and the environment.

It is claimed to be the biggest infrastructure development project in Australian history, bigger than the Snowy Mountains Hydroelectric Scheme.

But it won't be the biggest for Australia in the next 100 years. The project to rebuild the environment will be far bigger. Until then, the broadband infrastructure is just the beginning towasrds a major push to protect the environment and provide significant jobs for Australians so long as everyone is aware the government's own self-imposed restrictions could become the norm on the new network.

## UPDATE ##
9 April 2009

The Australian (Rudd) Government is suggesting the work to build the new broadband network will take 7 to 8 years to complete. Once in place, the government is expected to sell off parts of the network to private industry to help recover costs and potentially make a significant profit. But while the government still retains control of the remaining network (probably at critical junctures or nodes), it is likely some form of restriction to web sites will be implemented.

## UPDATE ##
November 2009

If you keep persisting with the trial and threatening to build a separate and faster broadband system to affect the profits of ISPs and eventually enough ISPs will have to try the filtering system out. Now it seems the early choice of filtering has been carefully done to ensure users are not aware of the information being banned. So far a reasonable number of ISPs are not noticing a major or even a minor impact on their profits.

It is likely the filtering system will become standard for the Australian population.

Yet the problem remains: which sites will be banned and who can view the banned list for greater transparency in the entire process?

## UPDATE ##
1 June 2010

It is looking like the Rudd Government will have its way in getting the internet filtering system happening for the Australian population sooner rather than later.

Everyone else will just have to do it secretly and with the most sophisticated technology compared to how people used to do it in the 1970s and before then.

## UPDATE ##
22 June 2010

The only other option the Government has in controlling internet information where it might be encrypted is to collect the vast amount of data including where it came from and where it is going and hopefully after enough time it can be unencrypted and give some clue as to how to identify the people involved in the communication.

Furthermore, the authorities are hoping the source and destination locations of the potentially illegal information will be stable enough to track down the individuals. For example, if the source of the information is from a stable long-term web site, it gives time for the authorities to decrypt the data and potentially identify the owner. Then it is just a matter of asking ISPs to record the web sites accessed by their customers and link this back to the billing and home address of the customers should the same illegal information be found.

But where the source of the information changes regularly and is seriously encrypted, the authorities will have a bugger of a time collecting the data and figuring out where it is coming from. Even harder if people decide to access the information from anonymous locations using laptops with fake MAC and/or IP addresses.

For all intensive purposes, it might as well be seen as white noise passing through the internet rather than anything the authorities can put a finger on and say, "What's that!"

  1. At what age should children learn about sex? We recommend as early as possible, preferably at the time when children begin to have a curiosity for the opposite sex (e.g. using mobile phones to view images of naked bodies in private) and want to know what a penis and/or a vagina is and how they work (and certainly when children have any sexual inclination at the sight of a penis, breast or vagina).

    What kinds of information should these young adults be shown to help them understand the subject? It depends on the level of knowledge the children has gathered about the subject on their own. However, whether we like it or not, there will be a time when the young adults will already have seen enough images of naked men and women, close-ups of genitalia, and possibly seeing people engaged in sex, as part of their own rough sex education. This has to be the time when parents and teachers must work together to teach the finer points of sex and all of its consequences — both positive and the potential negatives — before it is too late.

    For very young girls at primary school asking about why their own bodies are changing and of trying to understand the opposite sex (i.e. what a penis is? etc), or very young boys asking why girls have breasts and no penis, simple drawings on a piece of paper is usually enough to help the children understand. Beyond that, these children will not have an interest in sex at all. There is no need to go further.

    For teenagers in high school and certainly at college, much higher quality information must be presented on the subject. Oversimplified pictures of "cylinders" and "sticks" really don't help much for the imagination of the children who are already trying to grapple with the very issues of sex and their bodies, especially those students who may be contemplating on having sex with someone just to find out.

    Just ask a young boy who has never experienced sex before but may have seen images of naked women in magazines out of curiosity what you mean by "the cylinder" and they would be confused. Likewise, a young girl would probably feel the same way when you mention or draw simplistically a "stick". The use of "sticks" and "cylinders" may be fine for very young children. But it is surprising how many people still use these images to teach older students who are about to finish their last year at college what sex is all about. Clearly we must do better.

    It is not surprising to find this oversimplified approach to sex education taught at Catholic schools as if teachers are afraid to discuss the subject openly and with adequate detail. Well, what are the chances of a local priest whose is suppose to be celibate teaching the finer intricacies of sex to students?

    In all probability, it seems most unlikely!

    Teenagers entering high school and certainly by the time they reach college (and who do not want to become celibate priests) will almost certainly have seen graphic images of sex or at least close-ups of human genitalia. If not on the internet, then privately with friends. And when they have seen such images, the young L-brain types will almost certainly be curious enough to find out what sex is about with someone they can trust (the moment when society should start to worry).

    Some critics might argue that this kind of surreptitious "cylinder" and "stick" approach to sex education is enough not to warrant more detailed and open discussion about sex in the classroom or at home. Maybe so. But this is a very big risk indeed. Teenagers may already have seen graphic images of naked people, possibly engaging in sex, but they won't really understand all the consequences.

    There is still a need for much more sex education to be provided to teenagers and in greater detail. The old "stick" and "cylinder" images are not enough to teach children about sex. And we can't sit back and hope children will know what to do on their own. It is far better for adults to make available detailed and clear information (videos, sex-education books etc) from experts about every aspect of sex.

    On the other end of the extreme, if you ask a doctor to scientifically explain sex in an educational program, it often ends up involving the dissection of an abdomen carcass from a pig without its skin on. This only confuses the matter further because all you see is a piece of fairly grotesque meat (guaranteed to put off anyone from having sex for good). Then you definitely need a doctor to highlight where the urethra, vagina and anus is and roughly what fellopian tubes and ovaries look like (and probably a psychologist to help men have another relationship with females in the future after seeing this). A classic example is Dr Alice Roberts in the BBC series Don't Die Young: The Female Reproductive Organs. Here a pig's carcass is used to show the female reproductive system. Dr Roberts would have been better off painting the organs on a naked human female model and used 3D computer images to show precisely what it looks like in the human body to help minimise the confusion, to get males to approach females once more, and to entice males to see females as more than just a piece of meat after this program.

    Dr Alice Roberts holding a fellopian tube and ovary from a young pig.

    Teenagers need clear information on the subject without restriction, and in their own privacy if they require it, rather than to "twiddle-ones-thumbs" and hope for the best.

    That is why sex education campaigns on television showing a simple image of a condom as a heavily censored way for L-brain adults to teach young people to protect themselves during sex if they choose to engage in this activity doesn't work. Children have to know what a condom is used for and why it works when shown a picture of it, and not just what it looks like. And the best way is to show its purpose as young as possible (as soon as they understand what a penis or vagina is) both at school and at home using appropriate sex education aids. For example, in Africa, children are taught as young as 10 years how to put a condom onto a dummy penis as part of their sex education program. So why not in developed countries of the world as well?

    So what kind of information should we show in a proper sex education program? The information is best done with books, videos and toys discussing from a purely educational perspective the intricacies of sex and all their positive and negative consequences. And that education will have to include detailed and graphic scenes of humans engaging in sex. There is no other way to be explicit in these troubling times.

    Let's face it. Sex should be seen just like any other sexual activity observed in the animal kingdom. Some wildlife documentaries are happy to show sex among animals, even at 6.30pm in the evening when the entire family might be watching it. Now really, haven't you seen a couple of rhinos having sex on top of a hill in a profile position? You obviously can't miss the massive penis from the male rhino penetrating the vagina of the female rhino despite showing this scene for less than 3 seconds. Clearly it is all natural. So why not human beings as well? What makes us so incredibly special that we have to hide the issue of sex from everyone else?

    Is it really that embarressing?

    There should be no mystery about it. And we shouldn't be running away from it. Sex has to be an open discussion. The sooner we all learn about it, the quicker we can understand it, know what to do when it happens, experience it on our own when we are ready, become our own experts in the field through knowledge and experience and know what to do when achieving the goal in sex in the safest and most responsible way possible, and then move on to achieve other important goal(s) in life.

    As for parents, they should be able to leave a video or book about sex on a shelf (or an unlocked cabinet) in a natural way and let young people explore the subject in their own time. If children ask about the subject, do not be afraid to discuss it. As John Brownell, a father of two sons, has said:

    "My two sons, now 22 and 19, had the need for condoms and safety in sex drummed into them from the age of about 12, which is when everyone at school is talking about sex.

    'I made sure there were condoms always available at home, encouraged them to bring their girlfriends back home when they reached 15 just in case they were anything like myself and starting early — and they have been very responsible.

    'This is the opposite of the way I was parented — no talk of sex, no girls back home — so it was left to me to work it out in the back of an old car in the bush. Thanks to us being okay with a few, short, light and succinct chats at opportune moments, I am not a grandfather yet!" (Baker, Lucy. Let's talk about sex: The Canberra Times (The Times Supplement). 23 September 2010, p.4.)

    Teachers, on the other hand, will have to provide some practical situations relating to sex and in answering more specific questions from students.

    Parents and teachers should not have to worry about whether such detailed information lying around in the home or sex education classroom will harm teenagers. So long as teenagers can decide when, where and with whom to learn sex, they will not be harmed by it. If teenagers have seen enough images of naked men and women and/or actual scenes of sex in magazines, videos etc, or if they are genuinely curious about the subject, they will know when they are ready to learn and will learn quickly.

    Even if teenagers don't understand what it is and/or don't what to learn about it, parents and teachers shouldn't have to worry about the information lying around naturally, because the teenagers will ignore it. End of story.

    Sex is one of those things you can't use law enforcement or simplistic education campaigns to control the situation. Nor can you force people to learn about it. Sex is something people must decide for themselves. When people are ready, they will learn. And they will find a way to learn about it irrespective of what the law says. And when they learn, they need all the details to fully understand it.

    The same is true of drink-driving campaigns we see on television. One can show numerous education ads to try to convince young people not to drink and drive. But the most effective ads are those that show directly what happens when a person drinks and what kinds of accidents can occur when they drive. Better still, young people who do get involved in an accident while drinking will almost invariably change their behaviour and thinking when they are actually shown pictures of, or attend accidents, where people's mangled bodies are shown in full colour.

    Yes. Sometimes showing the grim reality of what happens to people when they are injured or killed as a result of drink-driving is the best real-life educator for young people. Why? It is now a well-known fact in psychology that many young people quickly learn not to drink and drive at the same time if they see it in detail. If necessary, some young people may even need to actually see it up close and even clean up a mangled human body, including all the smell, the blood, the sight of a crushed skull and so on to really "hit home" the true reality of what happens.

    It's shocking, but young people learn very fast.

    The equivalent version of this in sex education may be to show what happens up close (and preferably in real-life) when a women gives birth to a child (or to show hungry children in third-world countries dying on the streets when there are too many people). In that way, young people can see some of the consequences of having sex.

    In summary, children must decide for themselves when they are ready for sex. Leave the information in a place where they can learn about it in their own private way. And don't impose our own rules of when sex should be allowed or force children into a life of abstinence. The more you stop children, the more they are likely to defy the rules and learn for themselves in their own way.

  2. In some Middle Eastern religions, the power to control sexual behaviour in men who rely on visual information to make decisions is for women to wear clothes to reduce their sexual allure.

    For women in Western society, it is to use less makeup and wear longer dresses or put on trousers. But because Western society is organised mainly by males who need to sell products, employ people, and feel part of a group, women are more likely to dress up in a way to increase their sexual attractiveness to the right people.

    Does it mean women are not responsible for their affect on men's behaviour? No. It is a shared responsibility. While it is true women should be aware of their influence on men's behaviour through their appearance especially among L-brain types, men must also develop sufficient R-brain skills to better control their own personal behaviours so as not to be affected by the appearance of women.

    One of those skills is to practice deep breathing, closing the eyes, and use visualisation techniques in areas designed to replace the item being observed with something else. Or learn to look elsewhere (e.g. concentrate on your work, or take a walk outside to get some fresh air) to ensure certain thoughts do not lead to inappropriate behaviour (e.g. kissing or say something you might regret later).

    Or why not meditate on the issue on your own and ask yourself what exactly affects you when you observe someone of the opposite sex wearing sexually-revealing clothing? Now use the mind to train yourself not to be affected. For example, breasts are breasts. What's the big deal? Haven't you seen them before? Try to imagine them as two great big pimples sitting on the chest having a lot of white pus behind then and needing to be popped some day by the female. If you think of it this way, you start to balance your thinking and see them as just another part of the human body. With practice, you will be able to control your behaviour the next time you see breasts.

    The same should be done with any other intimate sexual region of the body.

    And yet another powerful technique is to go the opposite way. Why not immerse yourself with hundreds or literally thousands of pictures of, say, breasts of women from around the world and at different ages and conditions. In fact, the most effective way to solve the problem is to face the item directly and explore and learn everything that needs to be known. This implies becoming totally familiar through extensive education until men become so overwhelmed by it that eventually they become disinterested or satisfied in the item being observed. In other words, show breasts of different sizes, including ones that droop down heavily to the floor (have a look at some well-endowed black African women), and at different ages? Also look at what happens when breasts are removed after surgery. Keep looking at the pictures until you get sick and tired of looking at them. Okay, so you had enough?

    Once men know everything especially through pictures in their own quiet place away from direct contact with females, there isn't the great desire to be influenced again and to the same sexual extent by the thing being observed. Why? Because it is the same for every woman. Not withstanding the usual slight superficial differences, the breasts and vagina are all essentially the same. They all serve the same purposes. And the so-called mystery of the item becomes no longer a mystery to men. Men then look elsewhere for other things to do or let the females decide what they wish to do and help them in the appropriate way.

    It is not unlike the technique used by psychologists where the best way to deal with people's irrational fears is to face the fear itself. For example, the technique is applied to help people get over a fear of, say, spiders. To overcome the fear, you simply learn everything about it. You read books about it. You see lots of pictures of different spiders. And then you experience the situation up close and personal. You let the spider touch your body and see what it does. Is it going to hurt you? No. It is just doing its own thing, wondering around the environment. It has no need to harm you if you don't harm it. Soon your rational skills develop with your R-brain through the knowledge and experience you have gathered until you discover how easy it is to control your feelings and behaviour. It is as simple as that. The same is true for men facing the issue of sex.

    Of course, if men were to look at a real naked breast or vagina up close for the first time, you need to be prepared for some setbacks. Occasionally men, especially when they are young, will have poor R-brain skills to control their behaviour and will often need to engage in sex, if not immediately, on the sight, smell and touch of a naked female body. If this is not what females want, then there must be strict methods of controlling the situation. For example, try to have several female friends present to supervise the situation with men and call on someone for help if need be. Alternatively try tying up the males and have them lie back so that it becomes virtually impossible for males to control the situation. Only the females will have total control as the men experience and see whatever is required for a long enough period of time until it teaches them to see sex or the sight of a breast as something not worth fussing over. Do it for a long enough period of time and the sight of a naked breast or anything else should not cause excitement to men. Men will be satisfied and easily controlled.

    Seriously, some L-brain men need to nip it in the butt so to speak to help them overcome the spontaneous behavioural responses to the sight of, say, a naked breast, backside or even legs. If females can show the way in a controlled fashion, the quicker society can become balanced and comfortable by all issues relating to sex.

    And it doesn't matter at what age the female might be at. Whether she is 60 years old or an 8 year old, good R-brain skills should not evoke any sexual response from a male. Even if the female is as young as, say, 8 years old, is naked and is sitting or rubbing herself on a male's face as she discovers whether she can develop any sexual response in herself, the male should be able to relax and not hardly notice what is going on (other than just trying to find a way to breathe comfortably underneath it all). That's the level of control that needs to be developed in males in order for females to truly feel safe and be sexually liberated.

    And it all depends on the level of R-brain development and experience men have with a female body.

    This is why males and females, on seeing each other for the first time, will naturally get excited and want to have immediate sex. Sex is quick and reaching orgasm is just as fast. But after a period of time, the sex gets more controlled. The male has already seen a female body and what it looks like. He has experienced what it is like to insert his penis inside a vagina. There isn't any desire for the male to reach an orgasm quickly. Instead the male learns to let a female have the kind of sex or sexual response she wants by slowing things down and making it last longer. Then sex is seen as just another experience in life.

    Sometimes it is better to be open, let men see what they have to see in controlled conditions, give men more time away from work, be educated and experienced, let some women be trained to give men all they need to be educated and satisfied about sex, and then men become accustomed and sensible about the issue. Then behaviour becomes more appropriate and safer in the long term for all concerned.

    NOTE: This is probably why Christians wait to be married before having sex because the long period of being celebate resulting in people becoming inexperienced in the act itself is more likely to cause "accidents" during sex because of the intense and uncontrolled excitement leading to what we call pregnancy. So when a Christian says he/she must wait to get married before having sex, what he/she means is that there is a higher probability of "accidents" taking place during sex because of the inexperience. To make it worse, the Pope recommends you do not use condoms when the time comes to having sex. So if "accidents" are to take place, it might as well be done when you are married and not before. Because when you are married, you can be as inexperienced and accident-prone as you like. What matters when you are married is making a baby, which is seen by Christians as the greatest gift from God.

  3. Should young people have sex?

    In most countries, sex is depended on the age, which is thought to be psychologically and physically safe at around the age of 18 and over known as the legal age.

    But unfortunately the law supporting this minimum age (the simplest approach to the problem by L-brain societies) can be a bit of an "ass" and "behind the times" because it does not take into account the differences in sexual maturity and physical readiness for sex reached by young men and women, let alone whether they choose to give explicit consent for having sex or not. The law as we have them now was established presumably to avoid causing physical and/or psychological damage to young people and to ensure young people do understand what it means to have sex and not to feel as if they are being exploited by the experience.

    And why young people specifically? If the real reason for putting a legal age limit on people having sex is because of the size of the body (i.e. considered too small below a certain age) and nothing else, shouldn't there be a law specifically targeting the physical size issue only? In which case, all those small and thin female cyclists would have to be considered too small to handle sex let alone get pregnant irrespective of the fact that they might be aged over 20 years.

    So which is it? Is it the age, or the physical body size? Or is it more psychological and/or lack of sex education for people to make decisions? But if a person's age and/or size is considered below the acceptable range and yet chooses to look for and experience sex and nothing else, what happens then? Can the law stop this situation?

    The law must keep pace with the times if it is to be of relevance to all the people of a society. It must take into account the situation where young people in developed countries are already sexually maturing sooner than ever before, may choose to have sex, and can physically have sex. New technologies are also making it easier than ever before for anyone to experience and see sex if they want to.

    And what about the fact that people can choose for themselves when to experience sex at a certain age? No law can truly stop young people under the legal age limit from choosing when to experience and learn sex behind closed doors and with whomever they want. Nor will extensive education campaigns produced by L-brain people will ever "stop" young people from engaging in sex. Too many people will be attempting to experience sex, no matter what the consequences are, just to find out. And this would be more common in a society where there are significant stresses and limited emotional support from the community.

    Let us not kid ourselves into thinking that we can apply the same law enforcement to sex as we can for drink-driving. There is no comparison. While it is easier for police to identify drivers who have been driving under the influence of alcohol (just watch them drive and identify them through the car registration number), the issue of sex cannot be policed in the same way. You cannot constantly identify people with a registration plate number stuck behind their backs as they walk down a street, and then follow them home and see what they are up to in the bedrooms of the world just to make sure everyone is doing the right thing.

    The point is, you can't apply the Big Brother technique on every person in the world 24-hours-a-day, seven-days-a-week over many lifetimes to ensure young people are doing the right thing. It is far too costly and stressful to do so. Even the KGB in the old communist country of Russia found it extremely hard to deal with it (the Russians were often quiet as a mouse, or had the music turned up loud). So just imagine what it is like in democratic countries like the US and Australia!

    That's why the European law governing "under age" sex tends to be more flexible. The law acknowledges the possibility of teenagers being ready for sex earlier than 18 years of age. All the law requires is for teenagers to say they have given their consent.

    So what do you do if a young person wants to engage in sex? In a balanced society, you should first realise that sex is natural. There is no need for you to run away and yell "Mummy!" This is the time to be mature. Begin by asking with whom? You need to know this just in case the person has you in his/her sights. But even if it is you, don't be afraid. Acknowledge the fact that this person has these feelings and needs to be reassured that it is okay to feel this way.

    If, however, the young person has someone else in mind, perhaps he/she is trying to find someone like yourself to give them confidence that it is alright. Or perhaps he/she needs your help to learn more about the other person to see if they are ready or mature enough to handle the issue. In the latter case, you should try to encourage the young person to talk to the other person he/she wants to have sex with to determine these sorts of things for him/herself. Or talk about the fear other people may have in approaching others on the issue. In a balanced society, there is no fear. In L-brain societies, people are always worried about these things.

    Now suppose you are the one being targeted by the young person in this potential sexual encounter. What do you do? Well, for a start, just be happy. It is not everyday that you are made explicitly aware of the fact that someone is interested in you in this kind of way. Sex is certainly a wonderful experience and is something we all need from time to time. Sex is just another form of love.

    So don't say, "Oh! You are just being dirty, aren't you?" or "Did you know that one in four people carry some form of sexually transmitted disease?" That kind of talk will almost certainly not put the young person at ease. Remember, if you are confident in your health and do the right thing and the other person is honest, then there are always ways you can deal with the potentially negative consequences of sex.

    See sex as a real positive experience for both you and the young person.

    Unfortunately in our current L-brain society, you are fully entitled to feel a little anxious or cautious about the issue of sex with other people. A L-brain society will often have individuals who want to do things quickly and will not want to think about what they are doing. When it comes to sex, this is even more of a problem with sexually-transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies stemming from this lack of thinking. And then there are the legal aspects to consider as well.

    NOTE: This is the reason why many L-brain people view the world's oldest profession known as prostitution in a negative way. L-brain (or "R-wing") people only see the negative consequences of sex (e.g. the victimised sex worker, sexually-transmitted diseases, a link between drugs/gambling and sex, dubious characters are involved, unexpected pregnancies etc) and therefore feel prostitution has no place in society. Quite the contrary, in safe, clean and controlled conditions performed by sex professionals who not only enjoy their work but also understand what sex is about and its purpose in society as well as apply that knowledge and skill on their own terms without undue pressure from others, prostitution is in fact a very healthy and socially useful service. As Aveline Rubinshteyn, project worker for Sex Worker Outreach Project in Sydney, said:

    "The sex industry is still massively stereotyped. The media has created an image of the victimised sex worker [but] large numbers of women are choosing the sex industry to support themselves — many support themselves through university. So you've got educated women knowing what they're going in for and treating it like a business and, like any other business, learning skills.

    'These are women who know how to have sex. Their livelihood depends on it. Commercial sex can definitely be great sex. And the number of clients who come back to one particular worker time and again proves that." (Taffel 2004, p.5.)

    And it doesn't have to be about money all the time. A number of women do actually enjoy the work more so than the money.

    If this isn't the case, then why does prostitution exist at all? Given the somewhat harsh, unforgiving and unemotional way L-brain society has developed, it is natural for some people to see prostitution as an avenue for helping them to develop emotionally and in a more balanced way as well as making money for survival purposes.

    It is true some people may want to stand on their high moral ground by believing this kind of activity should be stopped (including drugs, corruption and other forms of crime). But they have to look at themselves and their society first and understand how it is affecting the individual before making judgements and telling other people what they should be doing.

    People who are supported in what they wish to achieve and can access a wide range of educational resources and skills development while knowing they can survive in society with food and their own roof over their heads, will always choose the right areas.

    Are you helping individuals in society have everything they need to survive and contribute in their own way?


    Also, in a L-brain society, there are bound to be strict and simplistic laws (attached to some rather strong and draconian punishment regimes for people who break these laws) clearly indicating the minimum age of consent when a young person can engage in sex. You should therefore be aware of this fact and for you to ask exactly how old the young person you might get sexually involved with actually is. This is crucial in a L-brain society with many man-made rules to follow.

    Age has been, and will continue to remain, an important issue in a L-brain society. Therefore to be absolutely certain you will not get into trouble with the law for the country you are in (sometimes the young person might dress up to look like he/she is much older than you think so greater care must be taken here), ask for some form of identification like a driver's license, a health care card or a student card.

    NOTE: It is very easy to evade the law simply by choosing a secluded place and behind closed doors to engage in sex with someone who is below the legal age limit for sexual consent. This is because it is virtually impossible to police the activity. However, you should show some character by explaining the law to the young person and making sure he/she understands the legal consequences of having sex if there is any doubt on the age of the young person. And anyway, young people are often still immature and will talk about the experience where it is more likely you will get into trouble with the law when other people find out.

    But don't stop there. What about the fact that you may not know this person all that terribly well. Who is he/she? What are his/her thoughts on the subject of sex and other aspects like good hygiene? Or is the person looking for a way out of a difficult situation in his/her life and using sex with you as their solution? This will help you determine how ready the person is and, if mature, how much preparation you will need to perform truly safe sex where only the most positive consequences can be experienced.

    Or perhaps there should be no preparation at all. Perhaps the real reason why the young person wants to have sex with you is because he/she is lonely and needs someone to talk to. If that is the case, it is absolutely important for you not to engage in sex with him/her on this issue. Be a friend rather than a lover. Proper and safe sex is really for people who are already secure in themselves and don't need to prove anything to anyone or have to gain something because there is something missing in their lives. True sex is something you share with someone unconditionally. You engage in it because you want to experience it.

    You have real sex because you want to, not because you have to do it or need to get something from someone else.

    In essence, whether or not you need to prepare for the moment, you have got to make sure the young person fully understands what it means to have sex and whether he/she is truly prepared to experience this intimate moment. Sex is not just a brief moment of intense pleasure and fun for everyone concerned. There is also a serious element to consider as well. For example, what happens at the moment of orgasm? For a man, orgasm and ejaculation are simultaneous events. You usually can't have one without the other. Does the young person understand this and how will he/she deal with the situation?

    If the young person is still interested in sex, discuss in a quiet and comfortable place all the essential consequences to come out of sex. And ask whether the person knows how to avoid certain unwanted consequences (e.g. making babies etc). This should bring out the knowledge of sex that the young person should have.

    If the young person is highly knowledgeable about the subject and still wants to give his/her consent to having sex with you, then you must reciprocate those feelings with the person. Ideally it should be done privately so the person can feel most comfortable.

    Remember, if the person persists, it is clear at this point that the person has thought through the issues very well and knows what to do. There is no need to worry about consent. He/she has given it to you. You have also seen the maturity and understanding of the issues concerning sex and its implications. And yet the person is not perturbed. All L- and R-brain issues in the young person's mind have been resolved and a decision has been made. So share the experience with the person. Enjoy the moment of happiness that will arise from this important event. It will only make you and your partner a more balanced and happier individual and will help make society a better place to live for everyone in the long-term because of it.

    Begin by choosing a quiet and comfortable place where both you and your partner can feel secure in experiencing this intimate moment. Next, prepare your own and the young person's body for the experience. Depending on what you have learnt about the other person, this should include a shower just prior to (and after) sex. This means cleaning the uncircumcised penis (i.e. pulling back the foreskin properly and washing with a natural low irritant soap free of sulfate compounds such as Sodium Laureth Sulfate or Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, or synthetic fragrances and preservatives), wearing a condom, and perhaps buying something from the chemist where you can spray the penis with an antiseptic and possibly anti-fungal chemical and use the penis later to disinfectant the vagina during sex.

    NOTE: There is talk of re-introducing circumcision for male babies. A once common practice in Australia prior to 1970 with more than 80 per cent of males getting the snip, the practice lost favour for a while until around 2010 where it seems more Australian parents are seeing this as the right thing to do. So why is it done? The primary claimed benefit is to reduce chances of sexually transmitted diseases from spreading during sex and to reduce the chances of urinary tract infection taking hold that could ultimately lead to kidney damage. The secondary claimed benefit is simply to make it easier for men to become sexually-ready and it seems to make the head of the penis easier to stimulate. However both situations can be easily dealt with for uncircumcised men by simply pulling back the foreskin and washing as usual in the shower on a daily basis, and using the same technique when it comes to preparing for sex. The only reason why people choose circumcision is because it is mentioned in the Bible and therefore is seen as important for religious reasons. And also because most males are simply lazy or find it uncomfortable to pull back the foreskin and properly clean it.

    You may also need to consider things like a special lubricant to ensure the penis is able to smoothly enter the vagina. And what about the possible fact that a young person may need more time to prepare? Has the person considered the option of facesitting as a means of preparation, and even as a means of achieving climax?

    In fact, sex need not ever have to involve a penis entering a vagina. Most young people may be satisfied by regular facesitting or traditional oral sex to help them achieve climax and nothing more.

    Please consider these things, especially for a young person. It is very easy to get emotional at this crucial stage and ignore all the preparation. Understandably you are lying/sitting/standing comfortably with your partner. There are no distractions except for the person you are with. The feelings you and your partner have for each other are mutually the same and increasing by the second. Certainly it is tempting to go straight into sex and quickly reach for the goal (i.e. orgasm).

    This is especially true for a young person who may become quickly overwhelmed by the experience and would prefer to engage in sex straight away. Perhaps the young person is focussed purely on the goal either because he/she wants to know what an orgasm feels like. This is understandable for a young person. But try to delay the experience if you can. Remember, you may have acquired information during your discussions with the young person which would suggest that you need to go through various stages of preparation before the actual moment of sex begins.

    Or perhaps facesitting is a far better alternative to any form of penetration of the vagina with a penis?

    Sex is not just a short-term benefit of reaching for the orgasm. There is also a long-term benefit where only the positive consequences will be experienced such as an improvement in memory, increased self-confidence, a greater willingness to learn new ideas, improved communication skills, more intuned with your own and your partner's feelings, looking after your natural environment better, and eventually becoming a more self-fufilling and balanced individual.

    Because of this eagerness in the young person to engage in sex, you may find it easier to slow down the experience if you are older and the young person is willing to learn. So use the experience you have acquired to help teach the young person the finer points of sex and how to prepare each other for the moment. The more you and your partner prepares for sex, the more enjoyable and emotionally intense is the experience including the actual moment of having the orgasm.

    Is the young person still wanting to try the method of sexual intercourse involving the penis and vagina?

    You should also consider the actual physical act of inserting the penis into the vagina as an equally important part of any good preparation. In particular, a young woman, for example, will often need extra time to prepare her vagina to accept a man's penis. And that means more communication and basic touching in a gentle manner. If necessary, oral sex should play an integral part of the sexual experience to help a young woman relax and make it easier to accept a man's penis.

    NOTE: A man can also feel the need to prepare for sex as well. It is a common problem for men to think that if they don't perform immediate, they are inadequate or "not a real man". Nothing could be further from the truth. It is natural for men to experience this situation. If he feels in any way uncomfortable in having sex because of his surroundings or other potential stressors, he may need extra help from the woman to prepare him by making him feel more relaxed and if necessary to delay the moment of sex until he is comfortable in experiencing it with her.

    Later, as a young women (or a young man) gets older, this physical step of preparing the vagina to receive the penis may not be necessary. You will see this by the way people present themselves. For example, older women will usually not be too concerned whether or not to shave their pubic hair so as to encourage men to perform oral sex on them. Where there is lots of pubic hair on an older woman, she is more likely to be easily prepared for sex simply with a couple of minutes of intense kissing. Or, for an older man, he will be able to relax for a longer period of time before having an erection so as to give adequate time for the woman to be prepared.

    These sorts of observations will become apparent to everyone, especially in the right company of people who understand the importance of sex and the responsibilities that go with it (i.e. in a more balanced or R-brain society).

    NOTE 1: In our current L-brain society, it is recommended that all publishers, including web site owners, who choose to display images of people engaging in sex or merely displaying their bodies as art to provide clear evidence of whether the people depicted in the sex scenes or as a model have given explicit written consent to (i) participate in this activity; and (ii) to have their pictures taken and published. The written document should also indicate the age of the participants together with their signature as a form of legal protection to the publisher and all other participants. Finally, the document should be clearly displayed (or easily accessible) in the published material. It is okay to block out personal information like names on the published document copy for privacy reasons. But in the case where publishers are required to prove the people involved in the activity are legitimate under the law (especially if people depicted in the scenes appear to be unusually young), they can supply the original documents for inspection by authorities. Finally, a word of advice should always be provided by the publishers to all readers to ensure other people who may wish to experience this kind of activity understand how people should engage in sex, and that means no form of undue pressure, feeling of exploitation, or manipulation are employed by anyone involved in the activity.

    NOTE 2: The legal system of Western nations should consider taking on a more European role of getting social workers and therapists to talk to young people already experienced in sex from an older person to determine if there has been any abuse, coersion or not of their own choosing before prosecuting older people. Any evidence to suggest young people have given consent to sex should be adequate not to convict an older person on charges of rape.

    Remember, people engaged in sex do it because they want to, not because they have to or feel pressured in any way. Everyone must decide for themselves when they are ready. And only then will true sex be free and unconditional.

  4. In support of the theory that a majority of men need their eyes to observe sex more than women to achieve orgasm, it is not an uncommon observation to see a man reach a second or third orgasm if there is a change in observable stimuli with respect to the woman or sometimes the rest of the environment whereas a woman can have multiple orgasms irrespective of what they are observing (because she is more reliant on her mind to visualise her next orgasm).

    For example, a woman is not only able to have multiple orgasms within a fairly short space of time (usually between 15 and 30 seconds of completing a previous orgasm), but if one observes carefully, a woman doesn't need to observe sex for this to work. Once the man's penis is properly inserted and inflated inside a woman's vagina, she merely has to visualise her next orgasm (without needing to touch the clitoris) and indeed it often becomes a reality for her.

    As for a man, he too can have multiple orgasms. However, the time between orgasms is significantly longer - perhaps anywhere between 15 and 30 minutes. Before a second or more orgasm is achieved for a man, the penis may be limp and seem of little use for sex. But the penis can suddenly spring back into action very quickly if he experiences different observable stimuli (e.g. the woman changes her position, or the man has sex with a different woman, or the same woman changes her lingerie, or there is a change in scenery such as a move from the bedroom to the kitchen). When this happens, it is possible to fool the man's brain into thinking there has been no sex at all because of those observable changes and is therefore possible to stimulate the man to initiate another sexual intercourse with the woman of a shorter duration, but effective enough for the man to ejaculate again.

  5. Protection for R-brain types can involve a variety of things from slowing down sex followed by an understanding of the importance of careful positioning of the body for each couple to ensure the penis is at an angle and cannot penetrate far enough into the vagina. In this way, the sperms can be stopped from going through the cervix. Alternatively, wearing condoms or even using some lemon juice in the vagina can also provide natural means of protection for R-brain types.

    NOTE 1: The juice of one fresh lemon is an ancient remedy for birth control in many countries because it has strong natural acids in the juice capable of destroying sperms. In fact, sexually-active couples should consider natural remedies first before embarking on more serious chemical contraception. Unless the sexual encounters are more L-brain and thus very difficult to manage birth control naturally and hence man-made contraception may be necessary, the natural approach is much more cheaper, healthier and more likely to have greater psychological, economic and emotional benefits to the couple and ultimately to society as a whole.

    NOTE 2: People who may have a concern for sexually transmitted diseases when engaging in sex should strongly consider using lemon juice as a means of controlling the problem. A number of scientific studies are now suggesting it may be possible to control the spread of AIDS, Hepatitis C and other serious diseases simply through effective hygiene and the application of an adequate amount of lemon juice in the vagina prior to and during sex. Further tests are still being carried out to confirm whether this is actually true. But to be safe, always wear a condom as well.

    NOTE 3: Lemon juice is once again proving itself to be a valuable aid to anyone with urinary tract infections. A urinary tract infection is usually caused by a fungus entering the urinary tract after sex or by other means leading to irritation and later an inflammation of the tract. The fungus prefers a moist environment (it mainly concentrates at the end of the urinary tract or where the urinary tract connects to the bladder), a relatively neutral pH level in the urine (it doesn't like extremely alkaline or acidic conditions), and requires adequate sugar levels in the urine (after a person has consumed sugar-laden foods or foods that can be readily converted into sugar such as pasta and rice) as a source of food. The usual solution to the problem suggested by Western doctors is for the person affected by the problem to mix a white powdery substance made of citric acid (approximately 1.23g per 4g of the powder) and other acids (e.g. tartaric acid) with purified water and to drink it so as to rebalance the pH levels in the urine. In Australia, this white powder is sold as Citravescent and Ural. However, the natural solution is to extract the juice of two fresh lemons. Place the juice in a medium-sized glass and dilute to the top with purified water. Drink this. It is not an unpleasant taste once the water has diluted the lemon juice. Repeat this about 3 times a day (preferably well before or after a meal, and even consider drinking a glass of the stuff before you go to bed and nothing else) and you should notice the fungal problem disappearing within 24 hours or sooner. Keep repeating for a few more weeks or longer to ensure all the fungus has been destroyed. Don't use orange juice as this does not have enough citric acids and has too much natural sugar. For a final blow to the fungal problem, use a broad-spectrum anti-fungal cream such as Canesten or tea tree oil on the outside over a reasonable area and a little inside the urinary tract near the exit point. The problem should permanently disappear.

    ## UPDATE ##
    There are some people who will say drinking too much citric acid can damage your kidneys. We have also heard drinking too much pure water is not good for the kidneys as well. Come to think of it, drinking too much alkaline substances such as milk is also not good for you. Confusing? Well, at the end of the day, you must drink what is required for a healthy life. For a healthy person, you should drink at least 1 litre of pure water per day. If you have urinary tract problems, drink some acidic liquids like lemon juice and tomato juice (no added sugar).

    ## UPDATE ##
    The above technique with lemon juice will be a powerful way to clear any fungal problems by working from the inside out. There may be the rare occasion when this technique can't quite get rid of the problem at the very end of the urinary tract. Lots of showers may help to clean the problem. However, our recommendation is to get a cotton stick and dab one end of it in diluted tea tree oil (15% oil / 75% pure water). Then wipe the entire outside area of the urinary tract and partially inside the urinary tract (great care must be taken when you do this). The problem should virtually disappear within 72 hours.

    AIM: Force the fungal infection into a "meat in the sandwich" situation and keep repeating with the lemon juice and diluted tea tree oil until it has no choice but to disappear.

  6. While there is a genetic factor to consider when encountering oversized penises and vaginas, the truth to the matter is that most of the size can be readily achieved through regular practice of the sexual organs (mostly through masturbation) and the help of artificial sex tools (e.g. clamps at the base of the penis, airtight vacuum tubes, and plastic dildos or vibrators).

    It is like going to the gym. As soon as you get some weights and begin practicing certain muscle types, those muscles will inevitable increase in size over time.

    But one should remember that size is not necessarily an indication of how much of a man or woman you are. Only your partner can tell you that.

    The idea that size matters is a particularly notorious and serious problem for men (i.e. the L-brain types). Most men believe that a particularly large penis is what makes a real man and nothing else matters. But without someone else like a woman to balance things and tell men what else is important, most men can once again feel insecure and easily lose their way. And more seriously, some women may not be able to enjoy the experience because men had focussed too much on their penis size to the point where it may cause pain to women. And when that happens, such well-endowed men usually aren't considered a man from a woman's point-of-view because she could not enjoy the experience.

    If some men find themselves in this situation, their only hope is to find a few exceptional women in the world or pay other women to help give them that brief experience (usually less then 60 seconds before the women complains) of what part of their penis feels like when it is inserted into a vagina or to have oral sex performed on the penis by someone.

    If you are able to satisfy your partner into having an orgasm and perhaps any other fantasy he/she may wish to experience, this is all that is necessary to be called a real man or a real woman in the eyes of your partner.

    In other words, you do not need to prove to the world how big your penis or vagina is. If your partner is happy, then your penis or vagina is more than adequate to achieve the goal(s) they were originally designed to achieve.

  7. Statistics are suggesting women who breastfeed regularly are less likely to develop breast cancer than those who don't or is infrequent. A similar situation may exist for men: remove the buildup of sperms and other fluids in this region and you are less likely to develop a dangerous disease called prostrate cancer.

  8. Moses 2004, p.6.

    However, in a L-brain society and the laws created by it, older people are often seen as bad people (or perverts) if they are associated in any way of a sexual nature with someone young, especially if the person is a year or two below the legal age limit, as if older people are categoried as damaging young people's lives psychologically and physically. This is irrespective of whether young people initiate the encounter and give their consent because they are ready and need someone to be responsible and understanding during the sexual experience.

    The only reason why there are a few older men (and women) in society who engage with very young people (ie well below the age of 12) is because these men and women have probably not been loved by someone of an age above 18 (either too busy with work or is not considered very attractive) and have become so L-brain (i.e. no R-brain to think of the consequences) that it is easy for these older people to see adult-like sexual characteristics in a child especially when the child displays and dresses to look much older than he/she really is. It is actually very rare when this happens. And when it occurs, we must provide immediate help.

    Society also has to take some responsibility in this situation by ensuring children can grow up as children without being influenced by marketing experts on television and in magazines to look in a certain way. Society must also give adults time away from work to relax and interact with other people of the right age so they can develop a relationship. And society has to value R-brain thinking so that all individuals can visualise the consequences and make balanced decisions.

    The other part of the responsibility equation is for the individual to take responsibility of understanding those personal feelings and thoughts, why it happens, and to find alternative solutions especially if they are likely to cause harm to other people. Help from a compassionate society will always play a crucial role in helping people become more balanced and responsible types.

  9. That is why so many L-brain types produce more babies than R-brain types. The L-brain couple, in focussing so much in achieving the state of orgasm as quickly as possible, believe great sex requires the man and the woman to achieve maximum penetration at all times. While this may be important for the woman reaching her orgasm and wants to feel as much of the man's penis as possible inside her, it is not always necessary or wise to do so at all times for R-brain couples.

    You see, if the penis can achieve maximum penetration and especially if the head of the penis reaches maximum size at the moment of ejaculation inside the vagina, the cervix will expand just enough to permit sperms to enter the deeper environment of the womb. Also deep penetration ensures the vagina will force the opening at the end of the man's penis to be almost perfectly aligned with the opening in the woman's cervix.

    Hence all it takes is for the head of the penis to expand gently the cervix and the speed of the ejaculate can then achieve the procreation goal of travelling far enough into the womb when they can fertilise the woman's egg with relative ease.

    Even if the penis, for some reason, does not line up properly with the cervix and the sperms were initially forced to settle in the vagina at the entrance to the cervix (perhaps as a natural form of contraception), if penetration continues and is accidentally made to go deeper, it is likely some sperms will enter the womb where the probability of fertilisation taking place increases significantly.

    That's why it is a myth to believe having sex standing up will prevent pregnancies. Depending on the length of the penis and whether the sex is performed front on instead of from behind, the penetration is likely to be great enough for the penis to reach close enough to the cervix. Then all it takes is for the ejaculate to generate enough speed to penetrate the cervix opening in order for babies to be made. The speed of the ejaculate is enough to overcome gravity.

    And even if the sperms are in the vagina, any deep and sudden penetration could see some sperms pass through the cervix.

    You have to make sure the penis does not go more than halfway into the vagina at the moment of ejaculation (and even if full penetration is performed before the moment, to ensure with practice that no pre-ejaculation can take place) and to force the penis to penetrate at an angle. If L-brain couples wish to avoid pregnancies, remember to make sure the penis does not penetrate the vagina too deeply and try to enter at an angle to ensure the sperms never reach the cervix. This will dramatically increase the protection of the woman from possible fertilisation of her egg.

    For example, a woman may choose not to bend to far in an exaggerated "doggy-style" position forcing her buttocks to be pushed up which would otherwise make it easy for the man to penetrate deeply inside of her and even touch her cervix with the head of his penis.

    In other words, if the R-brain woman chooses to stand up more during sex, the woman can use her buttocks to prevent the penis from the man from making full penetration from behind. Furthermore, the penis would also be forced to enter her vagina at an angle. The benefit of this is clear. At the moment when the man ejaculates, the sperms will hit the wall of her vagina and will not have the speed necessary to push its way to and through the cervix.

    Similarly, a woman may lie completely on her front on the bed or floor without lifting her buttocks or spreading her legs. This forces the man to straddle on top of her legs and push his penis downwards. Penetration may still be achieved, but because of the angle of the penis and the difficulty in pushing the penis far enough inside her vagina, when the man reaches his orgasm, it would be extremely difficulty for the ejaculate to achieve enough speed to push through the rest of the way and be lucky enough to pass through her cervix.

    As soon as sex is completed, it would not be unusual for the woman to take a bath to wash away the sperms as further protection.

    The aim in doing all of this for humans is to implement a long-forgotten natural conception process which allows a man to ejaculate if he needs to at the point of orgasm while still minimising the chances of the woman getting pregnant. As further protection, a women can also time her moment of experiencing sex to coincide just after the end of her last menstrual cycle when one of her eggs has already been expelled from her body. And if she is still unsure, she may choose to carry the man's penis in her mouth to ensure the sperms can never reach her womb (a common choice for young L-brain women who need the extra security).

    Does this mean all R-brain couples will never need to use condoms at all? No. There are rare cases where it may be necessary for some R-brain men to wear a condom. However, this may only be necessary if the man's penis is exceptionally long (and/or the woman's vagina is not deep enough), or there is potential for a lot of ejaculate to be present inside the vagina of which some could reach the cervix, or the cervix already naturally opens up during sex without the need for a penis to do the job, or there is every likelihood the L-brain side of the man may possibly dominate during sex and perhaps force him to accidentally ejaculate earlier than expected while the penis is in the middle of deep penetration inside the woman.

    As for L-brain couples, it would be wise to use condoms, especially in the early stages of sex (e.g. newly-weds, a new boyfriend or girlfriend etc). As the couples develop greater experience of each other's sexual requirements and how to sense the moment of orgasm and control it while experimenting with different positions, it may be possible to experience sex without a condom and without worrying about the side-effects of making babies.

  10. Total number of eggs at time of birth for humans is 700,000 and drops to 300,000 at puberty. In the mid-twenties, the figure becomes 100,000, and at menopause it is 1,000. But in the lifetime of a female, only about 500 eggs are needed and only one is required to make a baby.

  11. Multiple sclerosis and other similar motor control problems could be the result of excessive exercise causing blood vessels in parts of the brain controlling muscle movement to burst and eventually damage the nerves. While it is possible that certain high concentrations of metals in our diet can interfere with the electrochemical reactions in the nerves of our brain, excessive activity and hard work can potentially lead to a breakdown in the motor control neurons of the brain. Clean food and water and moderate (not excessive) exercise may be important to a healthy mind and body.

  12. Burne 2001, p.5.

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