The main steps to better human behavioural development and thinking skills
The main steps to helping your child to concentrate on tasks for long periods of time and so improve the stability of your child's human behaviour and thinking are as follows:
- Make sure there is a stable and supportive environment for the child to grow. If the family keeps moving around to different places, or if the father is taken away to prison, or there is a divorce between the mother and father, it can make it difficult for the child to properly focus on what's important in life as he/she tries to understand the world around him/her.
- Help the child find something interesting to do for a long period of time. It could be the simple act of going fishing every weekend, going to the gym or watching an educational and/or funny movie at the cinemas, visiting a library and reading up on an interesting topic, doing the dishes in a more interesting way (Tom Cruise fashion if you like), or playing a non-violent and/or educational computer game that requires some concentration from the child (with plenty of rewards and encouragement).
- Support the child in those stable areas of interest to him/her. And assist the child if there is a problem. Give regular positive reinforcement, especially when something important has been achieved by the child. Perhaps the reinforcement could be just being there for the child, giving the child a hug, and/or a trip to his/her favourite restaurant or weekend holiday and so on.
- Do not dwell on the negative aspects of a child's behaviour. If the child does something wrong, learn to ignore it. If the child asks what's wrong, explain through complete communication the feelings people go through when the child does the wrong thing and why and, if necessary, what should be done to improve the situation. This should be said in the form of guiding the child to a more preferred path (1), but never as a command or order and especially do not associate the negative aspects of his/her behaviour with the threat of punishment. Or better still, let the child use his/her creativity to improve the situation.
Make sure the child has been psychologically evaluated by a professional in extreme cases where the child cannot focus properly on a task. Can the child learn and how much effort must be put into helping the child focus on something of interest to him/her and of potential benefit to society for a long time?
Who knows? All that preservative-filled and artificial colouring and flavouring cordial drink could be affecting the child's concentration.
Look at the environment and make sure it is free of pollution, in a safe environment, and surrounded by people who are interested in helping other people to achieve their best. For example, are you feeding your child lots of pre-packaged foods containing preservatives and/or artificial colourings? If so, the chemicals could be interfering with the child's normal behavioural development.
Also people who are lacking in love for themselves and don't have the same things as you do could go out and create problems for other people (e.g. bullying). You must seek out those people who could be affecting the child, talk to them, understand where they are coming from and why those behaviours need to be implemented. Then work together to find an alternative and permanent solution to help everyone concerned. For example, why not invite these people to a family outing or dinner?
Make these people feel wanted and a part of the wider community for a long nough period of time until they can see a better way of doing things.
Will sending my child to the military achieve the same goals?
This focussing approach is quite common in the Armed forces, which is why it is not unusual for families to send their son(s) to the military. The Armed forces may successfully train the child to focus on certain values and may leave the military with a strong rational and stable mind. But the only problem with this approach is that it teaches the child to be unemotional and to believe it is alright to use heavy-handed tactics and other punishment means to change and/or stabilise behaviour in their own children or anyone else. (2)
There are many ways to teach a child to concentrate and focus on tasks. You need not have to send a child to military school to achieve the same aims.
Support your children in a positive sense and let them grow in their own unique way
We feel the best way of developing a child is to get them to focus on something of interest to him/her and to reward the child regularly and especially after achieving certain important goals. Be there for the child as he/she achieves the goals (unless the child is sufficiently independent to go at it alone, in which case acknowledge his/her maturity by letting the child learn and get rewards for him/herself and smile to show your approval).
Finally, encourage the child to achieve something great, no matter how small it may seem, as this will develop his/her self-esteem and slowly help the child to achieve greater things. And let the child know he/she is always a valuable member of the family and ultimately of the global community.
In essence, you must know the importance of love in solving all problems.