Quotable Quotes

All free! But don't quote us on it!

As the name implies, please find below a good smattering of quotes from various people, famous or otherwise.

If you would like to see other information included in this section (whether to improve on this topic or suggest new areas worthy of discussion), don't hesitate to send us a message.

"All human power is a compound of time and patience."

"Experience is always experience of oneself; it cannot, therefore, make others wise."

"The great revolution of the future will be Nature's revolt against man."

"A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring."

"Style is when you lean against a lamp-post and it looks as though you are doing it a favour."

"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."

"Peace if possible, but truth at any rate."

"What we hope ever to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence."

"The best way to preserve life is to freeze it and dry it."

"Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts."

"The three most important events of human life are equally devoid of reason - birth, marriage, and death."

"The good and the wise lead quiet lives."

"Envy eats nothing but its own heart."

"At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage."

"If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world."

"All sorts of bodily diseases are produced by half-used minds."

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."

"Work is the meat of life, pleasure the dessert."

"Science is always wrong. It never solves a problem without creating ten more."

"Doubt is the key of knowledge."

"A theory must be tempered with reality."

"There are fools who judge men by their outside."

"Not he who has much is rich. but he who gives much."

"The house was more covered with mortgages than with paint."
GEORGE ADE Nothing can be so deceiving as a photograph."

"One must be poor to know the luxury of giving."

"Men learn while they teach."

"You can never plan the future by the past."
EDMUND BURKE The most precious things in speech are pauses."

"Don't make excuses - make good."

"Wisdom is a treasure for all time."

"There's one thing about baldness: it's neat."

"One should eat to live, not live to eat."

"Discretion in speech, is more than eloquence."

"Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you."

"Never give advice in a crowd."

"Language is the dress of thought."

"Children are poor men's riches."

"What we learn with pleasure we never forget."

"Memories are all we really own."

"Rich men die but banks are immortal."

"What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals."

"Interruptions are the spice of life."

"Ugly facts are a challenge to beautify them."

"Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them."

"This life is not for complaint, but for satisfaction."

"Fish and guests smell in three days."

"The British tourist is always happy abroad so long as the natives are waiters."

"Be sparing of speech, and things will come right of themselves."

"To be mature means to face, and not evade, every fresh crisis that comes."

"Depth of friendship does not depend upon length of acquaintance."

"With the mingling of races there is increasing life and vigor."

"My destination is no longer a place, rather a new way of seeing."

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other."

"Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get."

"An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it."

"True generosity gives recognition."

"It takes self-respect to know how to remain silent."

"There is a crack in everything God has made."

"He that forgives gains the victory."

"Admonish your friends privately, but praise them openly."

"The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress."

"If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research."

"Every man has a right to his opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts."

"Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work."

"Don't let yesterday use up too much of today!

"Be true to yourself. Then at least one person will not be false to you."

"If there is anything better than to be loved, it is loving."

"A room without books is a body without a soul."

"A man shows his character by what he laughs at."

"I derived my education from the uneducated."

"Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs."

"Ireland is a country in which the probable never happens and the impossible always does."

"Within I do not find wrinkles and used heart, but unspent youth."

"Nothing can be more useful to a man than a determination not to be hurried."

"A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if he knew the facts of the case."

"The true way to mourn the dead is to take care of the living who belong to them."

"We learn to do by doing."

"He is poor whose expenses exceed his income."

"The deepest truths are the simplest and the most common."

"Being in the right does not depend on having a loud voice."

"The bowels of compassion: a wonderful old phrase. They ought to be kept open."

"Every gift, though it be small, is in reality great if given with affection."

"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

"Friendship is not necessary, like philosophy, like art....It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

"People hear statistics, but they feel stories."
Brent Dykes (Director of Data Strategy, Domo)

"Take enough time to think and plan things in the order of their importance."

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet."

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."

Knowledge & Truth

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain

The advent of computers has seen a reduction in time available for other work. Microsoft boss Mr Bill Gates, was reported in Times magazine as saying: 'Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient."
(Time, January 1997, p.?)

"The deepest truths are the simplest and most common."
Frederick William Robertson (1816-53), English clergyman

"The improver of natural knowledge absolutely refuses to acknowledge authority as such; for every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority."
Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-95), English biologist

"Don't keep forever on the public road, going only where others have gone. Leave the beaten track occasionally and dive into the woods. You will be certain to find something you have never seen before."
Alexander Graham Bell (Childress 1985. The Antigravity Handbook, p.139)

""Authorities", "disciples" and "schools" are the curse of science and do more to interfere with the work of the scientific spirit than all its enemies."
Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-95), English biologist (Childress 1985, p.2)

"It may not be an unattainable hope that some day a clearer knowledge of the processes of gravitation may be reached, and the extreme generality and detachment of the relativity theory may be illuminated by the particular study of a precise mechanism."
Dr Albert Einstein, physicist and philosopher (Childress 1985, p.68)

"Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."

"Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love. Then for the second time in the history of the world man will have discovered fire."
Teilhard de Chardin (Childress 1985, p.1)

"If you shut up truth and bury it under the ground, it will but grow, and gather to itself such explosive power that the day it bursts through it will blow up everything in its way."
Emile Zola (Le Poer Trench 1974, p.129)

"You can fool some of the people all the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time."
Abraham Lincoln, 29 May 1856 (Le Poer Trench 1974, p.155)

"I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions they have already reached perhsps with great difficulty, conclusions which they have delighted in explaining to colleagues, which they have proudly taught to others, and which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives."
Count Leo Tolstoy (Ward 1992, p.46)

"It is more important to have imagination than knowledge."
Albert Einstein

"Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers."
Alfred Tennyson, 1887 (McDonald 1994, p.68)

"Any new scientific theory created as an extension of, or based upon, the authorities' own currently accepted theories is no better than that which helped forge it in the first place. For an even better theory of greater originality, simplicity and explaining power, one must learn to reject authority where necessary and search for the truth. To do so means one must have imagination."
Cesar Trujillo

"Science is the attempt to make the chaotic diversity of our sense-experience correspond to a logically-uniform system of thought."
Albert Einstein, physicist and philosopher

"The first requirement of a scientist is that he be curious; he must be capable of being astonished and eager to find out."
Erwin Schröedinger, physicist (from his book, Nature and the Greeks, p.55; Hynek 1972, p.6)

"Good science is the ability to look at things in a new way and achieve an understanding that you didn't have before....It is opening windows on the world...you perceive a little tiny glimpse of the way the Universe hangs together, which is a wonderful feeling."
Sir Hans Leo Kornberg, British professor of biochemistry at the University of Cambridge (Rassam 1993, p.33)

"Despite all human knowledge we have acquired, it is considered no more important than knowledge relating to the concept of love. Without this basic knowledge, it would be impossible for anyone to creatively produce things of great value and beauty to our world, or even to apply constructively all the knowledge our technological society has to offer to the concern and well-being of all living things."
Cesar Trujillo

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed."
Albert Einstein, physicist and philosopher (Rassam 1993, p.33)

Science is to know how the world is. But what is the mystical experience? Wittgenstein once said: '[It is] not how the world is, but that it is, is the mystical experience'.(Rowan-Robinson 1979, p.21)

"There were times in the history of science when men and women did not have the machines to observe nature at work with their very own eyes. Without machines to penetrate the very essence of nature and scrutinise the world at all levels, some scientists, including Dr Albert Einstein, made the decision to use their minds as the laboratory to imagine nature at work instead of observing nature at work."

"The power of the human mind is tremendous. We now know there are things in the universe we cannot physically observe and measure scientifically, but this does not mean that one should stop all further scientific inquiry into those things because our instruments and our physical senses fail to provide us with the information we are searching for. We still have our minds to contend with. It can overcome all barriers of nature set before us. Use it, and the great wonders of the universe begin to unfold in its own simplicity and beauty."
Cesar Trujillo

"Electromagnetic waves of many different frequencies permeate the known universe. We live in a sea of such radiations, and the space through which our planet travels is an ocean of radiation."
John A. Keel (Keel 1970, p. 57)

Human Nature

"Only the mediocre are always at their best."
Jean Giraudoux (For Your Information, Number 9, published by AussiePrint, p.4)

"Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming."
J. P. McEvoy

"Laugh at your problems; everybody else does."

"It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune."
Woody Allen

"To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old."
Oliver Wendell Holmes, 1870 (McDonald et al 1994, p.80)

"It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this."
Bertrand Russell

"The World makes way for the people who know where they are going."
F. W. Emerson, 1842 (McDonald et al 1994, p.88)

"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
Earl Wilson

"If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking."
Lyndon Baines Johnson

"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy."
R. L. Stevenson, 1871 (McDonald et al 1994, p.56)

"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."
Woody Allen (from Without Feathers)

"If little else, the brain is an educational toy."
Tom Robbins

"If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!' Samuel Goldwyn

"I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."
George McGovern

"I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it."

"I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of claiming that I have never made one."
James Gordon Bennett

"I do not know myself, and God forbid that I should."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed of yourself."

"Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out."

"He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful."
Sydney Smith

"Have you ever noticed that the people who are always trying to tell you, "There's a time for work and a time for play", never find the time for play?"

"God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh."

“If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee—that will do them in.”
Bradley’s Bromide


”A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”
Milton Berle

"God made integers; all else is the work of Man."

"God must love the Common Man; He made so many of them."

"If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!"

"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again."
F. P. Jones

"Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterward."

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."

"Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness."

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
Mark Twain

"Conscience if a mother-in-law whose visit never ends."
H. L. Mencken

"Conscious is when you are aware of something and conscience is when you wish you weren't."

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
Albert Einstein

"Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve. Run with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened. Keep the company of bums and you will become a bum. Hang around with rich people and you will end by picking up the check and dying broke."
Stanley Walker

"Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations (six if one went to Harvard)."
Edgar R. Fiedler

"Anything free is worth what you pay for it."

"An authority is a person who can tell you more about something than you really care to know."

"All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by the government in less than a second."
Jim Fiebig

"All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income."
Samuel Butler

"A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students."

"Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else."

"It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."

"Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."

"A hard man is good to find."

"Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, then you won't either."

"You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today."

"God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can choose our friends."

"You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry."

"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous."

"Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible."

"For every action there is an equal and opposite government program."

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."

"Why is it if you send a package by Ship it is called Cargo, and if you send it by Car it is called a Shipment?"

"All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy."

"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."

"A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other."

"A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular."
Adlai Stevenson

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
William James

"A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks."

"A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free."

"A real person has two reasons for doing anything... a good reason and the real reason."

"A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous."

"Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless."
Sinclair Lewis

"All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that keeps us sane."

"All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed."
Sean O'Casey

"All theoretical chemistry is really physics; and all theoretical chemists know it."
Richard P. Feynman

"All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers....Each one owes infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in which he was born."
Francois Fenelon

"Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way."

"An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible."
Russell Hoban, Pilgermann

"An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it."

"An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.

""Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like an hour. But if you're sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an hour seems like a minute."

"The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a moment and says, "And from this he makes a living?""
Arthur Naiman (In his book, Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish)

"Any clod can have the facts, but having an opinion is an art."
Charles McCabe

"Any father who thinks he's all important should remind himself that this country honors fathers only one day a year while pickles get a whole week."

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
Arthur C. Clarke

"Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something."

"Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours."
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment."
Robert Benchley

"Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm."
Publilius Syrus

"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined."
Samuel Goldwyn

"Anything worth doing is worth overdoing."

"Art is anything you can get away with."
Marshall McLuhan.

"Art is either plagiarism or revolution."
Paul Gauguin

"Arthur's Laws of Love:
(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of someone else.
(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person."

"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."
Albert Einstein

"Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to a forty-two-year-old woman, director Roman Polanski told reporters, "The way I look at it, she's the equivalent of three fourteen-year-olds.""
David Letterman

"At least they're EXPERIENCED incompetents."

"At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer."
Marshall Lumsden

"Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb."
Stanley Kaufman

"Barth's Distinction: There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't."

"Beifeld's Principle: The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: (1) a date, (2) his wife, (3) a better looking and richer male friend."

"Boling's postulate: If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it."

"Bore, n.: A guy who wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary."
Walter Winchell

"Boy, life takes a long time to live."
Steven Wright

"Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men."
Kin Hubbard

"Brain, n.:
The apparatus with which we think that we think."
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

But scientists, who ought to know
Assure us that it must be so.
Oh, let us never, never doubt
What nobody is sure about.
Hilaire Belloc

"Call on God, but row away from the rocks."
Indian proverb

"Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool."
Kelvin Throop III

"Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next."
Franklin P. Jones

"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
Phyllis Diller

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain

"Committee, n.:
A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."
Fred Allen

"Committee Rules:
(1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
(2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
(3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
(4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
(5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular - it's what everyone is waiting for."

"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."
Clive James

"Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius."
Josh Billings

"Concept, n.:
Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than $25,000."

"Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation."

"Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy."

"Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings."

"Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management."
Senator Soaper

"Did you know that if you took all the economists in the world and lined them up end to end, they'd still point in the wrong direction?'

"Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow."

"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats."
Howard Aiken

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
Charles Schultz

"Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them."

"Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it."
W. Somerset Maugham

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."
Woody Allen

"Every four seconds a woman has a baby. Our problem is to find this woman and stop her."

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron."
Dwight Eisenhower, 16 April 16 1953

"Every successful person has had failures but repeated failure is no guarantee of eventual success."

"Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to realize it."

"Finding out what goes on in the C.I.A. is like performing acupuncture on a rock."
New York Times, 20 Janaury 1981

"Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing."
Walt Kelly, Putluck Pogo

"For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong."
H. L. Mencken

"From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
Groucho Marx, from "The Book of Insults"

"Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line."
Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

"Furious activity is no substitute for understanding."
H. H. Williams

"Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example."
La Rouchefoucauld

"Good leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed.'

"Happiness is having a scratch for every itch."
Ogden Nash

"Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember."
Oscar Levant

"He is now rising from affluence to poverty."
Mark Twain

"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."
W. C. Fields

"How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on."

"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."
English Professor

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
Winston Churchill

"Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone; solitude the glory of being alone."
Paul Tillich

"Advice is a drug in the market; the supply always exceeds the demand."
Josh Billings

"Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes, and adversity is not without comforts and hopes."
Francis Bacon

"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."
Mark Twain

"The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time."
Richard Cecil

"The ear is less trustworthy witness than the eye."

"There are two worlds; the world that we can measure with line and rule, and the world that we feel with our hearts and imaginations."
Leigh Hunt

"Every new adjustment is a crisis in self esteem."
Eric Hoffer

"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."
Jacques Bossuet

"He who bestows his goods upon the poor,
Shall have as much again and ten times more."

"Those who apply themselves too much to little things usually become incapable of great things."
La Rouchefoucauld

"Think twice before you speak - and you'll find that your wife has changed the subject."
The Irish Digest

"It has been women who have breathed gentleness and care into the harsh progress of mankind."
Elizabeth II

"An adult is one who has ceased to grow vertically but not horizontally."

"We inherit nothing truly, but what our actions make us worthy of."
George Chapman

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
Samual Clems

"Religion is not a way of looking at certain things. It is a certain way of looking at everything."
Robert E. Segal

"Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech."
Martin Farquhar Tupper

"Nothing flatters a man as much as the happiness of his wife; he is always proud of himself as the source of it."
Samuel Johnson

"All the passions become extinguished with age, except self-love, which never dies."

"We fight to great disadvantage when we fight with those who have nothing to lose."
Francesco Guicciandini

"It is character which builds an existence out of circumstance."

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as you please."
Samuel Longhorne Clemens

"As a preventative to mental old age, a daily mile trot with your imagination cannot be equaled."
Ray Giles

"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."
Oscar Wilde

"To succeed in the world, we do everything we can to appear successful."
La Rouchefoucauld

"Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down."
Wilson Mizner

"Know how to listen, and you will profit even from those who talk badly."

"Prolonged idleness paralyses initiative."

"The heart that is soonest awake to the flowers is always the first to be touched by the thorns."
Thomas Moore

"The ear tires sooner than the tongue."

"If one take care of the means, the end will take care of itself."

"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it."

"I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."
English Professor, Ohio University

"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."
Dave Barry

"I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean."
G. K. Chesterton

"I can remember when a good politician had to be 75 percent ability and 25 percent actor, but I can well see the day when the reverse could be true."
Harry Truman

"I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars."
Fred Allen

"I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still..."
Steven Wright

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use."
Galileo Galilei

"I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind."
George Bernard Shaw

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."
Gotama Buddha

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
Albert Einstein

"I like being single. I'm always there when I need me."
Art Leo

"I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it."
Dwight D. Eisenhower

"I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up."
Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad

"I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation."
G. B. Shaw

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
Shirley Temple

"I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this."
Emo Phillips

"I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else....I was not a Child Prodigy, because a Child Prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up."
Will Rogers

"I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn. By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up. So I figured what the hell, and drove it around the block a few times. I thought I should go park it in the middle of the freeway and yell at everyone to get off my driveway."
Steven Wright

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know."
Mark Twain

"I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't work."

"If a camel is a horse designed by a committee, then a consensus forecast is a camel's behind."
Edgar R. Fiedler

"If A equals success, then the formula is A=X + Y + Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."
Albert Einstein

"If all the Chinese simultaneously jumped into the Pacific off a 10 foot platform erected 10 feet off their coast, it would cause a tidal wave that would destroy everything in this country west of Nebraska."

"If God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set him on Fire."

"If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?'
Marvin Kitman

"If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants."
Isaac Newton

"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders."
Hal Abelson

"In computer science, we stand on each other's feet."
Brian K. Reid

"If money can't buy happiness, I guess you'll just have to rent it."

"If only I could be respected without having to be respectable."

"If only one could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything."

"If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability."
The late Dr Vannevar Bush, a top US scientist

"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?'
Art Hoppe

"If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted."
Marguerite Emmons

"If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly."

"If you cannot convince them, confuse them."
Harry S Truman

"If you don't go to other men's funerals they won't go to yours."
Clarence Day

"If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce."
Winston Churchill

"If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred."
George Burns

"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think they'll hate you."

"If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
Mark Twain

"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
Derek Bok, president of Harvard

"If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
Dorothy Parker

"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality."
Jules de Gaultier

"Immortality - a fate worse than death."
Edgar A. Shoaff

"In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."'
Mark Twain

"In those days he was wiser than he is now he used to frequently take my advice."
Winston Churchill

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Innovation is hard to schedule."
Dan Fylstra

"Irrationality is the root of all evil."

"It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either."
Mark Twain

"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper."
Rod Serling

"It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."
Woody Allen

"It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue."

"It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great."
Havelock Ellis

"It was one of those perfect summer days the sun was shining, a breeze was blowing, the birds were singing, and the lawn mower was broken..."
James Dent

"It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word."
Andrew Jackson

"It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for."

"It's bad luck to be superstitious."
Andrew W. Mathis

"It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all."
Marty Winch

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
Walt Disney

"It's men like him that give the Y chromosome a bad name."

"It's more than magnificent it's mediocre."
Sam Goldwyn

"It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair."
George Burns

"It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one."
Phil White

"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Woody Allen

"Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government:
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session."

"Jesus Saves
Moses Invests
But only Buddha pays Dividends"

"Jones' Law:
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."

"Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions."
Henry N. Camp

"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
Victor Borge

"Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. You're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number."
James Estes

"Life is like a bowl of soup with hairs floating on it. You have to eat it nevertheless."

"Life is too important to take seriously."
Corky Siegel

"Life would be much simpler and things would get done much faster if it weren't for other people."

"Logically incoherent, semantically incomprehensible, and legally...impeccable!'

"Logicians have but ill defined
As rational the human kind.
Logic, they say, belongs to man,
But let them prove it if they can."
Oliver Goldsmith

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
Matt Groening

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
H. L. Mencken

"Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art."
Susan Sontag

"Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to."

"Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor."
Wernher von Braun

"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to."
Mark Twain

"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."
Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

"Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant."
Malcolm Smith

"Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language, and forthwith it is something entirely different."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"May the Fleas of a Thousand Camels infest one of your Erogenous Zones."

"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms."
Groucho Marx

"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."
Groucho Marx

"Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings."

"Mohandas K. Gandhi often changed his mind publicly. An aide once asked him how he could so freely contradict this week what he had said just last week. The great man replied that it was because this week he knew better."

"Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass."
Frank Zappa

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
Abraham Lincoln

"Neckties strangle clear thinking."
Lin Yutang

"Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do."
R. A. Heinlein

"No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut."
Channing Pollock

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt

"No part of this message may reproduce, store itself in a retrieval system, or transmit disease, in any form, without the permissiveness of the author."
Chris Shaw

"No self-respecting fish would want to be wrapped in that kind of paper."
Mike Royko on the Chicago Sun-Times after it was taken over by Rupert Murdoch

"No violence, gentlemen no violence, I beg of you! Consider the furniture!'
Sherlock Holmes

"No, Eureka is Greek for This bath is too hot."
Dr. Who

"Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it."
Tallulah Bankhead

"Nobody suffers the pain of birth or the anguish of loving a child in order for presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the substance of their people, for insurance companies to cheat the young and rob the old."
Lewis Lapham

"Nothing is faster than the speed of light....To prove this to yourself, try opening the refrigerator door before the light comes on."

"Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it."
Andrew Young

"Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all."
Oscar Wilde

"Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man."

"On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does."
Will Rogers

"One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening."
Franklin P. Jones

"One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette."
Professor Charles P. Issawi

"One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone."

"One is not superior merely because one sees the world as odious."
Chateaubriand (1768-1848)

"One learns to itch where one can scratch."
Ernest Bramah

"One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio changes to one quarter as many..."
Anthony Chevins (The value of individualism)

"One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people."

"Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants."
General Omar N. Bradley

"Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life."
Eric Hoffer

"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river."
Nikita Khrushchev

"Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity."
Alvy Ray Smith

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
Philip K. Dick

"Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin."
Anatole France

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
Wernher von Braun

"Saw a sign on a restaurant that said Breakfast, any time - so I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance."
Steven Wright

"Schapiro's Explanation: The grass is always greener on the other side but that's because they use more manure."

"Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science."
Henri Poincaire

"Scientists are people who build the Brooklyn Bridge and then buy it."
William Buckley

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
Woody Allen

"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
Fletcher Knebel

"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence."
Bertrand Russell (Religion values right-brain, not necessarily left-brain)

"Some people in this department wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit them on the head."

"Sometimes I simply feel that the whole world is a cigarette and I'm the only ashtray."

"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."
Lily Tomlin

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."
Samuel Goldwyn

"Speer's Law of Proofreading: The visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the number of times you have looked at it."

"Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
Mark Twain

"Support bacteria it's the only culture some people have!' Anonymous

"Support wildlife vote for an orgy."

"Support your local police force steal!' Anonymous

"Support your local Search and Rescue unit get lost."

"Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards."
Aldous Huxley

"Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even one which cannot be justified on any other grounds."
J. Finnegan, USC.

"That boy's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver."
Foghorn Leghorn

"The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper."
Thomas Jefferson

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get to school."

"The chief danger in life is that you may take too may precautions."
Alfred Adler

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
Albert Einstein

"The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein it rejects it."
P. Medawar

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
Mark Twain

"The idea is to die young as late as possible."
Ashley Montagu

"The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been."
Alan Ashley-Pitt

"The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be."
Lao Tsu

"The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else do it wrong without comment."
Theodore H. White

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny..."'
Isaac Asimov

"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from."
Andrew S. Tanenbaum

"The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."
H. L. Mencken

"The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath."
Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."
Oscar Wilde

"The only thing we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history."

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
Oscar Wilde

"The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth."
Niels Bohr

"The optimum committee has no members."
Norman Augustine

"The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us."
Mario Cuomo

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
George Bernard Shaw

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe."
Mayor Frank Rizzo

"The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination but the combination is locked up in the safe."
Peter DeVries

"There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool. This is obviously impossible."
Richard Davisson

"There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone."
Gloria Steinem

"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."
Woody Allen

"There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum."
Arthur C. Clarke

"There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."
Ross MacDonald

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."
Oscar Wilde

"Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well."

"Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once."

"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk."
Thomas Edison

"Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence."
Henrik Tikkanen

"Truth is the most valuable thing we have so let us economize it."
Mark Twain

"Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth."
Alan Watts

"Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three and paradise is when you have none."
Doug Larson

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."
Salvor Hardin

"We have met the enemy, and he is us."
Walt Kelly

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation."
Lily Tomlin

"We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve one technical problem how to run a sunbeam through a meter."

"Westheimer's Discovery: A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library."

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."
Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"

"What is mind? No matter.
What is matter? Never mind."
Thomas Hewitt Key, 1799-1875

"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite."
Bertrand Russell, "Skeptical Essays", 1928

"What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?'
Ursula K. LeGuin

"Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down."
Collis P. Huntingdon

"When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere."
Robert Heinlein

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it."
Clarence Darrow

"When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
Woody Allen

"When in doubt, tell the truth."
Mark Twain

"Whoever wants to be a man must be unconventional."
Ananda Mayi Ma

"When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the plane will fly."
Donald Douglas

"When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part."
George Bernard Shaw

"When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary."
Thomas Paine

"When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship."
Harry Truman

"Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong."
Oscar Wilde

"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."
Mark Twain

"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved."
Mark Twain

"With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress."
Ransom K. Ferm

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
Franklin P. Jones

"You can take all the impact that science considerations have on funding decisions at NASA, put them in the navel of a flea, and have room left over for a caraway seed and Tony Calio's heart."
F. Allen

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?'
Steven Wright

"You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd."

"You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist," he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing."
Sydney Harris

"You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue agree with him."
Ed Howe

"You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog."
Alfred Kahn

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do."
Olin Miller.

"You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You're not paid enough to worry."

"You're never too old to become younger."
Mae West

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Dean Martin

"Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with."

"You have gone on a journey in your youthful days of seeking and wondering who you are and what is the meaning and purpose of all. Journey on bravely and have no fear, for now you are protected by the mantle of love and unseen hands guide and direct you."
Paramahansa Satyananda

"When an activity feels as though it is valuable or worth doing, it is worth doing."
Carl Rogers

"Government interest in self-employment is indicated by the countries that look to self-employment as a route out of poverty or disadvantage."
David G. Blanchflower & Bruce Meyer in an article entitled, A Longitudinal Analysis of Young Entrepreneurs in Australia and the United States, published in R. G. Gregory & T. Karmel's (editors) 1992, Youth in the Eighties: Papers from the Australian Longitudinal Survey Research Project, Centre for Economic Policy Research, Australian National University, p.63

"Any economy in which there is a significant private sector relies in the long run upon its ability to generate innovators and entrepreneurs."
David G. Blanchflower & Bruce Meyer in an article entitled, A Longitudinal Analysis of Young Entrepreneurs in Australia and the United States, published in R. G. Gregory & T. Karmel's (editors) 1992, Youth in the Eighties: Papers from the Australian Longitudinal Survey Research Project, Centre for Economic Policy Research, Australian National University, p.69

"If you are older, more experienced and more educated, you are more likely to become self-employed."
David G. Blanchflower & Bruce Meyer in an article entitled, A Longitudinal Analysis of Young Entrepreneurs in Australia and the United States, published in R. G. Gregory & T. Karmel's (editors) 1992, Youth in the Eighties: Papers from the Australian Longitudinal Survey Research Project, Centre for Economic Policy Research, Australian National University, p.84

Famous last words:
(1) "Don't worry, I can handle it."
(2) Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.
(3) What happens if you touch these two wires togeth...
(4) We won't need reservations.
(5) Don't worry, it's not loaded.

Health Quotes

"Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint."
Mark Twain

"Tell yourself how great your going to feel and focus on the things you're doing right."
John Kelly, Manager and Fitness Instructor of Prime Movers Fitness & Recreation Club, Canberra, Australia

"Men and women who are physically fit are 8 times less likely to die from cardiovascular disease than unfit persons."
Dr Steven Blair, Dr Harold W. Kohl, et al, "Physical Fitness and All-Cause Mortality": Journal of the American Medical Association, 3 November 1989

"Regular exercise delays bone loss and promotes bone formation in women most at risk of osteoporosis. Men and women who remain physically active into old age are not likely to suffer from osteoporosis."
Dr Keith Johnsgard, San Jose State University, The Exercise Prescription for Depression and Anxiety, 1989

"By burning calories more efficiently and allowing the body to burn calories while at rest, regular exercise helps maintain optimal body weight and composition."
Dr William Haskell, Heart Disease Prevention program, Standford University Medical Centre, Developing an Activity Plan for Improving Health: Exercise and Mental Health, 1987

"Exercise alone is as effective as psychotherapy for moderate depression."
Dr Keith Johnsgard, San Jose State University, The Exercise Prescription for Depression and Anxiety, 1989

"Old Age: That period in life when we no longer care where our wife is going, as long as she doesn't want us to come along."
Alfredo La Mont (Reader's Digest, February 1992)

"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."

Quotes by Albert Einstein

The following quotes are either directly quoted from Einstein in newspapers or in speeches, essays and books written by him, or variants on original quotes spoken by Einstein at different times in his life and later a record kept by those who listened to the man for posterity. Other quotes are less known, thought to be part of private conversations with the man by those who knew him (or some could be fakes), but the general consensus is that the following quotes were attributed to Einstein:

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."

"I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

"The only real valuable thing is intuition."

"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."

"I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice."

"God is subtle but he is not malicious."

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."

"I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."

"The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."

"Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing."

"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

"Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it."

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."

"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."

"God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically."

"The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking."

"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal."

"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding."

"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible."

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."

"Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity."

"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."

"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

"In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep."

"The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead."

"Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves."

"Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!"

"No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"

"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."

"Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever."

"The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker."

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence."

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."

"The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge."

"Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

"One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year."

"...one of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought."

"He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder."

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton)

"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth."


Le Poer Trench, Brinsley. 1974, The Flying Saucer Story. London: Universal-Tandem Publishing Company Limited.

McDonald, Tony, Day, Dianne & Bennett, Gary. 1994, Financial Passages. Sydney, Australia: Armstrong Jones Management Limited.

Ward, Jimmy. "Dem Bones": Far-Out. Fall 1992, Volume 1, Number 1, pp.44-46.